hellohello123 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 The problem with giving money every month is that if you take it away you are looked at as a bad guy. They never say ok ... Thank you for what you have given and it is ok to remove it now. They will feel entitled. Better to have them work for their spending money or if need be slip them a little money now and then. Avoid the paycheck ! Things change if you are married and kids come along. Then you will be taking out of the same pot. Didnt expect a comment like this coming from you!!!!! but I totally agree with it, LIKED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidmann Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 sounds very cheap to me ,she makes you happy you make her happy ,cost more to take girl out for dinner in the UK ,so your on the lucky side 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrfaroukh Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 You have found the gym which is very rare over there specially in tourist cities. You are also saving a lot of money because of her, avoiding all the bar and bar girl expenses. So it is actually she who is taking care of you. Never tell a woman not to work even if she is not earning much, she will be in a habit of working and the work she does would be counted as her work experience which you destroyed it for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 The problem with giving money every month is that if you take it away you are looked at as a bad guy. They never say ok ... Thank you for what you have given and it is ok to remove it now. They will feel entitled. Better to have them work for their spending money or if need be slip them a little money now and then. Avoid the paycheck ! Things change if you are married and kids come along. Then you will be taking out of the same pot. Didnt expect a comment like this coming from you!!!!! but I totally agree with it, LIKED Hellohello123, I may have always had young girlfriends but I don't pay them to be with me. I tried that years ago and it does not work. They must earn their own money. Having said that, i don't mind paying all the living expenses as I would do that if i have a gf or not. There is also nothing wrong with helping out from time to time and a nice surprise gift now and then to show you care. But no paycheck just for being my gf. I think many of these relationships that are about paying start with a barfine. Girl working bar quits and her John pays her to stay with him and not work bar. Basically nothing has changed except he is her only customer (maybe). They call these guys sponsors .... I refuse to be a sponsor ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennypowers Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 It's so weird to me that people say stuff like "You've found a gem", or, "She sounds like the exception to the rule". I mean, what is your perception of Thailand? The large majority of Thai women are hard-working, highly capable (of being independent) individuals. I am sitting in an office building full of thousands of them, right now. I just showed a Thai (female) friend this thread and she was cracking up. Thais find it hilarious that foreign men hang out in the red light districts of tourist areas and with very low class, uneducated Thais in general and then make assumptions about Thai people on that basis. Just find a normal woman for crying out loud. Find a woman around your own age, with a decent education and who speaks a decent level of English and avoid the problems that come from dating hookers or those desperate for anyone with a wallet to support their family. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 It's so weird to me that people say stuff like "You've found a gem", or, "She sounds like the exception to the rule". I mean, what is your perception of Thailand? The large majority of Thai women are hard-working, highly capable (of being independent) individuals. I am sitting in an office building full of thousands of them, right now. I just showed a Thai (female) friend this thread and she was cracking up. Thais find it hilarious that foreign men hang out in the red light districts of tourist areas and with very low class, uneducated Thais in general and then make assumptions about Thai people on that basis. Just find a normal woman for crying out loud. Find a woman around your own age, with a decent education and who speaks a decent level of English and avoid the problems that come from dating hookers or those desperate for anyone with a wallet to support their family. I think a women trying to support a family has more to do with cultural priorities than place of employment or age of the lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claffey Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 When you were 30 would have been attracted to a 55 year old woman??? Of course the relationship is mutually beneficial. However, don't pretend that its real.When something better comes along she will be off... My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellohello123 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 The problem with giving money every month is that if you take it away you are looked at as a bad guy. They never say ok ... Thank you for what you have given and it is ok to remove it now. They will feel entitled. Better to have them work for their spending money or if need be slip them a little money now and then. Avoid the paycheck ! Things change if you are married and kids come along. Then you will be taking out of the same pot. Didnt expect a comment like this coming from you!!!!!but I totally agree with it, LIKED Hellohello123, I may have always had young girlfriends but I don't pay them to be with me. I tried that years ago and it does not work. They must earn their own money. Having said that, i don't mind paying all the living expenses as I would do that if i have a gf or not. There is also nothing wrong with helping out from time to time and a nice surprise gift now and then to show you care. But no paycheck just for being my gf. I think many of these relationships that are about paying start with a barfine. Girl working bar quits and her John pays her to stay with him and not work bar. Basically nothing has changed except he is her only customer (maybe). They call these guys sponsors .... I refuse to be a sponsor ! well, thats the difference between you and me, it could be age gap (im early 30s), could be culturual, could be generational or could be just me, No right or wrong, as long as you know what you are getting yourself into I dont date ladies too much younger then me, yes they look better ,and will keep better, but I cant relate to them as much maybe im in lala land, but I see my partner as equal, I wouldnt want to be paying for all expenses even if i was rich, (if she was pregnant, thats different story) and vice versa, if I was with a stinking rich girl, id feel very self conscious being paid to be with her eg lifestyle costs, ive had a few gfs in thailand, all have been within 5 years of my age, and I didnt pay for everything, it was never even an consdidered, and obviously no sponsoring or paying per month etc. etc. admittedly I proabably did pay about 75% of the meals and stuff when we went out for most of them One lady who was the same age as me, on a whopping sales job, I think earnt more then most farangs in farangland, she had her own car, owned 2 homes outright, and we had a really good time togehter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 When you were 30 would have been attracted to a 55 year old woman??? Of course the relationship is mutually beneficial. However, don't pretend that its real.When something better comes along she will be off... My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... A basic course in human physiology is in order. The male of the species has always had children as long as physically able as has the female of the species. Don't blame men for the differences between the sexes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler19491 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 You met a woman who was working and keeping herself, perhaps in meager circumstances but nevertheless she was independent. You've encouraged her to become financially dependent upon you. It will not end well and she will eventually despise you for the financial control you have over her. I disagree. The OP is not making her dependent upon him, but has been trying to make her situation a bit easier. If the communication between the two of them has been of the nature that the end goal is a permanent relationship, then why would helping her to further that goal be a form of dependency? One caution, and that would be in regard to the 5000 baht gift to the parents. It is my understanding that if this were to become an ongoing thing, and your relationship ultimately went south, the family would still expect the girl to continue the periodic payments, and you don't want to put her into that kind of situation. I would nix anymore payments other than perhaps a small, occasional gift...not of money, but of merchandise. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 . My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... all i can say is that NEVER has a girl said that young girls are attracted(physically) to old wrinky men. Its the old wrinkly man saying age doesnt matter......................lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NCFC Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 The real issue in your relationship will be when she feels ready to go back to work having improved her English skills. How will you feel if she lands a job that is some distance away from where you live? How will you feel when she is gone six days a week and with a daily commute, maybe out for ten hours a day? A point will come when she will not be with you all the time as she now is; are you ok with that? You have all the signs of a good long-term partner and I wish you all the best, but how you face up to the evolving relationship will determine your success, in my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lust Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) Oh... we all know what happens when you give a mouse a piece of cheese. I guess the english will be handy when she gets her new job at a bar. Edited September 5, 2014 by lust Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Oh... we all know what happens when you give a mouse a piece of cheese. I guess the english will be handy when she gets her new job at a bar. what good is english if you come from issarn? employers still wont hire her at monster wages. theres a stigma attached to being from issarn. one bargirl was highly insulted when i asked if issarn was her hometown.................lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ttthailand Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 . My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... all i can say is that NEVER has a girl said that young girls are attracted(physically) to old wrinky men. Its the old wrinkly man saying age doesnt matter......................lol. I am in my fifties and don't have a wrinkle on my body or face so I guess I am not old. I can not understand how a woman can be attracted to young stupid or ugly guys. Three things that will never change: 1.Good looking people will always be good looking no matter what age they are. 2. Ugly people are ugly no matter how old they are. 3. All women like good looking guys. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
off road pat Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Sounds like you have a great girl there,....working a regular job, willing to study,.....follow your' heart and use your brain. Make her happy and you will reap what you sow.... Take good care of her, after what you told I think she deserves it...but don't make her to dependent on you financially....a good relation is also...give and take but never take more than you give...be generous, but not stupid.. In general the Thais are not good in the long game...they start to make mistakes pretty soon....they want to hit the Jackpot to fast....... If she's the right one for you she will take care of you as not many farrang girls would do....(there are always exceptions to any rule...)..... good luck to both of you.... For my two bit worth.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thamesiris Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Personally speaking, if you are both happy with this situation, that's what counts. You have to figure it out day by day. As long as you're not going to ask the money back from her...it's a gift right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williet98248 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 You have known this girl for two months. Not very long. Not long enough. I would give it six months before you make any hard and fast commitments or investing large amounts of money in the relationship. Trying to not being cynical, just urging caution and restraint. If it is real you have plenty of time. This is Thailand, not a problem if you supplement her income. If she wants to work, let her. Her own money and good for her self esteem. In six months you will get to know the girl and her family better. Take a trip to the hometown and visit the parents. My girl is 52 and we have been together for 18 months. She owns a 20 rai farm in Issan and periodically goes home to administrate the farm and see her 95 year old mother. When she is here I give her 13K a month for spending money. She has a mini farm in the garden and raises some vegies to sell at the local market. I consider my girl to be solid gold. I hope yours is too. You will be a happy man. If she isn't you will be an unhappy, poorer and hopefully wiser man. Good on ya' as the Aussies say. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piersbeckett Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) At 55 if you could get a GF of 30 in your own country, then there might be hope, you already know the answer. Wine maybe or hamburger or eggs are best judged at least partially by age. Judging a woman by age means you aren't old enough to have one. Or so old that your own judgement in this regard is impaired. Edited September 5, 2014 by piersbeckett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choochoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) You have known this girl for two months. Not very long. Not long enough. I would give it six months before you make any hard and fast commitments or investing large amounts of money in the relationship. Trying to not being cynical, just urging caution and restraint. If it is real you have plenty of time. This is Thailand, not a problem if you supplement her income. If she wants to work, let her. Her own money and good for her self esteem. In six months you will get to know the girl and her family better. Take a trip to the hometown and visit the parents. My girl is 52 and we have been together for 18 months. She owns a 20 rai farm in Issan and periodically goes home to administrate the farm and see her 95 year old mother. When she is here I give her 13K a month for spending money. She has a mini farm in the garden and raises some vegies to sell at the local market. I consider my girl to be solid gold. I hope yours is too. You will be a happy man. If she isn't you will be an unhappy, poorer and hopefully wiser man. Good on ya' as the Aussies say. Are you saying the farm is full of manure-in other words it doesnt produce income. These stories just dont make cents. If you trying to prove a point dont say you are a major source of income. 52 old thai girl better be gold when man providing $400 a month....lol. Edited September 5, 2014 by choochoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 At 55 if you could get a GF of 30 in your own country, then there might be hope, you already know the answer. Wine maybe or hamburger or eggs are best judged at least partially by age. Judging a woman by age means you aren't old enough to have one. Or so old that your own judgement in this regard is impaired. Ya, what is the saying once an adult and twice a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazygourmet Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Back to the OP topic's tittle/question: No, you did not buy a girlfriend. You are just leasing her... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksam Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 When you were 30 would have been attracted to a 55 year old woman??? Of course the relationship is mutually beneficial. However, don't pretend that its real.When something better comes along she will be off... My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... For someone married to a Thai u demonstrate ignorance. Thai have different perception to age than farang world and throw this rubbish up. Yes its all about "take care" , but point is its two way. I have relationships fall apart here because a fella maybe say 45 down hasn't accumulated enough money to take care LONG TERM. These guys get milked till tank empty. If u think a Thai chick wants a strapping young fella for sex then that's sad. They have had that. They want SECURITY AND BE TAKEN CARE OF. Yes that often includes their kids in Nissan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudcrab Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 . My wife is the same age as me. She really can't understand how a young attractive girl can be physically attracted to an old man.(no offence!)...Thread carefully... all i can say is that NEVER has a girl said that young girls are attracted(physically) to old wrinky men. Its the old wrinkly man saying age doesnt matter......................lol. I am in my fifties and don't have a wrinkle on my body or face so I guess I am not old. I can not understand how a woman can be attracted to young stupid or ugly guys. Three things that will never change: 1.Good looking people will always be good looking no matter what age they are. 2. Ugly people are ugly no matter how old they are. 3. All women like good looking guys. 4. A ttosser is always a tosser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) This topic is not about me and my gf. The OP has a younger gf and wants to know if his relationship is fine or not. I only provide an example of a similar relationship that is doing well. Age is only a number. I am in my 50s but if I told you I was 40 you would believe me, I look young. So now you need to think is a relationship that is 19 years difference that bad, man 40 girl 21. Then add the handsome factor and the confidence in and you got a handsome, confident, 40 year old looking guy.... Then add in a little class and money and then what is there not to like ??? What woman of any age would not want to be with a guy who looks 40, is handsome, is in shape, is educated, has money, has confidence, speaks Thai, and is fun to be with ? I close my case I think you are overestimating the attraction of male personal attributes for a woman. And underestimating the importance of money to a woman. What you have and 10,000bht a month will get you a 20 year younger wife/gf in Thailand. What you have and $10M in the bank will get you a 20 year younger wife/gf in the USA (but not for so long, as she will get it in the divorce settlement) Edited September 5, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapd Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 It's so weird to me that people say stuff like "You've found a gem", or, "She sounds like the exception to the rule". I mean, what is your perception of Thailand? The large majority of Thai women are hard-working, highly capable (of being independent) individuals. I am sitting in an office building full of thousands of them, right now. I just showed a Thai (female) friend this thread and she was cracking up. Thais find it hilarious that foreign men hang out in the red light districts of tourist areas and with very low class, uneducated Thais in general and then make assumptions about Thai people on that basis. Just find a normal woman for crying out loud. Find a woman around your own age, with a decent education and who speaks a decent level of English and avoid the problems that come from dating hookers or those desperate for anyone with a wallet to support their family. The main difference between the bargirls and regular Thai women is that regular Thai women are much more expensive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapd Posted September 5, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted September 5, 2014 (edited) I have a 100% full proof way to find out if it's real or not. Stop paying her. You will have your answer very quickly. Every guy should do this as a test imho. Almost nobody does. The reason is because they all know what the result will be on some level. They would rather just continue to live under the illusion. Edited September 5, 2014 by lapd 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beau thai Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 I have a 100% full proof way to find out if it's real or not. Stop paying her. You will have your answer very quickly. Every guy should do this as a test imho. Almost nobody does. The reason is because they all know what the result will be on some level. They would rather just continue to live under the illusion. And if you had a live-in gf in your home country who earned significantly less than you, so you paid the bills and supported her a little, and then you suddenly stopped paying, you think the outcome would be different than in Thailand?? If so, wake up and smell the coffee. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inbangkok Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 I cannot bear to read through 8 pages of what I am guessing is going to be nonsense......... You sound like a nice guy who found a nice girl you like and are trying to help her out. FAR from what any rational person would consider as "buying" a GF. Just be careful on the getting drunk and handing out money part. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opalred Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 80% of the frangs that land here have been losers in own country and expect things to change when they produce the magic doller or defunked pound but oz money thay like or maybe more handsom man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now