Greeting a Thai Lady, with a kiss.

[cgphuket]

If you want to kiss strangers, stay home. If you want to live in Thailand, respect the culture. Seriously, its not rocket science.

[KonaRain]

Hawaiians kiss everyone they really know..some at first meeting.. I've nailed a few ears..gotta stop that.. Thai women on meeting..well I think we've got it now..aloha

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[AlphMichaels]

I'm oft amused at these cultural QA posts. Why do so many never consider this and take some time to research and understand before they come? Cultural variability is part of what makes the world so grand! In this digital connected world we now all live in (If you're on this forum, you're connected) why do so many never consider these things and attempt a modest level of research prior?

Many good posts here on the topic. I've traveled the world and have always (even before the www) made a concerted effort to understand the culture of a land and its people before going there. Regarding your GF and her friends (the fact she brought them with is another cultural statement) it does not matter whether they're well-traveled or not. This is their country and the norms that apply here are valid because they are theirs and have likely been in place for a long time.

Learning these things before traveling to a new land is fun AND educational. Wouldn't it be grand if countries started requiring some form of culture education and a test on entry to be sure these things don't happen? Maybe we wouldn't see so many farang walking the streets (maow mak) in wife beaters or worse yet, no shirt at all. yep, another cultural taboo...., at least the "no shirt".

[sirineou]

I was told that kissing in public is not permitted with in Thai culture. Young people might do it, but certainly not respectable adults.

And certainly not with farangs unless you want people to think you are a bar girl.

I'm pretty sure people don't think I'm bar girl mate

You should really stop trotting around the place in that mini skirt mca. It's confusing for people.

I thnk I'm wearing it too tight mate because whenever I do I wake up with a sore arse....

I am reading this and I cracked up,, my wife sitting next to me looked at me like I lost my mind.

Most entertaining thread

[pbeieio]

T.I.T.S ,

Save it until you get home or to a place where you can be intimate and she feels as keen as you.

[canuckamuck]

Greetings with a kiss have always creeped me out, unless it was someone I was intimate with.

Thailand's Wai is vastly superior and can be done at a distance too, but I generally go with a slight nod and a smile.

[DP25]

Kiss greeting is weird and gross. I'm saddened to learn it has apparently caught on in the UK. Thankfully it hasn't back in the US yet, and it never will in Thailand.

OP listen to your wife and stop kissing strangers. They don't appreciate it. People that see you do it will think bad things about you and them. People at the airport probably thought all of them were your girlfriends

[neverdie]

I am reading this and I cracked up,, my wife sitting next to me looked at me like I lost my mind.

Most entertaining thread

That's what TVF is best used for, comical relief IMO. Some folk on here get very serious indeed.

My wife long ago stopped looking at me like I've lost my mind, she accepts it as a fact now

This has indeed been an interesting thread although I am no wiser as to why people want to greet with a kiss. Can you imagine where some of those lips have been !

[sdanielmcev]

My gf greeted me at the airport with one of the most passionate kisses I've ever had. In front of friends and family. She said later we don't kiss in public.

As for the cheek kiss, done properly, you don't let the lips touch the cheek. Gosh, I must be talking to heathens.

[Estrada]

I have worked with Greeks in the Middle East and Romania. Most of them roll in to work after a night on the Ouzo and insist on kissing me on both cheeks with their ultra sharp morning stubble. (Thankfully my face not the others). No wonder the ladies were put off.

In Thai culture, girls do not kiss, they "sniff" your cheeks.

I am not sure of the origins of this piece of Thai culture, but I think it maybe they are trying to check out if you have another ladies perfume on you.

Wherever I go I always check out what is correct in the local culture.

[sirineou]

I am reading this and I cracked up,, my wife sitting next to me looked at me like I lost my mind.

Most entertaining thread

That's what TVF is best used for, comical relief IMO. Some folk on here get very serious indeed.

My wife long ago stopped looking at me like I've lost my mind, she accepts it as a fact now

This has indeed been an interesting thread although I am no wiser as to why people want to greet with a kiss. Can you imagine where some of those lips have been !

Here here Brother , people do take themselves way too seriously.

I wonder what Costas would think when he wakes up and sees what we'v done with his thread?

Teaches him right to go to sleep and leave a thread unattended in the general forum

[KonKorat]

Same thing happened to me,my new Thai girlfriend at the time was waiting for me at the airport in Bangkok and i went to greet her with a kiss,as i went to lay one on her,she said no,cannot do this in Thailand,is not nice to do in front of people,you can kiss me when we go to hotel room.She said it is ok to hold hands and have my arm around her in public but cannot kiss.We have been together over 5 years and i still follow that rule with her.

[KonKorat]

I have worked with Greeks in the Middle East and Romania. Most of them roll in to work after a night on the Ouzo and insist on kissing me on both cheeks with their ultra sharp morning stubble. (Thankfully my face not the others). No wonder the ladies were put off.

In Thai culture, girls do not kiss, they "sniff" your cheeks.

I am not sure of the origins of this piece of Thai culture, but I think it maybe they are trying to check out if you have another ladies perfume on you.

Wherever I go I always check out what is correct in the local culture.

with the Greeks,you are talking about the cheeks on your face or your butt cheeks,i would not want anyman especially a Greek near my butt cheeks.

[SoiBiker]

contribute to both cultures. When I meet a Thai friend, I first WAI to him/her . . .then include a western greeting. If I know the Thai friend long enough, it will be a hug and a two cheek kiss (french kiss). if he/she is a social aquaintance, it's shaking hands after the WAI.

Learning to tone/subtone your WAI, is important. If your initial WAI has not been appropiate, all the cheek kissing or the hugs or the hand shaking that follows to underline your western culture, is for the clowns

You greet your friends with a french kiss?

[slipperylobster]

Ok for women....they just pretend to look shocked. Most of them probably fantasize about jumping in bed with a good kisser.

One thing I have learned......women are unpredictable, but a little nibble on the back of the neck fixes all that.

Really sucks to have men kiss me...or I them.

Culture or not...There are some superlative actions that render culture..moot.

Edited May 3, 2014 by slipperylobster

[stickylies]

occasionally i kiss my male neighbour when he cooked me yet another great meal... sure it's not common but then he's often fed up with common thai customs, which explains why he's my friend

[nanapong]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

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Well that's just your good old British stiff upper lip old chap. Toodle pip and all that crap.

[SoiBiker]

Ok for women....they just pretend to look shocked. Most of them probably fantasize about jumping in bed with a good kisser.

One thing I have learned......women are unpredictable, but a little nibble on the back of the neck fixes all that.

Really sucks to have men kiss me...or I them.

Culture or not...There are some superlative actions that render culture..moot.

Sexism and homophobia in the same post. Bravo.

[villagefarang]

Not trying to have a dig here, but it depends on how "world wise" the ladies are, if they have come off a farm or never travelled out of Thailand, then what they have said is correct, however I have Thai lady friends, who are genuinely friends who were educated over seas and have travelled a lot and the kiss on the cheek thing in public is not a big deal and on some occasions its actually them who will initiate the cheek kiss thing

This first response was probably the best in my opinion. In our circles, I am on the receiving end more often than not. It is sad really, that so many on here seem to view physical contact as somehow dirty or disgusting. While my wife's hugs and kisses are extended to both sexes, I tend to confine mine to the fairer sex.

[ameadi]

Quite agree with Costas. Una faccia una razza

[slipperylobster]

Ok for women....they just pretend to look shocked. Most of them probably fantasize about jumping in bed with a good kisser.

One thing I have learned......women are unpredictable, but a little nibble on the back of the neck fixes all that.

Really sucks to have men kiss me...or I them.

Culture or not...There are some superlative actions that render culture..moot.

Sexism and homophobia in the same post. Bravo.

Thanks...I do the best I can, to hide my insecurities...

and sometimes, well... I just fail to achieve the lower standards I have set for myself.

But alas....it sounds good...to those who admire the Valentinos and Don Juans

[rixalex]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ XA using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well that's just your good old British stiff upper lip old chap. Toodle pip and all that crap.

Yes quite so. I have at various times tried to dispense with my stiff upper lip. Went through a spell of experimenting the American guys bear hug thing, when meeting mates that i hadn't seen for a long time, but the truth is, it just felt awkward and forced. Whilst the mere handshake doesn't really convey the closeness i feel for certain good chums, the bear hug goes too far in the other direction.

The good thing though about the British stiff upper lip is that it does make one blend in very well here in Thailand, as they have their own variation on the stiff upper lip, that's not a million miles away from ours i think.

[stickylies]

Ok for women....they just pretend to look shocked. Most of them probably fantasize about jumping in bed with a good kisser.

One thing I have learned......women are unpredictable, but a little nibble on the back of the neck fixes all that.

Really sucks to have men kiss me...or I them.

Culture or not...There are some superlative actions that render culture..moot.

Sexism and homophobia in the same post. Bravo.

just another day on ThaiVisa ;-)

[ravip]

People are raised with differing customs.

There is no such thing called a 'correct custom' or a 'wrong custom' nor a 'superior custom' or an 'inferior custom'.

It is when one tries to enforce ones custom to another that it becomes 'wrong'.

Also, hugging and kissing an unknown person could be quite repulsive him/her.

Just my humble opinion.

[Thaijack2014]

I travel in Asia for many years and strangely enough was married to a Brazilian for nearly 25 years. One of the things that troubled me was the kissing of strangers in Brazil. After talking for a while in a shop, my wife kissed the clerk on her cheeks when she left.

Call me cold, but if I can avoid it, I will. And therefore I'm happy to live in Thailand, where touching strangers is out of the order. I loved Japan, where a bow is enough. I do kiss or hug, but only to close friends and if I didn't see them for weeks or months or when we won't see eachother for certain for a while.

I don't like kissing upon every meeting. It's overrated.

Ok, that's my story. Coming to this Greeting of Greek Member.... once again it prooves that we take ourselves to other countries and find it strange that milions of other people don't do the same like you do in your own country.

I think it would be a great idea if people start learning about the habits of others and try to accept them (in their environment).

[DrTuner]

Puckering is the worst form of greeting besides handshakes, best way for bacteria to travel. Most Asians got it right, no bodily contact.

I like a small wave, if not that, a nod. No need to stick your tongue down some hairy fellows gullet.

[stickylies]

Also, hugging and kissing an unknown person could be quite repulsive him/her.

Just my humble opinion.

strangers can get a friendly nod, nothing more nothing less....

[harber8]

Butt-cheek??

[tracker1]

Maybe a peck might be tolerated you have to learn to control that tongue when you go for it !!!

[HUAHIN62]

Not showing affection in public between people of the opposite sex is not a Thai thing but an Asian custom. The customary Thai rule according to my knowledge is that a husband may "hom" his wife and only his wife in public. Hom is an action whereby you put your lips close to the cheek of your wife and then suck air in through your mouth, making a soft sound. The custom is that you don't touch any other woman, not by huging, hand shake or kiss. For the first year my wife didn't want to hold hands in public, but now she is okay with that. In our travels through Asia (even in Japan and S Korea) you don't often see affection shown in public.