Member With A Problem!

[tuky]

Yes...

It is me.

Whilst I love a drink, it makes me feel better, gives me confidence, helps pass the time, lets me dream about all that I wish I had, and satisfies my thirst. I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop.

Last night I drank a whole bottle of vodka, the night before I did the same. My nightly consumption is a bottle of vodka, or 8-12 700ml bottles of beer.

I was drinking with my boss tonight and I told him how much I drink, he was shocked. He told me I come to work everyday and he had no idea I drink so much.

However, I really truly want to stop it.

So I made a deal with my boss, as of monday I will stop drinking and stop smoking. I am on 3 packs a day.

He will also stop drinking and smoking.

PLEASE wish me luck. I have a really bad drinking problem, alcohol calls to me, it says drink me, drink me and I listen.

I really want to do this, and I just hope I have the will power.\

Tonight is the last night I can get pissed, and tomorrow is the last day I can smoke.

Please wish me luck and help me guys. I want to be old enough to see my two girls grow into two fine women.

Love you all.

-- Tuky

Admin edit: tuky gave his approval to publish this post in the open forum, it was first published in the moderators forum on 2006-06-17.

[Boo]

Tuky, best of luck & I know you can do it.

Whenever you want a drink or smoke think of your two lovely daughters & what their life will be like when their dad becomes an alcoholic & dies young from liver failure.

Sorry to put that image in your head but you owe it to them to live a healthy & sober life. If you don't think you can drink occasionally & in moderation then stop completely. Maybe one day you can come back to the occasional social drink but for now stop completly to get your body & mind away from the control alcohol has over you.

I know the work situation is stressful & this is maybe (most likely?) why you drink as much as you do. Try to find other outlets, your family & you will thank yourself for it later.

As for the smoking, I quit last year in August & the only way I knew how was to smoke myself out for 5 days ( lock all windows & doors, don't go out & chain smoke until you feel ill, I can't even look at a cigarette these days without gagging)

GOOD LUCK

[tuky]

Boo, I love you to bits.

I want to start agaion now, and as of monday I am going to do that.

JD, the 19th is now cola inspired, I really want to make a go of this maste.

So, please give me your support folks. I am going to give it my best shot.

[malcolminthemiddle]

malcolm, any hints?

I don’t know your current work status and whether your family are with you or can be with you, if not, start searching for a new job where you can have a family life and not just work from leave to leave.

Earning the big bucks is nice but money is not every thing, health and family is.

Life has a way of giving all of us a wake up call, recognizing them is the secret.

You’re drinking and smoking too much because you are bored and unhappy.

Change your life style, get happy.

[astral]

All the best

astral

[p1p]

tuky - You need help, seriously. Trying to give this up alone is almost impossible. And, if you fail, you will feel even worse about it.

You have taken the first, most important and most difficult step - recognising and admitting you have a problem. Your next step is to accept you need help to overcome it.

Contact Alcoholics Anonymous ASAP. Their Online resources are HERE: http://www.recovery.org/aa/

Go and see a doctor - There are some amazing medicines you can take nowadays which greatly reduce the craving.

You are not alone in this. All of us here are rooting for you and will help in any way we can. Be strong.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

We are with you tuky. I too doubt that you can do it all alone, so try to seek professional help. Good luck old mate.

[lopburi3]

I also would highly recommend you contact AA as you will likely need outside support and they have been there. I was lucky never to have the drinking problem but just giving up smoking is a major deal in itself. Get the best help and support that you can. And you and boss should support each other as best you can - if you both keep off you both will win a major war. You have made the major move - now you have to keep the promise to yourself and for yourself. You stand to open a whole new world.

But you need and deserve to have the knowledge of those that have the experience and can help you and that is where an AA group can make all the difference. And I would not be shy about getting medical attention as the most important thing is success. However you do it; just do it. Wish you all the best and look forward to you continuing your work here - and perhaps helping others after your problems are history.

[sbk]

p1p is absolutely right, AA can do alot, it is difficult to work the steps alone, but I would seriously consider going to their website. My father, my sister and my brother-in-law have all gotten sober through AA (or NA) and I am a huge proponent of it.

Please, get some help now, it is terrific that you realize you have a problem and need some help, but you can't make your family your reason for doing so, you must do it because YOU want to do it.

Know that we are all behind you, and if ever you need any support or help don't ever hesitate to ask.

[Khutan]

tuky;

Alow me to recount what I was told:

This method was known as the "Drinkers Diary". Please take my advice with the best intentions, rather than moralising or giving you a lecture.

The key to this method, that worked for me, is control over your life rather than having drink control you.

1. You need to have 90 days totally off the sauce. That includes all additives, thinks like toppings for christmas cake etc. So 90 days of nothing.

I can tell you it is difficult to do. During the 90 days, you need to keep a journal. Every tie you want a drink, you need to outline your feelings and what had made you want to drink, and how you think it will make you feel better.

The purpose of this is to help you see inside the motives that make you drink. When you understand your motives, then you are in a position to take control.

2. When you start to drink again after the 90 days, you must set some rules. Simple ones but none the less rules.

The first rule is you must keep the journal or diary. This is very important. Now when you have a drink, then you must record every drink you have in the journal, why you drank it, and also what having the drink did for you. You should also add what effect there was on you.

The next rule is, as you have now been off the drink for 3 months is to set limits to your activities. Time limits such as what hours of the day you will drink. The first and most obvious one is no social drinking before mid-day. You know your lifestyle, so you need also to set an end-time also.

You must also set a rule on drinking alone. The program I was on said you must never drink alone.

There is a heap of other stuff, that is too much to write here, feel free to call me or get me on MSN etc to talk. I am more than happy to help you, I am also willing to do this with you if if will help.

The Smokes, I think you should choose one of the other to do first, personally I think the drink is needed to be taken control of first.

Good luck

[Khutan]

Just another thing I forgot. Where you live and work, you need to get rid of all the stuff associated with drinking, like bottle-openers, posters etc.

Also, You should not do the smokes and the drink at the same time, it will be fery difficult, and if you fail then you will feel very bad, and if you are succeeding with one and not the other, then you may lapse with the other.

Mhere are many ways of cutting back on the smokes, that makes that path easier.

[sabaijai]

Good luck Tuky. You should do whatever works, whether it's the journal idea or AA or rehab. Or all three!

Might be good to wait on the tobacco. From what I've observed in others hooked on these, it seems like the ciggies are harder to quit than the booze. But I'm sure it all varies a lot from person to person.

You will come out of this a better person. Keep us posted on your journey.

[meadish_sweetball]

Everyone has already given excellent advice, so I will just say I am behind you and for what it's worth you can get in touch whenever you like.

I have never had a drinking problem, but I was heavily addicted to cigarettes for 18 years, failing to quit four times because of lacking that truly deep inner motivation - I made about 3 months and then thought "I can do this!" and of course got hooked again.

The only thing that could make me see sense was a family member diagnosed with lung cancer and dying some years later. I now know I will never smoke another cigarette in my life, and the best part is that after a year it was not at all difficult anymore.

You can beat the addiction. Find the strength inside of you and hold on to it. And whenever everything feels unbearable and you are just dying to give in to your craving, just get in touch with a friend and talk your way through it. One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

[fatter than harry]

Start a blog mate, when in a shitty country, away from your family, might help a bit.

Good luck and PM me anytime!

[Neeranam]

Tuky, I wish you all the best.

I used to drink 2 bottles of Thai whisky a day, and have not touched a drop now for 6 years.

I tried everything for 15-20 years to stop by myself. I even tried moving countries, learning Kung <deleted>, becoming a monk, studying all kinds of cults and religions, philosophy etc etc.

I simply couldn't do it by myself. I went to AA in Bangkok and haven't even had a craving to drink again. I don't know how it works, but it does.

Staying off the drink is great - I was terrified at first. I can do things now that I could never have dreamed of. it is wonderful and a miracle for this low-bottom drunk to somehow have the urge to drink removed.

I won't tell too much of my history on a public forum but the drink took me to living on the streets of Bangkok, in the mental assylums and jails.

Believe me it only gets worse, NEVER better. Do everything you can now to prevent it getting worse.

There are 3 choices for the alcoholic - covered up, locked up or sobered up - I know what one is best.

Luckily I didn't have a family when I was drinking - I didn't want one. The booze had TOTAL control. Now the stakes are much higher. You must be under no illusion that you can ever drink normally again.

AA told me that the program they use was simple, but not easy, but believe this drunk - it was worth it.

[britmaveric]

Goodluck mate!!! If alcohol is an end all be all of one's life - certainly one should take action for it not to be.

Try a substitute - hit the gym mate. (postive addiction for a negative)

[Khutan]

.....Believe me it only gets worse, NEVER better.....

So True, excellent comment

[Netfan]

Best of luck. Check out AA- only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. You'll get a lot of support. Try it for 90 days. You may find you will hear someone tell their story at a meeting and you'll say "my god, thats me". I know for most people who "cross the line" between social drinking and problem drinking, "controlled" drinking does not work.

[khall64au]

My 2 bahts worth: Stress is a BIG factor with any addiction. With myself - any time I drink coffee, I later have a need for to drink alcohol and/or smoke cigarettes. Bear that in mind also, Tuky! Try substituting coffee for black or especially, Green tea - an anti-oxidant ( or poison-stripper, in other words).

Try to consume as many anti-oxidants (in your diet) as possible. Do your research - anti-oxidants range from certain fruits & veggies to fish, green tea, etc. (check the web).

I truly believe that we are what we eat and drink. Sometimes, our consumption over-rides our body and that is when we lose control. Without the will and knowledge of how to regain control, we are all at risk of hitting rock bottom.

Research, Tuky, research!

[TBWG]

Hi Tuky

As a reletive newcomer to Thai Visa I would like to wish you all the best in your attempt to kick the habit.

Can I suggest that your first step in the right direction should be to change your avatar to something less controversial, say more family orientated.

Once again all the best and be strong

TBWG

[elsie]

Good luck, Reith. It's not going to be easy. But be strong!!

[English Noodles]

I would just like to say good luck to you and remember you have already made the most important step by realising and admitting that your drinking is indeed a problem.

Good luck.

Noodles.

[Hans Brix]

You gotta do it cold turkey, I mean cold Tuky, dude. you know what's gonna happen if you have so much as 1 pop. I would do some walking in the BKK heat and bake that shit right out of your system. Hit the sauna or just sweat it outta ya right outside. I'm not so sure though if you should be trying to knock off the cigs at the same time though. That might be too tough. Certainly you can cut the cigs down as you are cold turkeying it. I have a good friend who pulled off what you are going to try and he did it. He was a major alchie but he never went back and he never touches the sauce. Good luck, you can do it but do it right

[daleyboy]

Good luck me old mate, i am sure you will be fine. You have the support from a lot of people me included, anytime mate, just an email away.

Seriously mate anytime you wanna talk feel free

[Cheeky Farang]

Tuky, you can do this.

Every time you think you want a drink, just hold up your kids photos and say out loud.

NO, I dont want a drink, I want to carry on being a wonderfull father to them and be someone they love and respect. Not an OLD ALCKY

[Pattayatony]

Tuky,

Good luck mate. As you will see there are a few members of AA on this forum me being one of them. Yes I was a hopeless cronic alkie but I walked through the doors of AA in August 1980 and that was the greatest single decision I have ever made. I had tried to stop drinking every which way but it was only through the great people in AA that help me stay stopped. I wont put too much of my story on a public forum only to say that AA gave me another chance at life. One incident that did happen in my early days of sobriety and you will be able to identify with this. My son who was 8 years old at the time was lying on my lap watching TV and he looked up at me and said "Dad please dont ever drink again" that still brings tears to my eyes today.

I know you are going to make it because you have made the first step in the right direction and that takes a lot of GUTS. If you wish you can email or PM me and I would be only too happy to talk with you.

Cheers Tony >> link to AA in Thailand>>http://www.aathailand.org/

[ThaiPauly]

Tuky,

I admire you for admitting to your problems on an open forum..that takes a lot of guts..

However AA categorically say that you cannot possibly deal with more than one addiction at a time.

You have to imagine yourself as a guy with two crutches that he needs to get through his daily life.

If you take one away (Drinking) you can still walk (until you get used to it on one).

If you take away TWO (Drinking & Smoking)..you fall flat on your face.

Once you have mastered getting around on one crutch then you can contemplate getting shot of the second one.

PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT STOP SMOKING...YET.

Get yourself off the booze and be comfortable with being off the booze first. Get into AA, it really IS the ONLY way to STAY STOPPED

Why do I think I am qualified to say such things?

I won't go into a very long story except to say that at one time I was heavily involved in AA back in the UK as a Branch Secretary.. I did not have a drink for 4 years as a result of my involvement in AA... Alcohol came BACK into my life when I STOPPED going as it does with most people that give up going and thinking they can do it alone..simple fact is you can't..unfortunatley. If you do you will become a "Dry Drunk" meaning that although you do not drink you will always want one, once you get yourself into AA you will find yourself THINKING DIFFERENTLY and will be uplifted by the camaradre and support that you find within these groups. many view AA as bunch of drunks with string tied round their coats.. I have yet to see one of them , except those that have not stopped.

My ex was at a meeting when she was in recovery and in walked Eric Clapton..its no secret that he goes to AA meetings, so do many other high profile people as well as Doctors, Dentists, Police Inspectors, I have even met a JUDGE at an AA meeting !

You have to accept that you can NEVER DRINK AGAIN.. Forget about going without for lengthy periods and then having "Just the one" because you think you can handle it.. you never will be able to and its great that you have realised that you have to stop.

For alcoholics "One drink is never enough and one drink is too many"

I have issues of my own to deal with..but this is neither the time nor place to discuss them, this is about YOU and your decision to quit

I wish you the very best of luck from the bottom of my heart , I really feel for you, but there IS A WAY

PS. Best put a cross on the Chang Bottle top too

Good Luck Mate

TP

[Ijustwannateach]

Tuky,

Haven't seen you very much lately on the subforums I frequent, but I've always liked and admired what I've seen of you in your posts. As you describe it, you do have a serious problem to overcome, and I'd have to say I have no idea how difficult it will be for you.

However, I do know that you will need to change other things in your life- not just smoking and drinking- that means you'll need to go to new places where there's no alcohol or smoking allowed, and find new friends who won't be smoking and drinking around you. I don't remember your situation regarding how long you have to be away from your family, but the sooner you can be back together with them the better.

If you're back in Thailand at any point, I'd be happy to hang out with you without smoking or drinking. Good luck and keep us posted.

"S"

[Insight]

I agree with ThaiPauly - if you try and quit smoking at the same time as the booze you'll make life h3ll for yourself.

About two years ago I also went off the rails with Vodka. It came to a point similar to yours, almost going through an entire bottle an evening. After a few days I of this woke up and thought this has got to stop.

Went complete cold turkey on alcohol for a week. The first two nights were almost sleepless, and whatever sleep I did get was scattered in bizarre dreams. Three or four days later normal sleeping patterns started to resume.

Now I stick to beer and the occasional whiskey at Thai parties.

/edit - Forgot to mention - Good Luck! I'm sure you'll figure this one out.

[Chang_paarp]

Tuky

Good luck and good health.

I do not envy you in your decision. I stopped smoking 25 years ago and still get the odd pang. It gets easier to say no as time goes by. I still drink but only through will power do I only drink occasionally.

According to the smoking folk it takes 3-5 times to give up, this will be the same with drinking. Just remember it is like teaching your kids to ride a bike, when they fall off you tell them to get back on and keep trying, do the same for your self, with the same hard love.

Also drink lots of water, if you need a drink grab a water, to prevent weight problems keep it plain boring water, it helps you flush the system out. Yes you will be best mates with the toilet, but it will help you feel better and you will have something in your hand.