How long did it take to communicate effectively with your Thai partner?

[belg]

And she's a Chula graduate?

Chula graduates are ten a penny. If your wife didn't study overseas she's basically worthless.

forgot to mention:

(extra) master degree in France, after chula

and also something something in the UK

ten a penny, so your wife studied something better ?

[chiang mai]

Belg: did you read the prior exchange correctly? It looks like maybe some parts got confused.

[slipperylobster]

Only took me a few minutes, as I let my little head do all the talking......and she did almost the same.

[inthepink]

And she's a Chula graduate?

Chula graduates are ten a penny. If your wife didn't study overseas she's basically worthless.

forgot to mention:

(extra) master degree in France, after chula

and also something something in the UK

ten a penny, so your wife studied something better ?

It was supposed to be funny. I'm not going to get into a pissing contest about the quality of my wife's education.

[fatdrunkandstupid]

I slap my missus on the forehead with my penis every time she does not understand me.

Her English skills are improving.

Vile. Not only is it not funny, but it expresses violence. Anyone who slaps their wife or gf is NOT a man. Anyone who beats their gf or wife sexually, is a pervert and NOT a man.

Misguided dribble. The only issue is consent. Many partners LOVE to get a good spanking.

R v Brown [1993] 2 All ER 75

HOUSE OF LORDS

LORD TEMPLEMAN, LORD JAUNCEY OF TULLICHETTLE, LORD LOWRY, LORD MUSTILL AND LORD SLYNN OF HADLEY

1, 2, 3, 7 DECEMBER 1992, 11 MARCH 1993

The appellants belonged to a group of sado-masochistic homosexuals who over a 10-year period from 1978 willingly participated in the commission of acts of violence against each other, including genital torture, for the sexual pleasure which it engendered in the giving and receiving of pain. The passive partner or victim in each case consented to the acts being committed and suffered no permanent injury. The activities took place in private at a number of different locations, including rooms equipped as torture chambers at the homes of three of the appellants. Video cameras were used to record the activities and the resulting tapes were then copied and distributed amongst members of the group. The tapes were not sold or used other than for the delectation of members of the group. The appellants were tried on charges of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, contrary to s 47 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861, and unlawful wounding, contrary to s 20 of that Act. The Crown’s case was based very largely on the contents of the video tapes. Following a ruling by the trial judge that the consent of the victim afforded no defence to the charges, the appellants pleaded guilty and were sentenced to terms of imprisonment. The appellants appealed against their convictions, contending that a person could not guilty be of assault occasioning actual bodily harm or unlawful wounding in respect of acts carried out in private with the consent of the victim. The Court of Appeal dismissed their appeals. The appellants appealed to the House of Lords.

[davidmann]

does not matter if she talks english or you talk thai ,you will never understand her she will never understand you

[Neeranam]

Right after " I buy gold you ", communication improved exponentially!

She bought you gold?

or

You talk to her in Pidgin?

[Donnie Brasco]

How long how long, how long? Always your weird threads.Biggest problem to communicate with is your wife, as you've taught her baby Germish.

Poor sirchai

All that school and still only the most superficial appreciation of why we gringos feel compelled to poot mak.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Neeranam]

I've found recently, after 13 years marriage that communication is more difficult.

We spoke in Thai all the time when married, she started learning English. When kids came, I started speaking English to her. My Thai got worse. Now she talks to me in Thai and I answer in English. Sometimes I can't be bothered speaking Thai. Sometimes I can't be bothered speaking to her. One thing I often say is "Yah Jom" and she can't speak Isarn very well, not being a native. Yah Jom is Isarn for Yah Bon.

[benalibina]

I've found recently, after 13 years marriage that communication is more difficult.

We spoke in Thai all the time when married, she started learning English. When kids came, I started speaking English to her. My Thai got worse. Now she talks to me in Thai and I answer in English. Sometimes I can't be bothered speaking Thai. Sometimes I can't be bothered speaking to her. One thing I often say is "Yah Jom" and she can't speak Isarn very well, not being a native. Yah Jom is Isarn for Yah Bon.

Stay clear from the Marriage&Divorce forum.

[wym]

You wrote, "We don't come to Thailand looking for intellectual stimulation." Nothing wrong with the comment but you should not have assumed you had the authority to speak for anyone but yourself.

Ballocks, forums like these are for the (relatively) free exchange of ideas and POV.

If anyone disagrees - actually traveled to Thailand primarily to engage the local ladies in intelligent conversation - then they are free to speak up.

If anyone, you are the one assuming unwarranted authority trying to dictate how/what I may write; but do please feel free to contribute something of substance to the dialogue.

or,

Feel free to make me disappear with the forum's ignore function. . .

[spidermike007]

Basic communication is one thing, learning how to discuss issues, and break down problems and find solutions is quite another. Most Thai people will be ANYTHING to avoid looking inside. Introspection is simply not part of their culture. It may force them to take responsibility, say they are sorry, or even worse, admit they are part of the problem! So, within a year or so, I simply told her if she wanted to continue avoiding communication about real issues, I was going to leave. The relationship was not going to work if we could not solve our problems like adults do. She was motivated enough, and as painful as it was, she began to respond to my need to communicate on a deeper level. So, far it has worked. But, you have to make them aware that this is a make or break kind of area of the relationship. Most will avoid confrontation, deeper communication, or accepting blame for problems or issues. The whole concept of "face" is a tremendous form of cultural weakness, and cowardice, that allows them to avoid any introspection. It is a boil on the face of Asia, and prevents personal and spiritual growth.

You speak for yourself. Not the face of Asia.

Thanks for the advice. Just calling it as I see it. Believe me, I am not the only one who has made observations like this.

[dighambara]

About 30 seconds. After 10 years+ she still doesn't speak English, but the kids do.

[kandi]

I still have difficulties understanding how people start a relationship or even marry someone they can't even communicate with. How much can you expect from a relationship if you can't even express your basic thoughts? Have these people given up already with their lives?

[Spoonman]

I still have difficulties understanding how people start a relationship or even marry someone they can't even communicate with. How much can you expect from a relationship if you can't even express your basic thoughts? Have these people given up already with their lives?

Me and the missus communicate using the universal language of loooove.

[thailiketoo]

You wrote, "We don't come to Thailand looking for intellectual stimulation." Nothing wrong with the comment but you should not have assumed you had the authority to speak for anyone but yourself.

Ballocks, forums like these are for the (relatively) free exchange of ideas and POV.

If anyone disagrees - actually traveled to Thailand primarily to engage the local ladies in intelligent conversation - then they are free to speak up.

If anyone, you are the one assuming unwarranted authority trying to dictate how/what I may write; but do please feel free to contribute something of substance to the dialogue.

or,

Feel free to make me disappear with the forum's ignore function. . .

The captain of the football team says we. The general of the Army says we. The president of the company or country says we. You are just an anonymous poster on an internet forum. You speak for no one but yourself. You don't get to say we.

[kandi]

I still have difficulties understanding how people start a relationship or even marry someone they can't even communicate with. How much can you expect from a relationship if you can't even express your basic thoughts? Have these people given up already with their lives?

Me and the missus communicate using the universal language of loooove.

Most people who say that and also "acts are stronger than words" or things like that only use it as an excuse for themselves. Humans are a social and communicative species, you can't tell me you're more happy with a woman you can't understand than one you do understand. Sorry for being direct.

[laislica]

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.
Lao-Tzu

[thailiketoo]

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

Lao-Tzu

Mastering font size is even better.

[laislica]

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

Lao-Tzu

Mastering font size is even better.

5 5 5 5 5

[onionluke]

You wrote, "We don't come to Thailand looking for intellectual stimulation." Nothing wrong with the comment but you should not have assumed you had the authority to speak for anyone but yourself.

Ballocks, forums like these are for the (relatively) free exchange of ideas and POV.

If anyone disagrees - actually traveled to Thailand primarily to engage the local ladies in intelligent conversation - then they are free to speak up.

If anyone, you are the one assuming unwarranted authority trying to dictate how/what I may write; but do please feel free to contribute something of substance to the dialogue.

or,

Feel free to make me disappear with the forum's ignore function. . .

The captain of the football team says we. The general of the Army says we. The president of the company or country says we. You are just an anonymous poster on an internet forum. You speak for no one but yourself. You don't get to say we.

And neither do we .

[wym]

The captain of the football team says we. The general of the Army says we. The president of the company or country says we. You are just an anonymous poster on an internet forum. You speak for no one but yourself. You don't get to say we.

Actually we do, just watch us. We outnumber you (pl.) as well, and all of us agree in our opinion of your attempt to stifle our freedom of expression.

BTW are you vertically challenged? I detect a bit of the martinet in your tone. . .

[HooHaa]

Imagine, you would have learned thai language to its perfection, what content would you discuss with your wife ?

The permanent question about what feed her with as next or noodle-soup discussions ?

Defending from charges to be a kiniau when not giving her all your assets ?

The butterfly discussion ?

and so on...

it would seem to me that the shortcomings there can be ascribed to the particular choice of wife, not the entire language, culture and population.

[HooHaa]

lol.

That's funny.

The reaction from the person who took it so seriously is almost funnier.

Yes it was funnier, so IMHO not sure at all it was taken seriously.

If you had reading comprehension, you would have realised that I did take it seriously.

Is peadophilia a subject to joke or make snide comments about? No? Well, neither is spousal abuse or domestic violence.

Someone who thinks it funny to joke about slapping his partner is probably chauvanistic and certainly immature. Add to it a penis reference and the immaturity and chauvanism is confirmed.

It reminds me of a recent now-locked thread wherein a poster responded (aptly) "Simple the westerners involved, match the woman you mention, a perfect match."

Low class men get with low class women.

I despise all 3 of you who think it is funny.

I've said my bit, but bring it on if you want to take this further. Lets see whose reasoning and communication skills are better.

you have really run with this.

slapping her?

far from a suggestion or acceptance of violence it was humour, no matter how juvenile or puerile. I was amused but could see how your mileage may vary.

in fact i read it as ironic - it is likely the member making the joke would lose that organ to the ducks if he actually attempted slaaping the wife across the forehead with his junk.

furthermore, there are some who consider such activities foreplay, but i dont think are ready for that.

So get off your high horse, stop reading selectively for insult.

as for taking it further you are not worth the effort, and argument with you on this matter would be like arguing creationism vs evolution - you have one point of view, and while I am willing to admit I could envision alternate contexts where such humour could be construed as support for domestic violence, you would be unwilling to accept it as a simple (in all senses of the word) jest.

perhaps you would be better served heading out today to save the world.

by the way, the gentleman's name was Chauvin, not Chauvan.

I point this out not because i am a grammar or spelling nazi, but because I suspect you trot the term out often and I would hate to see your argument further weakened by the fact you are unclear as to the spelling and origins of a favoured accusation.

Edited March 30, 2014 by HooHaa

[Donnie Brasco]

My gal reads, writes and speaks passable English, Bkk Thai, various Isaan dialects and understands Lao.

Her interest in politics and economics have visceral origins.

She appreciates my interest in geo-politics and understands how all this stuff "nests"

She is following the current domestic political conversation with great interest.

I am a history buff and a political junkie.

We have long conversations about that stuff.

Neither of us cares a bit about sport although we occasionally find sports highlights (golf, tennis, a beautiful soccer goal, beautiful to watch. We watch political dramas. Scandal. House of Cards US. True Detective. Twenty-four. Good scripts are important. We discuss the plots of these series, how the dramatic structure of a TV series differs from that if a Movie.

We have long conversations about these things as well.

We discuss news coverage because that is an interest I have.

I listen intently as she explains various life complications she has surmounted. She has explained her theories on child rearing. "The Kid" is proof positive of her skill at this. She could give seminars. She could have raised FIVE.

She keeps a record (ledger) of every baht she spends. She has a financial plan for The Kid's final Uni year and a start up year after graduation.

The Kid has no student debt, has good grades and she respects her Mom.

We talk about this stuff too.

We have also discussed the viability of a small start-up as well.

We discuss aspects of the Thai character, culture and history.

Quantum theory is out. The structure of reality is out. Relativism vs absolutism is on from time to time.

These conversations are as good as conversations I have had with anyone else.

Oh yeah. We have the occasional doozy of a verbal battle.

No sulking. No breakage. No blackmail.

Just "get it out and burn it off."

Thirteen years.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[Tchooptip]

well, ... there are some more and some less important languages available to learn in the world, english, spain, chinese, russian, ...

Imagine, you would have learned thai language to its perfection, what content would you discuss with your wife ?

The permanent question about what feed her with as next or noodle-soup discussions ?

Defending from charges to be a kiniau when not giving her all your assets ?

The butterfly discussion ?

and so on...

is it really worth learning a language for such important conversations ?

would your time probably be better invested in learning one of the languages mentioned above instead ?

As presumably you are the paying part of your relationship, do you need to learn the language of the sponsored part or vice versa ?

To all the Thai-addicts: Dont be angry - only some thoughts...

As presumably you are the paying part of your relationship, do you need to learn the language of the sponsored part or vice versa ?

only some (selfish and pedantic ) thoughts...

[Tchooptip]

5

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.

Lao-Tzu

Mastering font size is even better.

5 5 5 5 5

5 5 5 5 5 5

[thailiketoo]

The captain of the football team says we. The general of the Army says we. The president of the company or country says we. You are just an anonymous poster on an internet forum. You speak for no one but yourself. You don't get to say we.

Actually we do, just watch us. We outnumber you (pl.) as well, and all of us agree in our opinion of your attempt to stifle our freedom of expression.

BTW are you vertically challenged? I detect a bit of the martinet in your tone. . .

Martinet? Me. Tis you who are using the royal we and I don't see a list of people you speak for yet. Is it coming?

[Jip99]

Basic communication is one thing, learning how to discuss issues, and break down problems and find solutions is quite another. Most Thai people will be ANYTHING to avoid looking inside. Introspection is simply not part of their culture. It may force them to take responsibility, say they are sorry, or even worse, admit they are part of the problem! So, within a year or so, I simply told her if she wanted to continue avoiding communication about real issues, I was going to leave. The relationship was not going to work if we could not solve our problems like adults do. She was motivated enough, and as painful as it was, she began to respond to my need to communicate on a deeper level. So, far it has worked. But, you have to make them aware that this is a make or break kind of area of the relationship. Most will avoid confrontation, deeper communication, or accepting blame for problems or issues. The whole concept of "face" is a tremendous form of cultural weakness, and cowardice, that allows them to avoid any introspection. It is a boil on the face of Asia, and prevents personal and spiritual growth.

You speak for yourself. Not the face of Asia.

Thanks for the advice. Just calling it as I see it. Believe me, I am not the only one who has made observations like this.

I will add my support to what you say. This is based not just on my situation but on many relationships that I have seen.

I didn't choose my partner for intellectual conversation - I can get that from a whole host of expat friends if/when I need it

The characteristics that Thais are often so proud of - mai bpen, greng jai, Thai rak Thai, 'face' etc etc all prevent open, meaningful fault-free conversation.

i applaud spidermike for tackling the issue and resolving it satisfactorily. I suspect I may have that challenge ahead of me.

[Rimmer]

Uncalled for inflammatory remark removed