californiabeachboy Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I live in California but I visit Thailand often. I have been lucky enough to meet several wonderful Thai women. I have two Thai female friends, so I asked them "how many Thai women would be happy living in a Western country", and both said about 90%. I disagree with this, but I wanted some opinions here. The reason I am asking is that I like where I live here in the US and hope to live here the rest of my life, with several visits a year to Thailand. If I marry a Thai woman, I would want us to live here in the US, not in Thailand. But would she be happy here? Such an aggressive culture here, no Thai spoken, and the wife would be separated from her Thai family (very important in my experience). I am interested in hearing any stories from Westerners (US or Europe) who brought their Thai wife back to the home country, and how that worked out, good or bad. My thought is that she should be educated, which sounds a bit hi-so, but my experience with Thai women is that if they are more educated, they may be more flexible in terms of living in a foreign culture. P.S. - I am 63, so if I am going to do this, it would be with a woman in her 40's or early 50's - no young kids to deal with. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 At 40+ at least you won't have to worry about her running off with some other guy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRRR Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 90% would be right, meeting one that is educated with a good job is the key to less stress and problems later but do go for a childless woman, there are many many available again less possible problems in the future. The problem bring them to your home country is work, a Thai degree isnt worth much out side of Thailand, if they can get a job it will be an unskilled low paying one. My ex was a journalist in BKK but a kitchen hand in Australia, i learned that its better to keep them in there own surroundings rather than up root them and bring them here, one thing you need to be careful off is the move to the USA isnt seen by her as an opportunity to earn a lot of money, ive had numerous discussions with Thai women about this...they do see it as the land of milk and honey, i do try and explain to them we have to pay for everything and there are no food carts on the streets selling 30B meals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HooHaa Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thrilled Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 It's mostly about the money.Plenty of funds no problem.If be getting by 1 day at A time ,noone wants that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtklay Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 My Thai wife and I spent 40 years in California. We both worked, and lived a comfortable life. 5 years ago, we retired and built a house in Northern Thailand. We both looked forward to our "golden years". While we do live well on our retirement funds, we both agree that if we could afford to live in California without working, we would go back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bpuumike Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 My Thai wife loves to visit Europe and Oz but no way would she live permanently outside Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tham1 Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Does it matter if they are happy or not? The main thing is they do what you tell them when you tell them to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtklay Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Does it matter if they are happy or not? The main thing is they do what you tell them when you tell them to do it. Not married, are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKK Blues Brother Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 They all want to live nearer to home and family even if they have a family in the west. Having said that, the last time the wife went home she had a reality check and has since stopped talking about having a business in Thailand and also put talk of retirement out of the window there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
californiabeachboy Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 Thanks for the responses. Yes, the work problem is a big one for me. I am retired, and tend to hang around the house way too much. If my wife is not working and hanging around the house as well, we would both be miserable. i live in a medium sized city (San Diego), but there is no Thai community here at all. There are about 10 Thai restaurants within 1 kilometer, so for work, she would be looking at working at a Thai restaurant, a lousy job and no benefits. When i posed this question to my two female Thai friends, neither of them mentioned the separation from their family, which surprised me, because in Thailand I know that Thai women are very close to their families. Maybe because for a Thai woman in her 40's, with responsibilities for her parents, the layabout brother, and her 20 something kids, they see distance as a benefit. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
96tehtarp Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I personally know many Thai women aged 20's-60's who live abroad (North America/Europe) and they love it. I also know a few who have packed it all in and moved back to Thailand after their relationships fell apart. Yes it is definitely possible for a Thai lady to live in the West happily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I know many Thai women living overseas who have no intetion of ever returning here. Your problem aint so much the woman, its the Thais they befriend in farangland that coz the problems. My mrs has been called a snob and other such derogatory terms becoz she wants nothing to do with some of the Thais living overseas. Wife said to me, I wouldnt mix with them in Thailand why should I mix with them in farangland. Wait 'til you hear the stories about gambling and money lending, there is always some Queen Bee in the background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
96tehtarp Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I know many Thai women living overseas who have no intetion of ever returning here. Your problem aint so much the woman, its the Thais they befriend in farangland that coz the problems. My mrs has been called a snob and other such derogatory terms becoz she wants nothing to do with some of the Thais living overseas. Wife said to me, I wouldnt mix with them in Thailand why should I mix with them in farangland. Wait 'til you hear the stories about gambling and money lending, there is always some Queen Bee in the background. Very true. The same nonsense that goes on right here in Thailand gets transplanted very easily overseas. It is a big problem and makes the process of wife selection even more important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montrii Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 At 40+ at least you won't have to worry about her running off with some other guy... Ah, but how little you know! I was naive once, too . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montrii Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Thanks for the responses. Yes, the work problem is a big one for me. I am retired, and tend to hang around the house way too much. If my wife is not working and hanging around the house as well, we would both be miserable. i live in a medium sized city (San Diego), but there is no Thai community here at all. There are about 10 Thai restaurants within 1 kilometer, so for work, she would be looking at working at a Thai restaurant, a lousy job and no benefits. When i posed this question to my two female Thai friends, neither of them mentioned the separation from their family, which surprised me, because in Thailand I know that Thai women are very close to their families. Maybe because for a Thai woman in her 40's, with responsibilities for her parents, the layabout brother, and her 20 something kids, they see distance as a benefit. Cheers. OK, beachboy! San Diego would be one of the places a Thai woman would be most apt to like, IMHO. I've swum in the ocean there in January, but it's never hot the way it is over here. I think you're mistaken in the "no Thai community" opinion. Maybe they don't live all in the same neighborhood, but there's a wat in Escondido, and a Lao/Cambodian wat in San Diego proper, I believe. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sanghas_in_San_Diego_County,_California . . . as other posters have said, some could thrive in the US, some couldn't. Depends on a lot of things. Language ability/aptitude/interest is a big one. But good luck! I myself think 6 mo here, 6 mo in NorCal would be great, but probably won't happen, partly because of money, partly because my wife would probably get just a leetle too homesick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasun Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Self-identity in Thailand seems to be defined through the language, the culture, the religion and the King. Take some or all of those things away and they can feel very displaced. In my opinion, Thais are not as comfortable living long-term in other countries as some other Asian cultures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marstons Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 (edited) Thai women have one thing in common they are all different, you cant stereo type how many would like it its down to the individual. My experience and those of my ex wifes friends in the UK they liked what they earned, like the rights they got to our houses pensions etc and were all waiting to the day they had sent enough money back home to Thailand to come back and live, of course with a good share of ex hubbies assets. There's a reason why Thai ladies are happy to marry guys 20-30 years older, i will leave you to figure that one out. Edited August 24, 2014 by marstons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Am a Brit, wife is here in Germany with me, she loves it, is even studying the language, she does not need to work, we both enjoy traveling in and around Europe, but we also like to go to Thailand although not that often, her mother and brother are in Thailand but her Mum is well educated and knows that Europe is a better place for her daughter. Wife has a couple of Thai friends all women around her age one is married to a Thai the other to a German, they chat and go to the VHS (Volkshochschule) together, meet and go to the English Garten and picnic, but she does not mix with other Thais. Her decision not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirineou Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 I live in Florida with my Thai wife for several years now, She has become a US citizen, and is very Happy here. We have several Thai friends married to Americans and non of them have any plans to move back to Thailand. We were planing to retire in Thailand . and were looking in to building a nice home in property we own.The other day when we were talking about it with my wife, she suggested that we scale our building plans down and only build a two bedroom vacation home ,Her argument was that by the time we retire there her elderly parents will be probably dead, and except for her sister, she will not really have anyone there she cares about, at the same time, she is becoming acclimated here and is not sure if she would be able to put up with some of the nonsense in Thailand. I am also becoming concerned with my ability to get adequate medical care in my twilight years. So the short answer to your question is, Many Thai women wold be happy living in the US not only do I know many, but my wife is one of them. PS: my wife goes to Thailand at least once a year and get's her Thai Fill . I am very busy with work, and I was telling her to go there for a month, and she does not want to go with out me, she said she will wait until I have time to go with her. God I love that girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wooloomooloo Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 PS: my wife goes to Thailand at least once a year and get's her Thai Fill . I am very busy with work, and I was telling her to go there for a month, and she does not want to go with out me, she said she will wait until I have time to go with her. God I love that girl We have been married for over four years and visit LOS together twice a year. I regularly inform that she is welcome to extend her stays with her family without me and even build a business but I receive the same response in that she is not comfortable to leave me alone. Bottom line: my wife is quite content in the UK. Try to avoid seconding guessing peoples preferences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKKdreaming Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 California has so many Asians that she will not be noticed, And she will probably be more angry that everyone will think she is Filipino There are a lot of Thai places in Los angeles and a big Wat in North Hollywood With Skype , Internet TV etc she can get her Thai news when she wants, The only thing is most Thais are social , they like to be in a group , where Americans are more happy being by themselves or a few people but we like our privacy....not a Thai thing And like others have said the Thais in the USA will be a problem , most have lost the "sanuk" since they have to really work in the USA as costs are high Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverSure Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 BKKdreaming is right. There are so many Asians in America she won't be noticed. Many Thais own or work in a Thai restaurant or a Thai grocery store where Thais and other Americans can buy ingredients for Thai recipes. I don't think the issue is America. I think it's whether she will be OK with leaving friends and family and all that is Thailand, and learning a new culture. If she can't adjust to that, there's no hope. But America will treat her well and it's in such a different universe that she may never want to go back very much. All you can do is try it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKKdreaming Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 BKKdreaming is right. There are so many Asians in America she won't be noticed. I do not think that is true in the smaller places in the Midwest and South , but it is in California, across the street from me is Koreans, Filipinos , Indian, ,Mexician and Black african and the building is owned by Chinese Next door is Chinese , French and the rest American. My friend in Santa Ana has Vietnamese and Mexicians on his block, So it is easy to melt in , Then it just matters on the Lady , if she really wants to have a new life she will try harder.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I don't think San Diego makes a hill of beans when it comes to happiness. Yes the climate there is popularly rated as the 'best in the US' but there's probably Thai women happily married and settled with their partners in Duluth and Albuquerque. The OP's two lady friends who don't mention the very common 'missing my family' reasons for the Thai partners unhappiness. Are these ladies still in Thailand or in the US? Have they traveled overseas for extended periods? Or maybe they are just giving the OP the correct answer as they may think they have a chance to be 'the one'? In the end, the OP is sharing his life with a partner so superficialities such as location don't really mean a lot. The OP's retired and doesn't appear to have any hobbies or activities that he could share with his partner. Having said that, maybe try and do something new together? That way there's no challenges of one being the expert and the other feeling obliged to like something their partner likes or is good at. I think a big enabler of a happier relationship would be the OP making a big effort to learn Thai as there's a lot difficulties that can be avoided by better basic communications. If you BOTH are comfortable discussing things in each others languages, that goes a long way in making the relationship work. She doesn't need to be pigeonholed into working in a Thai restaurant or Lao market either. If she is comfortable with her language skills and meeting people, there's no restrictions on what work or activities she could do or even share with the OP. If he OP wants a number, try 711. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pottsforrags Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Correct Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirineou Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Correct Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoshowJones Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Does it matter if they are happy or not? The main thing is they do what you tell them when you tell them to do it. If ever there was a troll post, it is this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 My wife loves Australia..but she misses Thailand. It isn't about family..we live in Bangkok and we meet up with family about 3 times a year for a meal. She calls her mum daily but is quite happy not visiting too much. When we are in Australia she looks forward to getting back to Thailand even though she loves Kirra beach. I think she is just like me..she loves her home country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maurerpablo11111 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Most Filipinas and most Cambodian women would prefer to live in a Western country but most Thai women prefer to live in Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now