Sleeping arrangements with GF and daughter

[bonobo]

My wife's 9-year-old niece came to live with us to be able to go to school in a place where teachers were not being killed. We set up the third bedroom for her child-appropriate furniture (flowers painted on bed, etc). Several times, though, when she was upset with her parents fighting (which started six months after she came to us), she would come into our room. She would fall asleep with my wife, then when I came in, we would lift her off the bed and onto a mattress on the floor as I was uncomfortable with three in the bed.

She has slept on the floor beside the bed a handful of times over the last year, all when upset about her home situation. The rest of the time, she is happy in her room with the tv and iPad.

One point, though: several posters have told the OP, or at least inferred, that he is breaking the law in their home countries. I don't think that is true. Merely sleeping is not illegal. Sexual activity is, of course, (and to respond to another poster, a person from the US, Australia, and probably other countries is breaking home-country laws even if he or she is not breaking laws in the country in which the action took place). And if there is a breakup, then I would think it would be difficult for a woman to accuse the man of impropriety simply because all slept in the same bed as the woman was there at the time as well.

Regardless, I won't sleep with a child as I am uncomfortable with it. If my wife's niece really needed to sleep with someone, worst case basis, i would leave her with my wife and sleep in another bed for the night.

[Choonpon]

You are the man of the house, give an ultimatium to sleep in another room or move out. Being too soft or accomodating will only add problems to yourself, in the future. You are being kind, but this eventually will cause a wider drift between your gf and you.

[thailiketoo]

You are the man of the house, give an ultimatium to sleep in another room or move out. Being too soft or accomodating will only add problems to yourself, in the future. You are being kind, but this eventually will cause a wider drift between your gf and you.

Does the man of the house have any more authority than the woman of the house? If so why?

[Chonburiram]

I've slept with my stepdaughter in the same bed sharing the same blanket, with and without her mother, in her student digs quite a few times. She (and I, her mother/father, the whole family, all our friends, every normal person in the world) would have found it strange, seeing me drive 500+ km to visit her and than waste money on a hotel room to spend the night there or sleep on the floor/sofa while there is a comfortable king size bed filling up nearly half of the room.

Unbelievable, but i could manage all this without walking around naked, show an erection or have intercourse with the missus in front of her - I must be special.

When she was younger, during a thunderstorm she would come and sleep with us ( most times because her 1 year older brother she shared the room with would not give "shelter" to her...)

[DrTuner]

I guess most of you sharing the bed don't sleep naked then. I do, and would never have it any other way. As much as I like to go commando and all, stepdaughters rolling on the top is a bit too much of a "family thing".

Luckily my wife & stepkids were westernized by my farang FIL before I met any of them, he'd already built a house and gone through the basics of care&feeding of a farang with the MIL.

[watcharacters]

Sleep on the sofa until the gf sorts it out....deny sexual privileges for as long as it takes.

Maybe this is what the GF has been hoping for

Ecco in this valley?

But this is nevertheless pretty good.

• "He/She who declared it blared it.
• He/She who observed it served it.
• He/She who detected it ejected it.
• He/She who said the rhyme did the crime.
• Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
• Whoever smelt it dealt it.
• Whoever denied it supplied it.
• The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.^[13]
• The smeller's the feller.
• He/She who inculpated promulgated.
• The one who said the verse just made the atmosphere worse.
• Whoever's poking fun is the smoking gun
• He/She who accuses blew the fuses.
• He/She who refuted it tooted it.
• He/She who pointed the finger pulled the trigger.
• He/She who articulated it particulated it.
• He/She who deduced it produced it.
• He/She who was a smart-ass has a fart-ass
• She who sniffed it biffed it.
• The slanderer made the gland error.
• He/She who eulogized it aerosolized it.
• Whoever makes the joke makes the ass smoke.
• He/She who rapped it cracked it.
• Whoever rebuts it cuts it.
• Whoever spoke it broke it.
• Whoever asked gassed.
• Whoever started farted.
• Whoever explained it ordained it.
• Whoever described it applied it.
• Whoever thunk it stunk it.
• Whoever resented it, presented it.
• Whoever accused it, diffused it.
• Whoever spoke the words is baking the turds.
• Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
• He/She who spoke it broke it.
• He/She who did the verse made it worse.
• He/She who Painted Fainted.
• The one who smelled is the one who expelled."

[Choonpon]

You are the man of the house, give an ultimatium to sleep in another room or move out. Being too soft or accomodating will only add problems to yourself, in the future. You are being kind, but this eventually will cause a wider drift between your gf and you.

Does the man of the house have any more authority than the woman of the house? If so why?

Who's paying the bills? It has always been husband being man of the house, mostly.

But nowadays there is an increasing number of guys willing to lay back and let the women pay the bills though.

[Thaiberius]

By letting a teen girl share your bed you are leaving yourself wide open to some very serious allegations. Peoples loyalties change over time and you could find yourself in the firing line years down the road. You will regret your indecision then.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You are the man of the house, give an ultimatium to sleep in another room or move out. Being too soft or accomodating will only add problems to yourself, in the future. You are being kind, but this eventually will cause a wider drift between your gf and you.

Does the man of the house have any more authority than the woman of the house? If so why?

Other way round, in Thailand, she owns the house, the foreign man doesn't.

He obeys or he leaves, which is a shame, as in many cases he paid for her house.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

By letting a teen girl share your bed you are leaving yourself wide open to some very serious allegations. Peoples loyalties change over time and you could find yourself in the firing line years down the road. You will regret your indecision then.

Doesn't matter where anyone sleeps, "He came into my room" works equally well in most countries, true or not.

[Gandtee]

By letting a teen girl share your bed you are leaving yourself wide open to some very serious allegations. Peoples loyalties change over time and you could find yourself in the firing line years down the road. You will regret your indecision then.

Doesn't matter where anyone sleeps, "He came into my room" works equally well in most countries, true or not.

In an ongoing court case in the UK against a well known celebrity accused of interfering with underage girls, evidence was given that the accused, 'Went up to her bedroom but I didn't think anything of it'. The inference being that something untoward could have happened. And the alleged offence took place nearly thirty years ago!

[David48]

By letting a teen girl share your bed you are leaving yourself wide open to some very serious allegations. Peoples loyalties change over time and you could find yourself in the firing line years down the road. You will regret your indecision then.

Doesn't matter where anyone sleeps, "He came into my room" works equally well in most countries, true or not.

In an ongoing court case in the UK against a well known celebrity accused of interfering with underage girls, evidence was given that the accused, 'Went up to her bedroom but I didn't think anything of it'. The inference being that something untoward could have happened. And the alleged offence took place nearly thirty years ago!

Agreed ... but that is UK case Law ... not applicable in Thailand.

[Scarpolo]

It amazes me the abject stupidity of the things I read from westerners in thailand

how about this one,

to the girl: you sleep in the room I rented for you, in the bed I bought you,

to the mother: you go sleep with her. then you come back to our bed,

if either doesnt like it,

stop paying the rent

move out alone

then first thing:

go visit a thai prison and ask how long they allow child molesters to breathe

then come back and thank all of us for waking you up to the very real danger of what you are doing

I dont care how good in bed your girlfriend is,

the next 5,000 women you meet, without putting your life at risk, will feel the exact same way,

even the ugly ones

Edited May 15, 2014 by Scarpolo

[socksy01]

Dude...for your own protection, you need to put a stop to this immediately. This situation is putting you in danger.

Yes I agree I am not comfortable with this and am working on getting her back into her own bedroom.

Any suggestions?

Her own room - buy a TV and DVD player so she can watch s*ite on TV like millions of others do.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

By letting a teen girl share your bed you are leaving yourself wide open to some very serious allegations. Peoples loyalties change over time and you could find yourself in the firing line years down the road. You will regret your indecision then.

Doesn't matter where anyone sleeps, "He came into my room" works equally well in most countries, true or not.

In an ongoing court case in the UK against a well known celebrity accused of interfering with underage girls, evidence was given that the accused, 'Went up to her bedroom but I didn't think anything of it'. The inference being that something untoward could have happened. And the alleged offence took place nearly thirty years ago!

It would be interesting to hear what possible evidence could be given to prove "He went up to her bedroom" after 30 years.

As I said earlier "He came into my room" works equally well, if he did, or he didn't.

[Scarpolo]

ANY THAI female, who makes an accusation,

will destroy the life of a foreigner, in moments.

the lifespan of an "ACCUSED" child molestor, ACCUSED, not proven,

would be how many days?

[ableguy]

My gfs ten year old niece stays with us often as we both love her very much, she sleeps on a mattress by the side of our bed, as at her home the whole family live in one room and she has never slept in a room alone so our spare bedroom is unused. She does have her own bathroom and is also quite a modest child so we never have any issues on that front.

[Thaiberius]

One should never put oneself in a position where an allegation can be made. This is true wherever you are in the world and especialy Thailand where money motivates, relationships are fickle and corruption is rife. The daughter is nearly a teenager, is sleepimg in the same bed as her mother and a man who isn't her father. I'm not bothered whether this is Thai culture or not, where there is a possibility of an accusation then it's a whole different ball game. This thread has been here a number of days, I certainly hope the OP has come to his senses by now. It'll be too late once the allegation has been made, no way out.

[Loles]

Dude...for your own protection, you need to put a stop to this immediately. This situation is putting you in danger.

I guess if it came to your mind you are a pretty pedophile dear GDP ...

[Thaiberius]

Dude...for your own protection, you need to put a stop to this immediately. This situation is putting you in danger.

I guess if it came to your mind you are a pretty pedophile dear GDP ...

I suppose the bigger picture is beyond your comprehension.

[ARISTIDE]

I'm really surprised that many farangs agree with this! Similar to "nidieunimaitre" said That was NOT because of Thai culture, it was because of POVERTY." Thai are people just like you and just like your culture it is very wrong to "sex while everyone else is in the room (everyone else pretends not to notice)."!! Unfortunately many Thai girls are poor peasants who like to marry farangs and that's how the whole population is judged too. I will post this on Pantip and see if the "other Thais" think about your Thai expert point of view! Pantip has around 120,000 daily page veiw per forum category (BTW if the women care about her 12 yr old kid more than the OP, in "Thai culture" it means she isn't a soul mate and she only tolerates the OP because he can support her financially)

Yes, many Thai homes only have 1 room.
Yes, many Thais in a family all sleep on one mattress (often 3 generations all together).
Yes, the adult couple often does have sex while everyone else is in the room (everyone else pretends not to notice).
They also go out to 'short-time' hotels for an hour of Privicy sometimes, money allowing.

You have three choices, sleep alone, sleep together, get the daughter to sleep alone.
Sorry, fourth choice, find a new gf with no children.

Oh, and I agree, it's not satisfactory for many men brought up in the western world.
My sympathies for your predicament.

Edited May 18, 2014 by ARISTIDE

[Scarpolo]

I'm really surprised that many farangs agree with this! Similar to "nidieunimaitre" said That was NOT because of Thai culture, it was because of POVERTY." Thai are people just like you and just like your culture it is very wrong to "sex while everyone else is in the room (everyone else pretends not to notice)."!! Unfortunately many Thai girls are poor peasants who like to marry farangs and that's how the whole population is judged too. I will post this on Pantip and see if the "other Thais" think about your Thai expert point of view! Pantip has around 120,000 daily page veiw per forum category (BTW if the women care about her 12 yr old kid more than the OP, in "Thai culture" it means she isn't a soul mate and she only tolerates the OP because he can support her financially)

Yes, many Thai homes only have 1 room.

Yes, many Thais in a family all sleep on one mattress (often 3 generations all together).

Yes, the adult couple often does have sex while everyone else is in the room (everyone else pretends not to notice).

They also go out to 'short-time' hotels for an hour of Privicy sometimes, money allowing.

You have three choices, sleep alone, sleep together, get the daughter to sleep alone.

Sorry, fourth choice, find a new gf with no children.

Oh, and I agree, it's not satisfactory for many men brought up in the western world.

My sympathies for your predicament.

whats Pantip?

please PM the link

[ve741]

I just farted

[Thongkorn]

I just farted

that's your I Q gone then i presume.

Back to the post, it is difficult for a lot of Thai people not to do when they live in one room.