bernard Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Has anybody any advice to give as to what is the polite Thai way of saying you do not agree to paying the 100,000 + gold to the parents of your intended bride? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dutch Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 first look at some previous topics about dowry. If more questions,then specify a lttile bit and you will get plenty of reactions (again) There is NO golden rule Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouse Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Actually the amount is to be negotiated by the Mother of the bride and an elderly person that represents you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinN Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 I don't know what you are going to do. But my way of a polite refusal would be to say very firmly,GOODBYE. with a smile on my face and thank my lucky stars that I was smart enough to get out while the gettin was good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 first look at some previous topics about dowry.If more questions,then specify a lttile bit and you will get plenty of reactions (again) There is NO golden rule This topic has been discussed and discussed and discussed,... Touchy subject, to say the least,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bernard Posted March 11, 2004 Author Share Posted March 11, 2004 Thanks for the advice. I've viewed all the previous replies on the topic and I get the picture. Thanks especially to you dutch and to Dr PP's consolidated remarks. I'll consider this to be closed now. I know it is an exhausted subject. However, us newbies may not have come across it before. To you senior members it maybe boring old hat stuff. Please have some patience with the newbies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 Please have some patience with the newbies. We have, not only with the new ones but with everybody. You will notice that the ones surviving on any forum are the patient ones,... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bernard Posted March 12, 2004 Author Share Posted March 12, 2004 Thank you bluecat for your patience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 Has anybody any advice to give as to what is the polite Thai way of saying you do not agree to paying the 100,000 + gold to the parents of your intended bride? Mai hai krap! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Thanks for the advice. I've viewed all the previous replies on the topic and I get the picture. Thanks especially to you dutch and to Dr PP's consolidated remarks. I'll consider this to be closed now. I know it is an exhausted subject. However, us newbies may not have come across it before. To you senior members it maybe boring old hat stuff. Please have some patience with the newbies. Bernard...put the topic into search and you will find bulk information. I think the won't pays outnumber the will pays somewhat. It is quite often a big face thing for the family and the money is returned to the bride and groom after the public display of your largesse. Talk it over with the bride to be as well. Be aware that this won't be the first family attack on your purse. Good luck with it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khutan Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 I would be asking of the 100k how much is coming back after the wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Up2U Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Be aware that this won't be the first family attack on your purse. Good luck with it all. Won't be the last, either . Not by a long chalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mig15 Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Can’t someone do up some kind of sliding scale on Excel to work out the appropriate amount? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organic Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 How about: Mai mee satang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chanchao Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 > what is the polite Thai way of saying you do not agree to paying the 100,000 + gold Here you are: ¿Ñ¡ ÍÍ¿¿ì Has this women been married before? Then it becomes real easy. Perhaps less so if she's young, virgin and has a university degree. Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 The best way is to marry a farang lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 my Thai husband agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Please have some patience with the newbies. We have, not only with the new ones but with everybody. You will notice that the ones surviving on any forum are the patient ones,... Does that statement include "The Gentleperson"?... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted March 16, 2004 Share Posted March 16, 2004 Where are you at Bernard ? What are your thoughts right now, and what do you propose to do ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac_39 Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 100,000 B is very cheap , you tight arse. Mac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 100.000 Baht? and some gold ring? Maybe most will be spent anyway for the marriage party..... I think, you should only marry, if you are financially stable and if you can afford some expenses. You should study a bit about Thailand and the customs and culture, if you take a girl from there. Thailand is not like the USA. Thai people take marriage seriously in their lives, especially parents are often worried about the future of their daughters and the own future too, as often nobody cares for the old ones in Thailand. 100.000 Baht and some gold ring sounds me very modest. Maybe you can tell us more about yourself and the girl and the status of her parents. You should offer some care about her parents, like a regular monthly pay to them, if they are old and have no own income. This is the custom in Thailand, especially the oldest daughter has the duty to consider the old parents! If you cannot pay anything for the marriage and if you are unwilling to pay some regular support for their parents, then you should consider, not to marry this Thai girl. There are however many Thai girls who do not have any firm connection with their parents, or for other various reasons do not expect any payments from the husband. Maybe such an independent girl fits you better. Johann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bernard Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 Thank you all for the varied advice. I have spoken with the head man in the village and he basically agrees with me. As do all the monks in the temple. The fact that I have built a house for my wife to be and her children from her previous marriage. Enabled her children to go to a good school. Built a house for her mother and father and bought a pickup for them too. Oh yes, and my intended and I have a lovely daughter together already, seemed to do the trick. Mind you before any of you get the wrong idea, this was all done previously because I truely wanted to do it. Not, to be like many farang I see who are just showing off. Maybe, I have put the cart before the horse. But, that's just me. The amount doesn't matter, it was the principle. Her parents have not asked for any money. Now my future wife has agreed as well. She still thinks I'm keeniow. But, I can live with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markt Posted March 17, 2004 Share Posted March 17, 2004 She still thinks I'm keeniow. But, I can live with that. I do hope that was a joke Bernard. She sounds quite fortunate to be marrying you. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bernard Posted March 17, 2004 Author Share Posted March 17, 2004 Yeah! I know she is only joking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marto Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 The best way is to marry a farang lady. Do you know how to understand if a farang man has spent a lot of time in LOS? 1. He always drinks his beer on ice. 2. He always eats his pizza with sticks. 3. When he meets farang lady on the street he always gives the woman an eye and moans unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marto Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 100,000 B is very cheap , you tight arse.Mac. Hmm... How many buffalos you can buy at this money? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 So.... you have bought them 2 houses and a pickup already... And the problem now is the 100000 baht and some gold? The amount doesn't matter, it was the principle.I don't understand the principle???And for, Yohan, very nice input. "kau jai mak mak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chanchao Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 > So.... you have bought them 2 houses and a pickup already.. > And the problem now is the 100000 baht and some gold? What I find remarkable that the Mrs. still dares to call him 'khee niow' after that!! Some mouth-washing with soap and water would definitely be in order after that. >> The amount doesn't matter, it was the principle. > I don't understand the principle??? I don't know where you're from, but in my culture it's distinctly not-done to buy a wife. Massive loss of face for me. I'm from Western Europe. BTW: For any woman who's been married before (or even has kids!), dowry HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID. People who are claiming "it's Thai culture" in this case are lying. No Thai man is his right mind would pay dowry for used goods. And why are the parents looking to milk this cow twice, so to say?? Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 It is fine to say in my culture it's distinctly not-done to buy a wife. Massive loss of face for me. I'm from Western Europe.but then you say BTW: For any woman who's been married before (or even has kids!), dowry HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID. People who are claiming "it's Thai culture" in this case are lying. No Thai man is his right mind would pay dowry for used goods. And why are the parents looking to milk this cow twice, so to say??At one point you choose not to follow a culture but at the other when it's of self benefit, you use it? Double standard?used goodsReally sad to hear that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meemiathai Posted March 18, 2004 Share Posted March 18, 2004 What I find remarkable that the Mrs. still dares to call him 'khee niow' after that!! Some mouth-washing with soap and water would definitely be in order after that. It's the couple's own business. Pay some respect to other people's wife, guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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