I left my Lao wife and was told i could be surprised...

[surprise surprise]

Some of you may have read my previous thread which I found helpful in my decision to leave my wife of 6 years after she had decided to go gold digging:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/759214-my-lao-wife-of-6-years-has-decided-to-go-gold-digging/

I never thought things would develop as quickly as they did and here's the story:

10 days ago, I moved out from my wifes (and family) land, to some close Lao friends outside of Vientiane, the setting is much nicer, I'm surrounded by nature yet over 30 minutes from the city center which is ok as I'm not interested in hanging out in the bars or clubs with other expats (and my budget wouldn't allow it anyways).

When I moved I thought I was in for a long recovery, having to start over etc, I was depressed, but something most unexpected came up: I am about to become a father with a (very) young lady I've known for almost a year and gave moral support to at the time. How did this happen?

While in Europe this summer I've been exchanging messages and pictures with her as a way to respond to her desire to communicate. Upon my return in August, i deleted my account as my relationship with my wife was a priority. After a couple of weeks when I started realizing what my wife was up to, this young girl calls me out of the blue and tells me she is waiting for me nearby my village, which is a good 20 minutes outside the capital Vientiane.

I thought that was quite courageous on her part as I know she had to travel half a day from the sticks and risk not finding me. So I immediately decide to find where she is (I speak conversational Lao but getting directions on the phone can get a bit messy) and after a bit of searching I find her in a beer bar with her friend which she had brought along. There I understand she came specifically to find me and remembered approximately when I was due to return as well as the name of my village. After a few Beer Lao I decide to return home and think about what to do next.

I call her the next day only to find out that she had moved to another place (beer bar again...), a few miles away on a dirt road which I eventually found (I do happen to have learned many village names around Vientiane which made this possible). There I understand that she didn't want to work in the beer bar and had to move as she wouldn't provide any 'services', it was a way for her to overnight for free albeit one night at a time. I knew this wouldn't work out long and that I would loose patience quickly in driving around dirt roads looking for whatever next place she would find so I offered to take her home (and her friend) to her tiny village 3 hours from Vientiane, including 1 hour off the main road through mud and water with my small 2wd chinese car (this is just after it had rained 3 days straight for those of you living here).

We overnight upon arrival at the closest 'town' and sleep together before taking the road the next morning to her house where I meet the family: mother, father, grandparents, cousins etc... her friend lives in a shack and the family has just constructed a makeshift brickhouse with no toilets. It's really poor (although I'm used to it), the setting is beautiful with karst mountains and I decide to hit it the Lao way (I've done this many times) by ordering a couple of cases of beer which came warm but with Ice... We all had a good time, made a quick visit to the temple and upon night fall returned to the town and its guest house, 25km away on a terrible road. I clearly didn't want to stay in her home.

Next morning I refuse to shell out $20 for a 'taxi' ride home and drop her in front of the bus station with some pocket money instead. I drive back to my house where I am about to learn more about my wife's whereabouts...

Lucky or not, an older friend with 20 years in Laos calls me up a week later telling me his 21 yo son is in town, leaving in a few days and hasn't seen the deeper Laos... in a blink of an eye I offer to take them on a 2 day road trip and return to the girls village as it sits in a fantastic natural setting with a great Wat carved into a karst mountain. I have no second thoughts as I am now fully aware of my wife's night activity's and prefer to drive around than stay home in such a strange situation.

We leave the next morning, the drive is nice and fun, and arrive at the girls' house with local fish, chicken and fruit bought at the market... things get started very fast after another quick visit at the temple, beer is flowing, traditional music is pumping, food is brought and the Lao welcoming ceremony begins with dancing and knots being tied around our wrists, particularly mine and the young girl; about 30 people are present. (this is called Kouat in Lao, which is a welcome ceremony but could easily be mistaken for a fiance celebration, which I don't think it was)

Night falls and my friend's son was befriended by a beautiful 18 yo girl with whom he had been dancing most of the afternoon, we are told there is a guest house 10km away and decide to overnight there. The father of the 18 yo girl seems reticent to let her go with the young man but after some negotiating and 500 baht (!), off we go with his complete blessing leaving my older friend in the house as he prefers to stay there.

Another night of love ensues, we have Lao breakfast in the adjacent town and return to the village, gave our good byes and off we go on the second day of our road trip through rice fields and small villages, we visit an expat living in the sticks and before returning home make a stop on a peaceful piece of land by the river which I bought 6 months ago, probably the place where I will resettle once I find the energy to make it livable (just a wooden hut for now with no electricity or running water...)

The situation back home has become weirder, my absent wife threatens to call the police (we are not officially married which can lead to problems in Laos) so after a few days, I decide to leave even though the family in law is happy that I stay... but enough is enough, and the house is completely emptied, including electricity, doors and windows on a sunny sunday afternoon. Not an easy decision but I just couldn't stay any more.

I had gotten some good advice here on TV, much welcomed support via pm and my friends, yet I The big surprisefound myself alone in many ways, having lost both my wife of 6 years and the only house I'd ever built. I tried staying positive, my friends were supportive and one even said "you could very well be surprised"!

10 days pass, I am presented with Lao girls who come visit as the whole area knows there's an available Falang, but birds wearing Prada and constantly texting on their iphone 5S isn't my thing, so I just enjoy the company during those few Beer Lao afternoons...

The big surprise indeed didn't take long to come, I speak with the young girl to whom I had spoken about maybe learning some cooking skills at my friends house, she has a stomach ache and feels a bit dizzy so I ask her if she'd gotten her period... "I'm late" she says.... This is the Ahaa moment that changes everything...

I call her the next day to see how she feels and she says she is on her way to the hospital... no way she should get treated in the sticks so I tell her to take the bus and I will pick her up in the afternoon. A few hours later, there she is, the tiny 17 yo laotian standing under a tree on the side of the dusty road with a big smile on her face...

On the way home we make a stop at the pharmacy, I buy 2 pregnancy tests, we have dinner and go for an early sleep and some cajoling. The next morning she picks up a test and I secretly hope it will be positive... the 2 clear red marks on the strip are the answer I somehow felt I wanted as I never managed to get a woman pregnant in the past 10 years despite really trying, the young and fertile 17 year old perhaps was all that is needed for this strike of chance; i don't know for sure but here I am now, there are 3 of us confirmed by echography, she is 1 month pregnant and the dates match perfectly. This was 3 days ago.

It's a long story I know but I wanted to put down all the details, I feel uplifted by the news, I've started eating properly again (i lost 6kg in less than a month) and it looks like my life has taken a new turn although I have no clue how I will deal with this: 17 years old is quite young, I'm 44 and this might very well be a chance for fatherhood I won't get again: it's the main reason why I would keep the baby, along with the fact that she seems happy to keep it as well.

I'll leave it here for now and post more tomorrow about the implications of this pregnancy given I'm in Laos, that we're not married and the poor environment the girl comes from.

[Costas2008]

OP's 3rd post on TVF.

My 2nd Lao wife of 1 years has decided to go gold digging.

OP,always a pleasure to read your posts

[bkkcanuck8]

So you were upset with your wifes activities and you were straying on your own as well..... Next time you should just be honest and call it an "open relationship"

[mrdome]

Good luck to you and congrats to both of you May it turn out well.

While reading it, I kept thinking "I hope your friend's son didn't impregnate his date as well!" (no smiley, as I'm serious)

[mexxx]

this thread appeared on another thai discussion forum but it is a thai common law wife involved with a thai married man.

it has the same posting style & long & confusing.

the poster on the other forum also has a very low number of posts.

the other forum thread also attracts responses not unlike these 2 on TV.

this is a classic TROLL post.

[bkkcanuck8]

Just because he is a troll, doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.... Yes it will be a mixed marriage, and people will stare and laugh - but if they really love each other a Lao / Troll marriage should be able to succeed

[mrdome]

this thread appeared on another thai discussion forum but it is a thai common law wife involved with a thai married man.

it has the same posting style & long & confusing.

the poster on the other forum also has a very low number of posts.

the other forum thread also attracts responses not unlike these 2 on TV.

this is a classic TROLL post.

Hey, at least the responders aren't trolls!

... But seriously, the definition of an internet troll is someone trying to induce fighting online and get people all riled up, so this post doesn't qualify.

[danmarnj]

Thai lady looks for farang to take care her (and family).

Later determines that farang does not have the means to sufficiently upgrade lifestyle.

Thai lady on the prowl for a "step up"

[robertthebruce]

P

I can't wait for part two....

[bigjules007]

You have way to much time on your hands pal

[I Like Thai]

"I get along well with everyone and days go by peacefully. I'm 40 she is 26."

"17 years old is quite young, I'm 44 and this might very well be a chance for fatherhood I won't get again:"

Wow, you've aged 4 years between posting two topics.

[phuketrichard]

if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck

guess what?

its a duck

nice read thou

[Anthony5]

Just because he is a troll, doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.... Yes it will be a mixed marriage, and people will stare and laugh - but if they really love each other a Lao / Troll marriage should be able to succeed

Do you understand the meaning of a troll post ?

[MrWorldwide]

Is there any reason none of the figures quoted above were given in Lao Kip ? It's been a while since I last visited Vientiane, but even there it was up to individual merchants whether or not they would accept Thai baht - didnt see anyone giving change for USD but apparently the currency is accepted in VT. Must make for some very interesting 'on the spot' conversions - if Cambodia is any guide, those conversions will always be in favor of the retailer.

Edited October 3, 2014 by MrWorldwide

[bigjules007]

Just because he is a troll, doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings.... Yes it will be a mixed marriage, and people will stare and laugh - but if they really love each other a Lao / Troll marriage should be able to succeed

Do you understand the meaning of a troll post ?

LMAO

[AlexRRR]

44 year old kid...or troll........can people really be like him?

[mogo51]

Sounds like a load of rubbish - but if not, hes 44 and she 17, yep certainly true love. Come in spinner.

[Ace of Pop]

Dam good internet in Lao outback it seems.

[MobileContent]

Looks like the OP will sooner or later get burned once again.

[lovelaos]

Is there any reason none of the figures quoted above were given in Lao Kip ? It's been a while since I last visited Vientiane, but even there it was up to individual merchants whether or not they would accept Thai baht - didnt see anyone giving change for USD but apparently the currency is accepted in VT. Must make for some very interesting 'on the spot' conversions - if Cambodia is any guide, those conversions will always be in favor of the retailer.

EVERY merchant accepts THB, USD or LAK throughout the country for anything from a haircut to a new car. I get a consistent rate wherever I go with a little bit of banter thrown in.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Very inventive, looking forward to the next story.