Just back from my 3rd visit to thailand

[gopis108]

Yes the weathers great and we have cheap rents and food but the longer you stay you will inevitably realize that that is is basically all that is great in Thailand.

[stickylies]

Enjoy it while it lasts ...

and keep the bullshit detector ON 24/7.

[steve down under]

To give you guys a little background info, im 45 and ive been through the marraige grinder in the west, done the scottish lass relationship and that lasted 8 years before going wrong.

Wan is 38, never married, owns and runs her own small restaurant and cafe bar from home where she lives with her parents, who also own land that they farm.

We met originally online 2 years ago as I was trying to find products and sources to help my daughter start her ebay shop, I went over to visit her a few months later where I spent a lot of time photographing leather handbags etc for my daughter and eating at wans restaurant

After watching wan and her helper work round each other for a few days, being a kitchen fitter, I re designed part of her very basic kitchen to make it easier for them to work at the same time and rebuilt her preparation area slightly larger and with shelves to accommodate the amount of ingredients they use, her father being an old carpenter had all the tools I needed to do this and wan bought the materials at a local builders merchants

My second visit was to build her a small cafe bar beside her kitchen in the front of her house to expand her business, again we sat down together and discussed and drew plans up, worked out materials which she then bought and over a period of 3 weeks I built her a cafe bar, as well as having free food and free accomodation the family took me for a long weekends stay at a resort in the mountains where I enjoyed good food, some stunning views of the surrounding countryside and more than a few whiskys with the father and brother in law

All in all apart from the car accident ive enjoyed myself over there, wan and I get on very well together, her parents are very nice people not terribly unbendingly old fashioned or religeous

all of the neighbors are losing their original apprehension and are becoming very open and genuinely friendly towards me now and everyone is eager to help me learn their language and give me small tasters of different foods, fruits etc

But, and I feel I must stress this, right from the start ive made it clear to everyone that im just a normal working class scotsman, im not some rich farang who has money to throw about everywhere

after reading this post it seems to e that so far the op has not had to put his hand in his pocket apart from buying himself some tools to enable him to do some of the work ! as he states that his girlfriend has purchased the materials needed for the construction and his input has been in design and some helping out on the building, So maybe all you cynics should maybe just give him a a bit of credit for hopefully finding someone who doesnt seem so far to regard him as the walking Farang ATM that so many Thais do !

[kennypowers]

The fact is, your GF isn't and has never been a hooker seeking men twice her age to marry in the hope that she can manipulate him out of all his money and feed him enough salty/sugary foods and beer to help him on the way to a quick death so that she and her family can get the inheritance.

Many guys find it really hard to cope with the fact that their wrinkly old Gary Glitter esque balls fell into this trap. They hate seeing another foreigner truly happy with a Thai woman roughly his own age who is independent through education and a good job or her own business, etc,.

All the best.

[kinmaew]

sounds good, I have found people in the provinces to be very kind and hospitable; perhaps the less you have the better.

[orpheus454]

In my opinion there's hardly a better way to get to know people than getting in and doing a bit of work together, and your building projects sound like just the ticket.

Well done and good luck to ya...

[geriatrickid]

I'm a cynic, but I rather enjoyed this story. Honestly, it's nice to see someone happy.

There's a take-away, and it seems to be a common theme of these happy stories;

- lady is gainfully occupied

- the man has some skills and kept himself busy.

It seems the unhappiness start when Miss Thang doesn't have something substantive to do and her beau Mr. Farang spends all his time siting in a bar or in transit to a bar, or perhaps going for the special at Sizzler. It seems the happy people keep busy, either building something or working in the garden or raising a family or volunteering or working a job.

[Dancealot]

Heres a couple of pics of the car after th accident

What's that? The latest Honda Mess?

Joking aside. Good you didn't get hurt.

[DLock]

Good luck Rik. Great story, lacking in any of the usual "tells".

Sounds like you had a great time and were well regarded and respected.

Pity about the car, but glad no-one was seriously hurt. Seat belts and air bags worked I guess.

Keep us informed as it's great to read positive stories instead of the usual stuff.

Stay grounded.

[wineman]

Turn your back and run. But if you don't, I wish you luck anyway.

[Suradit69]

I hope you earn a lot of money between now and then mate,the" prayer room', is only the start believe me.

No thread would be complete without a comment from someone who's had his fingers burned and naturally assumes everyone is as clueless & hopeless as he is.

To the O/P enjoy the experience and don't listen to "advice" from the losers. Assuming you're a reasonably intelligent & sensible adult who does not live in some court-mandated assisted living facility, you'll do fine. At times the whining & whingeing from the socially challenged here at the hub of the social inept will be overwhelming, but you've probably encountered the same marginal types wherever you've lived before.

[whiteman]

All the best glad you all walked away from the crash.

At 45 you are old enough to see any warning signs that you would have seen from your Scottish marrage b4 it went belly up.

Once bitten so they say. I wish you a really happy life in Thailand.

I have been here 10+ years and I can tell you it was one of the best moves in my life I have made to come and live here.

Just make sure you stick to YOUR budget and always have a fighting fund and health cover.

Edited May 6, 2014 by whiteman

[marko kok prong]

I hope you earn a lot of money between now and then mate,the" prayer room', is only the start believe me.

No thread would be complete without a comment from someone who's had his fingers burned and naturally assumes everyone is as clueless & hopeless as he is.

To the O/P enjoy the experience and don't listen to "advice" from the losers. Assuming you're a reasonably intelligent & sensible adult who does not live in some court-mandated assisted living facility, you'll do fine. At times the whining & whingeing from the socially challenged here at the hub of the social inept will be overwhelming, but you've probably encountered the same marginal types wherever you've lived before.

You seem to be the one doing the assuming here,i have already apologised to the op if some of my comments were overly sarcastic,if you had read the whole thread you would have seen that,yet you assume i have had my fingers burnt,am clueless and hopeless,so by the way how is the view from your ivory tower.

[zyphodb]

sounds great, Iv'e lived here in the sticks for 2 1/2 years or so, haven't a lot of money but have a family, happiness & a far better lifestyle than I could get in the UK, ok Iv'e gotta start teaching in the next year or so but at least I can work here, there's nothing workwise at all in the UK for me so it's all win win as far as I'm concerned... good luck mate..

[laislica]

Super story, thanks for sharing it.

It could be a good idea to learn something about Thai culture and to that end see if you can get your hands on a copy of a book called Thailand Fever.

(It has a website)

(It sounds to me that you have caught the fever LOL, maybe that book will really help you progress smoothly)

Online you can download for free an eBook by Stephen Leather - Private Dancer.

It will help you understand the "bar girl thing".

I only arrived in Thailand two years or so ago, read both books, then met and married my girl!

We spend our time half half between Thailand and Spain.

I am of course a lot older than you, retired and on a reasonable pension.

Best thing I ever did.

I would like to have done it sooner but if I´m honest, I was not ready, there was a lot of stuff I needed to learn (about life and relationships) first.

Good luck with everything.

To the pure, all things are pure!

[je777je]

Heres a couple of pics of the car after th accidentIMAG0688.jpgIMAG0694.jpgIMAG0687.jpgIMAG0689.jpgIMAG0690.jpg

Wow what a crash. Did you take the pictures with the camera before the crash destroyed the camera? Well done.

[je777je]

I hope you earn a lot of money between now and then mate,the" prayer room', is only the start believe me.

No thread would be complete without a comment from someone who's had his fingers burned and naturally assumes everyone is as clueless & hopeless as he is.

To the O/P enjoy the experience and don't listen to "advice" from the losers. Assuming you're a reasonably intelligent & sensible adult who does not live in some court-mandated assisted living facility, you'll do fine. At times the whining & whingeing from the socially challenged here at the hub of the social inept will be overwhelming, but you've probably encountered the same marginal types wherever you've lived before.

You seem to be the one doing the assuming here,i have already apologised to the op if some of my comments were overly sarcastic,if you had read the whole thread you would have seen that,yet you assume i have had my fingers burnt,am clueless and hopeless,so by the way how is the view from your ivory tower.

marko kok prong, you seem to make more sense here.

[je777je]

Super story, thanks for sharing it.

It could be a good idea to learn something about Thai culture and to that end see if you can get your hands on a copy of a book called Thailand Fever.

(It has a website)

(It sounds to me that you have caught the fever LOL, maybe that book will really help you progress smoothly)

Online you can download for free an eBook by Stephen Leather - Private Dancer.

It will help you understand the "bar girl thing".

I only arrived in Thailand two years or so ago, read both books, then met and married my girl!

We spend our time half half between Thailand and Spain.

I am of course a lot older than you, retired and on a reasonable pension.

Best thing I ever did.

I would like to have done it sooner but if I´m honest, I was not ready, there was a lot of stuff I needed to learn (about life and relationships) first.

Good luck with everything.

To the pure, all things are pure!

Stephen Leather - Private Dancer.

will help you understand the totally idiotic falang thing and the very reasonable "bar girl thing". Just my 2c.

[laislica]

Super story, thanks for sharing it.

It could be a good idea to learn something about Thai culture and to that end see if you can get your hands on a copy of a book called Thailand Fever.

(It has a website)

(It sounds to me that you have caught the fever LOL, maybe that book will really help you progress smoothly)

Online you can download for free an eBook by Stephen Leather - Private Dancer.

It will help you understand the "bar girl thing".

I only arrived in Thailand two years or so ago, read both books, then met and married my girl!

We spend our time half half between Thailand and Spain.

I am of course a lot older than you, retired and on a reasonable pension.

Best thing I ever did.

I would like to have done it sooner but if I´m honest, I was not ready, there was a lot of stuff I needed to learn (about life and relationships) first.

Good luck with everything.

To the pure, all things are pure!

Stephen Leather - Private Dancer.

will help you understand the totally idiotic falang thing and the very reasonable "bar girl thing". Just my 2c.

I agree with you.

Many problems are the result of misunderstanding whether it be the local or the farang..

I hoped to give him another avenue to learn the pro´s and con´s.

Learning is the key, to be forewarned is to be .....

If I had not been loaned a copy of Thailand Fever when I first arrived, I doubt I would have made such a success of my life with a Thai lady (and her huge family, and the trips to the many Wat´s, to know it´s fine that her two grown up sons come first - then other family members - then friends ....... etc. etc.and be perfectly happy with that!).

Thailand Fever actually taught me stuff about Western culture that I needed to know!

Without wishing to spoil the ending of Private Dancer, did you see that there was an incident in 2012 that looked as if it had been taken from the book?

[krisb]

Mate,could i ask you where did you build this prayer room as i have yet to see a thai house with such,or was it at the Wat[temple].

The buddha room.

Not uncommon.

[marko kok prong]

Mate,could i ask you where did you build this prayer room as i have yet to see a thai house with such,or was it at the Wat[temple].

The buddha room.

Not uncommon.

Okay,i have just not personally come across one myself,but i have already apologised to the op,i realise now my comments were somewhat harsh,sarcastic and uncalled for,i am sorry for this and thanks Krisb,for your input,however no apologies to Suradit 69,maybe he practices the 69 on himself,as i am sure he would be into yoga,in his ivory tower.

[Rik325i]

Yoga in ivory towers, class, you just couldnt make this sh...t up lol

While I love it very much out there and the girlfriend and I get along really well, the family is really good to me etc, im still keeping my home in scotland for now im just about to embark on my own furniture building enterprise here and while I dont earn a fortune fitting kitchens at the moment, I enjoy my job and I have steady work which allows me to save for the future.

I did my tally ho, all guns blazing entry into relationships, marraige etc many many years ago, divorce..... been there, read the book and got the t shirt, messy breakup with kids, property, and the family dog, done that too, not in a hurry to repeat it lol

with my girlfriend and thailand im taking my time, im not in a hormone fuelled rush at my age and she understands what ive been through in the past and how I feel and doesnt pressure me in the slightest to get married or anything like that although she did ask me if this is part of my plan for the future

So for now im still looking at the possibility of moving there and settling down from all angles and ill need an up and running business there before I will even consider moving there full time, I just couldnt sit and do nothing all day, it would drive me insane

thanks for all the tips and advice guys and gals, and all the banter too lol

Rik

[fonsboy]

To give you guys a little background info, im 45 and ive been through the marraige grinder in the west, done the scottish lass relationship and that lasted 8 years before going wrong.

Wan is 38, never married, owns and runs her own small restaurant and cafe bar from home where she lives with her parents, who also own land that they farm.

We met originally online 2 years ago as I was trying to find products and sources to help my daughter start her ebay shop, I went over to visit her a few months later where I spent a lot of time photographing leather handbags etc for my daughter and eating at wans restaurant

After watching wan and her helper work round each other for a few days, being a kitchen fitter, I re designed part of her very basic kitchen to make it easier for them to work at the same time and rebuilt her preparation area slightly larger and with shelves to accommodate the amount of ingredients they use, her father being an old carpenter had all the tools I needed to do this and wan bought the materials at a local builders merchants

My second visit was to build her a small cafe bar beside her kitchen in the front of her house to expand her business, again we sat down together and discussed and drew plans up, worked out materials which she then bought and over a period of 3 weeks I built her a cafe bar, as well as having free food and free accomodation the family took me for a long weekends stay at a resort in the mountains where I enjoyed good food, some stunning views of the surrounding countryside and more than a few whiskys with the father and brother in law

All in all apart from the car accident ive enjoyed myself over there, wan and I get on very well together, her parents are very nice people not terribly unbendingly old fashioned or religeous

all of the neighbors are losing their original apprehension and are becoming very open and genuinely friendly towards me now and everyone is eager to help me learn their language and give me small tasters of different foods, fruits etc

But, and I feel I must stress this, right from the start ive made it clear to everyone that im just a normal working class scotsman, im not some rich farang who has money to throw about everywhere

You sound like a really nice guy . I wish you & your lady all the very best . Most of the advice on T.V. is well meant . God bless you both .

[thaiguzzi]

Well, my Scottish friend. Glad all went ok. But not trying to change your rose tinted glasses, but be aware that you could be deported and charged with working without a permit simply by doing garden work, even more so, doing construction work.

Just a kind word of advice.

Bullsh#it.

[i claudius]

Well, my Scottish friend. Glad all went ok. But not trying to change your rose tinted glasses, but be aware that you could be deported and charged with working without a permit simply by doing garden work, even more so, doing construction work.

Just a kind word of advice.

Bullsh#it.

Well the copper next door does not seem to worry when i do the garden or fix my car or sweep the road outside our house.

[mickjn]

Glad your here to tell the story that car is not to good.All the best

[neverdie]

To give you guys a little background info, im 45 and ive been through the marraige grinder in the west, done the scottish lass relationship and that lasted 8 years before going wrong.

Wan is 38, never married, owns and runs her own small restaurant and cafe bar from home where she lives with her parents, who also own land that they farm.

We met originally online 2 years ago as I was trying to find products and sources to help my daughter start her ebay shop, I went over to visit her a few months later where I spent a lot of time photographing leather handbags etc for my daughter and eating at wans restaurant

After watching wan and her helper work round each other for a few days, being a kitchen fitter, I re designed part of her very basic kitchen to make it easier for them to work at the same time and rebuilt her preparation area slightly larger and with shelves to accommodate the amount of ingredients they use, her father being an old carpenter had all the tools I needed to do this and wan bought the materials at a local builders merchants

My second visit was to build her a small cafe bar beside her kitchen in the front of her house to expand her business, again we sat down together and discussed and drew plans up, worked out materials which she then bought and over a period of 3 weeks I built her a cafe bar, as well as having free food and free accomodation the family took me for a long weekends stay at a resort in the mountains where I enjoyed good food, some stunning views of the surrounding countryside and more than a few whiskys with the father and brother in law

All in all apart from the car accident ive enjoyed myself over there, wan and I get on very well together, her parents are very nice people not terribly unbendingly old fashioned or religeous

all of the neighbors are losing their original apprehension and are becoming very open and genuinely friendly towards me now and everyone is eager to help me learn their language and give me small tasters of different foods, fruits etc

But, and I feel I must stress this, right from the start ive made it clear to everyone that im just a normal working class scotsman, im not some rich farang who has money to throw about everywhere

You sound like a really nice guy . I wish you & your lady all the very best . Most of the advice on T.V. is well meant . God bless you both .

Yeah, well said. Its nice to read a good thread with a positive vibe. So many sad sacks of s h i t at TVF with their anti-thai rants and political hogwash.

All the best Rik, may all the best health and happiness come to you and your lady.