Falling For The Same Trap

[HardenedSoul]

A few of the longer-term posters will know I'm not married and never have been.

Some think I've made a jolly good call while others have less than savoury things to say most of which revolve around the "commitment-phobe" or "not man enough" line of attack and, frankly, they're entitled to their opinions.

I've made life choices that have - for the most part - worked out pretty well for me but I fully accept that they're not for everyone.

Anyway, I know a lot of Western guys come to LOS after a failed marriage (or two) and a financially eviscerating divorce (or two) back home but, within a year or so, many of them are considering tying the knot with a local female with whom they can barely communicate and, often, will buy cars, motorbikes or construct homes in her name as if delivering the spoils of a failed marriage upfront.

Shit, there are even 60 year old wheezers knocking up young wives when it takes them an hour to summon the strength to lift their backsides out of the sack to go to the toilet in the morning.

What's wrong with renting a house? What's wrong with registering cars and bikes in one's own name? What's wrong with co-habitation? What's the point in breeding at 60 then having to worry about education when the child comes of age?

Put bluntly, having managed to extract oneself from a nightmare marriage at great emotional and financial cost back in the West, why oh why would one come here and jump straight back into the same trap all over again?

Edited May 17, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[Lucifer]

Ah, ha. I agree with you 100%.

Just a point to make. Most Thai women will leave the failed farrang from abroad, if they don't buy them a car/motorbike/house, and the threat will continue until he is empty.

[guzzi850m2]

I normally don't bother answering all those post, what if this and what if that.

I am very happily married to a nice Thai lady and we have a 4 year old kid together. Wife and I have been together for app 10 years now.

I am not double so old as her but about 16 years her senior.

If she decide to split, she can have the house, the truck & the scooters I don't care but I will fight her in court for control over my son with all I can muster.

I don't think she will, I am her first husband, our boy is her first kid and she don't have any tattoo's either.

She don't gamble and after 4 beers she can hardly walk straight.

She is a very good lady.

Ohh, one last thing, when her sister borrowed 5000 baht and asked for more, my wife told her to pay back the 5000 first. The sister never asked since.

[The byaMemo]

sorry but i've missed both traps.

perhaps i can adopt some children from china, these seem to be the most important things that marrieds bemoan losing. dont know havent been that route.

Edited May 17, 2014 by The byaMemo

[transam]

OP, are you a farang...........???????????????????

Secondly, why don't you mind your own business and worry about your own soon to arrive old age alone.........

[MJP]

OP, are you a farang...........???????????????????

Secondly, why don't you mind your own business and worry about your own soon to arrive old age alone.........

I think the OP has met that special someone is is trying to tell himself not do it all over again.

[kannot]

Hmm it might surprise hs but my wife bought me a house and car and suports me, not everyine is the same.

[MJP]

Hmm it might surprise hs but my wife bought me a house and car and suports me, not everyine is the same.

Oh, to be a kept man. Does she have a sister?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Lots of men like being married.

Lots of men didn't extract themselves from a marriage, they were booted out when she changed her mind.

Lots of men like having children and a wife.

Nothing wrong with renting a house.

If you are married, no point in putting anything in your name, Thailand has joint property laws.

Co-habiting doesn't work well if you want children in Thailand.

Why care about the kids education? In Thailand it's all bad.

So to put it bluntly, very few married men "extracted themselves".

Edited May 17, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[David48]

I have to say the OP taught me something tonight.

Indeed, I had to look up the word 'eviscerating'.

Never came across it before.

Still not to sure how to drop that into a conversation this week-end, but 'll give it a shot.

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Edited May 17, 2014 by The byaMemo

[apiwan]

A few of the longer-term posters will know I'm not married and never have been.

Some think I've made a jolly good call while others have less than savoury things to say most of which revolve around the "commitment-phobe" or "not man enough" line of attack and, frankly, they're entitled to their opinions.

I've made life choices that have - for the most part - worked out pretty well for me but I fully accept that they're not for everyone.

Anyway, I know a lot of Western guys come to LOS after a failed marriage (or two) and a financially eviscerating divorce (or two) back home but, within a year or so, many of them are considering tying the knot with a local female with whom they can barely communicate and, often, will buy cars, motorbikes or construct homes in her name as if delivering the spoils of a failed marriage upfront.

Shit, there are even 60 year old wheezers knocking up young wives when it takes them an hour to summon the strength to lift their backsides out of the sack to go to the toilet in the morning.

What's wrong with renting a house? What's wrong with registering cars and bikes in one's own name? What's wrong with co-habitation? What's the point in breeding at 60 then having to worry about education when the child comes of age?

Put bluntly, having managed to extract oneself from a nightmare marriage at great emotional and financial cost back in the West, why oh why would one come here and jump straight back into the same trap all over again?

As if delivering the spoils of a failed marriage upfront.

You've made me laugh mate.

Nice post

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[David48]

Put bluntly, having managed to extract oneself from a nightmare marriage at great emotional and financial cost back in the West, why oh why would one come here and jump straight back into the same trap all over again?

On this matter, I have to dissagree with the premise of the OP.

Because I don't see marriage, with the suitable or right partner as 'a trap'.

Almost the opposite ... but each to their own.

What suits the OP on this subject may not suit others, and not me.

I consider myself very lucky to have met my partner, who I also consider to be my best friend.

So, for me ... less of a 'trap' and more of a 'door'

[sdanielmcev]

I have to say the OP taught me something tonight.

Indeed, I had to look up the word 'eviscerating'.

Never came across it before.

Still not to sure how to drop that into a conversation this week-end, but 'll give it a shot.

Use, "On Thaivisa, hardenedsoul and transam eviscerated each other."

[transam]

I have to say the OP taught me something tonight.

Indeed, I had to look up the word 'eviscerating'.

Never came across it before.

Still not to sure how to drop that into a conversation this week-end, but 'll give it a shot.

Use, "On Thaivisa, hardenedsoul and transam eviscerated each other."

Gawd.......wheres my dictionary.............

[benalibina]

I wonder why you feel the need to explain yourself and antagonise others on numerous occasions. What you write makes sense sometimes.....only how you write it........sounds to me like some sort of anger inside you.

Live and let live.

Many come here to settle based on this quote. Some succeed, some don't.

[maprao]

and there i was thinking that eviscerate was something I could ask for as a special in Devils Den:lol:

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Edited May 17, 2014 by maprao

[HardenedSoul]

I wonder why you feel the need to explain yourself and antagonise others on numerous occasions. What you write makes sense sometimes.....only how you write it........sounds to me like some sort of anger inside you.

Live and let live.

Many come here to settle based on this quote. Some succeed, some don't.

Screenshot_2014-05-17-03-07-56-1.png

Stop talking soft, would you?

What exactly in the OP serves to antagonise? I've asked a series of questions, nothing more.

I freely admit that my life choices may not suit others but I don't slate marriage at all - my folks have been married for 54 years. Some make it work, some don't.

This is just a topic of discussion on an internet forum; it's not a blueprint for life, mate

You say live and let live as though the best way to deal with life's landmines is to just pretend they don't exist or things will just "work out".

PS. I wonder if someone said, "Live & let live" before you made your decision to have children with THAT woman. Maybe if you'd read a discussion on TV before doing so, you'd be in a much less precarious position now, wouldn't you?

Edited May 17, 2014 by HardenedSoul

[rgs2001uk]

Enlighten me here . . . what the hell does being farang or not being farang have to do with the topic's subject matter?

I said "Western guys", NOT "farang"

Are all Western guys farang??!!

Are farang the only Westerners who get involved with the local women.

This is what I mean by micro-brained posters. You have to explain things to them like they're toddlers.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeell, after reading your posts for a very long time, your usual words are, fat, bald, old. You think you are different, you post to antaganise folk who might be, fat, bald or old. You come out with the same crap on a regular basis cos you seem to dislike the real "farang" of which you are not.

Never met the OP, however from reading his posts he could almost be my doppledanger.

Like me he doesnt have to pay a woman to live with him.

How much do you throw your squeeze every month, or are you so hansum she lives with you for free?

Carry on HS, some get it others dont.

[transam]

I wonder why you feel the need to explain yourself and antagonise others on numerous occasions. What you write makes sense sometimes.....only how you write it........sounds to me like some sort of anger inside you.

Live and let live.

Many come here to settle based on this quote. Some succeed, some don't.

Screenshot_2014-05-17-03-07-56-1.png

Stop talking soft, would you?

What exactly in the OP serves to antagonise? I've asked a series of questions, nothing more.

I freely admit that my life choices may not suit others but I don't slate marriage at all - my folks have been married for 54 years. Some make it work, some don't.

You say live and let live as though the best way to deal with life's landmines is to just pretend they don't exist or things will just "work out".

This is just a topic of discussion on an internet forum; it's not a blueprint for life, mate

PS. I wonder if someone said, "Live & let live" before you made your decision to have children with THAT woman. Maybe if you'd read a discussion on TV before doing so, you'd be in a much less precarious position now, wouldn't you?

Your posts are always in the same vein, slagging folk off for marrying a Thai because YOU don't want to or no bird will have you. YOU have a very short memory chap.

[pigeonjake]

weve been through this many many times before, and you no this H/S,

it take all to make a world my mate, and you know me i dont have a go at anyone,

if you dont want to be married and like to share it around, thats YOUR CHOISE just the same as it is for us who are married with children,

we fell in love, yes love some will laugh and say she,s with you for money,, ive heard it all before,, you dont know my wife, you havnt got a clue about our relationship, so please dont coment on it,

im just saying, if you dont want to get married,

if you dont want to build a house,

if you dont want to have beautiful children,(goats have kids)

THEN DONT, but please dont have a go at us who do,,

jake

[benalibina]

I wonder why you feel the need to explain yourself and antagonise others on numerous occasions. What you write makes sense sometimes.....only how you write it........sounds to me like some sort of anger inside you.

Live and let live.

Many come here to settle based on this quote. Some succeed, some don't.

Screenshot_2014-05-17-03-07-56-1.png

Stop talking soft, would you?

What exactly in the OP serves to antagonise? I've asked a series of questions, nothing more.

I freely admit that my life choices may not suit others but I don't slate marriage at all - my folks have been married for 54 years. Some make it work, some don't.

This is just a topic of discussion on an internet forum; it's not a blueprint for life, mate

You say live and let live as though the best way to deal with life's landmines is to just pretend they don't exist or things will just "work out".

PS. I wonder if someone said, "Live & let live" before you made your decision to have children with THAT woman. Maybe if you'd read a discussion on TV before doing so, you'd be in a much less precarious position now, wouldn't you?

Thanks for proving my point.

Change the style of wording.

Show that you are the bigger man.

You can do it.

[Som wat]

What's wrong with renting a house?

Nothing. We rent two houses. One in Thailand and one in Japan.

What's wrong with registering cars and bikes in one's own name?

Nothing. That's why I do it.

What's wrong with co-habitation?

Nothing.

What's the point in breeding at 60 then having to worry about education when the child comes of age?

Many people view retirement as a great time to have a child. You're financially secure and there for them every day. Compared to the standard working 9-5 and putting money into investments and mortgages, stress etc during your working life.

You sound bit psychologically needy. Not quite satisfied or happy in yourself so you need to broadcast your theories for evaluation while attempting to put people down so you can feel an extra thrust of your faux-pas superiority.

Look in the mirror and see if you're really satisfied with what you see. I'd wager not.

[jpeg]

I have to say, I do agree with the OP on some points. I've met many guys who've found themselves to be in the position of having to raise children they say they weren't prepared for, and at 50+ that can be daunting and worrisome on the expense front. Why they never thought to have vasectomies after leaving their grown children 'back home' defies every kind of logic. 'Well, it just happened/was so unexpected' They seem not to understand that the 'girls' they hooked up with had not a clue either/were looking for a 'deal sealer.'

But what I find most perplexing are the number of middle aged men queuing for passports for their girl brides, to take them back to wherever they were unhappy, prompting them to come here in the first place And yes. Before we get the 'I've been with my wife and three kids for ten years and am blissfully happy' crowd in, I've read you exist

[Loles]

OP, are you a farang...........???????????????????

Secondly, why don't you mind your own business and worry about your own soon to arrive old age alone.........

May be the OP is a gay and this reason he can't merry cause he is a wife. You never know, and the TV is very good place to sign many B st without any problem. Like my post now.

[rgs2001uk]

weve been through this many many times before, and you no this H/S,

it take all to make a world my mate, and you know me i dont have a go at anyone,

if you dont want to be married and like to share it around, thats YOUR CHOISE just the same as it is for us who are married with children,

we fell in love, yes love some will laugh and say she,s with you for money,, ive heard it all before,, you dont know my wife, you havnt got a clue about our relationship, so please dont coment on it,

im just saying, if you dont want to get married,

if you dont want to build a house,

if you dont want to have beautiful children,(goats have kids)

THEN DONT, but please dont have a go at us who do,,

jake

With respect, Jake - due or otherwise - Shut Up

When the hell did I say I know your wife??

When the hell did I comment on your relationship??

Frankly, I think you should read the freakin' OP properly and understand what's being said before opening that faux salt-of-the-earth mouth of yours cos you're making yourself sound like a complete dolt.

believe me you would never be able to tell me to shut up,,lol

your the one bringing up old posts that have been done to death,,

whats up been out and not pulled??

i would think your the one looking like a dolt, what the ever that is,,,

get a life mate, and get out my face

Would love to respond, however I dont have a clue what the above means, would some kind soul please translate.

I think its posted by yet another 2 week millionaire blow in, could be wrong.

[pigeonjake]

what part dont you understand,, mine or his,,

yes i live in thailand,,

no im not a 2 week millionaire i do 28//28

jake

[transam]

weve been through this many many times before, and you no this H/S,

it take all to make a world my mate, and you know me i dont have a go at anyone,

if you dont want to be married and like to share it around, thats YOUR CHOISE just the same as it is for us who are married with children,

we fell in love, yes love some will laugh and say she,s with you for money,, ive heard it all before,, you dont know my wife, you havnt got a clue about our relationship, so please dont coment on it,

im just saying, if you dont want to get married,

if you dont want to build a house,

if you dont want to have beautiful children,(goats have kids)

THEN DONT, but please dont have a go at us who do,,

jake

With respect, Jake - due or otherwise - Shut Up

When the hell did I say I know your wife??

When the hell did I comment on your relationship??

Frankly, I think you should read the freakin' OP properly and understand what's being said before opening that faux salt-of-the-earth mouth of yours cos you're making yourself sound like a complete dolt.

believe me you would never be able to tell me to shut up,,lol

your the one bringing up old posts that have been done to death,,

whats up been out and not pulled??

i would think your the one looking like a dolt, what the ever that is,,,

get a life mate, and get out my face

Would love to respond, however I dont have a clue what the above means, would some kind soul please translate.

I think its posted by yet another 2 week millionaire blow in, could be wrong.

You would be very wrong........

[marko kok prong]

i think hs post,has established 3 things,;1; his favorite colour is red,;2 he has little in the way of wit,or banter,and 3; he is really pissed off because his blow up doll has a puncture tonight,so he jumps on tv for a fight,i mean really his nonsense is up there with whereustay or tingtongdingdong or brightwarrior,except those guys actually have a sense of humor.Cancel the last one he is busy kicking the s#*t out of his nieghbours.

Edited May 17, 2014 by marko kok prong

[pigeonjake]

lol,

you do make me laugh,,

i never said you said anything about me and my wife.........,,ive heard it all before,,

you dont know my wife, you havnt got a clue about our relationship, so please dont coment on it,

this is what i said,,

i didnt say you had comented,,