How to Wai properly - as suggested by a Thai.

[shadmo63]

Good video. nice to know and don't look like a fool. ONLY!!!!!! the higher status thing is a load of sheit! they should abandon this crap of people believing they are of higher status. I will never submit to the idea of someone else feeling higher than me, exept maybe the king of thailand and the king of holland. For the rest FCK you with your false pretentions

judging by your post, most here are higher than you

@myluckythai - your exept line completely contradicts everything else you have to say.

Better get used to it,Thai society is built around respect for higher/lower older/younger pee/nong. It doesn't lower you to give respect; quite the opposite it shows you have a little bit of cultural awareness and sensitivity,...when in Rome... If you're gonna live here at a minimum you better get used to wai-ing the boss and the wife/gf's parents. Let me guess - you're an Aussie?

[Seastallion]

Here is a Cultural challenge ... 'why' or what is the origin of the 'Hand Shake' ?

... no looking on the net though!

.

I was told it was symbolic that your sword hand was empty.

[Johnniey]

Question:

If I want to properly wai and have some bags in my hands, is it ok to wai whilst holding the bags?

Yes it i ok and I have done it frequently.

I often wai but the important thing is to know HOW and WHEN to wai properly so that you can if needed.

[Johnniey]

I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

I have waied other foriengers, including Westerners.

Is it pathetic to wai Chinese or Indian people?

I have lived here and been married to a Thai for over quarter of a century and know other long-term expats who have integrated into Thai society somewhat. If we meet in a restaurant we all wai each other. I wai my children when they wai me, is this pathetic? Who the hell are you to say what is pathetic?

[David48]

Johnny ... interesting.

[transam]

I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

I have waied other foriengers, including Westerners.

Is it pathetic to wai Chinese or Indian people?

I have lived here and been married to a Thai for over quarter of a century and know other long-term expats who have integrated into Thai society somewhat. If we meet in a restaurant we all wai each other. I wai my children when they wai me, is this pathetic? Who the hell are you to say what is pathetic?

I consider it the same as shaking hands, let folk know l am not a problem and a friend...........

And nooooooo, I don't at the Tesco's teller.......

[raybal5]

I've seen farangs wai-ing bar ladies 40 years younger than themselves.

Yeah. it's easier than saying "I'll respect you in the morning"

[T_Dog]

I am on a Wai fest today, as at a government organised conference.

Still find it a hilarious that see tourists and we xpats waing bar staff, other westerners and security guards.

Good thread though.

Yep. Don't wai service staff. But do wai back other people that you MIGHT respect. Always wai people that you DO respect. If in doubt, don't wai. So the bottom line is don't over-wai, wai people you respect, or that you want something from. Sure beats shaking hands though!

[spectrumisgreen]

You could have warned about the subliminal messaging. I kept hearing Miss Mod's voice in my head. "HD. you WILL give me a baby" over and over....

No.. go on, admit it.. you kept hearing your OWN voice in your head, 'Please let me follow you home, Miss M...'!

<< ps: is this way ok? or is this one any better/ more appropriate? >>

[marko kok prong]

I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

I have waied other foriengers, including Westerners.

Is it pathetic to wai Chinese or Indian people?

I have lived here and been married to a Thai for over quarter of a century and know other long-term expats who have integrated into Thai society somewhat. If we meet in a restaurant we all wai each other. I wai my children when they wai me, is this pathetic? Who the hell are you to say what is pathetic?

Possibly because this is a FORUM,where one voices their opinion,a fact you seem to have overlooked.

[spectrumisgreen]

Thanks, David, great video... should be mandatory on all international flights to Thailand... maybe instead of the boring security presentations ;-)

I hope, you never come across an emergency during your flights and then I will tell you what is more important, how to save your life or how to wai.

Agreed!! I can see the thinking behind it being a nice 'cultural awareness' video for folks flying into Thailand, but instead of 'boring' security videos???.. 'Whoops we're about to crash land/ are losing cabin pressure, where exactly are the oxygen masks/ lifejackets and where and should I head for if I survive (and how should I have been sitting/ positioning myself to better my chances in the first place?).. well, nevermind at least I can wai properly in heaven!.. do Buddhists go to heaven?.. my God, was that even in the video???!!!"...

[spectrumisgreen]

I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

I have waied other foriengers, including Westerners.

Is it pathetic to wai Chinese or Indian people?

I have lived here and been married to a Thai for over quarter of a century and know other long-term expats who have integrated into Thai society somewhat. If we meet in a restaurant we all wai each other. I wai my children when they wai me, is this pathetic? Who the hell are you to say what is pathetic?

I consider it the same as shaking hands, let folk know l am not a problem and a friend........... alt=thumbsup.gif>

And nooooooo, I don't at the Tesco's teller....... alt=facepalm.gif>

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Marko, Kok or Prong? (same thing isn't it?!).. yep definately think you're being a bit of an prong telling folks what's pathetic, AND the fact you only really wai if you absolutely feel you must, like to get your visa sorted!! I guess to you I must also be one of these pathetic foreigners as I sometimes (though not always) tend towards a wai when I first meet someone in Thailand. Thais I would always wai on first meet, then as seems appropriate afterwards (especially if re-encountering them after a while and/ or thanking them and/ or departing from them after a get-together. It's called RESPECT I'm pretty sure, and not responding to a wai (if you just don't generally wai at all then I don't think I'm out of order in assuming this fundamentally unsociable attitude includes how you feel about wai-ing back to wais!!) then that is for sure one of the most instantly disrespectful things anyone could not do before a Thai national. My own wai-ing can extend without even second-thought otherwise to a first-meet with those of any nationality or denomination, as in this land where wai's are simply part of the culture and normal every day life, as we all know. As I've been here 7 years (no, not so long as many other foreigners!), I think my respect for the culture, even if some aspects of the governing/ needfully driving/ using forces at be still drive me periodically a little crazy, is simply where it should be, present and guided by an awareness of those 'everyday' people, their evident status and their/ our environment.. even at the Tesco (or 7-11/ Big C etc etc!) teller if he/ she's particularly helpful or they wai me first. More than this, I wai the fact we wai, ok mai?

Edited June 12, 2014 by spectrumisgreen

[Swiss1960]

Thanks, David, great video... should be mandatory on all international flights to Thailand... maybe instead of the boring security presentations ;-)

I hope, you never come across an emergency during your flights and then I will tell you what is more important, how to save your life or how to wai.

Agreed!! I can see the thinking behind it being a nice 'cultural awareness' video for folks flying into Thailand, but instead of 'boring' security videos???.. 'Whoops we're about to crash land/ are losing cabin pressure, where exactly are the oxygen masks/ lifejackets and where and should I head for if I survive (and how should I have been sitting/ positioning myself to better my chances in the first place?).. well, nevermind at least I can wai properly in heaven!.. do Buddhists go to heaven?.. my God, was that even in the video???!!!"...

Pussies... No Risk, No Fun..

[bkkgooner]

I do not wai now or ever, I do not let my son/daughter wai me, it is not MY culture, I live in Thailand only. Showing deference (not respect) to someone over your age is archaic, if you want to show some respect, help an old person out if they need it, not just chuck up a wai and be on your way. Plus all you who bow like Japanese, Wai like Thais just look foolish. Its not respecting their culture at all, you are not Thai nor Japanese, we shake hands, we show respect in our speech. Period.

Oz

Nothing foolish in it at all, if you are an immigrant you should be willing to try and integrate yourself into being part of that society.

It's your choice if you don't want to do it but to call the rest of us foolish is utter nonsense.

[spectrumisgreen]

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I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

A friend of mine is trying to encourage the fist bump as a healthy alternative to the handshake.

...

Lots of disagreements and holier-than-thous over wai-ing, but I think it is more pathetic to come down with the flu or worse from shaking hands than to wai a farang, actually. It's certainly sad to carry hand towels or a bottle of hand cleanser. At least the wai is sensible.

A friend of mine is trying to encourage the fist bump as a healthy alternative to the handshake.

I don't wai anybody except for the old folks, grandmas and grandpas. Besides that most Thais would rather shake a farang's hand upon greeting.

No.

.

I wai the fact Thais, and we if immerse ourselves even just a bit (a toe in perhaps.. but careful as feet are considered 'dirty' in Buddhism!), wai.. ok mai? When in Rome and all that, even though I wouldn't be hypocritical enough to claim I carry this through in everything.. we all have our own 'home' creature comforts and mine's usually cooking and eating western food.. but this isn't 'Little England/ Britain' or any other outreach of one of our 'farang' countries, we're in someone else's back yard, whichever way we look at it or we try to think of ourselves!! And no, Thais wouldn't rather shake a farang's hand than wai, even if they enjoy our handshakes.. they'd rather we wai'd them THEN shook hands (unless those particular folks you meet/ have met are of the mind that it gives them an 'out' on wai-ing with you because they're into trying somehow to be what they aren't - 'westerners' - anyway!).. As we will all have experienced, many Thais do enjoy the western 'touch' but it works both ways, so there's no reason why (that word again!) we all shouldn't openly demonstrate such a small but not insignificant act of respect, each of us from our own respective, and hopefully respectful, parts of the world... (So, for my way of thinking anyway.. Why wai? Why not wai?!.. Each to their own, but hey, why not go for it, it really won't do any harm, I'm sure.. certainly ain't 'pathetic', even to wai your fellow farangs, or anyone else whatever nationality, on occasion (I sometimes do it without even thinking, first-meet!) as has been 'quoted' by someone who clearly only wants to do 'sociable' in their own time and specifically chosen company, or 'be seen to do the right thing' if it gets them something back (visa)!.. 'Sorry, but this ain't your party', is all I can say to that, '..but thanks for coming, anyway.. kind of...' oh yeah, and.. !!)...

Edited June 12, 2014 by spectrumisgreen

[shadmo63]

I suppose not returning a wai is the farang equivalent of not shaking someone's hand when it's offered, which is an overt rude snub. But what's the wai equivalent of the awful soft dead fish handshake?

[hanno]

I talked about this with my (Thai) partner yesterday. She absolutely Wais service staff, 7-11 clerks, and the like if the wai her. She says, and I agree, that it would be rude not to and sort of show that she is to good for those people. I follow her advice as she has been Thai considerably longer than most people on this forum.

[spermwhale]

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I wai to the immigration bloke doing me visa,that's about it,i have done it at the temple the few times i have gone,but otherwise i don't,the most pathetic thing is westerners wai-ing to other westererners.

Lots of disagreements and holier-than-thous over wai-ing, but I think it is more pathetic to come down with the flu or worse from shaking hands than to wai a farang, actually. It's certainly sad to carry hand towels or a bottle of hand cleanser. At least the wai is sensible.

A friend of mine is trying to encourage the fist bump as a healthy alternative to the handshake.

I don't wai anybody except for the old folks, grandmas and grandpas. Besides that most Thais would rather shake a farang's hand upon greeting.

No.

.

In my experience, I say yes. I go to plenty of business meetings and I learned a long time ago that when i tried to wai, they were quick to extend their hand. They don't expect farang to wai.

[Gecko123]

Folks:

All I can say is that based on my experience it’s the sincerity of the gesture which counts, and every Thai I have ever wai-ed has always shown appreciation for the gesture.

For anyone new to Thailand who might feel confused about when to wai based on this forum thread: There is little to be concerned about. Wai-ing is done to greet, to express gratitude, upon entering someone’s house, to congratulate people and to show respect. Thais are laid-back and easy-going. I don't know where this idea came from that Thais wai to convey that another person is “superior” to them. I asked a handful of Thai people whether this was ever the case, and they all vehemently shook their heads in disagreement. Showing respect to someone doesn't mean "I think you are better than me." I also have found that observing this etiquette unquestionably does pay dividends. It is appreciated, it conveys a sense of humbleness and respect which is valued, it sets a positive tone for the interaction to follow, and it helps put people at ease.

In my opinion a Thai would have to be unbelievably catty to fault a visitor for improperly wai-ing them. In all my years of coming to Thailand, I have never once seen an odd look, a raised eyebrow, a rolled eye, a smirk, or heard an under-the-breath catty comment, had a behind-the-back comment relayed back to me, been told it’s not necessary, or been given the slightest clue whatsoever that the gesture was anything other than appreciated. Thais are very proud of their culture. What visitor to Thailand hasn’t been eagerly asked by a Thai if they like Thailand? Thais are pleased when visitors show an appreciation for their culture, music, language and food. Based on my experience, they unequivocally appreciate the gesture. Thais value social cohesion and are inclusive by nature. This doesn’t make them mindless conformists, or fawning sycophants.

I think some of the disagreement over whether Thais expect foreigners to wai them back or not can be chalked up to where you live and what your lifestyle is. If you live in a highly Westernized section of Thailand (i.e., Sukumvit or Pattaya) I agree that you’re not going to have much occasion to wai Thais. Many of the Thais you are going to encounter in that setting are Westernized, jaded and tourist weary.

But living out in the countryside, it can be a different story entirely. You see the same people day-in and day-out, and you quickly develop a reputation and manners can play an important role in how you are perceived. In my opinion, without overstating its importance, the wai does play a role in foreigner social interaction with Thais.

Here is a list of people I wai: members of my wife’s family, doctors, dentists, police officers, land office officials, local politicians, school principals, teachers, parents of my daughter’s classmates, monks, elder members of my wife’s extended family, parents of any of my friends, anyone who gives me anything or helps me in any way, the host of any social function, anyone who wais me except children and service providers, anyone I am newly introduced to, anyone I have a desire to get off on the right foot with (i.e., immigration officials, Thai hiring managers, anyone who I am going to enter into a negotiation with or attempt to resolve a conflict with, etc.) Even a service provider who I have conversed with more than briefly or who has provided noteworthy service I will return a wai to. Really, what's the harm?

If I was a “fresh off the boat” new arrival in town, it’s true that most Thais would shrug it off if I failed to wai someone back. But having been here for 10+ years everyone locally knows that I am familiar with the etiquette of when to wai people, and if I suddenly refused to return a wai, there is definitely a risk that it might be unfavorably noted or commented upon. I would go so far as to say that if I (as a foreigner) wai-ed a Thai I knew in town and I got the feeling that they had refused to return the gesture intentionally, I would likely consider whether this was a deliberate snub.

For those who say the Thai wai and the western handshake have nothing in common, all I can say is:

Foreigners shake hands when they meet and part company; Thais wai when they meet and part.

Foreigners shake hands to congratulate one another; Thais wai to congratulate one another.

Foreigners shake hands to express gratitude; Thais wai to express gratitude.

Foreigners shake hands to express respect; Thais wai to express respect.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.

[mesquite]

Folks:

All I can say is that based on my experience it’s the sincerity of the gesture which counts, and every Thai I have ever wai-ed has always shown appreciation for the gesture.

For anyone new to Thailand who might feel confused about when to wai based on this forum thread: There is little to be concerned about. Wai-ing is done to greet, to express gratitude, upon entering someone’s house, to congratulate people and to show respect. Thais are laid-back and easy-going. I don't know where this idea came from that Thais wai to convey that another person is “superior” to them. I asked a handful of Thai people whether this was ever the case, and they all vehemently shook their heads in disagreement. Showing respect to someone doesn't mean "I think you are better than me." I also have found that observing this etiquette unquestionably does pay dividends. It is appreciated, it conveys a sense of humbleness and respect which is valued, it sets a positive tone for the interaction to follow, and it helps put people at ease.

In my opinion a Thai would have to be unbelievably catty to fault a visitor for improperly wai-ing them. In all my years of coming to Thailand, I have never once seen an odd look, a raised eyebrow, a rolled eye, a smirk, or heard an under-the-breath catty comment, had a behind-the-back comment relayed back to me, been told it’s not necessary, or been given the slightest clue whatsoever that the gesture was anything other than appreciated. Thais are very proud of their culture. What visitor to Thailand hasn’t been eagerly asked by a Thai if they like Thailand? Thais are pleased when visitors show an appreciation for their culture, music, language and food. Based on my experience, they unequivocally appreciate the gesture. Thais value social cohesion and are inclusive by nature. This doesn’t make them mindless conformists, or fawning sycophants.

I think some of the disagreement over whether Thais expect foreigners to wai them back or not can be chalked up to where you live and what your lifestyle is. If you live in a highly Westernized section of Thailand (i.e., Sukumvit or Pattaya) I agree that you’re not going to have much occasion to wai Thais. Many of the Thais you are going to encounter in that setting are Westernized, jaded and tourist weary.

But living out in the countryside, it can be a different story entirely. You see the same people day-in and day-out, and you quickly develop a reputation and manners can play an important role in how you are perceived. In my opinion, without overstating its importance, the wai does play a role in foreigner social interaction with Thais.

Here is a list of people I wai: members of my wife’s family, doctors, dentists, police officers, land office officials, local politicians, school principals, teachers, parents of my daughter’s classmates, monks, elder members of my wife’s extended family, parents of any of my friends, anyone who gives me anything or helps me in any way, the host of any social function, anyone who wais me except children and service providers, anyone I am newly introduced to, anyone I have a desire to get off on the right foot with (i.e., immigration officials, Thai hiring managers, anyone who I am going to enter into a negotiation with or attempt to resolve a conflict with, etc.) Even a service provider who I have conversed with more than briefly or who has provided noteworthy service I will return a wai to. Really, what's the harm?

If I was a “fresh off the boat” new arrival in town, it’s true that most Thais would shrug it off if I failed to wai someone back. But having been here for 10+ years everyone locally knows that I am familiar with the etiquette of when to wai people, and if I suddenly refused to return a wai, there is definitely a risk that it might be unfavorably noted or commented upon. I would go so far as to say that if I (as a foreigner) wai-ed a Thai I knew in town and I got the feeling that they had refused to return the gesture intentionally, I would likely consider whether this was a deliberate snub.

For those who say the Thai wai and the western handshake have nothing in common, all I can say is:

Foreigners shake hands when they meet and part company; Thais wai when they meet and part.

Foreigners shake hands to congratulate one another; Thais wai to congratulate one another.

Foreigners shake hands to express gratitude; Thais wai to express gratitude.

Foreigners shake hands to express respect; Thais wai to express respect.

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.

Sounds like it works for you.

For me, I follow the Chinese tourist model and simply yell at them, followed by some spitting (depending on my mood).