ToYoungToRetire Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) I'm not gay but I have a gay friend who is a bit of an introvert. He's in a slump right now, his father died a while back and he's still dealing with it. I think he could use a vacation and I'm trying to talk him into taking one. He's also a bit of a homebody and has never left the USA. I guess you would call him a bottom bear? I think he's within a few years +/- of 40. He's not rich by anymeans, but can afford a reasonable Vacation. I've mentioned to him that Thailand touristy spots seem to have a lot of ladyboys which must mean there's a lot of gay men right? Anyhow I'm looking for suggestions, forums, locations, cruises and ect. He's mild mannered and bit shy so nothing to over the top... Not just thailand locations.. anywhere in the world... Edited July 5, 2014 by ToYoungToRetire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) Not enough info. What types of leisure activities does he enjoy? Would he prefer a big city, beach, or mountain, etc.? Is he looking for a holiday of gay abandon specifically as the focus?Are there ethnic groups that appeal to him (or don't)? What is his ethnicity? There are hundreds of possible choices all over the world, but with the info you gave, impossible to give a good tip. Yes there are lots of ladyboys in Thailand but they wouldn't be of interest to a typical mainstream gay men. Gay men generally like MEN. Clear enough? Mostly STRAIGHT men go for ladyboys, for a walk on the wild side, or whatever. There are the usual percentages of regular gay men in Thailand ... and frankly most would not be interested in a man as you describe without certain incentives. Wink wink nod nod. A danger for a man as you describe going to Thailand is becoming ADDICTED (it's quite common) ... maybe that would good for him and maybe that would be his ruin, but consider the warning. Edited July 5, 2014 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToYoungToRetire Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Not enough info. What types of leisure activities does he enjoy? Would he prefer a big city, beach, or mountain, etc.? Is he looking for a holiday of gay abandon? If so, what age group is he attracted to? Are there ethnic groups that appeal to him (or don't)? What is his ethnicity? There are hundreds of possible choices all over the world, but with the info you gave, impossible to give a good tip. He's a bit of a computer geek. He loves watching movies and he listens to heavy metal music, goes to more concerts than anyone I've ever known... He's a bit chubby and not comfortable with his body so I think the beach is out. In the nearly 20 years I've known him he's never once mentioned going to the beach or the moutains. He's not looking for holiday, I'm trying to talk him into one. He's depressed over his fathers death and I think getting out of town and doing something new and fun will help him. He was living with his father when he unexpectedly died from a heart attack, he's still living in the same house (with his fathers things). Age group? 20-50 I think... Latino or White I think is his preference, but he doesnt seem to mind much about race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) I was going to say Puerto Vallarta Mexico, a great gay destination choice for a first trip outside the U.S. But that is the beach. As he isn't a "rice queen" that's less of a lure for Thailand. There's always Canada ... Montreal staying in the gay district with a side trip to Quebec City is so close but foreign enough to be a soft adventure for him. Montreal is famous for having a large number of gay saunas and some are more like socializing clubs/hangouts (people actually talk) than you would expect, and the food being so good, LOTS of chubby gays, even at such places. There is enough English speaking that it won't be a problem and tourists are catered to. Obviously, not in the winter though! Further afield, Buenos Aires Argentina is a fabulous city to visit. If he likes steaks, wine, pastas, and gelato he'll be in heaven, and the mostly European descent men are serious eye candy. It would be a good to learn a smattering of tourism Spanish though. BA is like a European capital but in South America, so in a way you get a two for one, first trip to South America that sort of feels like a first trip to Europe. I still don't really have enough info. Like when he has gone on vacations in the U.S. what kinds of destinations has he enjoyed? Edited July 5, 2014 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthemoon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 So, your friend has never been to Asia and never shown interested in Asians, and you want to send him to Thailand - alone - to cure his depression? Given the culture shock, I don't think this will work. Also, it is a common mistake by straight people to think that lady-boys have anything to do with the gay scene. This makes me wonder how close you really are with your gay friend (let's call him Harvey). Have you ever talked to him about what he wants and likes? I doubt you can persuade him to come to Thailand, it looks like the Americas is more like it. But then: If he is not comfortable with his body, he needs to work on this first. No vacation will help him overcome any depression as long as he does not like himself, as he will take the body with him. He either needs to work on accepting himself as he is, or he needs to change his body (for example through exercise) so that he can like it. That's the core problem here methinks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Chubby gay men can have fun gay holidays. Being chubby is no reason not to travel. But don't go to West Hollywood! Of course a holiday won't cure depression. Depression is complex. I think a travel escape to help move forward from a mourning period is a pretty good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sustento Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 A couple of weeks in Soi Pratuchai should cheer him up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthemoon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 You can have fun regardless of how much you weigh - as long as you like yourself. That was my point. If you don't feel comfortable you need to do something about that - either learn to accept yourself - OR change your body. I never said that chubby men cannot have fun. We don't know Harvey, and we can only speculate whether he'd like a vacation in Thailand after he had never been outside of the US and never been into Asian guys. with the little information we have I doubt it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) I definitely would not suggest Thailand as a first trip outside the USA for a man his age who has never left the so called homeland. If nothing else, the FLIGHT is so bloody long! There are so many options though. I still don't feel enough info has been given to give the best choices. For example, what are some places he has always wanted to go? If none ... well, I would find that a bit odd. As music concerts were mentioned, there are U.S. options for that specific interest such as the New Orleans Jazz Festival, the Jacksonville Florida Jazz Festival, and Austin's South by Southwest. Edited July 6, 2014 by Jingthing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Living in San Francisco is a little like living in a foreign country anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthemoon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Living in San Francisco is a little like living in a foreign country anyway. Especially for people not from the US. scnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthemoon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 As music concerts were mentioned, there are U.S. options for that specific interest such as the New Orleans Jazz Festival, the Jacksonville Florida Jazz Festival, and Austin's South by Southwest. There are heavy metal concerts at the jazz festivals? Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) As music concerts were mentioned, there are U.S. options for that specific interest such as the New Orleans Jazz Festival, the Jacksonville Florida Jazz Festival, and Austin's South by Southwest. There are heavy metal concerts at the jazz festivals? Wow. You got me there. Good catch. Not aware of any heavy metal music festivals off the top of my head , and I can live with the black hole in my life. Edited July 6, 2014 by Jingthing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Living in San Francisco is a little like living in a foreign country anyway. An extremely EXPENSIVE foreign country, that is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToYoungToRetire Posted July 6, 2014 Author Share Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) <script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script> There's always Canada ... Montreal staying in the gay district with a side trip to Quebec City is so close but foreign enough to be a soft adventure for him. I think Montreal sounds perfect thanks, no culture shock but still a slightly different culture. And the trip is easily repeatable if he meets a man out there he wants to see again.. Edited July 6, 2014 by ToYoungToRetire 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ignis Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 something like this ? with like minded people and body shape and there admirers http://www.bearcruises.com/ there are others ships, also bus tours, hotel week/weekends with like minded people also in many places around the world or stay in the USA he may even change his mind about his body shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToYoungToRetire Posted July 6, 2014 Author Share Posted July 6, 2014 He struggles with his weight, his not very active so its hard for him to keep off the weight. I sent him the bear cruises site.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davejones76 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Hi, I suggest you book through www.ezy-go.com. He can choose from behind his desk. Reliable team, excellent support and great tours. They also offers Gay and Straight Tours in other Asia countries. Click here to see the bangkok tour http://www.ezy-go.com/category/Tours-Gay/Thailand/en/ They also make customised tours. Success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerry123 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I guess you would call him a bottom bear mmmmmmmmmm likes moooning???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingthing Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I guess you would call him a bottom bear mmmmmmmmmm likes moooning???? Bears moo? OK ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerry123 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I guess you would call him a bottom bear mmmmmmmmmm likes moooning???? Bears moo? OK ... get your specs out mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironbark Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 As a friend you may think it would be "good" in he got out and about more. But not all gay men are raving party boys. Just like straights there are the quiet, shy, homey types as well and they are quite happy that way. He may not want to come out of his comfort zone. That said I think a walk on the wild side in Phuket would be too big a social adjustment to make. Suggest a gay cruise ship instead. Similar people, everything organised and planned. Sent from my GT-N7100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duanebigsby Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Montreal as suggested, would also be my first choice. don't forget the Comedy Festival! As well, Vancouver on the other side of the country is extremely gay friendly. Fantastic diversity and multicultural. Delicious food from around the world. Go when there is a decent concert on and would be a good choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jack1965 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Listen mate, tell your friend to go to Soi 6 in Pattaya and all his dreams will come true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wotaplonker Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) the Thai visa forum office Christmas party, but please bring a bottle, oi oi!! Edited July 7, 2014 by wotaplonker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goonar Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Right the first thing is men who have relationships with cross gender are not gay. Gay people are just the same as straight people in that we have feelings to. Asia would be a fantastic holiday for him. Take him to Soi 2 or 4 in bkk , to kick off with, you can sit outside and people watch . One bar there us very good , it is called stranger bar , he will meet all walks of life gay or straight . The owners are are welcoming and friendly . Most Thai people are accepting of gay men and women but like anywhere there are homophobics but on the whole gay life in Thailand is fantastic. Quite why you had to say what his sexual preference is , is beyond me .. But hey ho.. I ave found living in Thailand is fantastic and if Thai people like you, they love you. My bf is Thai but I have found straight Thai people on the whole are great! After many years of living and vacationing in Thailand , I will be retiring there in December ! I can't wait! And for the person who describes your friend as a slob, I would say this person has issues of his own and should be ignored for the prat he is! ;-)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 An offensive item and some replies to that post, have been removed, further violations of forum rules and specifically toward any members here will NOT be tolerated. This is a one only, and final warning. 11) Do not post slurs, degrading or overly negative comments directed towards Thailand, specific locations, Thai institutions such as the judicial or law enforcement system, Thai culture, Thai people or any other group on the basis of race, nationality, religion, gender or sexual orientation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToYoungToRetire Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Right the first thing is men who have relationships with cross gender are not gay. Gay people are just the same as straight people in that we have feelings to. Thats a matter of opinion and I respect yours, I certainly was not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. He's definitely not ready for Thailand, I doubt many people are . I mentioned the Gay Cruises to and now I know wny he's never gone on one before, he has a irrational fear of boats. So thats off the list. I am pushing for Montreal due to location and that there will be many english speakers there. I've never been, who knows I may go with him although if I'm heading that direction I'd rather visit Newyork for the first time. I travel where my stomach leads and Newyork is famous for its variety of ethnic food. Thanks Everyone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onthemoon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Right the first thing is men who have relationships with cross gender are not gay. Gay people are just the same as straight people in that we have feelings to. Thats a matter of opinion and I respect yours, I certainly was not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. No; it's a fact, not a matter of opinion: Gay men like men. Ask any gay man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToYoungToRetire Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Right the first thing is men who have relationships with cross gender are not gay. Gay people are just the same as straight people in that we have feelings to. Thats a matter of opinion and I respect yours, I certainly was not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. No; it's a fact, not a matter of opinion: Gay men like men. Ask any gay man. The purpose of this thread wasnt me getting into a debate. I respect your opinion... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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