Just kinda on a bummer, married life.

[blazes]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

I pull more than she does. And you're right, I am dreamy eyed--the world in rose colored lenses really really does describe me--but that's just me. God damn the cynics on this forum. It's addicting to read how misreable some of you are. I need to stop, it's like a guilty pleasure. MONEY IS GOOOOOD Money is God is the motto for those people who need to worry about money, good luck chap.

You "pull in" more than she does. One thing missing from this meandering thread is: what (approx) do you, yourself, have to live on, bearing in mind that ALL farangs are immensely rich compared to your average (non hi-so) Thai pooying. Even a pensioner from Liverpool or Los Angeles is way ahead.

So, if money is not an issue, why don't you buy or rent a house v close to her place of work????? Or IS money an issue? And you have to find the cheapest place possible to bed down in?

You haven't made that plain in seeking the advice of all the agony aunts and uncles on ThaiVisa.

One final word: money (or the lack of it) destroys most marriages (even when they survive for 50 years).

Money is like sex: it's only important when you don't have enough.

[Scarpolo]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

I pull more than she does. And you're right, I am dreamy eyed--the world in rose colored lenses really really does describe me--but that's just me. God damn the cynics on this forum. It's addicting to read how misreable some of you are. I need to stop, it's like a guilty pleasure. MONEY IS GOOOOOD Money is God is the motto for those people who need to worry about money, good luck chap.

You "pull in" more than she does. One thing missing from this meandering thread is: what (approx) do you, yourself, have to live on, bearing in mind that ALL farangs are immensely rich compared to your average (non hi-so) Thai pooying. Even a pensioner from Liverpool or Los Angeles is way ahead.

So, if money is not an issue, why don't you buy or rent a house v close to her place of work????? Or IS money an issue? And you have to find the cheapest place possible to bed down in?

You haven't made that plain in seeking the advice of all the agony aunts and uncles on ThaiVisa.

One final word: money (or the lack of it) destroys most marriages (even when they survive for 50 years).

Money is like sex: it's only important when you don't have enough.

something is missing in this story.

no one lives apart that is married, and has a healthy marriage.

there is way too much room for the devil to work his magic and bust them apart, more than they are now.

if no husband there, she goes home to an empty place, and likes that?

I dont get it, and it does not sound supportive

[heyyoufarang]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

I pull more than she does. And you're right, I am dreamy eyed--the world in rose colored lenses really really does describe me--but that's just me. God damn the cynics on this forum. It's addicting to read how misreable some of you are. I need to stop, it's like a guilty pleasure. MONEY IS GOOOOOD Money is God is the motto for those people who need to worry about money, good luck chap.

You "pull in" more than she does. One thing missing from this meandering thread is: what (approx) do you, yourself, have to live on, bearing in mind that ALL farangs are immensely rich compared to your average (non hi-so) Thai pooying. Even a pensioner from Liverpool or Los Angeles is way ahead.

So, if money is not an issue, why don't you buy or rent a house v close to her place of work????? Or IS money an issue? And you have to find the cheapest place possible to bed down in?

You haven't made that plain in seeking the advice of all the agony aunts and uncles on ThaiVisa.

One final word: money (or the lack of it) destroys most marriages (even when they survive for 50 years).

Money is like sex: it's only important when you don't have enough.

Come on, man. Come on.... I am not rich by Western standards by any length, but, no, I do not have to worry about money. I know, seems strange. What's more is isn't frustrating that I am in my early thirties and have set myself up? Probably just going to piss you off and drawn out negative attention and disbelief. If I lied you would say I was lieing and if i told the truth you wouldn't believe me, so really what difference does it make.

[Scarpolo]

What were you thinking before you were married? What kind of "dreamy-eyed" plan did you have? Perhaps the problem was in the planning stage....and obviously still lingers there.... And lastly, where is the money coming from in your 'wonderful' relationship? Do you have the bulk of the money or does she? Money always dictates the relationship....of course there may be many who disagree and those same people will try to campaign for "love".....but try to remember.....this is thailand. Money is God. For those insulted by this reply....grow up and check out reality for a change.

I pull more than she does. And you're right, I am dreamy eyed--the world in rose colored lenses really really does describe me--but that's just me. God damn the cynics on this forum. It's addicting to read how misreable some of you are. I need to stop, it's like a guilty pleasure. MONEY IS GOOOOOD Money is God is the motto for those people who need to worry about money, good luck chap.

You "pull in" more than she does. One thing missing from this meandering thread is: what (approx) do you, yourself, have to live on, bearing in mind that ALL farangs are immensely rich compared to your average (non hi-so) Thai pooying. Even a pensioner from Liverpool or Los Angeles is way ahead.

So, if money is not an issue, why don't you buy or rent a house v close to her place of work????? Or IS money an issue? And you have to find the cheapest place possible to bed down in?

You haven't made that plain in seeking the advice of all the agony aunts and uncles on ThaiVisa.

One final word: money (or the lack of it) destroys most marriages (even when they survive for 50 years).

Money is like sex: it's only important when you don't have enough.

Come on, man. Come on.... I am not rich by Western standards by any length, but, no, I do not have to worry about money. I know, seems strange. What's more is isn't frustrating that I am in my early thirties and have set myself up? Probably just going to piss you off and drawn out negative attention and disbelief. If I lied you would say I was lieing and if i told the truth you wouldn't believe me, so really what difference does it make.

forget all that,

what doesnt make sense to me is why are you living so far away?

dont you want to be closer?

I know I would

[heyyoufarang]

My

Edited April 18, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[heyyoufarang]

@ Scarpolo--too many blocks to quote:

My wife grew up in a poor farming village. Her parents are outstanding freaking parents. They were poor but placed everything they had on their children's educations, now it is coming back to them in bunches. My wife is not hi-so. Last week we went to a mall and she saw some poor, 'out of place' Thais walking around. They looked uncomfortable and not really happy being in the mall. It stuck my wife in an interesting way--she started to cry for them. Pity is not really a positive trait show other people, but she cou;dn't help it. She was so frustrated with the condition of Thailand where not everyone has the same public image, nor the money to behave in such a way that draws respect from other Thais. I was floored. My heart sank for her. She was poor her whole life until 2 years ago, and flashed back as a result of seeing those other Thais. Her pride, sence of relaity, and empathy for people is so strong because of that earlier life she lived. I admire that, so very much.

That is not really a Hi-So trait. We're not Hi-So. I think there is an entitlement that goes with that lable. Anyway, that is the perception I see with regard to myself and my better half.

Edited April 18, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[Scarpolo]

I just dont know why you dont live with her, by her job, if it is the difference between seeing her every night, and not.

I guess anyone can do it, I dont think I could, or why be married?

Unless, you have to be where you are, I would want to be near my wife, especially, if it is a young marriage, and she works crazy long hours.

I would want to be there to help her, whether it was cooking, or just being there as her male support

[heyyoufarang]

I just dont know why you dont live with her, by her job, if it is the difference between seeing her every night, and not.

I guess anyone can do it, I dont think I could, or why be married?

Unless, you have to be where you are, I would want to be near my wife, especially, if it is a young marriage, and she works crazy long hours.

I would want to be there to help her, whether it was cooking, or just being there as her male support

I completely agree with you. I don't have a concrete answer for you. This is working out pretty good now. My wife knows that I would do well the town where she is, and she's right. I want to live in a city, she does too for that matter. I think coming here allows her a way to get away from work. There is nothing to do in her small town. Me being here provides a comfortalbe place to relax. I'm off for the day. Have a good one, feels hot out today.

[In Search of Space]

Lucky bugger, sorry mate no sympathy, would gladly swop with you. Mine lies on her arse all day watching TV

[Scarpolo]

I just dont know why you dont live with her, by her job, if it is the difference between seeing her every night, and not.

I guess anyone can do it, I dont think I could, or why be married?

Unless, you have to be where you are, I would want to be near my wife, especially, if it is a young marriage, and she works crazy long hours.

I would want to be there to help her, whether it was cooking, or just being there as her male support

I completely agree with you. I don't have a concrete answer for you. This is working out pretty good now. My wife knows that I would do well the town where she is, and she's right. I want to live in a city, she does too for that matter. I think coming here allows her a way to get away from work. There is nothing to do in her small town. Me being here provides a comfortalbe place to relax. I'm off for the day. Have a good one, feels hot out today.

hot in Thailand??...Nahhh

[tim armstrong]

1. Seriously suggest to your wife that you will move to her town, and watch closely the reaction.

2. As others have said married life is not all honeymoon, and you now have to get a routine that you both can live with.

3. Male problem - expecting your wife to meet all of your EMOTIONAL, as well as your sexual needs. YOU need friends to laugh with and talk to.

4. Thai perspective on husbands: You are not number one in her life- her family is and always will be. Takes time to adjust to this one

5. Learn Thai if you haven't already. It will give you something to do and relieve your paranoia.

6. Congratulate yourself on all the major life changes you have made in such a short space of time, and enjoy each day without endless analysis of the problems. Do stuff just for yourself.

7. Give your wife little presents like flowers, often. (Although the last time I gave my wife a rose she gave me a wicked smile and ate it !) Good Luck

[Scarpolo]

1. Seriously suggest to your wife that you will move to her town, and watch closely the reaction.

2. As others have said married life is not all honeymoon, and you now have to get a routine that you both can live with.

3. Male problem - expecting your wife to meet all of your EMOTIONAL, as well as your sexual needs. YOU need friends to laugh with and talk to.

4. Thai perspective on husbands: You are not number one in her life- her family is and always will be. Takes time to adjust to this one

5. Learn Thai if you haven't already. It will give you something to do and relieve your paranoia.

6. Congratulate yourself on all the major life changes you have made in such a short space of time, and enjoy each day without endless analysis of the problems. Do stuff just for yourself.

7. Give your wife little presents like flowers, often. (Although the last time I gave my wife a rose she gave me a wicked smile and ate it !) Good Luck

she ate the rose?

and,

this business of their family first, also means, no husband

[slipperylobster]

get a second one...just to fill in the gaps.

[Patsycat]

Seems like your bicycle club is more important than being close to your wife, who is actually working to become a doctor and is not hanging around in bars all night with whoever.

You sound like a whinging little boy who lost his toy.

Man up, pack up your bike or your skateboard or whatever - go rent an apartment near her work. Maybe even take a day out of your hobby and follow her round her work and see what she does and appreciate why she is so tired every night.... when SHE who has worked for 12 hours has to drive to come home to you.

Edited April 18, 2014 by Patsycat

[Showbags]

Perhaps she has a gik.

If not, at least letting her read this thread like you did...might have sewn some seeds for thought.

[heyyoufarang]

I thought it was spelled geek, oh well. A lot of assumptions are made here, guys. That's cool. Poor girl got rear-ended on her way over here today :-(

She's only had the car for a year now and has had several run-ins with other cars. I have told myself I will not buy a car. It's freaking stressful to drive, even being the passager I get all tense. Should I go back to America now because I can't acclimate to Thailand, and I don't and never will understand the subtle nuances between American and Thai driving culture. 555.

Edited April 18, 2014 by heyyoufarang

[Scarpolo]

I let the girl drive.

they know how to not kill the motorbikes,

[Mr Worldwide]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

Maybe. I'm not certain, but I think the OP said he sees his wife twice a week. I'd be a little suspicious of a Thai woman I was married to that was okay with that.

Like most things in Thailand nothing is as it seems. Most farang don't realise there in invariably a Thai boyfriend or gik hanging around in the background. This is hardly breaking news, most Thai ladies have a safety net. We tend to forget in the West that choice is something we can actually use and act upon. Many Thai girls cannot do this.

[Scarpolo]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

Maybe. I'm not certain, but I think the OP said he sees his wife twice a week. I'd be a little suspicious of a Thai woman I was married to that was okay with that.

Like most things in Thailand nothing is as it seems. Most farang don't realise there in invariably a Thai boyfriend or gik hanging around in the background. This is hardly breaking news, most Thai ladies have a safety net. We tend to forget in the West that choice is something we can actually use and act upon. Many Thai girls cannot do this.

Of course they can.

Thai girls have many options when it comes to men,

Invariably, they determine, for them, it isnt worth it, as after a certain age, dissapointment with the treatment gives way to despair.

Reading many profiles on Thai Friendly, Tagged, etc., I can see there are many who have given up, and desperately seek someone kind and established.

No different anywhere else, just the sheer numbers of available young women in Thailand, makes it a staggering proposition for them and they really need to be bringing something else to the table, other than their bodies

I didnt find any of the thai girls I was with to be great lovers,

nd the older one's treated me like I was the only man they touched in a decade, which made me feel like a hooker myself,

which may or not pay very well, after all, it is Thailand

A friend from Ft Lauderdale called today, he had just spent 90 minutes with a 22 year old from Columbia, total cost, out the door 4,500 Baht

from what I saw in Thailand, that is comparable, without the heat, pollution, motor bike maniacs and border runs

( I guess I wasnt there long enough to hear about buffaloes, but I did hear about Mom, a lot)

[Mr Worldwide]

Sir, I think you may have a major shock coming your way. Do you really want that?

The likelihood there is an ex knocking around. As long as you have a base and she has a reason to be away then the possibility is there. I wish you well, Sir, but protect your assets beginning now.

I wish you well sir, don't join the statistics.

[Datebayo]

Married or not, a farang will never be No.1 in a Thai women's life.

Like many have already said, there might be a gik in the background. It is so well hidden that the farang will not notice anything.

[benalibina]

Married or not, a farang will never be No.1 in a Thai women's life.

Like many have already said, there might be a gik in the background. It is so well hidden that the farang will not notice anything.

So well hidden......enlighten us (me).

Thanks.

[Mr Worldwide]

I thought it was spelled geek, oh well. A lot of assumptions are made here, guys. That's cool. Poor girl got rear-ended on her way over here today :-(

She's only had the car for a year now and has had several run-ins with other cars. I have told myself I will not buy a car. It's freaking stressful to drive, even being the passager I get all tense. Should I go back to America now because I can't acclimate to Thailand, and I don't and never will understand the subtle nuances between American and Thai driving culture. 555.

You make a lifestyle and future emotional decision based upon driving habits. That tells me your heart isn't really in it.

[foxteen]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

More like..possible 80%

[eldragon]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

Maybe. I'm not certain, but I think the OP said he sees his wife twice a week. I'd be a little suspicious of a Thai woman I was married to that was okay with that.

Like most things in Thailand nothing is as it seems. Most farang don't realise there in invariably a Thai boyfriend or gik hanging around in the background. This is hardly breaking news, most Thai ladies have a safety net. We tend to forget in the West that choice is something we can actually use and act upon. Many Thai girls cannot do this.

Of course they can.

Thai girls have many options when it comes to men,

Invariably, they determine, for them, it isnt worth it, as after a certain age, dissapointment with the treatment gives way to despair.

Reading many profiles on Thai Friendly, Tagged, etc., I can see there are many who have given up, and desperately seek someone kind and established.

No different anywhere else, just the sheer numbers of available young women in Thailand, makes it a staggering proposition for them and they really need to be bringing something else to the table, other than their bodies

I didnt find any of the thai girls I was with to be great lovers,

nd the older one's treated me like I was the only man they touched in a decade, which made me feel like a hooker myself,

which may or not pay very well, after all, it is Thailand

A friend from Ft Lauderdale called today, he had just spent 90 minutes with a 22 year old from Columbia, total cost, out the door 4,500 Baht

from what I saw in Thailand, that is comparable, without the heat, pollution, motor bike maniacs and border runs

( I guess I wasnt there long enough to hear about buffaloes, but I did hear about Mom, a lot)

There is absolutely a different standard of truth telling going on in this country. I cant begin to count the number of times a girl has told me she didn't say (or write) something she clearly said (or wrote) or that I'm "too serious" bc I believe something that's blatantly apparent. There is also an amazing number of women here that insist they don't have a bf, but eventually confess they do. They'll even brashly say something like, "Okay, fine, I do, but I'll get rid of him for a chance with you."

It's almost like a part of life in this country. I'd say to survive here, you have to assume half of what people are telling you is a lie or very exaggerated. Or just bad information. Sometimes is not an outright lie. Not to the Thais anyway. It's more like a very dangerous version of what we Americans call "bulls#!tting".

There seems to be less of this going on among well educated, financially stable Thais that have more or less always had everything they wanted or needed. Same in the west. Lying is an addictive strategy that one uses to get what they want or need. But I'd be very hesitant to trust a Thai girl in matters of love, or anything else. Even the desperate ones that have given up on finding a good Thai man. Remember lads, there's plenty of older Thai guys with money that would gladly have at it with mid to late thirties gf or wife. They're not all after the young ones.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Edited April 19, 2014 by eldragon

[benalibina]

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

Maybe. I'm not certain, but I think the OP said he sees his wife twice a week. I'd be a little suspicious of a Thai woman I was married to that was okay with that.

Like most things in Thailand nothing is as it seems. Most farang don't realise there in invariably a Thai boyfriend or gik hanging around in the background. This is hardly breaking news, most Thai ladies have a safety net. We tend to forget in the West that choice is something we can actually use and act upon. Many Thai girls cannot do this.

Of course they can.

Thai girls have many options when it comes to men,

Invariably, they determine, for them, it isnt worth it, as after a certain age, dissapointment with the treatment gives way to despair.

Reading many profiles on Thai Friendly, Tagged, etc., I can see there are many who have given up, and desperately seek someone kind and established.

No different anywhere else, just the sheer numbers of available young women in Thailand, makes it a staggering proposition for them and they really need to be bringing something else to the table, other than their bodies

I didnt find any of the thai girls I was with to be great lovers,

nd the older one's treated me like I was the only man they touched in a decade, which made me feel like a hooker myself,

which may or not pay very well, after all, it is Thailand

A friend from Ft Lauderdale called today, he had just spent 90 minutes with a 22 year old from Columbia, total cost, out the door 4,500 Baht

from what I saw in Thailand, that is comparable, without the heat, pollution, motor bike maniacs and border runs

( I guess I wasnt there long enough to hear about buffaloes, but I did hear about Mom, a lot)

There is absolutely a different standard of truth telling going on in this country. I cant begin to count the number of times a girl has told me she didn't say (or write) something she clearly said (or wrote) or that I'm "too serious" bc I believe something that's blatantly apparent. There is also an amazing number of women here that insist they don't have a bf, but eventually confess they do. They'll even brashly say something like, "Okay, fine, I do, but I'll get rid of him for a chance with you."

It's almost like a part of life in this country. I'd say to survive here, you have to assume half of what people are telling you is a lie or very exaggerated. Or just bad information. Sometimes is not an outright lie. Not to the Thais anyway. It's more like a very dangerous version of what we Americans call "bulls#!tting".

There seems to be less of this going on among well educated, financially stable Thais that have more or less always had everything they wanted or needed. Same in the west. Lying is an addictive strategy that one uses to get what they want or need. But I'd be very hesitant to trust a Thai girl in matters of love, or anything else. Even the desperate ones that have given up on finding a good Thai man. Remember lads, there's plenty of older Thai guys with money that would gladly have at it with mid to late thirties gf or wife. They're not all after the young ones.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

You will get there young man..you will understand it 1 day.....On your last 2 lines.....not so i think....

[tim armstrong]

1. Seriously suggest to your wife that you will move to her town, and watch closely the reaction.

2. As others have said married life is not all honeymoon, and you now have to get a routine that you both can live with.

3. Male problem - expecting your wife to meet all of your EMOTIONAL, as well as your sexual needs. YOU need friends to laugh with and talk to.

4. Thai perspective on husbands: You are not number one in her life- her family is and always will be. Takes time to adjust to this one

5. Learn Thai if you haven't already. It will give you something to do and relieve your paranoia.

6. Congratulate yourself on all the major life changes you have made in such a short space of time, and enjoy each day without endless analysis of the problems. Do stuff just for yourself.

7. Give your wife little presents like flowers, often. (Although the last time I gave my wife a rose she gave me a wicked smile and ate it !) Good Luck

she ate the rose?

and,

this business of their family first, also means, no husband

Yes she knows very well what a red rose means, but has a unique and sometimes warped sense of humour, but I love her just the same.

[Scarpolo]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I think you may want to prepare yourself for the fact that your wife has someone else in her life.

Maybe. I'm not certain, but I think the OP said he sees his wife twice a week. I'd be a little suspicious of a Thai woman I was married to that was okay with that.

Like most things in Thailand nothing is as it seems. Most farang don't realise there in invariably a Thai boyfriend or gik hanging around in the background. This is hardly breaking news, most Thai ladies have a safety net. We tend to forget in the West that choice is something we can actually use and act upon. Many Thai girls cannot do this.

Of course they can.

Thai girls have many options when it comes to men,

Invariably, they determine, for them, it isnt worth it, as after a certain age, dissapointment with the treatment gives way to despair.

Reading many profiles on Thai Friendly, Tagged, etc., I can see there are many who have given up, and desperately seek someone kind and established.

No different anywhere else, just the sheer numbers of available young women in Thailand, makes it a staggering proposition for them and they really need to be bringing something else to the table, other than their bodies

I didnt find any of the thai girls I was with to be great lovers,

nd the older one's treated me like I was the only man they touched in a decade, which made me feel like a hooker myself,

which may or not pay very well, after all, it is Thailand

A friend from Ft Lauderdale called today, he had just spent 90 minutes with a 22 year old from Columbia, total cost, out the door 4,500 Baht

from what I saw in Thailand, that is comparable, without the heat, pollution, motor bike maniacs and border runs

( I guess I wasnt there long enough to hear about buffaloes, but I did hear about Mom, a lot)

There is absolutely a different standard of truth telling going on in this country. I cant begin to count the number of times a girl has told me she didn't say (or write) something she clearly said (or wrote) or that I'm "too serious" bc I believe something that's blatantly apparent. There is also an amazing number of women here that insist they don't have a bf, but eventually confess they do. They'll even brashly say something like, "Okay, fine, I do, but I'll get rid of him for a chance with you."

It's almost like a part of life in this country. I'd say to survive here, you have to assume half of what people are telling you is a lie or very exaggerated. Or just bad information. Sometimes is not an outright lie. Not to the Thais anyway. It's more like a very dangerous version of what we Americans call "bulls#!tting".

There seems to be less of this going on among well educated, financially stable Thais that have more or less always had everything they wanted or needed. Same in the west. Lying is an addictive strategy that one uses to get what they want or need. But I'd be very hesitant to trust a Thai girl in matters of love, or anything else. Even the desperate ones that have given up on finding a good Thai man. Remember lads, there's plenty of older Thai guys with money that would gladly have at it with mid to late thirties gf or wife. They're not all after the young ones.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

You will get there young man..you will understand it 1 day.....On your last 2 lines.....not so i think....

everything you state, is true and correct, within the confines of your experience, which is apparent

a superior sixth sense, is not needed,

just need "eyes" open,

in what I saw, the guys doing the pursuing werent offering enough security, which is on the mind of most 30+ females

wym, reviews this best

[heyyoufarang]

My wife and I are reading these now. Well, anyway, no comment. Carry on, carry on.

[Showbags]

^ what is she wearing ?