How do Thai parents discipline there children?

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Beating your kids is not a good thing and not what I am saying at all.

But the kids shouldn't cry and get whatever they want parents should instil some rules of conduct.

[Mossfinn]

A girlfriend of mine brought her two year old over, the kid kept on slapping a light stand, every time he would slap it, the lantern shaped thing would bend and a bits of plastic would fall off, after yelling at him not to don't, the third time she slapped him right across the face

I was impressed

That's the only child disciplining I've seen so just ignore me

You were impressed?

Please don't have any more kids, until you have learnt to be a parent.

[hellohello123]

A girlfriend of mine brought her two year old over, the kid kept on slapping a light stand, every time he would slap it, the lantern shaped thing would bend and a bits of plastic would fall off, after yelling at him not to don't, the third time she slapped him right across the face

I was impressed

That's the only child disciplining I've seen so just ignore me

You were impressed?

Please don't have any more kids, until you have learnt to be a parent.

Oh no, another tv loser who.thinks his way is the right way

What givrs you the right to think your methods are correct?

I suppose you go to thailand to teach all the Thais the right way to do everything since they're all third world Muppet

Geez

[flyingsaucersarereal]

Why are you so angry?

Edited August 7, 2014 by flyingsaucersarereal

[tartempion]

Unfortunately, raising kids is taught nowhere

[spidermike007]

The one area, where a lack of discipline is really evident, is every time I go to the cinema here. The kids are running around, and talking at full volume, during the entire movie. The parents act like they do not care, do not think it is a problem, or are completely oblivious to the noise, the racket, the commotion, and the annoying disturbance their kids are creating. I do not care how they treat their children when they are home, or out in the street. But, I have just bought a ticket, for a movie I am excited to watch, and is it too much to ask, that they control their children? I often ask them to shussh. If that does not work, I sometimes get up, walk over to them, and remind them that there is a cinema of people who bought tickets, and would rather listen to the movie, than their kids. Usually that works. One time I had a guy threaten to kick my ass. He kept on saying lets go outside, lets see who is the big guy here. You cannot tell me how to train my children. They can do whatever they want. I said to him, "yes it is obvious they can do whatever they want. And it is obvious who runs this household, and which parent is controlled by his children".

[Borzandy]

"discipline" cannot be translated in Thai.

[janpharma]

...Thainess...100%...

[dotpoom]

Sometimes I thinks Farangs are over cautious.....no more running in school playgrounds (for fear of them falling)...no eating dirt (so they end up with bad immune systems) no more walking to school (for fear of being kidnapped) no this...no that...a real nanny home and state. Thai children seem to me to be doing alright....but I do understand where your coming from.

Edited August 20, 2014 by dotpoom

[brd]

The land of free for all, sabai sabai or too hot to make any efforts other than for cooking, meaning if pets and kids when their first 2 years are similar under the Thai culture the kids grow up remaining pets as adults meaning Play...Play...Play, not hearing ever a No to stop their mistakes do only what their impulse push them to do by all means similarly to dogs would do....Play...Play...eat...eat more more more....sleep laying on the floor etc...etc... and if you please it is much too hot no efforts life is sabai sabai necessitating them to find shortcuts to survive without thinking there could exist a tomorrow.

Only less than 5 or not more than 1 % of the Thai parents take on their times to raise their kids for quality including disciplining them.

3 millions kids, their mothers can not care for, are actually entrusted to grd parents up country whom are going, nowhere better than buffalos would lazing at will.

A lot of hard work to change the mentalities totally derelict not reflecting a superior way of living at all and General Prayuth has this priority in mind to correct or to improve before to change them all.

Once out from Isaan never come back because the so important for the Thai economy Bangkok is offering opportunities to the hard working people and why should anyone show how to live happily by doing nothing except by learning smiling.

I have seen by myself in my own case the ravages of potentially the Thai siblings I have stopped any one to interfere in my couple life raising three boys in Bangkok refusing to look backward my wife having taken her times ( more than eight years I fought inch per inch never shouting,always present and showing my non smiling face most of the times but paying the bills comfortably as I was looking for long term ignoring the coconuts falling on my head missing me often- I do not drink - but aware of their moves of many kinds - now they have become ghosts sometimes !) to join in happily and become my wife prior remaining her parents daughter under their rural terms i have seen playing and rejected all.

Any kids needs directions to understand right and wrong, some are very quick, some are very slow, some are stubborn and some know it all by copying wrongly.

Good luck and do what your heart tells you as well as your head but head on better.

[Suradit69]

Beating your kids is not a good thing and not what I am saying at all.

But the kids shouldn't cry and get whatever they want parents should instil some rules of conduct.

Ill behaved children exist in vast numbers in the so called advanced countries, so it seems this question might better be How do any parents discipline their children ... or better yet, why do so few seem to have taught their children how to behave.

I have Thai friends with a six year old girl. She sometimes can get a bit whiny, but quite soon one or both parents will simply say her name rather pointedly and that's the end of the whining. I've never seen either raise a hand to her and seriously doubt they would. That, to my mind, is an impressive form of discipline that's been taught and managed by the parents.

In the west I hate to think of how many times I've been in a restaurant or on an airplane or many other places where one farang brat will make the experience intolerable for everyone and the parents seem unable or unwilling to make any effort to control the child.

[tingtongteesood]

I very rarely see parents discipline the kids. Mostly because they don't want the kids to be upset at them or else they might decide not to take care of their parents when they get old. Stupid system but it is just the way it is here. I always smile when I see a parent actually disciplining their kids here. I also see the kids sometimes tell the parents they are wrong, when I am in the bathroom and the kid goes to wash their hands and tell daddy he should too, I feel so happy when that happens. It's becoming the same all over the world now, kids re not disciplined and turn into complete a-holes. We need a return to the old ways.

[tingtongteesood]

The one area, where a lack of discipline is really evident, is every time I go to the cinema here. The kids are running around, and talking at full volume, during the entire movie. The parents act like they do not care, do not think it is a problem, or are completely oblivious to the noise, the racket, the commotion, and the annoying disturbance their kids are creating. I do not care how they treat their children when they are home, or out in the street. But, I have just bought a ticket, for a movie I am excited to watch, and is it too much to ask, that they control their children? I often ask them to shussh. If that does not work, I sometimes get up, walk over to them, and remind them that there is a cinema of people who bought tickets, and would rather listen to the movie, than their kids. Usually that works. One time I had a guy threaten to kick my ass. He kept on saying lets go outside, lets see who is the big guy here. You cannot tell me how to train my children. They can do whatever they want. I said to him, "yes it is obvious they can do whatever they want. And it is obvious who runs this household, and which parent is controlled by his children".

( sarcasm alert ) Oh no, how dare you criticize one of the 'perfect' Thais, it does not matter that he is a complete a-hole, you are not allowed to criticize because this is not your country. Forget the fact that he is rude and shows a complete lack of thought for anyone else ( including Thais ) and just be happy the perfect country let you in to share with all it's perfect people ( sarcasm ends )

The total lack of consideration for anyone else is one of the worst things about living here, that and the complete and utter lack of common sense. Stupidity, rudeness and bad behavior should always be pointed out whether this is your country or not.

[A1Str8]

They smile at them.

[SOTIRIOS]

....just from what I've seen up close.....there has to be a vested interest....

...in that case....there will be torture and torment....psychological abuse.....

....that explains a lot of things.....

[pchansmorn]

From what I see the fact that the children are never punished, when they grow up they are spoiled rotten mama boys, so they never grow up most continue to live at home, sone who marry don't fall in love they just pick someone to replace there mothers role in there lives, and those kind of women treat there men like children. And I have noticed a lot of gay men trying to be real men holding onto little girls, then you got the ladyboys trying to find them selfs, the gays both male & women, it is Great fun watching show in Thailand.

[cariden]

unfortunately, we do not see what they do all the time, we notice once the child becomes out of control, as we are only observers, and then we being "better and more knowledgeable" only see "our" solutions as better.. of course our children in "america, canada, britian, etc" are brought up correctly..."this is sarcasm in case you miss my point."

[ableguy]

Idiotic post, most kids don't have toys, or a room for time out, why compare your idea of how kids should be raised with Thai ?

From what I have seen over many years farangs could learn a lot about how to raise their kids.

[ableguy]

The one area, where a lack of discipline is really evident, is every time I go to the cinema here. The kids are running around, and talking at full volume, during the entire movie. The parents act like they do not care, do not think it is a problem, or are completely oblivious to the noise, the racket, the commotion, and the annoying disturbance their kids are creating. I do not care how they treat their children when they are home, or out in the street. But, I have just bought a ticket, for a movie I am excited to watch, and is it too much to ask, that they control their children? I often ask them to shussh. If that does not work, I sometimes get up, walk over to them, and remind them that there is a cinema of people who bought tickets, and would rather listen to the movie, than their kids. Usually that works. One time I had a guy threaten to kick my ass. He kept on saying lets go outside, lets see who is the big guy here. You cannot tell me how to train my children. They can do whatever they want. I said to him, "yes it is obvious they can do whatever they want. And it is obvious who runs this household, and which parent is controlled by his children".

( sarcasm alert ) Oh no, how dare you criticize one of the 'perfect' Thais, it does not matter that he is a complete a-hole, you are not allowed to criticize because this is not your country. Forget the fact that he is rude and shows a complete lack of thought for anyone else ( including Thais ) and just be happy the perfect country let you in to share with all it's perfect people ( sarcasm ends )

The total lack of consideration for anyone else is one of the worst things about living here, that and the complete and utter lack of common sense. Stupidity, rudeness and bad behavior should always be pointed out whether this is your country or not.

Time for you to go home.

[Roelf]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

There are better ways to discipline a child. Many I suppose. Try mine, you'll like it if you believe in it.

I learned it from my father.

First you ask yourself who is the boss in the house. The parent or the child? If you choose parent you are on the right track.

Then you ask yourself who makes the rules in the house. If you choose parent, you score.

Next you ask yourself if your rules should be respected, obeyed. And I MEAN 100%. No ifs buts or whatevers. If you say No or Maybe you have lost the case, because that means that the child is the boss, he makes the rules. Think about this deeply; you might not like it, but it is the truth.

Read an article about the Chinese somewhere in this thread. It works wel in China!!

Also think about the real world we live in. If you don't follows the rules, you get fined or you go to jail.

Now, why insist on the 100% obedience for the children? Because it makes happy and balanced children.

For example, would you think a whining child is a happy child? (At least at that moment). Certainly not: the child wants something that he does not get, it being a toy, attention or candy. The child is convinced that he should have it and thinks (or knows) that be bothering you he will or may eventually get it.

If on the other hand the kid knows that NO is NO, the matter is settled and he goes on his happy way.

I could go on and on, but won't. I raised my daughters this way and they are greatful for it. Do they raise their children the same way? They try to, but they haven't decided yet who is the boss in the house.........

That, plus the lack of long term planning might also be the problem in Thai families.

R.

[louse1953]

Adult thais are really just big children,they will laugh at the most chldish things as do i thats one of the reasons i like living here.i believe thais do discipline their children,however its left to the mother rather than the father who is too engaged drinking whiskey with his mates.

Thats one big generalization there.

[Saan]

My wife rewards her teenage son's bad behavior. He wins every time. He wants a smart phone, he refuses to answer his phone when his mother rings. He gets a smart phone. I am afraid in this case it is a 'former' single mum over compensating.

God help the girl he marries.

[Sam Gold]

Thai children are taught to be Thais in Thailand by Thais, it all makes sense to them.

If like me you would rather your child was raised as a Westerner and be spared the lifelong burden of receiving a Thai upbringing, the only solution is to move back to the West. They should speak Thai with their mum, learn about Thai culture of course and they can go back to Thailand later as they wish, as educated, reasonable adults.

[Krataiboy]

Bang! Slap! Wallop!

[benalibina]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

There are better ways to discipline a child. Many I suppose. Try mine, you'll like it if you believe in it.

I learned it from my father.

First you ask yourself who is the boss in the house. The parent or the child? If you choose parent you are on the right track.

Then you ask yourself who makes the rules in the house. If you choose parent, you score.

Next you ask yourself if your rules should be respected, obeyed. And I MEAN 100%. No ifs buts or whatevers. If you say No or Maybe you have lost the case, because that means that the child is the boss, he makes the rules. Think about this deeply; you might not like it, but it is the truth.

Read an article about the Chinese somewhere in this thread. It works wel in China!!

Also think about the real world we live in. If you don't follows the rules, you get fined or you go to jail.

Now, why insist on the 100% obedience for the children? Because it makes happy and balanced children.

For example, would you think a whining child is a happy child? (At least at that moment). Certainly not: the child wants something that he does not get, it being a toy, attention or candy. The child is convinced that he should have it and thinks (or knows) that be bothering you he will or may eventually get it.

If on the other hand the kid knows that NO is NO, the matter is settled and he goes on his happy way.

I could go on and on, but won't. I raised my daughters this way and they are greatful for it. Do they raise their children the same way? They try to, but they haven't decided yet who is the boss in the house.........

That, plus the lack of long term planning might also be the problem in Thai families.

R.

A good post. The 100% mark of obedience is not correct IMO. Should give kids some leeway to come with alternatives on some matters, thinkingabilities and creativity.

[mutha289]

My wife (thai) would pinch our daughter's ear when she misbehaved in public. The neat thing about that was it was much more discreet than a spanking or a verbal talking to, but just as effective!

[frank0424]

OP, is there a better way to discipline a child? What do you propose? I don't have kid, so I don't know.

Believe me, you get a very long way with talking to your kids. Really no need to hit children at all.

My dad beat the shit out of my when I was young. All I learned from that, was to hate and disrespect him.

Same here.

Kids are the only humans you can hit and not be charged with assault.

[Thai at Heart]

Why does it seem like Thai parents never discipline there children?

Kids will be playing in the street with traffic or playing with filthy street water and no one seems to care.

Kids gobble up thousands of snacks and only drink soda. Kids cry and parents just give into the child's wishes to make the crying stop.

It seems to me that it is more important for parents to be there kids friend then it is to instil any discipline for bad behavior.

Maybe so "little Johnny" can take care of them when they are old.

Do they take some toys away? Do they give them a time out?

Sometimes the "mai pen rai" attitude doesn't work when confronted with real danger like FIRE is hot or CARS can run you over.

You have patently never met my wife.

Absolutely stereotypical bar stool nonsense.

[Thai at Heart]

Thai children are taught to be Thais in Thailand by Thais, it all makes sense to them.

If like me you would rather your child was raised as a Westerner and be spared the lifelong burden of receiving a Thai upbringing, the only solution is to move back to the West. They should speak Thai with their mum, learn about Thai culture of course and they can go back to Thailand later as they wish, as educated, reasonable adults.

Amen

[sustento]

They beat the children who can't tell the difference between their and there...