We just can't get along

[billd766]

Is the father-in-law about the same age as yours or is he older?

Supposedly you were about the same age as your father-in-law that could be a reason that he could not accept you are his daughter's husband.

I also think that your wife and her side of family are milking you. They are free loaders including your wife.

Statistically you are spot on.

I wanted to say this is a 9 in 10 situation but that's 90%. I think it's a tad higher than that.. that farangs get milked when married / involved with a thai.

No right or wrong, some people can simply afford it, others need it and others simply have no idea that's its even happening.

It is what it is.

Where did you get those statistics from? Do you have a link or reports from somewhere credible as my experience together with a lot of my friends over 20 is a lot different to most of the posters here includind that of the OP.

[ALFREDO]

Is the father-in-law about the same age as yours or is he older?

Supposedly you were about the same age as your father-in-law that could be a reason that he could not accept you are his daughter's husband.

I also think that your wife and her side of family are milking you. They are free loaders including your wife.

Seems you did not read the thread exactly.Somewhere it is written.

The OP, 29 years young, his GF, wife? 30, his FIL = the problem, in his 60'is.

[motlau]

Who says you need to get on with this man --he is not the problem, he is behaving normally towards a farrang ,the majority of Thai fathers care little for their daughters and not at all for their farrang husbands, your wife clearly doesn't give a toss about you other than the money you give her ,the relationship or should I say non existent relationship cannot be recovered --you are a 29 year old man living with a 30 year old single mother who treats you like sh"t get off your knees get a real life and a new relationship, walk away dont look back and don't believe the pleading that will follow when you surprise them all by acting like someone with pride and sense

When seeking the next one accept that any girl who is in the pocket of her family and barring a little help for mamma and papa, thinks you must support her brothers, uncles, and myriad idle wasters is to be avoided ,there are lots of nice girls around but picking them is not that easy ,even being alone is so much better than the present situation

Good luck you have time on your side this will have been a great learning curve for the future

[Halfie]

Op you have only two choices really. Buy a bigger house and deal with it or end your relationship. If your wife kicks her father out then she's considered a horrible daughter. You cannot expect or force any Thai to respect you. Drawing from my own experience I've heard that one future brother-in-law of mine threatened to divorce his wife if she couldn't accept his mother and sister living there. Mind you her sister had lived with them with no complaint from him. While another man was kicked out because his d-i-l didn't like it. You need to decide what's acceptable to you.

[belg]

is it really her father or her former husband and father of her boy ?

why you or other people keep buying alcohol for this drunk all the time, stop it, let him sober off and sod off if he realy does not contribute anything ?

[inzman]

OP is a doormat with a checkbook. Thai girls love these kind of Falang. He is spineless and won't change anything till he is flat broke. Then he will whine about being burned. Same old story different actors.

[Straight8]

OP is a doormat with a checkbook. Thai girls love these kind of Falang. He is spineless and won't change anything till he is flat broke. Then he will whine about being burned. Same old story different actors.

Agree, but this is most Farang/Thai relationship. What I mean by this is 100% contribution by the farang and a big fat zero by the Thai when it comes the money side of it. What's yours is yours and hers, but what is hers is her families and never will be your.

Having said that I acknowledge there are some thai females who make up for the caring/sharing/building a solid relationship in other ways [good mothers,cook, clean, proactive, help make the man a better man] since they can't match it financially but they're more rare than hens teeth.

I had a friend the other day call and needed a shoulder to cry on. His GF half his age, still at school with his funding, paying for everything and I mean everything and giving her an allowance. They had a big fight and she left. He was devastated. I said let me guess, you had a big fight over money. She wanted more and I was right.

My advice to him was to soul search and ask yourself just one important question. If the money well dried up tomorrow, would she stand by you and do everything in her power to support and love you even if you no longer have money? When you find out the truth to that question you will know all you need.

And that's just one of them.

[David48]

My two cents only:

1. Your FIL is an (deleted)

You have raised a conundrum for me.

I think of many ways to say that the FIL is a <deleted>.

But none for the FIL is an <deleted>

Can you expand my use of the English Language please?

Thanks ...

.

[rayongchelsea]

A...hole?

[Grindting]

Give him 4 weeks to get a job, after that, cut him off, if wife doesn't support, divorce is in order, she doesn't give 2 shits about you.

[Straight8]

Give him 4 weeks to get a job, after that, cut him off, if wife doesn't support, divorce is in order, she doesn't give 2 shits about you.

A 60 year old Thai who lives on whiskey and his unloved, non respected SIL kindness [and foolishness] get a job??

Cut him off. Bit too late for that. Once this type of activity is set in motion, it would be a massive loss of face for the wife, she will say "can not".

But as for your last part about the wife not giving a , well I disagree. She does, until at least the funds are flowing through. I mean there are two [maybe more] mouths to feed, clothed & some discretionary spending other than hers to not care.

Edited September 27, 2014 by Straight8

[Grindting]

Give him 4 weeks to get a job, after that, cut him off, if wife doesn't support, divorce is in order, she doesn't give 2 shits about you.

A 60 year old Thai who lives on whiskey and his unloved, non respected SIL kindness [and foolishness] get a job??

My dad is 62 and still works 45hrs a week and also like a dram. Ok he doesn't live on whiskey but that's because he has a house, wife and pension to finish paying for. No doubt he will continue to work at least part time after he's 65, and continue to enjoy a dram

The old man in the OP is a sack of useless shit, give the altimatum or walk. Let him do the gardening and tidy the house as a start to a job, laundry, anything.

My wife's father is 71 and as much as he wants to continue working no one will give him a job. My wife and sister in law give him 1500 baht each (in equivalent currently) for sundries (he does not drink), while he lives with the other sister in law. His job is family laundry, cleaning and tidying, prepping veg and meats before sister in law gets home, babysitting when sister in law is out. At all other times of the day or night he's on his bicycle visiting the mosque or friends or shopping for bits for the family.

Cut him off. Bit too late for that. Once this type of activity is set in motion, it would be a massive loss of face for the wife, she will say "can not".

But as for your last part about the wife not giving a , well I disagree. She does, until at least the funds are flowing through. I mean there are two [maybe more] mouths to feed, clothed & some discretionary spending other than hers to not care.

So if she does care about those things, but cares more about not 'losing face' (in front of who? The sack of useless shit father?.. ), then clearly she does not care Enough. She will say 'cannot' because she will test the OP. She will let him walk, to test if he's serious. When he does actually walk and it's clear he is not coming back, maybe she will reconsider? And actually implement? And then beg OP to come back due to the new changes to be worked on. If not, then she really does not give a shit about HIM (OP), she'll get back on the horse to go find another sap, and if that's the case, GOOD RIDDANCE FOR THE OP! He can be finally rid of yet another jar of thai leeches

[Straight8]

Give him 4 weeks to get a job, after that, cut him off, if wife doesn't support, divorce is in order, she doesn't give 2 shits about you.

A 60 year old Thai who lives on whiskey and his unloved, non respected SIL kindness [and foolishness] get a job??

My dad is 62 and still works 45hrs a week and also like a dram. Ok he doesn't live on whiskey but that's because he has a house, wife and pension to finish paying for. No doubt he will continue to work at least part time after he's 65, and continue to enjoy a dram

The old man in the OP is a sack of useless shit, give the altimatum or walk. Let him do the gardening and tidy the house as a start to a job, laundry, anything.

My wife's father is 71 and as much as he wants to continue working no one will give him a job. My wife and sister in law give him 1500 baht each (in equivalent currently) for sundries (he does not drink), while he lives with the other sister in law. His job is family laundry, cleaning and tidying, prepping veg and meats before sister in law gets home, babysitting when sister in law is out. At all other times of the day or night he's on his bicycle visiting the mosque or friends or shopping for bits for the family.

Cut him off. Bit too late for that. Once this type of activity is set in motion, it would be a massive loss of face for the wife, she will say "can not".

But as for your last part about the wife not giving a , well I disagree. She does, until at least the funds are flowing through. I mean there are two [maybe more] mouths to feed, clothed & some discretionary spending other than hers to not care.

So if she does care about those things, but cares more about not 'losing face' (in front of who? The sack of useless shit father?.. ), then clearly she does not care Enough. She will say 'cannot' because she will test the OP. She will let him walk, to test if he's serious. When he does actually walk and it's clear he is not coming back, maybe she will reconsider? And actually implement? And then beg OP to come back due to the new changes to be worked on. If not, then she really does not give a shit about HIM (OP), she'll get back on the horse to go find another sap, and if that's the case, GOOD RIDDANCE FOR THE OP! He can be finally rid of yet another jar of thai leeches

I hear you and agree with what you say 100%

Sadly, we are in the minority in situations like this.

When you see things like this with your own friends, and can't do a damn thing to help them, nothing like the OP's story ever surprises me, but iMO he life would be so much better if he took a hand full of advice against this situation he has found himself in.