Missing British Children In Thailand

[kango59]

i have the custody of my daughter as well, even though that should be safe, its always a threat. and a concern.

my initial thoughts here are , like any good mother, !! who has agreed to give away there children. like mine did. that they will do this to prove to the kids its not giving them back voluntarily.

for certain the children will be confused, hurt, and feel separation all over again. once returned.

my feelings for the dad are have patience, stay calm, and it will hopefully work out ok. just hope and pray it never happens to me. best wishes.

[slygeeza]

sad thing about these cases is that nobody ever cares what the kids want so it turns into way for the parents to try and take revenge against each other

[Baerboxer]

They are with their mother, they are late back, but hardly 'missing'. I am sure the separation from her children must be difficult for her,

Totally agree!

Read the report. The mother carefully removed sim cards from phones and iPad so they couldn't be traced.

Late back - do you really think that? Or does she have no intention of returning them?

As distressing as all domestics are, the father has legal custody and has brought them up. She is creating problems for the children and is breaking the law if she does not return them.

Maybe just a tad selfish.

Edited June 18, 2014 by Baerboxer

[AnotherOneAmerican]

They are with their mother, they are late back, but hardly 'missing'. I am sure the separation from her children must be difficult for her,

I would be interested to know how long you feel someone has to disappear for before they are considered missing? Late back to me is usually a few hours

In the USA, if you are a couple of hours late back from agreed contact, without a really really good excuse, you will be arrested.

As their mobiles have been deliberately disabled, it would be considered abduction.

[Baerboxer]

hopefully they are returned when she runs out of money, and that she has enough common sense (or moral, which seems unlikely however) not to sell them...

Ooy vay, are you on something? Is this what you did?.Ever think, as she is the Mother, that she loves her children so much, that she would do anything to be with them , incuding, ignoring the Courts order. Boy, get a fecken life.

And why did the courts award custody to the father 4 years ago?

I don't know so I won't speculate. Nor will I accept the tripe that mothers always love their kids and make the best single parent.

[djhotsox]

To have sole custody of your children is not an easy task in any court I would imagine. I have joint custody of my son but I also have what is called (in Canada anyways) "Care and control". That means that my son lives with me (we are in BKK, ex-wife in Canada (not Thai)) and I am responsible for his upbringing and daily decisions affecting his life. But with major decisions his mother still gets a say in the matter as she is still a custodial parent.

So I would think that for this mother in question to give up custody entirely there either was 1) something terribly wrong with her lifestyle or (2) she was paid off by the father to do so.

Either way, I hope the children are safe and this matter sorted out quickly for their sake.

[Basil B]

This is a difficult one, I always think a child is best with a mother, but then this is not always the case, I seem to recall also in the UK a child over 14 is also consulted over who he or she wishes to live with.

In this instance the children have been with their farther in the UK for a number of years receiving a UK education and for them to return to a school under the Thai education and language system will be very disruptive for their education, I would imagine the youngest child does not even understand spoken Thai.

And I would have the same views if the farther had run away with the children.

[coma]

Moral of the story ? Don't get involved with Pattaya girls.

[Kan Win]

We can confirm that we have copies of divorce agreements, recording sole custody of the children to the father, issued in a Thai court and translated into English, together with proof that the children entered Thailand on British passports and that those documents remain with the father to this day.

So what do you all think?

Win

Edited June 18, 2014 by Kan Win

[Basil B]

Moral of the story ? Don't get involved with Pattaya girls.

These situations happen in most countries, probably many who find themselves in these situations would in hindsight have wished they had done more to save their relationships rather than walk away from them.

[Kan Win]

HeavyDrinker, on 18 Jun 2014 - 18:43, said:

Blimey! spare us the stupid opinions expressed here about people no one knows.

what would be of more value than the nonsense posted here thus far would be for every member to keep this post and the photos there in close to hand and keep their eyes peeled no matter where you are. There is a time and a place for buffoonery and the plain idiocy on display here and this thread isn't the place.

I will keep me eyes peeled if they should come to Kan.

Thank you for the heads up on this one HeavyDrinker

Win

[metisdead]

Replies to previously removed posts have now been removed.

[UbonRatch]

Moral of the story ? Don't get involved with Pattaya girls.

probably many who find themselves in these situations would in hindsight have wished they had done more to save their relationships rather than walk away from them.

Not on your Nelly. Perceptions can, and should, change after behavioural change of the partner... e.g the partner becomes alcoholic or a drug user after some years.

No point in co-dependency..... when one partner is willing to sacrifice to make changes to save one's self and child/children exposed to such abuse.

Let's not take this into a psychology discussion neither.

[sgtsabai]

Having had my son kidnapped by their mother and her father, hidden away and being told I would never see again I know pretty much how this father feels. It is possibly the worst feeling in the world. I had taken my 3 yr. old son at the mother request after she called me (she in Texass and I in Florida at the time) and told me she just beat the crap out of him with a belt and he just stood there, took it and then said "<deleted> you". I was there the next day. Being an idiot I brought him home for xmas for a visit and the same as occurred to this father happened. It took a week for another USMC and I to find him, we took him back. She made and her father paid numerous attempts for 'something' to happen to me and to kidnap him again, they all failed (I packed heat back in those days), once when he at the age of 6 took a baseball bat after those that came for him while at school. He went to school with an armed guard for many months and the New Mexico courts/law enforcement and local Mexican power families finally put a stop to it. People you have no idea what that did to myself and him. Do not doubt this father is going through the same kind of hell.

[coma]

Moral of the story ? Don't get involved with Pattaya girls.

probably many who find themselves in these situations would in hindsight have wished they had done more to save their relationships rather than walk away from them.

Not on your Nelly. Perceptions can, and should, change after behavioural change of the partner... e.g the partner becomes alcoholic or a drug user after some years.

No point in co-dependency..... when one partner is willing to sacrifice to make changes to save one's self and child/children exposed to such abuse.

Let's not take this into a psychology discussion neither.

So true UbonRatch.

[Dogmatix]

The same old movie again. Tourist on two week holiday meets Thai woman who is working in Pattaya (Patong, Samui or Bangkok). He knows little about her and they can barely communicate in pijin English but, feeling rather unloved at home and seduced by the balmy atmosphere and holiday mood, he decides to throw caution to the winds and forget the fact that they are not lovers at all but actually parties to a commercial transaction. He starts to believe his own fantasy she becomes an image projected in his own mind. He falls in love with that image and starts a family with the woman. Within a year or two the scales finally fall from his eyes and five years later.........

[unanimosity]

just hope this woman will bring back the girls to the father ....safe

Safe is the operative word. One never knows but one might expect that those kids are being filled with stories and strategies that evoke sympathy and cooperation under whatever pretenses, and that this bloke's life will not be the same for some time, perhaps ever. Even when the kids and family are intact, at least some Thai moms are said to bend the kids minds and induce all manner of subterfuge with the dad being the recipient of deceptive schemes.

[unanimosity]

The same old movie again. Tourist on two week holiday meets Thai woman who is working in Pattaya (Patong, Samui or Bangkok). He knows little about her and they can barely communicate in pijin English but, feeling rather unloved at home and seduced by the balmy atmosphere and holiday mood, he decides to throw caution to the winds and forget the fact that they are not lovers at all but actually parties to a commercial transaction. He starts to believe his own fantasy she becomes an image projected in his own mind. He falls in love with that image and starts a family with the woman. Within a year or two the scales finally fall from his eyes and five years later.........

See if you can get immigration to print this on every visa.

[wealth]

as soon this is in local news and in Thai give it three days to find them. Almost guaranteed.

[TommyDee]

Replies to previously removed posts have now been removed.

for those who condemn the father.. he was in a long term relationship and marriage and lived here, at no point have we suggested she was ever in the bar industry, the children have now been missing for 18 days and the divorce agreement of which we have a copy specifically gives custody fo the children to the father and is signed by the mother and witnessed, for this to go into effect sh would have had to confirm this to the judge. the children are Brtish passport holders.

armed with that information, after perhaps misreading what we wrote , we hope you will share this post with friends away from Thaivisa and perhaps aid the man to get his children back.

Kind regards

tommy

[Dogmatix]

as soon this is in local news and in Thai give it three days to find them. Almost guaranteed.

And Mr Day will be asked to pay a ransom.

[NanLaew]

...

Mother living in Pattaya? Sorry but that's one strike to start with...

...

And how do you measure your morality? With a dip stick?

[Dogmatix]

Replies to previously removed posts have now been removed.

for those who condemn the father.. he was in a long term relationship and marriage and lived here, at no point have we suggested she was ever in the bar industry, the children have now been missing for 18 days and the divorce agreement of which we have a copy specifically gives custody fo the children to the father and is signed by the mother and witnessed, for this to go into effect sh would have had to confirm this to the judge. the children are Brtish passport holders.

armed with that information, after perhaps misreading what we wrote , we hope you will share this post with friends away from Thaivisa and perhaps aid the man to get his children back.

Kind regards

tommy

With due respect it is unlikely that an English language forum will turn up anything, regardless of the parents' respective backgrounds, the children's passports or the legal details of the divorce. You need to get the story into Thai media and offer a reward.

[LuckyLew]

Me thinks there is more to the story

Why did she feel a need to take the kids?

Refused or not allowed to see them?

Sent from my GT-N5100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[NanLaew]

...

So I would think that for this mother in question to give up custody entirely there either was 1) something terribly wrong with her lifestyle or (2) she was paid off by the father to do so.

...

And this is based on your personal experience. In Canada. With a Canadian.

Or too much time listening to the harpies on TV?

Maybe, just maybe at the time of the custody hearing, she was in a real dark place in her life and loved her kids so much that she knew the best place was with their father and did not contest the award but rather endorsed it. Is that too much of a stretch or are all females that ever lived in Pattaya a totally lost cause?

I would sense that there was little or no acrimony in this custody award as the children were allowed to communicate freely with their mother while they were growing up in the UK. Furthermore, the father didn't appear to have any issues with them spending time 'alone' with their mother. He appears to have been blind-sided by her actions, that's all.

[wedders]

The original article mentioned that custody was awarded by the Thai courts. If that is accurate then it suggests that that there was some disagreement at the time, because the Thai system allows not only divorce but custody arrangements to be made amicably at the Ampur. I was told by a legal adviser at the time of my divorce that my settlement - via the Ampur only, and awarding full custody to me - was the important and irreversible document. I had asked my lawyer because I wasn't sure if the Ampur stamped settlement carried the same weight as a court document, with custody awarded by a judge. It does. More, in fact.

I think there has been some misunderstanding by posters here about how it works in Thailand, ie the assumption that a divorce has to go through the courts. It doesn't. Obviously when an amicable settlement can be arrived at by both parties, with the divorce costing 50 baht or so at the Ampur, no one would choose to spend pots of money validating a divorce through the courts.

I can just imagine what the father must be going through. Hell. That doesn't imply a lack of sympathy for the mother, I'm just recognising, from experience, what it is like when you have brought up a child day in day out as a single father, and how I would feel in his shoes.

[wealth]

how did the kids travel? Can it be that she left the country with them? Let's say to Norway for example?

[dippity pippity]

Must be a good reason that custody was awarder to the Western father instead of the Thai mother by the Thai courts.

This isn't going to help her in the future.

Good luck to the father and hopefully the girls will be returned to the proper parent soon.

[khaowong1]

They are with their mother, they are late back, but hardly 'missing'. I am sure the separation from her children must be difficult for her,

And is it less difficult for the father?

[wolf5370]

This is a difficult one, I always think a child is best with a mother, but then this is not always the case, I seem to recall also in the UK a child over 14 is also consulted over who he or she wishes to live with.

In this instance the children have been with their farther in the UK for a number of years receiving a UK education and for them to return to a school under the Thai education and language system will be very disruptive for their education, I would imagine the youngest child does not even understand spoken Thai.

And I would have the same views if the farther had run away with the children.

Actually in the UK the kid can decide from 14, but can give input (and their preference if any) from about 7 years old. The court can of course overall any of it. Courts in the UK usually gove joint care and control (as used to be called custody) and residency with the mother - especially for pre-school (i.e.5 and under), unless there is reason enough not to (danger to the children of whatever type).

Here in Thailand, mothers almost always get custody, even when in the west there would be question (like being a prostitute or drug addict - even a serving prisoner - grandparents heve them in the interim!). Custody only usually goes to the father if the mother has signed off on it - or for very serious reasons.

Mother's signing off after payment, says much about the worth their children have to them - all monetary - and have no right to reneg on it IMO. As a father I would not sign my kids over for all the money in the world - what real parent would?

Lets hope the kids get spotted and reported soon - and safely returned to the father. One thing is for certain, she has kissed her right to access goodbye for good!