Dowry

[AYJAYDEE]

They didn't explain anything of their culture, not sin sod nor anything else. In fact if they were to explain their culture to me why would the start with the part about giving them money?

I researched these things myself.

I also did not demand anything of them, I just showed them the bill for the wedding and explained my culture(as they could not be bothered to research it themselves) at this point they felt their culture was not important enough to mention to me again(I was still happy to pay it if need be). They still have not explained any other aspects of Thai culture to me......

And it was a great start to the marriage, a lovely beach ceremony that was enjoyed by all(including my wifes family) and the marriage is still going strong. In the end I was able to get over my disappointment of my in-laws lying to me as I still got to marry my lovely wife and start a family together.

I am not sure where you are from or if you are married but why would you place more importance on a foreign culture than your own?

i honour the culture in which I live. you have shamed the parents of your bride. where you gleaned the information is immaterial. all were aware you had it. manipulative games earn little respect.

You are the one who brought up where I got the information, are you saying your comments are immaterial?

I think you must have missed the post where I stated that I live in Australia and that I was trying to honour that culture.

So as you have said, if it is all about the culture in which you live then am I right in assuming that an apology is coming from you as you actually agree that our(my and my wife's Australian culture) culture is more important than my in-laws culture?

you were married in their culture.

[arjunadawn]

Oscar2 BS.

If you actually have lived in Thailand more than a week at a time and have ever met a Thai man, then you have met people who have paid Sinsod. It is not a foreign scam, it is a fact of life.

Money is often for show but sometimes when the family is poor some is kept. As long as you have a good relationship with her family and her, then you can discuss with them and not with strangers on an internet forum.

I do get tired of foreigners bashing other cultures traditions and equating this to buying a wife. I guess that buying a diamond ring for the same amount as most sinsod is ok though.

It's only through mental gymnastics and "I'm now indigenous" nonsense that it can be asserted sinsot is not bride-price; of course it is. You may accept it. You may explain it. You may grasp the underlying social harmonics, the bridge-building in the community, but it's bride price. Though it remains true: if someone doesn't like it or learn to they should return home- I agree!

[larsjohnsson]

They didn't explain anything of their culture, not sin sod nor anything else. In fact if they were to explain their culture to me why would the start with the part about giving them money?

I researched these things myself.

I also did not demand anything of them, I just showed them the bill for the wedding and explained my culture(as they could not be bothered to research it themselves) at this point they felt their culture was not important enough to mention to me again(I was still happy to pay it if need be). They still have not explained any other aspects of Thai culture to me......

And it was a great start to the marriage, a lovely beach ceremony that was enjoyed by all(including my wifes family) and the marriage is still going strong. In the end I was able to get over my disappointment of my in-laws lying to me as I still got to marry my lovely wife and start a family together.

I am not sure where you are from or if you are married but why would you place more importance on a foreign culture than your own?

i honour the culture in which I live. you have shamed the parents of your bride. where you gleaned the information is immaterial. all were aware you had it. manipulative games earn little respect.

You are the one who brought up where I got the information, are you saying your comments are immaterial?

I think you must have missed the post where I stated that I live in Australia and that I was trying to honour that culture.

So as you have said, if it is all about the culture in which you live then am I right in assuming that an apology is coming from you as you actually agree that our(my and my wife's Australian culture) culture is more important than my in-laws culture?

Agree 100% with you ljd

[ljd1308]

They didn't explain anything of their culture, not sin sod nor anything else. In fact if they were to explain their culture to me why would the start with the part about giving them money?

I researched these things myself.

I also did not demand anything of them, I just showed them the bill for the wedding and explained my culture(as they could not be bothered to research it themselves) at this point they felt their culture was not important enough to mention to me again(I was still happy to pay it if need be). They still have not explained any other aspects of Thai culture to me......

And it was a great start to the marriage, a lovely beach ceremony that was enjoyed by all(including my wifes family) and the marriage is still going strong. In the end I was able to get over my disappointment of my in-laws lying to me as I still got to marry my lovely wife and start a family together.

I am not sure where you are from or if you are married but why would you place more importance on a foreign culture than your own?

i honour the culture in which I live. you have shamed the parents of your bride. where you gleaned the information is immaterial. all were aware you had it. manipulative games earn little respect.

You are the one who brought up where I got the information, are you saying your comments are immaterial?

I think you must have missed the post where I stated that I live in Australia and that I was trying to honour that culture.

So as you have said, if it is all about the culture in which you live then am I right in assuming that an apology is coming from you as you actually agree that our(my and my wife's Australian culture) culture is more important than my in-laws culture?

you were married in their culture.

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

[pendingo]

Glegolo/keithkarmann

If you are happy with the way things are then go for it.

However it is possible at some point your gf and her parents may expect you to get married.

I'm afraid you will then have to pay some kind of dowry but if you sit down with your girlfriend and her parents you may be able to negotiate some sort of reasonable payment but this is only if you intend to marry.

I have now been married for the best part of 7 years with my Thai wife and gradually we built our house together with money I saved from when I was at work.

My wife and her parents have always treated me very well and there are no trust issues here.

I am quite happy that she will have the house when I depart this mortal coil.

Good luck and best wishes.

Edited June 10, 2014 by pendingo

[AYJAYDEE]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

[Ozybear]

They didn't explain anything of their culture, not sin sod nor anything else. In fact if they were to explain their culture to me why would the start with the part about giving them money?

I researched these things myself.

I also did not demand anything of them, I just showed them the bill for the wedding and explained my culture(as they could not be bothered to research it themselves) at this point they felt their culture was not important enough to mention to me again(I was still happy to pay it if need be). They still have not explained any other aspects of Thai culture to me......

And it was a great start to the marriage, a lovely beach ceremony that was enjoyed by all(including my wifes family) and the marriage is still going strong. In the end I was able to get over my disappointment of my in-laws lying to me as I still got to marry my lovely wife and start a family together.

I am not sure where you are from or if you are married but why would you place more importance on a foreign culture than your own?

i honour the culture in which I live. you have shamed the parents of your bride. where you gleaned the information is immaterial. all were aware you had it. manipulative games earn little respect.

You are the one who brought up where I got the information, are you saying your comments are immaterial?

I think you must have missed the post where I stated that I live in Australia and that I was trying to honour that culture.

So as you have said, if it is all about the culture in which you live then am I right in assuming that an apology is coming from you as you actually agree that our(my and my wife's Australian culture) culture is more important than my in-laws culture?

you were married in their culture.

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

My wife's mother, from Isaan, is also Christian and never expected a dowry. Hence a gift of building a house for her was appreciated.

Each to their own in all cultures.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[bangkoklasse]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

You do embarrass both yourself and your wife in this thread. And especially in all your silly replies to ljd............

[AYJAYDEE]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

You do embarrass both yourself and your wife in this thread. And especially in all your silly replies to ljd............

my wife family says youre wrong

[ljd1308]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

[AYJAYDEE]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

if you are so sure of that , why are you asking all those silly questions?

[ljd1308]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

if you are so sure of that , why are you asking all those silly questions?

The reasons for my responses are twofold, I was initially offended at your assumption that I had shamed my wife's family and secondly it is a slow day at work and I needed to kill some time.

Also, If you are in Thailand now, why are you not responding in Thai? I would assume that is more part of Thai culture than English and if you are on Thai soil then everything has to be done according to Thai culture.....

[AYJAYDEE]

The reasons for my responses are twofold, I was initially offended at your assumption that I had shamed my wife's family and secondly it is a slow day at work and I needed to kill some time.

Also, If you are in Thailand now, why are you not responding in Thai? I would assume that is more part of Thai culture than English and if you are on Thai soil then everything has to be done according to Thai culture.....

never ASSume.

[Oceanbat]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

if you are so sure of that , why are you asking all those silly questions?

The reasons for my responses are twofold, I was initially offended at your assumption that I had shamed my wife's family and secondly it is a slow day at work and I needed to kill some time.

Also, If you are in Thailand now, why are you not responding in Thai? I would assume that is more part of Thai culture than English and if you are on Thai soil then everything has to be done according to Thai culture.....

Assertion

OB

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[Thighlander]

I am reminded of my new policy, where when I approach the counter at a store, and they are standing behind it counting more than 2000 THB; I put my stuff down and walk out the door. It's just something they're not good with. Sure, they have machines at the banks, but I'm talkin' about the vast majority of the rest of the population. They can cook, clean, sing, and dance, but they are horrible in money matters (funny, Jefferson said the same thing about his "staff").

[slipperylobster]

Sin sod is not scam, Thai men pay too... If you dont like it, then go look elsewhere, simple.. Its part of their culture, same as other ethnic groups have the brides family pay for everything..

If I am reading this correctly, then you are saying there is only one choice.

Well, well....I beat the system, I guess. My gal and family love me anyways....whatever I did wrong, they said nothing to support your theory that Sin Sot is a necessity. I am living proof that you are incorrect.

In fact, I am sure there are more like me.

and no....not all thai men pay it. That is what somebody told you, or something you read in a book.

Not true. Many elope, or just live together......and marry later (quietly)

live with it...

Edited June 10, 2014 by slipperylobster

[bangkoklasse]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

@ ljd,

He will never give you a real answer. He's just trying to justify his own mistake of paying a large sinsod.

[Artist]

Sinsod is paid all the time. The important thing is for it to be shown at the wedding. Often arrangements are made to show it at the wedding, and then given back to the groom afterwards. Sometimes if the groom does not have the money, the brides parents put up their own money to show at the wedding, and then of course keep it after the wedding. Everyone saves face. Don't let anyone tell you that this does not happen. Believe it or not, just like the rest of the world, some marriages do last forever. Especially when you start in your 60's.

Absolutely correct. In the villages of Isaan its all about face and honour. If you fail to pay enough, your bride and her family lose face. As a farang you can obviously afford to pay more and should pay more. The amount is negotiated between you and your wife's family. If she is in good condition you pay more if she has been married many times and worked in a bar for decades you pay less. You can do a deal where the money is displayed and returned but that would be poor form for a rich farang. 10 years ago when I paid for my wife she wanted a four door pickup. I said I could only afford a two door so the deal was that part of the money was returned to me to pay for the more expensive pickup. All very civilised.

[Oceanbat]

Sin sod is not scam, Thai men pay too... If you dont like it, then go look elsewhere, simple.. Its part of their culture, same as other ethnic groups have the brides family pay for everything..

If I am reading this correctly, then you are saying there is only one choice.

Well, well....I beat the system, I guess. My gal and family love me anyways....whatever I did wrong, they said nothing to support your theory that Sin Sot is a necessity. I am living proof that you are incorrect.

In fact, I am sure there are more like me.

and no....not all thai men pay it. That is what somebody told you, or something you read in a book.

Not true. Many elope, or just live together......and marry later (quietly)

live with it...

Me either. Bro fist or chest bump?

OB

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[AYJAYDEE]

Sin sod is not scam, Thai men pay too... If you dont like it, then go look elsewhere, simple.. Its part of their culture, same as other ethnic groups have the brides family pay for everything..

If I am reading this correctly, then you are saying there is only one choice.

Well, well....I beat the system, I guess. My gal and family love me anyways....whatever I did wrong, they said nothing to support your theory that Sin Sot is a necessity. I am living proof that you are incorrect.

In fact, I am sure there are more like me.

and no....not all thai men pay it. That is what somebody told you, or something you read in a book.

Not true. Many elope, or just live together......and marry later (quietly)

live with it...

they may love you but they are too shy to tell you how much you embarrassed them

[Oceanbat]

Sin sod is not scam, Thai men pay too... If you dont like it, then go look elsewhere, simple.. Its part of their culture, same as other ethnic groups have the brides family pay for everything..

If I am reading this correctly, then you are saying there is only one choice.

Well, well....I beat the system, I guess. My gal and family love me anyways....whatever I did wrong, they said nothing to support your theory that Sin Sot is a necessity. I am living proof that you are incorrect.

In fact, I am sure there are more like me.

and no....not all thai men pay it. That is what somebody told you, or something you read in a book.

Not true. Many elope, or just live together......and marry later (quietly)

live with it...

they may love you but they are too shy to tell you how much you embarrassed them

So embarrassment.

OB

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[AYJAYDEE]

Sin sod is not scam, Thai men pay too... If you dont like it, then go look elsewhere, simple.. Its part of their culture, same as other ethnic groups have the brides family pay for everything..

If I am reading this correctly, then you are saying there is only one choice.

Well, well....I beat the system, I guess. My gal and family love me anyways....whatever I did wrong, they said nothing to support your theory that Sin Sot is a necessity. I am living proof that you are incorrect.

In fact, I am sure there are more like me.

and no....not all thai men pay it. That is what somebody told you, or something you read in a book.

Not true. Many elope, or just live together......and marry later (quietly)

live with it...

they may love you but they are too shy to tell you how much you embarrassed them

So embarrassment.

OB

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

yep.

[NangrongJ]

These questions keep popping up and I'm astonished at some of the replies.

There is no such thing as a dowry in Thailand. What you mean is sin sod. In any case, where countries have such traditions to pay the brides family the purpose may vary but it is for a young (usually and expected) virgin to leave her family and have some security. If, as is usually the4 case that she has been married before then there is no sin sod, or dowry. It is exploited by Thais against farangs. We never hear of this when a Thai woman marries a second or third time to another Thai.

And, if money is the dominant factor in the conversation then I would not buy a house, you might find that you will be out of it and no where to live later.

[ljd1308]

Really? I had no idea that part of Thai culture was to get married on a beach in a Christian ceremony.

Is that really how they do things in Thai culture? I didn't realise Christianity played such a large part, can you explain it to me?

Or perhaps you would like more information before making inaccurate assumptions?

Or more likely you will make more inaccurate assumptions and continue to be wrong about almost everything you have posted.

Do you mind me asking if you are married to a Thai? If so how much sin sot did you pay?

Am I also right in assuming that as you live in Thailand then you follow every part of Thai culture?

you were in thailand. period. and i make sure that everything I do does not embarrass my wife and bring shame on her family

I'm sorry but that is a very weird answer.

You are basically saying that anyone that comes to Thailand has to do everything by Thai culture and forget their own culture? I'm really at a loss if that is actually what you mean or whether you are just trying to dig yourself out of a hole.

I know people(both Australian) who had a destination wedding in Thailand, does that mean the husband should have paid sin sod to his wife's family as they were in Thailand?

Does that also mean that if we chose to get married in Australia it would then be alright for her father to pay for it and they would not expect sin sod?

Does it also mean that all the people that come here from other countries and other cultures no longer possess those nationalities and cultures when they are on Thai soil?

Are you personally ashamed of where you come from? That is the only logical answer to your opinions in this thread.

@ ljd,

He will never give you a real answer. He's just trying to justify his own mistake of paying a large sinsod.

I was getting that impression too

[HughJass]

keith u are setting yourself up for a life of misery

if u must get married then do a village wedding to keep the family happy but not an official one

don't build a house in the village...even if u have a lease put on it enable u to live there if u fall out with the family or the wife they will make your life a misery until u move out of THEIR house...u could even get yourself killed

rent or buy a condo in your name BEFORE the marriage takes place as the wife will have no claim on it

put 100k sinsot on the plate and tell them the wedding bash comes out of that money

[khunPer]

To OP:

Yes, a house seems to be an excellent solution instead of dowry – as long as, as you state, you can afford to loose the money. If something goes wrong between you and GF consider the house as gone; being build on family land you would probably not wish to stay there anyway, no matter lease or usufruct rights, and don’t expect it can be sold together with a remaining lease period.

You can own a house on land you do not own (lease or…), when building a new house your proof of ownership to my knowledge is down to:

Building permission in your name (must have your name written on the documents),

Drawings must have your name printed on each drawing – the drawings used for building permission, stamped and returned to you – or at least at the cover page (normally the name will be on each of the drawings),

Keeping all construction contracts, money transfers, receipts and like paperwork from construction as proof, preferably all with your name on,

House Book with your name (the yellow House Book) shall state something like “Master of House” in Thai, and any name in a blue House Book (for Thai nationals) shall not state any as House Master.

You can make a Last Will in Thailand, if you wish to state the house is going to you GF. If you intend to live your retirement senior-life in Thailand, it may be wise to make a Thai Will for any assets in Thailand, and a another Will in your homeland for any assets left there.

»Has anyone got any positive or negative views on my plans as I can only see it would be a positive move. Yes of course she could dump me after the house…«

Yes, that is always a risk – a wife "at home" can also dump the husband and take half (or more) – but if you keep your “Dowry investment” at a level you can afford to loose, it’s in my opinion always worth giving it (Thai relationship) a try…

Another possibility is to build a house away from village on land leased or whatever from 3^rd party, that may make your investment safer, but then the “dowry-idea” has gone; means a lot to Thais to have a new house in village…

Wish you good luck…

[keithkarmann]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

keith u are setting yourself up for a life of misery

if u must get married then do a village wedding to keep the family happy but not an official one

don't build a house in the village...even if u have a lease put on it enable u to live there if u fall out with the family or the wife they will make your life a misery until u move out of THEIR house...u could even get yourself killed

rent or buy a condo in your name BEFORE the marriage takes place as the wife will have no claim on it

put 100k sinsot on the plate and tell them the wedding bash comes out of that money

I know where you are coming from but I could not live in a condo. There are several reasons to build the house and one of the reasons is to save money if I am being optomistic and hopefully my relationship will last I will eventually recover the money spent on the house as I will not have to pay rent. I will not start to build the house for a few months and take about 2 years to build, by that time I will have been with my future wife for about four years. Yes the relationship could end at any time between now and the house been completed or anytime after that. I know that in those four years I would have spent probably more on beer and women than it would cost to build the house and I would have probably killed myself through alcohol abuse or worse.

Secondly I will have a project that will keep me occupied for the foreseeable future,it is important that us seniors keep our minds active. If I truly lust (sorry love) my girlfriend and hopefully she loves me a little then we can have a future together. I guess building too close to the family could be a problem but I will have explosive charges built into the concrete pillars in the event the family try to move in if our relationship ends.

I guess none of us knows what will happen in the future but where would we be if we did not take chances in life. Yes I could carry on renting for the rest of my life here in Thailand but through all my adult life I have always favoured home ownership but I agree that owning property can give you problems in Thailand.

I have met farangs who have lost many millions of bahts through Thai relationships and they have been left with nothing but with me I hope I get the balance right and take the risk that I may lose with this venture but at the end of the day I will still have a decent amount left.

[Ozybear]

Sinsod is paid all the time. The important thing is for it to be shown at the wedding. Often arrangements are made to show it at the wedding, and then given back to the groom afterwards. Sometimes if the groom does not have the money, the brides parents put up their own money to show at the wedding, and then of course keep it after the wedding. Everyone saves face. Don't let anyone tell you that this does not happen. Believe it or not, just like the rest of the world, some marriages do last forever. Especially when you start in your 60's.

Absolutely correct. In the villages of Isaan its all about face and honour. If you fail to pay enough, your bride and her family lose face. As a farang you can obviously afford to pay more and should pay more. The amount is negotiated between you and your wife's family. If she is in good condition you pay more if she has been married many times and worked in a bar for decades you pay less. You can do a deal where the money is displayed and returned but that would be poor form for a rich farang. 10 years ago when I paid for my wife she wanted a four door pickup. I said I could only afford a two door so the deal was that part of the money was returned to me to pay for the more expensive pickup. All very civilised.

And I am sure the vehicle is still in great condition. Pmsl

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I know where you are coming from but I could not live in a condo. There are several reasons to build the house and one of the reasons is to save money if I am being optomistic and hopefully my relationship will last I will eventually recover the money spent on the house as I will not have to pay rent. I will not start to build the house for a few months and take about 2 years to build, by that time I will have been with my future wife for about four years. Yes the relationship could end at any time between now and the house been completed or anytime after that. I know that in those four years I would have spent probably more on beer and women than it would cost to build the house and I would have probably killed myself through alcohol abuse or worse.

Secondly I will have a project that will keep me occupied for the foreseeable future,it is important that us seniors keep our minds active. If I truly lust (sorry love) my girlfriend and hopefully she loves me a little then we can have a future together. I guess building too close to the family could be a problem but I will have explosive charges built into the concrete pillars in the event the family try to move in if our relationship ends.

I guess none of us knows what will happen in the future but where would we be if we did not take chances in life. Yes I could carry on renting for the rest of my life here in Thailand but through all my adult life I have always favoured home ownership but I agree that owning property can give you problems in Thailand.

I have met farangs who have lost many millions of bahts through Thai relationships and they have been left with nothing but with me I hope I get the balance right and take the risk that I may lose with this venture but at the end of the day I will still have a decent amount left.

Rent Vs buy, buying cash takes about 20-25 years before you can claim to be making a profit.

(house rental in Thailand is around 5% of purchase price)

How old are you?

If over 50, not much chance of ever claiming a profit, even if you live there until you die.

Great to hear you can afford the loss,

But how many times can you rinse and repeat.

I know a few guys working on their 3rd house loss.

Edited June 10, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[sanuk711]

KeithKarmann-- A lot of people have asked the question about the status of your Lady---Children / Ex Husband'(s) etc, But you don't seem want to address those questions --is there a reason for that ?

AYJAYDEE, you are a little over the top--- it's not about "Well just ignore my posts then" because you are dominating the subject. I understand you have paid Sin-sot & wish everyone to do the same, but not everyone has these same feelings & certainly they do not feel they are shaming anyone to make this stand--- Not everyone feels that because you live in a country you should except there "norms"-- Customs, if you feel those customs are not correct.

If you lived in an African country would you be OK with a little bit of gentile Mutilation on your daughter when she became of age...Its the custom. ....Watching a lady stoned for having (or being accused) an affair, You OK about the treatment of the cast system in India....1,000s of years of custom behind that, one could go on about customs around the world---its silly to say people should just accept or leave.

If something is wrong in life---rage against it..... don't blindly accept.

KeithKarmann, its really your own decision & you seem to have made it before you posted anyway. My only advice is that you try Village living, its not for everyone, I found I couldn't. & as you say you do not like it now, age will not improve your outlook on it.

Best of luck anyway