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Right Girl - Right Family ... How do you know when you have found them?

David48

By David48
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Thakkar Gold Member

Thakkar

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Never get married. Ever. Best advise I can give any man

Marriage--What are you getting out of it? Here's what:

You get a live-in sex partner who will grow old with you, give you occasional joy and constant grief. She will want to know "where you go?", "what you do?" and "when you come home?" "And buy some khaw neaw gai yang on the way home, okhai, please?"

You get children who will worry you sick and annoy you when they're young, hate you when they're older and ignore you when they're off to college, except when they need money.

You get a house you never wanted that ties you to living in one place, requires constant upkeep, a lawn that needs mowing and a roof with a disgusting bat living in it.

You get dogs you never wanted who will sleep on your sofa, bark all night, insist on walks you don't want to go on, give you poop to clean up, cost you money, live too long and demand you throw that damn slobbery ball for them to bring right back for you to throw again.

You get in-laws that think you don't deserve their daughter, yak incessantly about you, think you're an idiot, keep mentioning "that doctor" she could've married and how he's just got this award and bought this great house/car/yacht.

You get a sister-in-law who you keep thinking is the one you *should've* married but who's now married to a silver-tongued idiot the parents just lurve. And another rotund sister-in-law who thinks you should've married *her* and keeps giving you the eye.

You get a brother-in-law who also keeps giving you the eye. And another brother-in-law who keeps introducing you to his revolving posse of friends like you were some kind of novelty display.

In other words, you get a fking pain-in-the-arse family.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

T

You're trying to reinforce my opinion yes?

On general Internet forums at least, arguing against someone's point of view is mostly an exercise in futility.

Whether one agrees with a post, or takes a different or opposing position, the result is often the same: the other person's existing point of view is invariably reinforced.

T

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Jip66 Senior Member

Jip66

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However... My best advise is to find a girl who lost her entire family in a plane or bus crash.

Gees, no way are there going to be all the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, in laws etc etc on the same plane or bus.

You pay for the whole extended family (except you & your wife-to-be) to go on a 'nice holiday', just make sure the pilot has the only parachute cheesy.gifcheesy.gifcheesy.gifcheesy.gifcheesy.gif

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Issangeorge Gold Member

Issangeorge

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I find it strange the water pumped "seized" without warning, this throughs some doubt on your story. You would normally get weeks, if not months, of warning, the bearing makes a lot of noise. One thing about Thai "mechanics" many have no idea about belt tension, their way to adjust is to make it as tight as possible, this put to much pressure on any bearing resulting in premature wear.... but still giving considerable warning.

There has to be at least one *** ***** in every thread, doesn't there. My Thai family is great, six live with me and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sadly to say my MIL passed away 7 years ago, but she was a great lady.
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transam Star Member

transam

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I find it strange the water pumped "seized" without warning, this throughs some doubt on your story. You would normally get weeks, if not months, of warning, the bearing makes a lot of noise. One thing about Thai "mechanics" many have no idea about belt tension, their way to adjust is to make it as tight as possible, this put to much pressure on any bearing resulting in premature wear.... but still giving considerable warning.

There has to be at least one *** ***** in every thread, doesn't there. My Thai family is great, six live with me and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sadly to say my MIL passed away 7 years ago, but she was a great lady.

Wow, you feed them all..?...........all the time.........?............Can you adopt Trans....thumbsup.gif

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kurnell Ruby Member

kurnell

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Never get married. Ever. Best advise I can give any man

Marriage--What are you getting out of it? Here's what:

You get a live-in sex partner who will grow old with you, give you occasional joy and constant grief. She will want to know "where you go?", "what you do?" and "when you come home?" "And buy some khaw neaw gai yang on the way home, okhai, please?"

You get children who will worry you sick and annoy you when they're young, hate you when they're older and ignore you when they're off to college, except when they need money.

You get a house you never wanted that ties you to living in one place, requires constant upkeep, a lawn that needs mowing and a roof with a disgusting bat living in it.

You get dogs you never wanted who will sleep on your sofa, bark all night, insist on walks you don't want to go on, give you poop to clean up, cost you money, live too long and demand you throw that damn slobbery ball for them to bring right back for you to throw again.

You get in-laws that think you don't deserve their daughter, yak incessantly about you, think you're an idiot, keep mentioning "that doctor" she could've married and how he's just got this award and bought this great house/car/yacht.

You get a sister-in-law who you keep thinking is the one you *should've* married but who's now married to a silver-tongued idiot the parents just lurve. And another rotund sister-in-law who thinks you should've married *her* and keeps giving you the eye.

You get a brother-in-law who also keeps giving you the eye. And another brother-in-law who keeps introducing you to his revolving posse of friends like you were some kind of novelty display.

In other words, you get a fking pain-in-the-arse family.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

T

You're trying to reinforce my opinion yes?

On general Internet forums at least, arguing against someone's point of view is mostly an exercise in futility.

Whether one agrees with a post, or takes a different or opposing position, the result is often the same: the other person's existing point of view is invariably reinforced.

T

Comedic properties are also missed without the flickering eyebrows or a subtle wink

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pgs Silver Member

pgs

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If you don't speak Thai Its so hard to know what everyone is thinking. The only interpretation is your gf version.If you cannot have a conversation with her family they are never going to know you,or understand you.

I think you need to learn Thai language before you start trying to play happy families.For your safety and your happiness.

Will your gf and her family help you with learning,or would they prefer you not to learn.

Without clear communication,you are living in a bubble.

To be reasonable, that is not just a Thai language thing - it is relevant where ever you marry from or go to live.

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pgs Silver Member

pgs

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Posted (edited)

I could not complain about my Thai family - either the close members or the extended. I've been part of the family & village from the first visit. I am very well looked after, as are they.

So, how do you know?

It's different for everyone. Different people, different hearts.

But you just know.

Edited by pgs
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transam Star Member

transam

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I could not complain about my Thai family - either the close members or the extended. I've been part of the family & village from the first visit. I am very well looked after, as are they.

So, how do you know?

It's different for everyone. Different people, different hearts.

But you just know.

If you look after "them" "you" will perhaps have noooooooo problem........thumbsup.gif

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pgs Silver Member

pgs

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I could not complain about my Thai family - either the close members or the extended. I've been part of the family & village from the first visit. I am very well looked after, as are they.

So, how do you know?

It's different for everyone. Different people, different hearts.

But you just know.

If you look after "them" "you" will perhaps have noooooooo problem........thumbsup.gif

I have no problems with the family at all. Mother dies a few years back, leaving 2 sisters as the last of that generation. Wife cops hell for weeks when she goes home without me. Work doesn't always leave time for holidays.

I'd prefer to be with them than my side of the family.

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Thakkar Gold Member

Thakkar

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Posted

Another very stupid post.

I never heard anyone debating this in my country, but as soon as "we" go to LieLand we ask these stupid questions.

Yes, people elsewhere never have any debates about marriage or family or in-laws. By "elsewhere" I mean on some other planet, in some other galaxy in a special dimension of a different universe.

T

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buhi Advanced Member

buhi

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To David.

Are these beautiful twins your first children? Are they you wife's first children?

If you move to Australia, will your children have the joys of an extended family?

I speak from experience and bitter experience.

I was career oriented and so was my ex wife; we moved far away from relatives for the promotion, top jobs. Used , yes used, qualified childminders to look after our children while we worked to get the huge salaries, the fantastic house, the cars , the everything you could want. But where was the love for our children? From a paid provider, not from family.

OK, I have gone native, but family means more to us in raising our son than anything else. A happier more well balanced child you will be hard to find. I will not talk of the mess of my other children in England, but one managed to stay close to me.

Enough said.

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David48 Star Member

David48

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^^ Mate, thanks for the kinds words, and yes, first kids for us either of us.

And neither of us have been married before.

No family support in the West sadly as both parents have gone up.

My surviving Aunts are 3 hours away and in their 90's

So, in the early years, I'm happy for the boys to live at the Farm

where my partner has a strong Family network.

Oh ... the boys have something to say ...

Boysbuhi_zps383109c2.png

.

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buhi Advanced Member

buhi

Posted
Posted (edited)

^^ Mate, thanks for the kinds words, and yes, first kids for us either of us.

And neither of us have been married before.

No family support in the West sadly as both parents have gone up.

My surviving Aunts are 3 hours away and in their 90's

So, in the early years, I'm happy for the boys to live at the Farm

where my partner has a strong Family network.

Oh ... the boys have something to say ...

Boysbuhi_zps383109c2.png

.

On the plus side, from my experience in Bangkok but also I believe in most areas, nursery education is excellent here. (I have been to conferences in other areas of Thailand where I taught the teachers) It is well known that Thai are particularly able with young children. Nursery education is best through learning by guided play, singing, dancing, role play, exercise. Size of class is not very important, within reason, as mostly the young child has limited fixed concentration and shifts from one focus area to another. Some become fixated on one thing, this is where the teacher guides the child to another area of exploration. (As you can guess this is my field of specialism).

Things go rapidly downhill at Pratom level, where all this wonderful foundation work is discarded. Forty children , sitting in rows, being lectured!

In the best practice there should be no rapid transition and learning by experience should continue while gradually more structured input takes place. Play is still fundamental throughout the primary years.

So David, I think good early years provision might well be available close to the farm.

After that, unfortunately you pay for what you can find. Not all International schools provide quality learning environments and many have unqualified teachers. The best are outstanding and so are their fees!

Edited by buhi
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ALFREDO Platinum Member

ALFREDO

Posted
Posted (edited)

Never get married. Ever. Best advise I can give any man

I have the idea to marry, as soon as I have a serious, easy deadly disease and give so my GF

and my 3 children also a widows pension.

If children involved, my home country knows no age or time limits.

(thinking of the symptoms I have since some time, I have with a good possibility the sickness alreadyerror.gif)

Old age could than also be good time to marry, for the same reason.

Edited by ALFREDO
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ALFREDO Platinum Member

ALFREDO

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I married my wife cause I loved her - not her family. smile.png

My old grandpa always said:

Marry for money, you get money

Marry for a farm, you get a farm

Marry for intelligence, you get intelligence

But... marry for love and you get an eye opener.

I think marrying for love is the biggest mistake people can ever make.

It's one of the main reasons sl many marriages fail.

Just my 2 baht worth...

So marry cause you hate her?

Sorry but Grandpas old saying don't make much sense.

If you make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman, then look for a woman who best measures

up to those qualities, you will come to love her because of the excellent kind of person she is.

If you choose a woman based on some emotional whim, such as love, over time you will likely curse the

day you met her because once you get to know her you find that she comes up short in most areas.

Grandpa had great wisdom. Your idea is the stuff of juvenile romance novels.

I read, heard once

"To get nothing from a woman you love, is often more, than to get everything from a woman you do not love."

Since some time, I understand that sentence, as I life in such a relationship now. sad.gif

Edited by ALFREDO
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ALFREDO Platinum Member

ALFREDO

Posted
Posted (edited)

Absolutely if the girl you find has a good family that will make your life a whole lot easier and happier as the gf will be happier too.

BTW the Seat is Spanish not French... wink.png

David, should know that.

The Westerners know more, better educated, better general knowledge, no? tongue.png

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SEAT

Edited by ALFREDO
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