Am I too old to have more children and do it all again?

[poweratradio]

When I did live in TL, it saddened me to see toddlers with fathers who were into their golden years who wouldn't be around long enough to see the kids grow. It's not something I would do, but we are all in charge of our own destiny.

 

When I see Clint Eastwood for example, robust as he may be it irks me that people of his ilk are so irresponsible. His youngest is I believe 18, while he's 84 and will possibly be gone before she's 25. She still has a lot of growing up to do, with no father to turn to.......?

 

All that said, as with everything, one man's meat......

Read your own logo/icon just be sad if that is the feeling for you but to slam Clint as irking you because he has an 18 year old is sacrilegious. She most likely will tell you that she is thank ful to have been conceived and is having a wonderful life and knows full well daddy won't be around that much longer but every moment with him has been a blessing.

[David48]

My wife at 29 wants a baby from her egg and my sperm but she does not want to carry it. She wants a surrogate but that seems doomed considering the recent events in the news,

 

 

If your wife is Thai, maybe a relative would carry it for her.

 

India is still a legal option for you.

 

Give it some months ... maybe a year ... the who-ha will die down in Thailand
 

[aboctok]

 

My wife came into the room a few minutes ago and I showed her a couple of the posts on this thread.  After she rolled her eyes and asked why anyone would think to know better about her/our choices than her/us, we shared another one of those knowing glances.

Many men have a wife that lies to them, and they never know.
I do know that, because I had such a wife.
Is your wife honest and faithful to you?
Only time can tell (not you, and not me).

 

You had a wife that you trusted, but who lied to you. This is how you know that "many men" have a lying wife.

[aboctok]

 

 

 

My wife came into the room a few minutes ago and I showed her a couple of the posts on this thread.  After she rolled her eyes and asked why anyone would think to know better about her/our choices than her/us, we shared another one of those knowing glances.

Many men have a wife that lies to them, and they never know.
I do know that, because I had such a wife.
Is your wife honest and faithful to you?
Only time can tell (not you, and not me).

 

Another poor loser who's been badly burnt and thinks that everyone else has a woman as deceitful as his own.

 

Statistically, there is a 50% chance you will be deceived.
It would be foolish not to consider yours is in the bad 50%.

Not really a question of if you get burnt, but when.

 

Where on Earth did you get such a number? Does it come from pondering that there are two possible outcomes (be deceived, and not be deceived), and "therefore," there is a 50% likelihood of each outcome occurring? This is not how probability works. When I stroll along a country road on a fine day, there are two possible outcomes: be struck by lightning; and not be struck by lightning. Everybody (I would hope) can see how ridiculous it would be, to assert that there is then a 50% chance of being struck by lightning. Groundless.

[aboctok]

 

I really feel like the odd man out here.  I have never had nor wanted children.  I spent the first twenty years in Thailand as a very happy single man.  

 

At 43 I met my wife to be, who was 23 at the time.  We married two years later.  We recently turned 60 and 40 respectively and have a great life with no children.  We are both active and healthy with barely enough hours in the day for us, let alone taking care of an infant.

 

Clearly our life does not represent the norm but I offer it as an alternative.  There is more than one way of doing things, and those who insist on only one way, are wrong in my opinion.  Just be honest with your partner and be aware that it helps if you have an active lifestyle which would leave little time for children.

 

But aren't you or your wife aware that your relationship is incomplete?? Don't fret, as many in this place have asserted, there's still time for you and your wife to redeem yourselves. I would advise you to have children as a matter of urgency.

 

And while I'm on the soapbox, I might as well say something important: GET LEGAL.

[David48]

 

I really feel like the odd man out here.  I have never had nor wanted children.  I spent the first twenty years in Thailand as a very happy single man.  

 

At 43 I met my wife to be, who was 23 at the time.  We married two years later.  We recently turned 60 and 40 respectively and have a great life with no children.  We are both active and healthy with barely enough hours in the day for us, let alone taking care of an infant.

 

Clearly our life does not represent the norm but I offer it as an alternative.  There is more than one way of doing things, and those who insist on only one way, are wrong in my opinion.  Just be honest with your partner and be aware that it helps if you have an active lifestyle which would leave little time for children.

 

 

But aren't you or your wife aware that your relationship is incomplete?? Don't fret, as many in this place have asserted, there's still time for you and your wife to redeem yourselves. I would advise you to have children as a matter of urgency.

 

And while I'm on the soapbox, I might as well say something important: GET LEGAL.

 

 

aboctok ... your Sarcasm is not appreciated ... 

 

Leave these discussions to the Adults and crawl back to the Pattaya News Forum where you do most of your postings.

 

...

.

.
 

[GAZZPA]

One of the problems with life, we are all mortal,, I know its stating the bleeding obvious but that is what we are really talking abut here.

 

I am sure you are a fit healthy fella and will likely carry on ticking for 20 years or more but like all people you will slow down. There is no shame in it, its just life. You have had children already and enjoyed that part of your life, so in my opinion don't go there. Remember the nappies, the schooling, the worry, the discipline, the terrible teens, the higher education and I haven't even talked about money yet.

 

Do you really want to be doing all that again when you are trucking through your sixties? At that time of life your time should be your own,you should be enjoying the freedom of kids and probably mortgages and all the stuff we get stuck in. You will never be able to experience that properly if you dive into reproducing again. 

 

So, just because it is possible to start again here in mature years doesnt not mean you should. What is wrong with a slightly older lady anyway,, I am not talking about a zimmer framed old biddy but perhaps early 40's, done the children bit and is looking to enjoy life.. I am not looking for anyone but I met one of the bar ladies whilst having a beer recently, she was in hr 40's (I guess), very attractive and her kids are grown up now.

 

For the young lady you met you also have to ask yourself why is she looking at a man in her mid fifties. I am sorry to say it but I know everyone thinks it, she sees you as potential easier life. Mid fifties, no mortgage, western, probably financially secure etc,, lets be really honest back in Aus how many ladies in their younger years jump for men 20 years or more their senior? Not many for sure,, here is different of course.

 

So, for the young lady I would let her go if she has her heart set on kids, it will be better for her and find yourself someone who is hot, a bit older and just looking to enjoy life..

 

Anyway, just my opinion, good luck fella, hope you end up happy whatever you do.

 

 

 

[aboctok]

 

 

I really feel like the odd man out here.  I have never had nor wanted children.  I spent the first twenty years in Thailand as a very happy single man.  

 

At 43 I met my wife to be, who was 23 at the time.  We married two years later.  We recently turned 60 and 40 respectively and have a great life with no children.  We are both active and healthy with barely enough hours in the day for us, let alone taking care of an infant.

 

Clearly our life does not represent the norm but I offer it as an alternative.  There is more than one way of doing things, and those who insist on only one way, are wrong in my opinion.  Just be honest with your partner and be aware that it helps if you have an active lifestyle which would leave little time for children.

 

 

But aren't you or your wife aware that your relationship is incomplete?? Don't fret, as many in this place have asserted, there's still time for you and your wife to redeem yourselves. I would advise you to have children as a matter of urgency.

 

And while I'm on the soapbox, I might as well say something important: GET LEGAL.

 

 

aboctok ... your Sarcasm is not appreciated ... 

 

Leave these discussions to the Adults and crawl back to the Pattaya News Forum where you do most of your postings.

 

...

.

.
 

 

It's disappointing how often people misuse the word sarcasm. Which part of my comment was sarcastic? Actually, none of it. No, I'm not winding you up. The word sarcasm is used too often as a kind of catch-all concept for statements that may be vaguely or distinctly negative. That's like calling a cat a dog just because they're both four-legged vertebrates. I reassure you that none of my comment was sarcastic, and I invite you to seek a reliable definition.

 

While you're doing that, please learn the word hypocrisy.

 

Leave these discussions to the Adults and crawl back to the Pattaya News Forum where you do most of your postings.

 

If this is not sarcastic—according to its actual meaning—then what is? Please, anybody who senses that they have some clear knowledge of this issue, weigh in!

 

Do I really post mostly in the Pattaya News Forum? I have no idea, but it would greatly surprise me, since I've never been to Pattaya, and don't have any special interest in anything going on there. I suppose if it was true, it might reflect a predominance of interesting topics grouped in that forum? I don't know. But I don't have any connection to Pattaya.

Edited August 10, 2014 by aboctok

[David48]

aboctok ... feel free to start a topic about Sarcasm in any relevant forum, and I will be happy to comment.

 

But this thread is not the place for that discussion as we are trying to debate the question the OP raised.

.

[michael12345]

There is a different but very important perspective that needs to be considered: that of the child.

 

On a separate non-Thai forum, I once read a post from a 18yr old boy who wanted to move to England from Thailand. He had a British visa but had lived in Thailand his whole life. This stunned the forum and we asked him: how did this happen?

 

Apparently his father was British, came to Thailand, had a kid with a local, and died when the kid was young. Then the mother died when he was a teenager, and the local village passed him around and "took care of him".

 

He spoke fluent English and was obviously very intelligent--and he had a pretty critical, cynical perspective on Thailand and Thai culture. He said he was desperate to get out--away from the dirt, the corruption, the casual cruelty, the lack of logic and obsession with saving face. He hoped to make a life for himself in the west.

 

It is barbaric to give your child a worse life than you were given. Any western man who has a child in Thailand, or any other third-world country, should be ashamed.

[rsokolowski]

If you think you are too old, or you do not want to deal with children at this point in your life then the answer is no children. I think you should be upfront about this with your partner and make sure you are both on the same page.

[David48]

 

It is barbaric to give your child a worse life than you were given. Any western man who has a child in Thailand, or any other third-world country, should be ashamed.

 

... 

 

.

[sustento]

It might to be worthwhile to look at it from the child's point of view. If you were a 10 year old child would you be happy for your 74 year old father to be waiting at the school gates with all of your friends' 35 year old parents?

[SNGLIFE]

The Great Insemination of 2000-2015 by 50+ year olds will result in lots of available leuk kruengs working in the Sin Cities because Poppa croaked and Mae couldn't handle the aftermath. Plenty of pre-2000 girls working now as "Pretties" in major malls, and hostesses in the upscale "Thai-only" karaoke establishments. I'd expect the sin city share of them will hit beginning 2020 and be pervasive as ordinary bar girls 2025-2030 and beyond. Mark this post. Edited August 11, 2014 by SNGLIFE

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Where on Earth did you get such a number? Does it come from pondering that there are two possible outcomes (be deceived, and not be deceived), and "therefore," there is a 50% likelihood of each outcome occurring? This is not how probability works. When I stroll along a country road on a fine day, there are two possible outcomes: be struck by lightning; and not be struck by lightning. Everybody (I would hope) can see how ridiculous it would be, to assert that there is then a 50% chance of being struck by lightning. Groundless.

You would need to add worldwide divorce statistics in your equation, now standing at 50%+.
Then you could also consider living in Thailand, where statistically the people have the loosest knickers in the world.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

It might to be worthwhile to look at it from the child's point of view. If you were a 10 year old child would you be happy for your 74 year old father to be waiting at the school gates with all of your friends' 35 year old parents?

In a country where grandparents routinely look after their grandchildren, full or part time, who would know or care?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

There is a different but very important perspective that needs to be considered: that of the child.
 
On a separate non-Thai forum, I once read a post from a 18yr old boy who wanted to move to England from Thailand. He had a British visa but had lived in Thailand his whole life. This stunned the forum and we asked him: how did this happen?
 
Apparently his father was British, came to Thailand, had a kid with a local, and died when the kid was young. Then the mother died when he was a teenager, and the local village passed him around and "took care of him".
 
He spoke fluent English and was obviously very intelligent--and he had a pretty critical, cynical perspective on Thailand and Thai culture. He said he was desperate to get out--away from the dirt, the corruption, the casual cruelty, the lack of logic and obsession with saving face. He hoped to make a life for himself in the west.
 
It is barbaric to give your child a worse life than you were given. Any western man who has a child in Thailand, or any other third-world country, should be ashamed.

I've been to England, I predict after a month there, he would be begging to come back to Thailand.
Too wet, too cold, work is too hard, getting a girls pants off too much time & too much effort.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

What is wrong with a slightly older lady anyway,,

Menopause!
It's a deal breaker, and it's happening soon.
Psychological effects start in the mid 40s, continues on until late 50s.
If you've tried it once, you wouldn't want to risk it a second time. Edited August 11, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[transam]

 

What is wrong with a slightly older lady anyway,,

Menopause!
It's a deal breaker, and it's happening soon.
Psychological effects start in the mid 40s, continues on until late 50s.
If you've tried it once, you wouldn't want to risk it a second time.

 

 

Reading that brought back memories of my UK ex.............
 

[Neeranam]

 

It is barbaric to give your child a worse life than you were given. Any western man who has a child in Thailand, or any other third-world country, should be ashamed.

Dude, what an idiotic thing to say. Take a step back, look at your motives for saying this in this particular sub forum, and seek counsel.

[Dogmatix]

I think it depends on who you meet and decide to set up shop with.  If you prefer younger women without children of their own, it is definitely a consideration but I think you need to have a commitment and be sure you can provide for them until they have finished university.  The way you discuss it seems like a chicken and egg situation, i.e. planning on the eggs before you have found the chicken.

[Dogmatix]

The Great Insemination of 2000-2015 by 50+ year olds will result in lots of available leuk kruengs working in the Sin Cities because Poppa croaked and Mae couldn't handle the aftermath. Plenty of pre-2000 girls working now as "Pretties" in major malls, and hostesses in the upscale "Thai-only" karaoke establishments. I'd expect the sin city share of them will hit beginning 2020 and be pervasive as ordinary bar girls 2025-2030 and beyond. Mark this post.

 

So are you saying we need to stay alive and healthy enough to enjoy this crop of look kreung bar girls produced by old geezers who retired in Thailand and eeked out their state pensions in Buriram villages with Pattaya beer bar girls.  I remember the last lot left behind by GIs but they seemed to be mainly half black, fat and not very pretty at all.  In the 80s there was a soap about one sensitively called "Dam".   Will they be called "Khao"?  I hope they will be better looking.

[khunerik]

 

 

 

 

To the OP -- I'm 73 and my wife is scheduled to give birth in December.

 

 

 

     

[transam]

 

The Great Insemination of 2000-2015 by 50+ year olds will result in lots of available leuk kruengs working in the Sin Cities because Poppa croaked and Mae couldn't handle the aftermath. Plenty of pre-2000 girls working now as "Pretties" in major malls, and hostesses in the upscale "Thai-only" karaoke establishments. I'd expect the sin city share of them will hit beginning 2020 and be pervasive as ordinary bar girls 2025-2030 and beyond. Mark this post.

 

So are you saying we need to stay alive and healthy enough to enjoy this crop of look kreung bar girls produced by old geezers who retired in Thailand and eeked out their state pensions in Buriram villages with Pattaya beer bar girls.  I remember the last lot left behind by GIs but they seemed to be mainly half black, fat and not very pretty at all.  In the 80s there was a soap about one sensitively called "Dam".   Will they be called "Khao"?  I hope they will be better looking.

 

 

Hmmmmm, can you show us a photo of yourself please Qwasy.........
 

[kennypowers]

I think the question should be, "what's best for the un-conceived child". Analyse your health, ability to be patient and unselfish, fitness level, etc.

 

Think back to when you had kids; the sleep deprivation, the undivided attention you need to give. Think of the years ahead; the late nights, taking care of the child when he/she is sick, school commitments, homework and the rest of it. Remember how stressful it can be just to get the family ready and go out to the mall.

 

Can you honestly say you would be able to give the child the best of you, as you would have been able to at 25, 35 or 40?

 

How will the child feel when 70-year old dad shows up at school with mum - half his age? There was a thread on here a while back about bullying related to this sort of thing; your mum's a prostitute, is that your grandad, that sort of thing.

 

Plenty of considerations. 

[transam]

I think the question should be, "what's best for the un-conceived child". Analyse your health, ability to be patient and unselfish, fitness level, etc.

 

Think back to when you had kids; the sleep deprivation, the undivided attention you need to give. Think of the years ahead; the late nights, taking care of the child when he/she is sick, school commitments, homework and the rest of it. Remember how stressful it can be just to get the family ready and go out to the mall.

 

Can you honestly say you would be able to give the child the best of you, as you would have been able to at 25, 35 or 40?

 

How will the child feel when 70-year old dad shows up at school with mum - half his age? There was a thread on here a while back about bullying related to this sort of thing; your mum's a prostitute, is that your grandad, that sort of thing.

 

Plenty of considerations. 

 

Anyone can die at any age, I lost friends in their twenties via natural causes.

Nobody gives a shit who picks kids up from school, could be dad or granddad, who cares, certainly not me.....
 

[sustento]

 

It might to be worthwhile to look at it from the child's point of view. If you were a 10 year old child would you be happy for your 74 year old father to be waiting at the school gates with all of your friends' 35 year old parents?

In a country where grandparents routinely look after their grandchildren, full or part time, who would know or care?

 

Your 10 year old. All the posts that I've read in this thread so far (and i admit I've not read every one of them) seem to be concerned with the feelings of the parent-to-be. Very few of them seem to be worried about the effect of the parent dying while the child is still in their teens or possibly younger. It all seems a little bit selfish to me. The child seems to be wanted as some sort of self gratification.

Edited August 11, 2014 by sustento

[transam]

 

 

It might to be worthwhile to look at it from the child's point of view. If you were a 10 year old child would you be happy for your 74 year old father to be waiting at the school gates with all of your friends' 35 year old parents?

In a country where grandparents routinely look after their grandchildren, full or part time, who would know or care?

 

Your 10 year old. All the posts that I've read in this thread so far (and i admit I've not read every one of them) seem to be concerned with the feelings of the parent-to-be. Very few of them seem to be worried about the effect of the parent dying while the child is still in their teens or possibly younger. It all seems a little bit selfish to me. The child seems to be wanted as some sort of self gratification.

 

 

So married military guys must give up their profession in case they get shot at........???????
 

[utkb]

 

 

It might to be worthwhile to look at it from the child's point of view. If you were a 10 year old child would you be happy for your 74 year old father to be waiting at the school gates with all of your friends' 35 year old parents?

In a country where grandparents routinely look after their grandchildren, full or part time, who would know or care?

 

Your 10 year old. All the posts that I've read in this thread so far (and i admit I've not read every one of them) seem to be concerned with the feelings of the parent-to-be. Very few of them seem to be worried about the effect of the parent dying while the child is still in their teens or possibly younger. It all seems a little bit selfish to me. The child seems to be wanted as some sort of self gratification.

 

 

 

Whether you are old or young, rich or poor, healthy or sick, educated or not - having kids is a selfish act.  It is routinely debated by philosophers.

 

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2012/04/09/the-case-against-kids

 

It always comes down to a personal decision and a desire to create something better than yourself, i.e. a family.

[freebyrd]

 

When I did live in TL, it saddened me to see toddlers with fathers who were into their golden years who wouldn't be around long enough to see the kids grow. It's not something I would do, but we are all in charge of our own destiny.

 

When I see Clint Eastwood for example, robust as he may be it irks me that people of his ilk are so irresponsible. His youngest is I believe 18, while he's 84 and will possibly be gone before she's 25. She still has a lot of growing up to do, with no father to turn to.......?

 

All that said, as with everything, one man's meat......

Read your own logo/icon just be sad if that is the feeling for you but to slam Clint as irking you because he has an 18 year old is sacrilegious. She most likely will tell you that she is thank ful to have been conceived and is having a wonderful life and knows full well daddy won't be around that much longer but every moment with him has been a blessing.

 

Slam Clint? Sacrilegious?! I guess you must be his press agent. If I wanted to slam him I could pull out many more stops than I did.

 

I guess you didn't read all that I wrote. One man's meat is another one's poison as I always say. Plain enough for you now?

 

And my icon/logo is tongue in cheek mister, but I guess you take it and yourself far more seriously.