theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Help. I only had 2 Thai gf's, so I don't have a lot to compare to. First Thai gf was living in Canada and was sort of a hi-so. Her English was okay, but now that I live in Thailand I actually think her English was pretty decent compering to just about any Thai. I had communication issues with her, but not as much as with my current Thai gf which I met in Bangkok. I thought I would be much better off with a career girl in Thailand who has a decent job and I actually am.... but only financially. As a matter of fact she is very independent and always pulls out her wallet to pay every time we go out. I don't let her because I live in her house for free! I am ok financially and can get my own nice place, but I think she prefers having me in her house and controlling me. That is what I think and I could be wrong. Since we met she always had a serious face and has trust issues. She never talks about anything. Everything is so f mysterious every day. Sex is also non existent after a year of being together. It was fine in the beginning (but to be honest I don't care much sex). I am fed up and I can't live like this.... but..... she is really the most generous gf I have ever been with. She just refuses to talk about anything. Every time I ask her what's wrong I get the usual reply. Nothing! I think she is just bored with me as she did mentioned a few times "I am bore guy". <deleted> am I missing here? I kinda like her. My suspicion is that she wants to get married and I am being too slow. But after attitude like this how can I ever marry her? Confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post neverdie Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 You are still trying g to figure out women, are you? Good luck with that. My wife is one of the best communicators I have met, so I can't really help you as I haven't experienced what you are talking about. Generally with women, they either talk too much or don't talk at all... You pick one or the other. Best of luck. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post willyumiii Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 It's not working... Move on. 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) It's not working.... yes. Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl. Communication is a big issue for me, though. Edited August 15, 2014 by theguyfromanotherforum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Girlfriend, at the risk of stating the obvious, sounds very emotionally withdrawn. Very hard to figure out what is driving girlfriend's behavior based on thumbnail sketch provided. Curious how much time you spend together with her, but not trying to by prying. Wish you the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post JesseFrank Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) If she's hot, I'll take her of your hands, I don't care about talking. Actually I prefer they shut up all the time. Edited August 15, 2014 by JesseFrank 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Girlfriend, at the risk of stating the obvious, sounds very emotionally withdrawn. Very hard to figure out what is driving girlfriend's behavior based on thumbnail sketch provided. Curious how much time you spend together with her, but not trying to by prying. Wish you the best. Well, we live together, so 100% of the time. Of course I can't spend time at her office job. Thank you for your reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Jasun Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 You need to get freaky. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) When i read on these boards about all the problems guys have with Thai women ,i just cannot understand why so many have a problem ,in 24 years i had 2 Thai girlfiends here and in the UK both were really nice and no problem at all ,we just broke up on good terms ,my wife is a little ,(not little she is quite tall) treasure ,hard working ,loving and has been a great mum ,both in the UK and here in Thailand . the only thing i can think is that either the guy is not the best partner or they came here on a two week holiday and fell in love with the first bar girl with no manners or education that they rogered. apart from that ,i know shit happens even to the best of us ,but those guys rarely write their experiences down . And talking about the first girl they rogered ,i have an aquaintance coming back soon who has"fallen in love" he thinks she is back at the farm waiting for him ,in fact she is still in the bar ,and going to meet him at the airport and take him home ,question ,should i tell him? the wife says ,as he isnt a good friend let him make his own mistakes ,he wont thank you. Oh ,to the op ,move on lifes to short. Edited August 15, 2014 by i claudius 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Communication is a big issue for me, though. Can you speak/understand Thai? What I've found with nearly every Thai girl that I've known is that they need communication, much more so than most men. If it's frustrating you, it must be doubly frustrating for her....that she can't communicate with you in her native language. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Can you speak/understand Thai? What I've found with nearly every Thai girl that I've known is that they need communication, much more so than most men. If it's frustrating you, it must be doubly frustrating for her....that she can't communicate with you in her native language. No, I do not and you are right it must be frustrating and I was thinking about that. However, how difficult is it to say if something is bothering you instead of saying nothing. She speaks enough English to speak her mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
96tehtarp Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 "Sex is also non existent after a year of being together." Have more sex. It's the spice of life. Learning to speak Thai might help with your communication issues. Good luck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochoo Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 sex sucks if girl isnt into it! this cupple has disaster writtenn all over it. If guy wakes up he will move on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post willyumiii Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 It's not working.... yes. Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl. Communication is a big issue for me, though. If you partake or not, you must admit that one huge advantage to being in Thailand is that if you are a single guy and can not find the woman you want to live with, it is pretty easy to just rent one for an hour or so when you need something other than communication. It makes the time consuming search for that "right one" more tolerable and you are less likely to jump on the first " not so right one" that you meet. I know you stated that sex is not all that important to you, but you can rent for companionship, conversation and entertainment by the hour too! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Can you speak/understand Thai? What I've found with nearly every Thai girl that I've known is that they need communication, much more so than most men. If it's frustrating you, it must be doubly frustrating for her....that she can't communicate with you in her native language. No, I do not and you are right it must be frustrating and I was thinking about that. However, how difficult is it to say if something is bothering you instead of saying nothing. She speaks enough English to speak her mind. to theguyfromanotherforum: I am curious what your GF is like around she is around other friends and her family. Is she the same way with them as she is around you? If she a ChattyCathy with everyone else except you that should tell you something? I was also struck by your comment: "I suspect that it is because I have been slow to marry her." If communication is so bad that you can only guess whether this is an issue, that's a pretty serious problem. I completely share Berkshire's views about the value of being able to speak your GF's native language. It can sometimes really help in the intimacy and communication department, and help humanize you in the eyes of others. to Berkshire: I guess I agree that most Thai woman have high communication needs, definitely more so than Thai men. But some Thai women do seem to be shy, reserved, or quiet by nature. I think some Thai women view being quiet as a spiritual virtue. I'm basing this not so much on my past relationships but on the behavior of women I encounter on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 to theguyfromanotherforum: I am curious what your GF is like around she is around other friends and her family. Is she the same way with them as she is around you? If she a ChattyCathy with everyone else except you that should tell you something? I was also struck by your comment: "I suspect that it is because I have been slow to marry her." If communication is so bad that you can only guess whether this is an issue, that's a pretty serious problem. I completely share Berkshire's views about the value of being able to speak your GF's native language. It can sometimes really help in the intimacy and communication department, and help humanize you in the eyes of others. I don't know. Comparing her with other Thai girls I think she is more reserved in general. However like other Thai girls she spends a lot of time on FB and reading crap. I think some women are the type where you have to guess what they think, to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Time for a change .... No use staying in a bad relationship. Someone needs to make the first move and say good bye and good luck. Next time don't be in a hurry finding your mate and don't get too attached to the first one until you see a few. Also, Why do you worry so much about meeting new girls, there are good and bad. You need to look at dating as fun and exciting. You go out with many girls and just enjoy yourself. Don't force anything and be natural. When you meet the right one you will know it. If you have a low self image make a few improvements, go to gym, buy some new cloths, get a hair cut and shave, clean your teeth, etc .... Spend some time alone figuring out what you really want and after go for it.... Also note .... Any girl you have to pay to be with you is not worth having as a girlfriend. They are for your and other guys fun only .... Not for keeps Good luck ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Are there any loving moments together - touching, cuddling, or laughter or are you like two separate identities that happen to share the saem space.....Thai gals can be quiet and introspective but this is usually offset by genuine touching and caring qualities..... It's possible SHE has been controlled in her life before and is doing her best not to let it happen again while obviously sharing all that she has openly with you..... You could have an unpolished diamond there.....try learning Thai while she is working....maybe she is unsure what you are doing in her working hours....maybe you've turned quiet no tow an you are a couple of mysteries orbiting each other...... Good luck.....show her plenty of love..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bkkjames Posted August 15, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) Stop complaining - I bet there a millions of guys that wish they got the same silence treatment you get. Edited August 15, 2014 by bkkjames 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Stop complaining - I bet there a millions of guys that wish they got the same silence treatment you get. Indeed. The OP should also remember the saying, "Women, you can't live with them, you can't live with them" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I think you should make a list of every subject you've ever discussed with this girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theguyfromanotherforum Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Are there any loving moments together - touching, cuddling, or laughter or are you like two separate identities that happen to share the saem space.....Thai gals can be quiet and introspective but this is usually offset by genuine touching and caring qualities..... It's possible SHE has been controlled in her life before and is doing her best not to let it happen again while obviously sharing all that she has openly with you..... You could have an unpolished diamond there.....try learning Thai while she is working....maybe she is unsure what you are doing in her working hours....maybe you've turned quiet no tow an you are a couple of mysteries orbiting each other...... Good luck.....show her plenty of love..... Yes... there are moments like that. I also do try to crack a joke and do something silly to make her laugh.... and she does laugh. But quickly she goes quiet and it really makes me puzzled. Thank you! I don't have a poor self image and I am more worried about my newly diagnosed adult Asthma than finding a girlfriend. As a matter of fact I go to gym and sauna often to fight this disease.... so I am in good shape.... at least physically. Internally.... well who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dagobert Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Yeah sounds great to me stick it out "Sounds like your on a winner" Relationship based on friendship and respect rather than sex. Could only get better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palaver Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Often it's two to tango. One's behavior causes another to react. Relationships take work. Not necessarily hard work, but attention and care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyumiii Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Dear Abby, Dear Abby.. I think you can see.... My love life's a mess, From advice on T.V. I never imagined there were so many Dear Abby wanabees on Thai visa. And honestly, why would you want advice on your personal life from the guys on T.V?? about visas, maybe. about farangs in Thailand, maybe. About a good relationship????? You must be kidding...or a troll! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochoo Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) Are there any loving moments together - touching, cuddling, or laughter or are you like two separate identities that happen to share the saem space.....Thai gals can be quiet and introspective but this is usually offset by genuine touching and caring qualities..... It's possible SHE has been controlled in her life before and is doing her best not to let it happen again while obviously sharing all that she has openly with you..... You could have an unpolished diamond there.....try learning Thai while she is working....maybe she is unsure what you are doing in her working hours....maybe you've turned quiet no tow an you are a couple of mysteries orbiting each other...... Good luck.....show her plenty of love..... Yes... there are moments like that. I also do try to crack a joke and do something silly to make her laugh.... and she does laugh. But quickly she goes quiet and it really makes me puzzled. Thank you! I don't have a poor self image and I am more worried about my newly diagnosed adult Asthma than finding a girlfriend. As a matter of fact I go to gym and sauna often to fight this disease.... so I am in good shape.... at least physically. Internally.... well who knows. the girl called op BORING for god sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hear theres 1000s of hi-so chinese thai girls looking for a freeloader bf who is boring..................lol. Edited August 15, 2014 by choochoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I realise now that it is best not to communicate with Mrs.Trans as she always gets the wrong end of the stick. I have tried and tried with noooooo success so am happy to smile my way through the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palaver Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Go with the flow and find another flow if that one doesn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JLCrab Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) Maybe she wants to be shown plenty of love -- not from OP but from another hot girl. Edited August 15, 2014 by JLCrab 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seajae Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 It's not working.... yes. Moving on is sometimes tricky. You think you will find better then you discover 10 different issues you didn't have with a previous girlfriend. I am thinking now that I am in Thailand what crap I am going to have to deal with if I "move on". Crap like girl in debt, girl sending money to her family, girl cheating, lazy gf with no job, stupid, worrying about STD's, etc..... I have none if these problems with my current girl. Communication is a big issue for me, though. hate to tell you this but you dont stay with someone because they are high up on your issues list. Most people stay with their other half because they love each other, without love you basically have nothing. If you want someone to warm your bed fine, but if you want a relationship then you need to change your attitude. Seems to me you simply want company without any other issues raising their heads, maybe you would be better off buying yourself a dog, they are loyal and dont cause any "personal" issues. If you want more find someone you can love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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