Is Thai bar girl different to most?

[Gecko123]

You are not alone in this situation...plenty guys reading this are just like you but don't have the balls to post.

Almost everyone on this thread who has offered advice has been very open about the fact that they are speaking from experience, meaning that they have become romantically involved with a bar girl at one time or another. Those who are pretending otherwise, I share your skepticism about whether they are being truthful.

I don't think anyone is passing moral judgment on the OP for becoming involved with a bar girl. However, what they are passing judgment on, and for good reason, is the OP's naivete and lack of common sense. What has people gasping in disbelief and rubbing their eyes incredulously are the OP's belief that:

(1) despite his girlfriend's continued employment in a go-go bar, she is no longer providing sexual favors to the customers, and,

(2) despite the OP providing no financial support to her, or making any promises to do so anytime in the future, she is willing to do this indefinitely for little reason other than she likes him as a person.

Possible? I suppose. Probable? Not likely. I like fairy tales as much as the next guy, but to believe this I wouldn't have to just suspend disbelief; I'd need to give myself a lobotomy.

In my opinion, the OP seems hellbent on imposing onto this situation his conceptualization of how a typical boy/girl courtship should progress. I don't sense that the OP has much awareness whatsoever that there are two cultures in play here. This seems like a recipe for disappointment, if not disaster. But I guess some people need to learn the hard way.

Edited September 5, 2014 by Gecko123

[Bernard Flint]

Call me a liar, but I've never been with a ho. Just don't know what the appeal is since I pass by ramkhamheang uni every day and see plenty of gorgeous girls who I would be chatting up if I wasn't in a relationship. Paying for sex in thailand is lunacy and getting involved with a prostitute is beyond stupid. When I was 38 I was able to get a well off Thai gal in Canada 15 years younger and hot. When we travelled to bangkok to see her family she told me she wants to take me to soi cowboy because she was scared i'd go by myself. Then her hiso friends. whispered they were courious about those bars and wanted to go. So I went with 6 really nicely dressed girls into a strip joint. It was a fun night. When would I be able to experience something like this with a bar girl? I'm anti social and average looking and I never stooped so low like the op

why does pompous and arrogant come to mind

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Not arrogant. I am well aware of my shortcummings unlike the posters like op that say I don't have trouble finding a gf yet they go straight into brothel. ROFL

[thailiketoo]

What a lot of guys dont understand that sex for $s is just a job for the girls. No attachmentt or love involved. Just letting a man insert an ercet member-in a soft and juicy place..

If you can get over that bargirls make great girlfriends.................................lol.

No it's not. But you don't have the experience to be able to rationally discuss the issue. I think it is you who don't understand. The guy paying the bills every night or hour or whatever surly understands better than you that he is paying for it. Sometimes when a bargirl cries it's real tears. Sometimes not. For sure you don't know. Does the man she sheds the tears over understand? Maybe yes or maybe no but certainly more than you who have no point of reference.

[choochoo]

Who doenst want a bargirl as a gf is the question?

Anyways last night i saw a hellogirl in nana plaza lollipops who i thought doesnt go with customers go with one.......................lol. She is way hotter than 95% of bargirls.

[scoteng]

Gut feeling says I'm on to a good one. If it turns out I was totally wrong I will be straight on here with my pants down and let people know of the experience. *case closed*.

[Gecko123]

A bargirl who doesn't go with customers? Is that anything like...?

A barber who doesn't cut hair?

A mechanic who doesn't do oil changes?

A waitress who doesn't serve food ?

A doctor who doesn't diagnose?

A meter maid who doesn't write parking tickets?

A gardener who doesn't cut grass?

A Santa Claus who doesn't deliver presents?

A priest who doesn't hear confessions?

[scoteng]

get a hold of her mobile. Since she has a lot of customers see how long her contacts list is. If its looooooooooooong you got a bad one. A girl who only hustles for drinks doesnt need a list of customers.

My gut feeling tells me op is a humptity dumpity....................lol.

She hasn't had anything to hide. When I have been with her she always leaves her phone around and lets me go on it at my own free will and doesn't look concerned when I go on it.

[scoteng]

A bargirl who doesn't go with customers? Is that anything like...?

A barber who doesn't cut hair?

A mechanic who doesn't do oil changes?

A waitress who doesn't serve food ?

A doctor who doesn't diagnose?

A meter maid who doesn't write parking tickets?

A gardener who doesn't cut grass?

A Santa Claus who doesn't deliver presents?

A priest who doesn't hear confessions?

Job description is bar girl, which can mean serving drinks, encouraging people in the bar and getting lady drinks, not prostitute. Not exactly same as a barber who doesn't cut hair etc.

[choochoo]

OK. Say she is good. What you gonna do. You not in thailand.

Furthermore. If she doesnt go with customers what were you when you first met. Food or health inspector. Doctor who give venereal disease tests?

Edited September 5, 2014 by choochoo

[oldsailor35]

Costas - Thanks for your kind words and advice, you talk a lot of sense and will go along with that.

RandomSand - Think the plan might be to visit 2-3 times a year and see where we're at in 2-3 years time. I would ideally like her to move over to the UK as although I would love to live in Thailand it's just not realistic with getting a job and earning any kind of decent money. I think it is pretty hard getting a visa for thais? Anyone on here managed to secure a visa without much trouble? I guess if we wait 3 years it should be a bit easier securing one? I work as a croupier and plan on hopefully getting a move to a London casino in the near future and earning more money to make things a lot easier with travelling and possibly visa fees etc.

Seperately I also forgot to add that she actually paid for the flight from Bangkok to Koh Samui which was 11,000 baht and pays for odd meals and drinks sometimes.

She does'nt bar fine and you don't send her any money.....yet. So where does the money come from ? It has been known for girls to manage on the money from a couple of other farang until she has 'softened' you up a bit. If i were you, especially seeing as how you are in love with her. I would pay for the investigation services that are available, she would have no idea, and believe me there have been a lot of very surprised men who had no idea what was going on. There are many lucky men who have got genuine girls and can live contentedly knowing that "their" girl really loves them.

[mrtoad]

This just gets better an better

[metisdead]

A number of trolling nonsense posts have been removed.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

It's the part of l

[oldsailor35]

She says she doesn't bar fine now as she loves me too much to do that, but does shows and dancing.

The OP in my opinion is just a 24 year old kid and all this is a great adventure for him.

If the so-called love of his life is still in with the bar scene, than she is going with tricks, Johns, customers, however you like to describe them, no questions about it, 100%.

What should be the main concerns of the OP that if he has been having unprotected sex with a prostitute is the fact that he may have been exposed to HIV or aids and should have himself tested a.s.a.p. Because the odds are that this woman will never be loyal to 1 guy but probably has several on the go, paying or not, including as most have, a hanger on Thai boyfriend.

Many if not seeking an immediate earner will be looking for ways to obtain a residence and visas in the hope of living abroad and view the gullible farang as a means of leaving Thailand.

Whether the OP wants to face the facts and believe or not is up to him, and how far he decides to take this adventure is at his own risk and discretion.

Just a typical poster branding every bar girl as the same. Surely some of them can be good they can't all be the same? By the way she is not the love of my life. Seen her for 5 months hardly love of my life. Love of my life was my previous girlfriend.

Ten girls work at the bar i use. Two of them "do not" go with customers as they have got boy friends in England and Germany. So lets get used to the idea that some girls can be and are faithful.

[inbangkok]

A bargirl who doesn't go with customers? Is that anything like...?

A barber who doesn't cut hair?

A mechanic who doesn't do oil changes?

A waitress who doesn't serve food ?

A doctor who doesn't diagnose?

A meter maid who doesn't write parking tickets?

A gardener who doesn't cut grass?

A Santa Claus who doesn't deliver presents?

A priest who doesn't hear confessions?

Job description is bar girl, which can mean serving drinks, encouraging people in the bar and getting lady drinks, not prostitute. Not exactly same as a barber who doesn't cut hair etc.

Hey, if you want this girl to be your GF.....good luck, I mean that. But sh*t man.....put lipstick on a pig and its still a pig! Whats this nonsense about bargirls not being hookers? Are you serious. Like I said, I really don't judge you at all if you want to date this girl....but claiming she is not a prostitute? Oh, please. And even if she isn't hooking anymore, she WAS a hooker. That is how you met.....you renter her for the night. And you need to know how long she has been doing this and make sure she gets tested (and you are with her and see the results) before you even consider not using condoms with her. Don't try to talk yourself out of the reality of the situation. Keep your head up and stay safe! Good luck bro!

And just for your information......at your age, you will have no problem meeting young Thai girls who are not hookers. Join one of the Thai dating sites and you will find a nice GF. I know you think you already did....and maybe so......but just as a backup plan in case things don't work out. Try the online dating world!

Edited September 5, 2014 by inbangkok

[scoteng]

She says she doesn't bar fine now as she loves me too much to do that, but does shows and dancing.

The OP in my opinion is just a 24 year old kid and all this is a great adventure for him.

If the so-called love of his life is still in with the bar scene, than she is going with tricks, Johns, customers, however you like to describe them, no questions about it, 100%.

What should be the main concerns of the OP that if he has been having unprotected sex with a prostitute is the fact that he may have been exposed to HIV or aids and should have himself tested a.s.a.p. Because the odds are that this woman will never be loyal to 1 guy but probably has several on the go, paying or not, including as most have, a hanger on Thai boyfriend.

Many if not seeking an immediate earner will be looking for ways to obtain a residence and visas in the hope of living abroad and view the gullible farang as a means of leaving Thailand.

Whether the OP wants to face the facts and believe or not is up to him, and how far he decides to take this adventure is at his own risk and discretion.

Just a typical poster branding every bar girl as the same. Surely some of them can be good they can't all be the same? By the way she is not the love of my life. Seen her for 5 months hardly love of my life. Love of my life was my previous girlfriend.

Ten girls work at the bar i use. Two of them "do not" go with customers as they have got boy friends in England and Germany. So lets get used to the idea that some girls can be and are faithful.

Thank you it's nice to hear from someone that this is a practice that happens in the bars. She seems very genuine about not bar fining and is getting a bit annoyed now about me questioning it all the time. She tells me a lot about her night and about the customers so confidently it just seems true. She says there's another girl in the bar who doesn't bar fine that has a boyfriend from America but she also says there's still a lot of girls in the bar who bar fine and have boyfriends and she doesn't like it. Been questioning her a lot with all that everyone has said, and I need to stop it or she'll eventually have enough and give up and see no point in us. As regards the money she earns I think it's a very decent amount considering she doesn't bar fine. 12,500 baht basic bar pay for dancing. 6,000 baht for shows. 50 baht per lady drink and she can get up to 20 lady drinks in a night quite easy but let's say she averages 15=750 baht working lets say 25 nights a month = 18,750 baht plus any tips she gets for shows or drinking with customers it all adds up very quickly. She has a lady come in regular with her Norwegian boyfriend that has a lot of money and she sits and drinks with her. She buys champagne etc and she gets 2,000+baht off her for sitting drinking with her for the night. You imagine she came to the bar 10 nights a month that would be 20,000+ just off her. Most normal working thais get around 8000 baht. She gets 18,500 + 50 baht per drink and tips. This could easily amount to 40,000-50,000 baht per month. Is that not enough for a thai to live pretty comfortably especially as her room only sets her back 4,000 a month?

[pgrahmm]

As my sainted Mother used to say - "a guitly conscience needs no accuser" let that be a guide.....good advice no matter which continent.....

[AnotherOneAmerican]

And just for your information......at your age, you will have no problem meeting young Thai girls who are not hookers. Join one of the Thai dating sites and you will find a nice GF. I know you think you already did....and maybe so......but just as a backup plan in case things don't work out. Try the online dating world!

So you think hookers don't work the dating sites?

Hmmmmm, OK.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Ten girls work at the bar i use. Two of them "do not" go with customers as they have got boy friends in England and Germany. So lets get used to the idea that some girls can be and are faithful.

And the bar employs those two out of feelings of charity?

Edited September 5, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[scoteng]

Ten girls work at the bar i use. Two of them "do not" go with customers as they have got boy friends in England and Germany. So lets get used to the idea that some girls can be and are faithful.

And the bar employs those two out of feelings of charity?

Bar girls are not just there for sex. They're hired to entertain the guests and to keep them there for as long as possible and buy as many drinks. A bar only earns around 500 baht for a bar fine but could earn more quite easily having the girl getting the customers to buy her drinks and so on.

[inbangkok]

And just for your information......at your age, you will have no problem meeting young Thai girls who are not hookers. Join one of the Thai dating sites and you will find a nice GF. I know you think you already did....and maybe so......but just as a backup plan in case things don't work out. Try the online dating world!

So you think hookers don't work the dating sites?

Hmmmmm, OK.

LOL....do you purposely try to act like such a jerk when you give responses like this? Or does it just happen naturally?

Of course hookers are on dating sites.....along with tons of girls who are not hookers. Unlike a gogo bar, where 99.9% of the girls are hookers. Why I even bother responding to such a stupid statement......I just don't know sometimes.......

If you have had bad luck on dating sites and find them filled with hookers, that says something about you. I have had great luck meeting very nice girls on dating websites. But then again, I am only in my late 20's, highly educated, and don't possess the horrible attitude so many people here do.

[pgrahmm]

Personally - if I were a hooker/hostess/madam/mam-Isaan - I would only work the dating sites - and Barnum & Bailey would be my manifesto.....

A sucker gets off the plane every 50 minutes......

Enjoy your stay - don't get immotionally investested - unless you are willing to pay.....hansumly........you are beautiful - never ever before had a man like you.......what bank did you say you used?????....you are my savior.....not.....

[AnotherOneAmerican]

If you have had bad luck on dating sites and find them filled with hookers, that says something about you. I have had great luck meeting very nice girls on dating websites. But then again, I am only in my late 20's, highly educated, and don't possess the horrible attitude so many people here do.

You are in your 20s and have to use dating sites in Thailand to find female companionship?

555555555 .............

[inbangkok]

If you have had bad luck on dating sites and find them filled with hookers, that says something about you. I have had great luck meeting very nice girls on dating websites. But then again, I am only in my late 20's, highly educated, and don't possess the horrible attitude so many people here do.

You are in your 20s and have to use dating sites in Thailand to find female companionship?

555555555 .............

See, this is what I mean. Do you get some type of enjoyment being such an as* hole from behind a keyboard. What went wrong in your life?

I don't have to use dating sites. I choose too. Just like I choose to meet girls in other places and other ways as well. I am only guessing that you are pretty old and out of touch and therefore don't realize that Thai dating websites are filled with 20 something years old.....far younger than me even.........

But hey, keep sitting behind that keyboard, talking down to everyone. Sounds like a very fulfilling life. Lol

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Bar girls are not just there for sex. They're hired to entertain the guests and to keep them there for as long as possible and buy as many drinks. A bar only earns around 500 baht for a bar fine but could earn more quite easily having the girl getting the customers to buy her drinks and so on.

Please thread, don't end. I am getting old and I need entertainment. This provides.

[TacoGuy]

So you spent £5000 in three weeks in Bangkok but let your teelak pay for flights to Samui. The holes in the story are getting bigger.

People don't read things properly do they? I said I won a few thousand, so I had unexpected money to go out and blow to go and have a good time and get over my previous relationship. I return home and my situation money wise is back to normal. There is a 3 month gap of my return to Thailand so I am hardly going to be loaded for my next trip. I wanted to leave it a little longer but holidays at work were fully booked in august and weather in September is hardly great in Thailand. I would've paid for the flights anyway but she was very insistent. What is actually wrong with her paying for something anyway? Considering she actually probably doesn't earn far off what I get and I'm spending £2,500 total for the trip and her practically nothing? Is it not normal for a british woman to pay money towards things? So any holes you think are getting bigger in this story, well I have just filled them back in. Anything else I'm saying to make any holes bigger for me to fill in? So anyone else saying I'm a troll or making this story up well 555 you are wrong because this is 100% reality and I'm not sad enough like some clowns are to make stories up for giggles. I maybe sad or stupid enough to start a relationship with a bar girl on the other hand. I work nights as a croupier remember so I'm hardly wanting to use any spare time wasted making stories on this website, but of course I might have made up being a croupier 5555 whatever.

Sorry but I'm just getting annoyed with people thinking this real situation is made up and I'm a troll. If you think that don't comment.

Dude, go back and read your post #245 and you wrote £5000. Some people don't write things properly. If you dropped that kind of cash (or even half that) teelak probably thinks you're a big fish and just trying to be modest or make her show sincerity. Anyway, I think you're playing around with her and you're playing around with us on this forum. You went Thailand, had some fun with a bar girl, and now want to convince yourself and the world that it was more than that. Especially yourself. If your feelings were legit you would be desperately trying to keep this girl chaste. You'd be asking how can I make sure she doesn't bar fine, you might even be taking up or wanting to take up some forum members offers to investigate. Instead you're fairly laid back about it. You go to see her in November, have some more fun, and then decide, to move no. No issue with that, it's what guys and gals like you two do. What irks is when you dress it up as a big love affair when your actions and responses show that it is not.

[TacoGuy]

Being 24 and "not desperate" as you said on page 1, would you pursue a relationship in the UK with these identical circumstances?

And why does every poster who picks up a bar girl begin their posts with "I dont struggle with ladies back home"

and yet they come to a third world country, and pick up a hooker (no skills/effort/hansumness required) and wonder why people dont believe a word they say

I came out of a 5 year relationship and won a few thousand on a football bet. My mate said he was heading out to Thailand so I thought screw it never been that part of the world before. I'd been struggling for months after the break up from her and was off work a while with depression (various other reasons lead to this not just the break up). I wanted to go to Thailand and just have a big blow out, with plenty of bars and female company. I spent £5,000 in 3 weeks in Bangkok! One of my mates we met out there showed us all the ropes and took us to this bar. It was about 1am and I was drunk and he just goes which one do you like? I pointed to one and he waved her down and I really enjoyed her company. I couldn't believe how nice thais were and I possibly made a mistake in going back to see the same one and I kept doing it over again and ended up getting attached. It wasn't meant to happen. Yes I could end up getting a girl here, but I just like how laid back, caring and loving thais are. British girls like to think they're in control and try and make you what they want you to be. It seems thais girls just want you to be happy, and that they're happy when you're happy. Maybe I've just been hit hard by my last break up and lost my way and gone a bit nuts, I don't know.

Post #245 for your reference. Happy reading.

[TacoGuy]

Oh man, run dude! You'll have no trouble catching nice Thai girls.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I don't have to use dating sites. I choose too. Just like I choose to meet girls in other places and other ways as well. I am only guessing that you are pretty old and out of touch and therefore don't realize that Thai dating websites are filled with 20 something years old.....far younger than me even.........

Actually, I'm impressed you are using Thai language dating sites.

I assumed you didn't read and speak Thai at such a young age.