Thai perceptions of middle age and the implications

[manarak]

I'd say middle age is the age at which you have half of your productive years behind you, which coincides roughly also with half the lifespan, i.e. middle age is about 42-43 +/- a number of years, YMMV, but I'd say middle age is 35 to 50.

50 to 55 is the age at which we become old, since that is also the age at which senior series start in many sports.

Also, don't forget that many Thais die at age 60 - 70.

[Cypress Hill]

Another question could be " how much does it bother a young thai lady to be with a much older man?

Does it embarrass her?...do her friends frown on such a liaison?

I ask this cos in thai culture i am led to believe age is no big deal providing she is being taken care of financially.

So the next question is:...is it possible for a young thai lady to actually "love" an older man just for who they are?

I think i know the answer!..........and it is yes but there still has to be "the taking care" without that "love" flies out the door.

I've seen young local women looking acutely embarrassed to be seen with older-looking Western men.

Thai observers tend to jump to the same conclusions as most Westerners do - namely that there's an element of financial compensaiton at play.

Of course, most men don't really care how the woman feels about it - why would they? They're paying her to ignore her shame

Edited August 21, 2014 by Cypress Hill

[DiDiChok]

Does nobody appreciate that the older you get, the more younger ones there are to choose from?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Bible says 3 score and ten (=70).

Dividing into 3

Young 0-24

Middle 24-47

Old 47-70

How easy was that?

[Mousehound]

I've met plenty of guys in their twenties that are mentally old and conservative a few in their seventies that are really young in their approach to life.

[Kudel]

Does nobody appreciate that the older you get, the more younger ones there are to choose from?

Yes but then they fall of balcony's or die with their boots on and their nanny state embassy's are to clean up the mess they left behind with taxpayers money.

[pgrahmm]

As Elvis said "cool never goes out of style"......my wife thinks she is old at 36......she in fact looks much younger.....I'm 66 and have/still participate in sports & have had people put me as younger....associating with the younger players and people of all ages through the years probably helps....but body wise the years of sports is catching up......I think there is alot to grooming and care - there is also something refreshing about a young spirited open mind and approach to life that dis-enfranchises age to those around you....they love it when I'm out running down the frisbie with them or hiking....for me possibly middle age just left but fortunately my family have gone to their 90's+ with rosie cheeks and young spirits so part might be genetics disposition too.....

[samuibeachcomber]

Bible says 3 score and ten (=70).

Dividing into 3

Young 0-24

Middle 24-47

Old 47-70

How easy was that?

what about the over 70's?..............yes no need to answer 'they are walking down the corridor to the waiting room!

[pgrahmm]

As Elvis said "cool never goes out of style"......my wife thinks she is old at 36......she in fact looks much younger.....I'm 66 and have/still participate in sports & have had people put me as younger....associating with the younger players and people of all ages through the years probably helps....but body wise the years of sports is catching up......I think there is alot to grooming and care - there is also something refreshing about a young spirited open mind and approach to life that dis-enfranchises age to those around you....they love it when I'm out running down the frisbie with them or hiking....for me possibly middle age just left but fortunately my family have gone to their 90's+ with rosie cheeks and young spirits so part might be genetics disposition too.....

[HooHaa]

The older I get the more they (office girls) stay the same. I see no problem with this.

dazed and confused, i suspect adjusted for the current political climate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiM5axZV-pM

[Doc46]

it all depends who you ask, young people will say im old, old people will say im young, I say I really dont care wheres the jet ski and pour me another drink your as old as you feel.

No sir,,you are as old as the women you feel,,,,

[CharlieH]

Posts removed, some edited, some off topic.

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[pigeonjake]

im 54 young in my mind,

im in the uk at the moment sorting out a visa for work,

i had a game of cricket on sunday,, now my body is telling me im not as young as i think,,lol

[ttthailand]

Middle age I think is 40 to 60. 60 to 70 is the start of old age. I would say old is 70 up to 120

However, other than age which is just a number there are so many other things you need to look at, health, fitness, hair thickness and color, complexion etc ... All of these things people look at and make a guess how old you are. Some people 50 look like they are 40 and some look 60.

So ... is your question what age do you need to look to be considered middle age or just what age to be middle aged ?

[mrfaroukh]

As long as you have money you are always Handsome man and young in Thailand.

[JAFO]

I have always found the term "Middle Aged" to be very western as we tend to want to bucket, silo or categorize people. Must be a data thing. Some how having labels on people makes us comfortable. Like the term "Mid Life Crisis". I always found that term to be silly.

I personally do not think Thais even consider middle aged in any discussions( I could be wrong). I sure have never heard it used or even discussed in the work place or outside it. It seems as if you are either young or old in Thailand.

Along these same lines though one thing I have noticed is that after about 32 -35ish in Thailand you do not seem to be employable in a medical, some business segments or retail sector. It seems(generally speaking) that most after that age who quit a position or get let go either own a food/clothing type business or work for their parents. I have browsed numerous hiring media and its amazing what they post and require for an applicant. Sad in many ways as they lose a ton of experience and mentor-ship by alienating them.

Good Post OP

[tahaan]

As long as you have money you are always Handsome man and young in Thailand.

No, eventually that 'hansum man' turns to 'papa'

[TacoGuy]

I think most Westerners automatically look a decade older than they are to Thais (and vice versa the other way). So whereas we might say 60 is the boundary between middle and old, a Thai is likely to view someone aged 50+ as old. God only knows what they think of those genuine oldies being led about by young women in their twenties.

[Jaybee2]

I have always found the term "Middle Aged" to be very western as we tend to want to bucket, silo or categorize people. Must be a data thing. Some how having labels on people makes us comfortable. Like the term "Mid Life Crisis". I always found that term to be silly.

I personally do not think Thais even consider middle aged in any discussions( I could be wrong). I sure have never heard it used or even discussed in the work place or outside it. It seems as if you are either young or old in Thailand.

Along these same lines though one thing I have noticed is that after about 32 -35ish in Thailand you do not seem to be employable in a medical, some business segments or retail sector. It seems(generally speaking) that most after that age who quit a position or get let go either own a food/clothing type business or work for their parents. I have browsed numerous hiring media and its amazing what they post and require for an applicant. Sad in many ways as they lose a ton of experience and mentor-ship by alienating them.

Good Post OP

I spent some time one year with a lady from Samut Prakhan, and went there to visit with her and her family. It was a very interesting trip. She lived in what would be considered a nice little house there, but not much furniture. The dining table was concrete in the front yard. Every yard was fenced, and had a little altar in front, too. When I saw some people barbequeing in their front yards, the fire lighting it up a bit, but the house dark, she said "not have money for power," and I saw several houses like that.

She had an 8 year old son. After dinner with her mom and friends, someone asked the boy to put on a show for us. He did his cheerleader routine from school. It was very good. He looked completely like a boy, but his singing voice, and all the moves and mannerisms were ilke a girl. After, his mom looked at me, let out a big sigh, and said, "yes I think he will be a ladyboy. Oh, well, at least he won't be rough and fighting like the other boys, too many gangs." It never seemed to occur to her to tell him to be a little more macho or try to change him.

There was one other peculiar thing at her house, which was a little boy, maybe 2 years youger than son, who lived there. Sort of. Her son had to go to bed at 8 o'clock, he was a good student, and she was very strict with him. The other boy was up til all hours, she never told him to go to bed, or corrected him in any way, he did as he pleased. She said he is not my son, it is not for me to tell him what to do. Seems a friend of hers in the neighborhood had a BF, who got involved in a drug deal. When the police got wind of it, they busted their house. The BF was gone, but the police found a kilo of heroin. She got a 20 year sentence. When the son came around her house, looking for a handout, and a roof over his head, she let him stay. He didn't eat with the family, he ate the scraps left over, or what anyone would give him from their plate. After every one else had gone to bed, he slept on the floor in the living room. At the time, a GF who had been in some sort of accident, and lost her job, was temporarily sleeping on the living room floor also, and she comforted the boy, they slept together. He was a good-natured little sprite, but it was extremely sad when he came and climbed in my lap and asked me if I would be his father.

My lady friend was 34 years old. When we were alone, she pulled out her scrapbook, the story of her life. Pics of a litte girl, then her high school photos. She was a real beauty then. A few years after high school, she got a good job working at a big engineering firm, which had its' own building in BKK. There were the pics of her and her mates who worked there. She was looking very pretty, manning the front desk as receptionis/secretary, answering the phones, and greeting clients as they came in the door.

She became involved with one of the engineers, they lived together and were engaged to be married. She told me he was a wonderful man, and treated her like a princess. She looked at his picture with love and sadness in her eyes. He was the love of her life, she said, such a good man, she would never find another like him. Thinking maybe he had met with an untimely death, I asked her what happened to him. He left me, she said, it was all my fault. I cheated on him one too many times, he had warned me, if it happened again, he would leave, and was true to his word. I was a stupid girl, I was a fool. I was used to all the attention from men all my life, and I liked it, it was hard for me to resist, when I was with a handsome man, and we were having fun together. I was wrong, I treated him badly, I didn't think he would leave me. If I only had it to do over again, she sobbed.. She wiped the tears from her eyes before they could run down her cheeks. And smiled at me, as Thais do, but a sad smile, full of remorse and regret.

When she was 33, she was called to the boss's office. They were letting her go, a young lady would be replacing her. She was too old for the receptionist job anymore, and they did not have another position for her. So she was working with her mom at her open air restaurant, along the canal, near the big fish market in Samut Prakhan. Sometimes, on the weekends, she took the bus, straight up Sukhumvit Road to the bars in Bangkok, about 20 miles away, hoping to meet a farang, hoping her luck would change. That is how I met her.

There's more to that story, but that's enough for now, as the point has been made. It is a cruel world there. One day she is young and beautiful, has a good job, surrounded by successful young professional men throwing themselves at her. A decade later, she is feeling old and sad, feeling that life has passed her by, her best years are behind her, and from her point of view, she has no one to blame, but herself.

Edited August 21, 2014 by Jaybee2

[dotpoom]

I'm middle aged but I look much younger with my string singlet, sandals and black socks and my sweep across, tatsefully dyed-red hair

I'm trying to figure out how people can see your lovely hair under the white handkerchief knotted at the four corners?

[jpeg]

Asians don't have 'middle age'. you're either young or old. As can be seen from the variety of what passes for fashionable clothing here.

[ttthailand]

Thai girls think they are old at 26 .... Hahaha.... Some are !

[buhi]

Thai girls think they are old at 26 .... Hahaha.... Some are !

And the farangs think they are 66, many are, ha ha !

[Kudel]

_{I think most young Thai woman would have posters from David Beckham hanging in their bedrooms instead of Tom Jones.}

_{Concerning being called a handsume man ever seen how many good looking Thai men there are in Thailand?There are even bars in Thailand only woman allowed where Thai woman can have their way with young Thai men for pay of course apparently also very popular with bargirls in pattaya.}

[Donnie Brasco]

Dress properly and groom yourself properly AT ALL TIMES and you will never be seen as "past it."

Thai women of all ages and classes and for widely varying reasons have a weakness for the, um, "sharp-dressed man"

Do that . . . . DRESS WELL at all times.

Laundered shirts

Tailored pants

Fashionable watch

Good belt

Hi-end shoes, socks, eyeglass frames, sunglasses

Good haircut

SHAVE every day with good products

Take care of your teeth.

Floss, brush, maintain.

Carry a toothbrush, comb and some deodorant in your neat fashionable computer bag.

If you sweat, carry a small white towel.

Keep your shoes shined.

Get a regular hair trimming

Respect yourself and dress like you do

Above all don't believe for one minute that your "inner Hi-So" shines through that pair of cargo shorts, singlet and Tevas you wear because you find it comfortable to dress like a child in this hot weather.

Dress like you respect those around you.

Try it. Next time you step into an elevator full of office gals you just might get a few checking you out.

And after ten minutes outside you will look like a sweat drenched bag of sh**e - nice in theory and possibly has some truth but very difficult in reality unless you exist in an air conditioned environment - you also would look pretty daft on a motor bike wearing all that clobber.

It gives us all something to aspire to....

. . . . . . a properly dressed "sweat drenched bag of sh*te" as opposed to a cargo-shorted "whiff-source" sporting a salt-stained Same Same T-shirt, oily comb-over, flip-flops and a hip wallet.

Sorry Dude but the rest of this is mostly about personal hygiene.

I'll just leave it there.

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[Donnie Brasco]

Dress properly and groom yourself properly AT ALL TIMES and you will never be seen as "past it."

Thai women of all ages and classes and for widely varying reasons have a weakness for the, um, "sharp-dressed man"

Do that . . . . DRESS WELL at all times.

Laundered shirts

Tailored pants

Fashionable watch

Good belt

Hi-end shoes, socks, eyeglass frames, sunglasses

Good haircut

SHAVE every day with good products

Take care of your teeth.

Floss, brush, maintain.

Carry a toothbrush, comb and some deodorant in your neat fashionable computer bag.

If you sweat, carry a small white towel.

Keep your shoes shined.

Get a regular hair trimming

Respect yourself and dress like you do

Above all don't believe for one minute that your "inner Hi-So" shines through that pair of cargo shorts, singlet and Tevas you wear because you find it comfortable to dress like a child in this hot weather.

Dress like you respect those around you.

Try it. Next time you step into an elevator full of office gals you just might get a few checking you out.

I'm a Thai woman. And if any guys dress like you suggested; me and a lot of girls would think they are GAY !!!

Real guys can look good afford less, unless those unattractive ones. :-)

Hi LOWH

This is a thread about older guys . . . . . . . Properly dressed older guys.

Guys who are at ease with women of all ages and happen to be old enough to be your uncle.

That "old guy" with whom your best friend or even your daughter is spending entirely too much time.

The guy she went to Japan with ? France ? New York ?

The "interesting" guy she met at that Samui spa ?

Gay ? Really ;-?

Sadly, what you actually mean is that he paid very little attention to you.

In fact beyond your role as a chaperone he showed little interest.

Yeah, he's gay.

Gay as a plaid rabbit :-))

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

[LOWH]

Dress properly and groom yourself properly AT ALL TIMES and you will never be seen as "past it."

Thai women of all ages and classes and for widely varying reasons have a weakness for the, um, "sharp-dressed man"

Do that . . . . DRESS WELL at all times.

Laundered shirts

Tailored pants

Fashionable watch

Good belt

Hi-end shoes, socks, eyeglass frames, sunglasses

Good haircut

SHAVE every day with good products

Take care of your teeth.

Floss, brush, maintain.

Carry a toothbrush, comb and some deodorant in your neat fashionable computer bag.

If you sweat, carry a small white towel.

Keep your shoes shined.

Get a regular hair trimming

Respect yourself and dress like you do

Above all don't believe for one minute that your "inner Hi-So" shines through that pair of cargo shorts, singlet and Tevas you wear because you find it comfortable to dress like a child in this hot weather.

Dress like you respect those around you.

Try it. Next time you step into an elevator full of office gals you just might get a few checking you out.

I'm a Thai woman. And if any guys dress like you suggested; me and a lot of girls would think they are GAY !!!

Real guys can look good afford less, unless those unattractive ones. :-)

Hi LOWH

This is a thread about older guys . . . . . . . Properly dressed older guys.

Guys who are at ease with women of all ages and happen to be old enough to be your uncle.

That "old guy" with whom your best friend or even your daughter is spending entirely too much time.

The guy she went to Japan with ? France ? New York ?

The "interesting" guy she met at that Samui spa ?

Gay ? Really ;-?

Sadly, what you actually mean is that he paid very little attention to you.

In fact beyond your role as a chaperone he showed little interest.

Yeah, he's gay.

Gay as a plaid rabbit :-))

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

I soooo can't relate to what you said. I'm so far to have any children, let alone daughter. Maybe I'm too young or even too realistic to understand your old man GQ fashion advices. ;-)

Best dress guys I've even known, 90% are gays. Sorry to state the fact.

Again, I soooo can't relate of whom you speak of? Who you mean paid no attention/interest? Are you a psychic, to be able to 'see' things happened in people's lives?

Bitter old B... What is it the words they use in English?

[Seastallion]

I only listen to my Thai wife.

She keeps telling me I'm young and hansum.

Why would I bother with other opinions?

That suits me fine.

Must be all that Badger Milk that you drink

Yep, and I would advice everybody to follow my diet on Badger milk.

Especially, that Mr ND, judging from his avatar, I do think he's got some kind of skin, face disorder.

We should both try to introduce him to the miracle effects of Badger, ant or gerbil milk.

well i would guess by ND's avatar he indeed needs some badger's milk quick smart...cos his face looks like its been sucked dry!

That's because he's 99 and a hermaphrodite.

[Donnie Brasco]

Dress properly and groom yourself properly AT ALL TIMES and you will never be seen as "past it."

Thai women of all ages and classes and for widely varying reasons have a weakness for the, um, "sharp-dressed man"

Do that . . . . DRESS WELL at all times.

Laundered shirts

Tailored pants

Fashionable watch

Good belt

Hi-end shoes, socks, eyeglass frames, sunglasses

Good haircut

SHAVE every day with good products

Take care of your teeth.

Floss, brush, maintain.

Carry a toothbrush, comb and some deodorant in your neat fashionable computer bag.

If you sweat, carry a small white towel.

Keep your shoes shined.

Get a regular hair trimming

Respect yourself and dress like you do

Above all don't believe for one minute that your "inner Hi-So" shines through that pair of cargo shorts, singlet and Tevas you wear because you find it comfortable to dress like a child in this hot weather.

Dress like you respect those around you.

Try it. Next time you step into an elevator full of office gals you just might get a few checking you out.

I'm a Thai woman. And if any guys dress like you suggested; me and a lot of girls would think they are GAY !!!

Real guys can look good afford less, unless those unattractive ones. :-)

Hi LOWH

This is a thread about older guys . . . . . . . Properly dressed older guys.

Guys who are at ease with women of all ages and happen to be old enough to be your uncle.

That "old guy" with whom your best friend or even your daughter is spending entirely too much time.

The guy she went to Japan with ? France ? New York ?

The "interesting" guy she met at that Samui spa ?

Gay ? Really ;-?

Sadly, what you actually mean is that he paid very little attention to you.

In fact beyond your role as a chaperone he showed little interest.

Yeah, he's gay.

Gay as a plaid rabbit :-))

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

I soooo can't relate to what you said. I'm so far to have any children, let alone daughter. Maybe I'm too young or even too realistic to understand your old man GQ fashion advices. ;-)

Best dress guys I've even known, 90% are gays. Sorry to state the fact.

Again, I soooo can't relate of whom you speak of? Who you mean paid no attention/interest? Are you a psychic, to be able to 'see' things happened in people's lives?

Bitter old B... What is it the words they use in English?

Firstly: You need to learn the difference between fact and opinion. The mere fact that an opinion is *your* opinion does not make it a fact.

Secondly: Your sooooo youthful burbling is simply irrelevant to the subject at hand.

Thirdly: This is not a thread about you or the gravitas that you feel that your self-proclaimed credentials as a young Thai woman might bring to the topic.

It's about the perceptions and prejudices that local people appear to bring to the subject of age and aging.

The most credible evidence that you ARE in fact who you say you are is that in addition to assuming that your opinion is of interest is your failure to comprehend the spirit of this thread.

But hey, at least you appear to be practicing a) your English or your notion of how a Thai girl speaks English.

Don't you have anything else to do ?

None of those raggedy-ass boys showing any interest ?

[LOWH]

Dress properly and groom yourself properly AT ALL TIMES and you will never be seen as "past it."

Thai women of all ages and classes and for widely varying reasons have a weakness for the, um, "sharp-dressed man"

Do that . . . . DRESS WELL at all times.

Laundered shirts

Tailored pants

Fashionable watch

Good belt

Hi-end shoes, socks, eyeglass frames, sunglasses

Good haircut

SHAVE every day with good products

Take care of your teeth.

Floss, brush, maintain.

Carry a toothbrush, comb and some deodorant in your neat fashionable computer bag.

If you sweat, carry a small white towel.

Keep your shoes shined.

Get a regular hair trimming

Respect yourself and dress like you do

Above all don't believe for one minute that your "inner Hi-So" shines through that pair of cargo shorts, singlet and Tevas you wear because you find it comfortable to dress like a child in this hot weather.

Dress like you respect those around you.

Try it. Next time you step into an elevator full of office gals you just might get a few checking you out.

I'm a Thai woman. And if any guys dress like you suggested; me and a lot of girls would think they are GAY !!!

Real guys can look good afford less, unless those unattractive ones. :-)

Hi LOWH

This is a thread about older guys . . . . . . . Properly dressed older guys.

Guys who are at ease with women of all ages and happen to be old enough to be your uncle.

That "old guy" with whom your best friend or even your daughter is spending entirely too much time.

The guy she went to Japan with ? France ? New York ?

The "interesting" guy she met at that Samui spa ?

Gay ? Really ;-?

Sadly, what you actually mean is that he paid very little attention to you.

In fact beyond your role as a chaperone he showed little interest.

Yeah, he's gay.

Gay as a plaid rabbit :-))

"Sometimes, 'fuggedabowdit' just means fuggedabowdit. . . . "

I soooo can't relate to what you said. I'm so far to have any children, let alone daughter. Maybe I'm too young or even too realistic to understand your old man GQ fashion advices. ;-)

Best dress guys I've even known, 90% are gays. Sorry to state the fact.

Again, I soooo can't relate of whom you speak of? Who you mean paid no attention/interest? Are you a psychic, to be able to 'see' things happened in people's lives?

Bitter old B... What is it the words they use in English?

Firstly: You need to learn the difference between fact and opinion. The mere fact that an opinion is *your* opinion does not make it a fact.

Secondly: Your sooooo youthful burbling is simply irrelevant to the subject at hand.

Thirdly: This is not a thread about you or the gravitas that you feel that your self-proclaimed credentials as a young Thai woman might bring to the topic.

It's about the perceptions and prejudices that local people appear to bring to the subject of age and aging.

The most credible evidence that you ARE in fact who you say you are is that in addition to assuming that your opinion is of interest is your failure to comprehend the spirit of this thread.

But hey, at least you appear to be practicing a) your English or your notion of how a Thai girl speaks English.

Don't you have anything else to do ?

None of those raggedy-ass boys showing any interest ?

Firstly:

I believe that it's a PUBLIC web broad. Anyone can have opinion relating to the thread. Is TV YOUR personal property??? Did I state something out of the topic???

Secondly:

according to your rude, is the life so hard to you? That you can't live with anyone who see different from you? If I didn't say I'm a Thai woman, would you be this rude? Are you racist or sexist OR BOTH?

Thirdly:

I know nice Psychologists to make your life a better place. ;-)

P.s. My personal love life is personal periods. I would rather not to discuss with an bitter old B.