How do Thai parents discipline there children?

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there children?

Kids will be playing in the street with traffic or playing with filthy street water and no one seems to care.

Kids gobble up thousands of snacks and only drink soda. Kids cry and parents just give into the child's wishes to make the crying stop.

It seems to me that it is more important for parents to be there kids friend then it is to instil any discipline for bad behavior.

Maybe so "little Johnny" can take care of them when they are old.

Do they take some toys away? Do they give them a time out?

Sometimes the "mai pen rai" attitude doesn't work when confronted with real danger like FIRE is hot or CARS can run you over.

Edited August 6, 2014 by flyingsaucersarereal

[WhamBam]

I have seen small children hit with a switch (thin branch) in the village. Different p[laces I've seen others have been hollered at. Some slapped across the leg with an open hand. Some others seem to run riot. It all depends on the parent I suppose. A bit like in the U.K. where some parents do it and some don't.

[David48]

"Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there children."

Let's try for ... Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there their children in a way that I was disciplined in the West?

Do you know that a Thai Boy and a Thai Girl will be disciplined and treated differently?

.

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Please explain

[Deacon Bell]

All 66,000,000 Thais are the same, so you should get the exact answer soon.

[benalibina]

Discipline is a part of raising children. Some can, some cant. Like everywhere in the world.

[jarrcbb]

While not completely answering your question, this is a very interesting article.

http://www.nytimes.com/1981/01/05/style/how-china-raises-its-well-behaved-children.html

[khunpa]

I think many Thai-women are just as fantastic mothers, as they are wifes. They do things the best they can, based on their culture, traditions and own upbringing etc.

The place where I see things sometimes go "wrong" is that they often end up being "too good" mothers, meaning that they forget to discipline their children - especially the boys. This means some kids end up as arrogant, spoiled and egoistic youngsters, who then must tackle and suffer from this later in their life.

I believe one of the best qualities in Thai-people is their short term way of thinking. But when it comes to raising children, it becomes a disadvantage for them. Many lack the ability to think forward and properly reflect on how they raise their children. Instead they give them everything they can "here and now", with the belief that this is the best thing for their child.

I have a 17 year old step-son, who can be categorized as one of these "spoiled" Thai-kids. I actually feel sorry for him, because he has all his life been handled with too much care, meaning that real life will be very difficult for him, when he has to tackle that part. And when I look at his male friends, I see the exact same pattern.

I know this can be categorized as a normal thing for teenagers in all countries, however there is a difference here, when comparing to e.g. western countries. Children here are after my opinion mentally way behind in many ways, when it comes to e.g. daily and personal responsibilities etc. And this haunts them for nearly all their life. I often met younger men and women here in their 20s, who still act and behave like young teenagers.

So there is a huge difference in upbringing of boys and girls here. And this is of course very much related to tradition and culture, but also due to a very short term way of thinking. You beat the kid with a stick and 5 minutes after you are giving him sweets. No reflection, no long term thinking and no real plan or structure when it comes to upbringing. And this reflects on nearly everything in Thai society, as sometimes the ability to not fully understand what is right or wrong. The "lose face" concept and lack of personal responsibility also comes from that.

This is of course a generalization and does not go for all Thai-parents. But disciplined and proper upbringing or lack of it, does in my opinion very much reflect on the way society is and how people interact with each other. The ability for e.g. not wanting to take personal responsibly for something or admit personal mistakes, comes from upbringing/education. (or lack of it)

Edited August 7, 2014 by khunpa

[nputman]

Rarely but when they do it is over disciplined.

[samuibeachcomber]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

[Bernard Flint]

I have seen small children hit with a switch (thin branch) in the village. Different p[laces I've seen others have been hollered at. Some slapped across the leg with an open hand. Some others seem to run riot. It all depends on the parent I suppose. A bit like in the U.K. where some parents do it and some don't.

I agree sir

One cannot generalise about kids, but i see the discipline is mainly taking smart phones off them, and sending them to bedroom.

In uk many mother,s and father,s teach kids how to claim dole money

[Bernard Flint]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

WOW,that,s a huge generalisation

[Somsrisonphimai]

If discipline is needed, the kids will get spanked with barehanded or a stick or whatever parents could find at that moment. I got a few slaps when I was growing up.

[samuibeachcomber]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

WOW,that,s a huge generalisation

It was meant to be.

[Bernard Flint]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

WOW,that,s a huge generalisation

It was meant to be.

some thais not all thais, then i agree

[laolover88]

In my experience in Thai villages, they just hit them..in school.too

[Somsrisonphimai]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

[Bluetongue]

All too often I see the onlookers calling out to discipline the child by hitting with the small stick or more rarely the open hand. But I think the true discipline required is on behalf of the parents, usually the mother, in not giving in to tantrums. This is the weakness, every time the child learns he (most often a he) can get what he wants by amping up the tantrum, or sometimes in the case of a girl the big sulk, it's another hurdle for that kid to become a normal balanced individual instead of

the Peter Pan's we see here. I agree with Khun Pa mostly.

[BngkkB]

I was up north for Songkran one year visiting friends. The oldest boy in the group was always running in to the street against his uncles wishes. After a while of watching the uncle yell and the child ignoring him, I asked if I may try something? I was answered with a light laugh and a yes. I walked over to the boy and asked him to follow me. I lead him back to chair in the corner and asked him to sit down. I then told him he would sit there till he could learn to listen to his uncle. He just sat there and watched all his friends have fun. After 10 minutes he went out to play. About 5 minutes later again he was doing the same thing. I called him over and pointed to the chair. He sat another ten minutes. After that he was not going against the uncles wishes.

When I returned the next day the boy was in the chair and the uncle was smiling. I asked what happened and he said he had learned that time outs was a good thing and the boy didn't think it would happen when I was not around. But the uncle kept it up.

[hellohello123]

A girlfriend of mine brought her two year old over, the kid kept on slapping a light stand, every time he would slap it, the lantern shaped thing would bend and a bits of plastic would fall off, after yelling at him not to don't, the third time she slapped him right across the face

I was impressed

That's the only child disciplining I've seen so just ignore me

Edited August 7, 2014 by hellohello123

[geronimo]

A lot of Thai parents misinterpret love as "doing everything for the kids" and so the kid gets spoilt. As far as discipline goes, I think each family is different. Parenting is a hard slog and some people are not good at it!

[hellohello123]

A lot of Thai parents misinterpret love as "doing everything for the kids" and so the kid gets spoilt. As far as discipline goes, I think each family is different. Parenting is a hard slog and some people are not good at it!

Um that's the majority of the generation after baby bloomers in the western world!!!!!!

[EmptyHead]

In my experience, they don't discipline their children at all.

[bifftastic]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

WOW,that,s a huge generalisation

Actually, it's several huge generalisations

[MAJIC]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

WOW,that,s a huge generalisation

So is your nonsense quote below!

"In uk many mother,s and father,s teach kids how to claim dole money"

[Eddy B]

My step-son is generally a good kid as he is still young. We have a time for having fun and a time when he should listen. I have never had to physically hit him, usually just a raised voice and body stance and he knows it's not play time anymore and he responds. He is actually more afraid of his mum because she can keep him in-check just with words. In general because I have taught alot of Thai kids before I have seen some really spoilt little sods and some really nice kids. I never give an inch and they learn to not mess around with me at least but at their own home who knows.

[ozsamurai]

If its such a generalization that Thai don't discipline their children, why do I get looked at like a child abuser when mine throw a wobbly in a public place. Swimming training, 4yo throws a wobbly, won't get out of the pool, we have a shouting match (I don't hit my kids), and all and sundry around, 100 parents look at me as if I've just tracked dog poo onto their carpet. Supermarket the same, so obviously they think my 'time out' methods and refusal to give in to a 'case of the gimmees' tantrum are wrong. If that's the case what are their higher principles of parenting? In my observation 1) Do nothing 2) Beat the kid -- did I miss anything?

Oz

[smokie36]

They are waiting for the farang to set an example and pull out a big stick of course!

[khunpa]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

Believe me, you get a very long way with talking to your kids. Really no need to hit children at all.

My dad beat the shit out of my when I was young. All I learned from that, was to hate and disrespect him.

[Suradit69]

I have seen small children hit with a switch (thin branch) in the village. Different p[laces I've seen others have been hollered at. Some slapped across the leg with an open hand. Some others seem to run riot. It all depends on the parent I suppose. A bit like in the U.K. where some parents do it and some don't.

Possibly you're confusing punishment with discipline.