'wai pra' to excess?

[12DrinkMore]

Today I am getting annoyed.

For the fifth time in ten days the new gf is off to 'wai pra'. This involves buying fruit, a bunch of stink-sticks, some flowers and a cash donation. Today it will cost around 600-700 baht. Admittedly this is around twice the previous events, but this is now becoming an issue for me. At this rate it will be up around 6,000 baht for the month. This is money that she could send to her parents, where it would find much better uses.

The monks seem to be on a regular visiting plan, and around 10-15 local women attend each time. Nice little earner for the flower and stink-stick sellers, and the monks too.

Wish I could find a way of stopping this without causing an upset.

Ideas?

[pigeonjake]

just grow a pair and tell her to use her own money,,,,,,,, easy, your not against her praying just she has to pay for HER praying

[Vacuum]

Dump her and get a new one. 6000 a month for Buddha stuff, outrageous.

[CharlieH]

Some Thais believe the more they go and more they give etc the better or more lucky life will be for them not just in this life but the next.

I would just point out "paying forward" is fine if thats her belief but tone it down, its easy to be free and give more when its someone elses money.

My wife goes around once a month, usually 50 baht, if its a special ceremony or calender event its 100.

I moan about giving them money anyway, but its her belief and as long as its within reason, then ok upto her.

Edited May 31, 2014 by CharlieH

[HeavyDrinker]

They'll be doing good trade today as it's lottery day tomorrow. Most of them will spend more than they'd win on the lottery though....

[332]

Tell her that you're Buddha.

[hellohello123]

Some Thais believe the more they go and more they give etc the better or more lucky life will be for them not just in this life but the next.

I would just point out "paying forward" is fine if thats her belief but tone it down, its easy to be free and give more when its someone elses money.

My wife goes around once a month, usually 50 baht, if its a special ceremony or calender event its 100.

I moan about giving them money anyway, but its her belief and as long as its wi

thin reason, then ok upto her.

Fair enough,!

Well maybe she should pay for it, then she would get the kudos from the god

As for why some people pay for things they would.never pay for.back.home, I will never understand

Edited May 31, 2014 by hellohello123

[David48]

Is it 'her' money, or 'your' money.

If it's 'her' money, she can do what she likes.

If it's 'your' money then simply say no.

If your money is used then the 'merit made' doesn't go to your partner, remind her of that.

I don't exactly how long the money has to be with giver before the credit is supposed to come back,

but there is no merit in going from your wallet, to her hand to the Monks box.

[geronimo]

Wouldn't even consider going down that road, if I were you.

[AYJAYDEE]

how much a month do you spend on alcohol?

[harrry]

On days they honour the dead my wife buys exxpensive food like roast chicken for the monks and also raids the cupbouard and sends some new bottles or cans of my special "foreign " food so that my ancestors do not get too hungry as she would like them to have something the would like rather that Thai food. You cannot do anything about that but it sounds if the OPs girlfriend is a bit excessive.

[connda]

Wish I could find a way of stopping this without causing an upset.
Ideas?

If it's her money, then it would be her business.

However, if it's your money, set a budget. The 100 baht notes she is handing out should be 20s. And limit the trips to the temple to the full moon on the monthly lunar calendar and Buddhist holidays.

Also, if she is truly showing 'generosity' in order to make merit, she should be using her own money. Using someone else's money to 'appear' to be generous is actually the opposite of generosity. Great merit making for you, not much for her. Actually, that would be deceptive, which would make bad karma for her.

Edited June 1, 2014 by connda

[starky]

On days they honour the dead my wife buys exxpensive food like roast chicken for the monks and also raids the cupbouard and sends some new bottles or cans of my special "foreign " food so that my ancestors do not get too hungry as she would like them to have something the would like rather that Thai food. You cannot do anything about that but it sounds if the OPs girlfriend is a bit excessive.

nicely said

Edited June 1, 2014 by starky

[harrry]

On days they honour the dead my wife buys exxpensive food like roast chicken for the monks and also raids the cupbouard and sends some new bottles or cans of my special "foreign " food so that my ancestors do not get too hungry as she would like them to have something the would like rather that Thai food. You cannot do anything about that but it sounds if the OPs girlfriend is a bit excessive.

Oh yeah because Thai's are just crazy about falang food particularly dead ones

She is concerned about my relatives and they were farang and their names are always written in Thai and English with mine too on the envelope that goes with it so if they do not find them easily a thai pee can go and get them. She is sure they would like a foreign meal.

Everything given to the wat is in two names as she always includes me too.

Edited June 1, 2014 by harrry

[starky]

My apologies I do respect your ancestors. I thought you were talking about the in-laws, but were you realtives buried at the wat? I am confused as how a Thai pee would travel to your homeland to find them. Everything I give at the wat s in 2 names as well but I am neither buddhist nor superstitious but i respect your beliefs

On days they honour the dead my wife buys exxpensive food like roast chicken for the monks and also raids the cupbouard and sends some new bottles or cans of my special "foreign " food so that my ancestors do not get too hungry as she would like them to have something the would like rather that Thai food. You cannot do anything about that but it sounds if the OPs girlfriend is a bit excessive.

Oh yeah because Thai's are just crazy about falang food particularly dead ones

She is concerned about my relatives and they were farang and their names are always written in Thai and English with mine too on the envelope that goes with it so if they do not find them easily a thai pee can go and get them. She is sure they would like a foreign meal.

Everything given to the wat is in two names as she always includes me too.

[harrry]

My apologies I do respect your ancestors. I thought you were talking about the in-laws, but were you realtives buried at the wat? I am confused as how a Thai pee would travel to your homeland to find them. Everything I give at the wat s in 2 names as well but I am neither buddhist nor superstitious but i respect your beliefs

On days they honour the dead my wife buys exxpensive food like roast chicken for the monks and also raids the cupbouard and sends some new bottles or cans of my special "foreign " food so that my ancestors do not get too hungry as she would like them to have something the would like rather that Thai food. You cannot do anything about that but it sounds if the OPs girlfriend is a bit excessive.

Oh yeah because Thai's are just crazy about falang food particularly dead ones

She is concerned about my relatives and they were farang and their names are always written in Thai and English with mine too on the envelope that goes with it so if they do not find them easily a thai pee can go and get them. She is sure they would like a foreign meal.

Everything given to the wat is in two names as she always includes me too.

Why would they be buried at the wat. Even thai people are not.

[krisb]

how much a month do you spend on alcohol?

God you sound just like her.

[David48]

Why would they be buried at the wat. Even thai people are not.

Are you saying that there are no remains of deceased Thai people inturned at a Wat?

[pigeonjake]

you can put the ashes in the wat grounds,

[harrry]

Why would they be buried at the wat. Even thai people are not.

Are you saying that there are no remains of deceased Thai people inturned at a Wat?

No, I am not there are....there are embalmed abots relics of ex kings, bones of people who have been cremated but the majority of thai people are cremateed and traditionaly keep some of the bones of their ancesters aqt home, usualy in a high place not buried.

There would be few if any farangs buried at wats.

Most chedis have a bone or two of someone inside them.

People who go to make offerings at the wat to the dead do not go there because someone is buried there. Some european countries the residents of which do bury their dead make a point of going to the grave of the person to make offerings of flowers etc on aniverseries but with thais they make their offerings at the wat not where someone is buried.

[12DrinkMore]

If it gets to 6,000 baht it would exceed my beer consumption by far. Nowadays can't drink more than two large ones without a bad headache next morning.

Interesting observation about length of time money has to be in her posession. The cash donations do come out of her purse. So maybe that is enough to claim ownership and any "bun" purchased?

The fruit and stink-sticks found their way into the shopping cart at Tesco's.

Well, <deleted>, even after yesterday's double session, afternoon preparation and an hour kneeling in front of the monks, she has announced that she will be going to the wat every Monday morning until her birthday next month.

Too much, too much.

This is getting boring.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

New girlfriend.

One that doesn't waste your money on such foolishness.

[David48]

Why would they be buried at the wat. Even thai people are not.

Are you saying that there are no remains of deceased Thai people inturned at a Wat?

People who go to make offerings at the wat to the dead do not go there because someone is buried there.

...but with thais they make their offerings at the wat not where someone is buried.

Mate, your experiences and mine differ somewhat.

At Songkran, the whole Thai Family gather together as a Clan and pay homage at the local Wat where the remains of deceased relative is buried.

MissFarmGirl's Mob have been in the area for generations.

[12DrinkMore]

New girlfriend.

One that doesn't waste your money on such foolishness.

I like the girl, just need to find a way to get her to tone it down a bit. I will give her a chance, she has too many other positive features.

Apropos, I have a friend who married an islamic girl. He got himself circumcised, a year later, after she took him for two million (pickup and house), he was kicked out.

Never got his foreskin back either.....

OUCH!!!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Was that the most unkindest cut of all?

[swissie]

If it's her money = fine. Otherwise: OP should explain to her that the 6000 Bht per month are budgeted to practice his religion. That is to visit bar-ladies occasionally to perform short-term sessions to seek enlightenment, peace of mind and generally bring him closer to Nirvana.

The Thai Lady, being religious herself will understand.

Cheers.

[daveAustin]

Ah, the ole my money is my money and your money is our money. I'm with the grow a pair brigade I'm afraid.

As a side issue to deflate her a tad, you could tell her that 'making merit' to ultimately bring good fortune (which is why 99.9999999999999999% of them do it) is not *the* Buddha's way. It is Thai buddhism 101.

[claffey]

Some Thais believe the more they go and more they give etc the better or more lucky life will be for them not just in this life but the next.

I would just point out "paying forward" is fine if thats her belief but tone it down, its easy to be free and give more when its someone elses money.

My wife goes around once a month, usually 50 baht, if its a special ceremony or calender event its 100.

I moan about giving them money anyway, but its her belief and as long as its wi

thin reason, then ok upto her.

Fair enough,!

Well maybe she should pay for it, then she would get the kudos from the god

As for why some people pay for things they would.never pay for.back.home, I will never understand

[claffey]

People always 'donate' to their religions. Churches in Europe are always passing donation baskets around. Catholic schools in the UK have a 'volunatary' donation...Buying indulgences has a place in every religion, not just Buddhism...

Some Thais believe the more they go and more they give etc the better or more lucky life will be for them not just in this life but the next.

I would just point out "paying forward" is fine if thats her belief but tone it down, its easy to be free and give more when its someone elses money.

My wife goes around once a month, usually 50 baht, if its a special ceremony or calender event its 100.
I moan about giving them money anyway, but its her belief and as long as its wi
thin reason, then ok upto her.

Fair enough,!

Well maybe she should pay for it, then she would get the kudos from the god

As for why some people pay for things they would.never pay for.back.home, I will never understand

[hellohello123]

If it's her money = fine. Otherwise: OP should explain to her that the 6000 Bht per month are budgeted to practice his religion. That is to visit bar-ladies occasionally to perform short-term sessions to seek enlightenment, peace of mind and generally bring him closer to Nirvana.

The Thai Lady, being religious herself will understand.

Cheers.

I'm not a very religious person myself but wouldn't making offerings to the gods with someone else's money defeat the purpose of the exercise?

Or is more a self conscious way to make your self feel better for your wrong doings like how bar girls go to a temple to detox but say it's an offering or praying