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I want the change handed back to me.

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I got a sure fire solution to this problem.

Eat alone.

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because they are afraid of a confrontaion in case the recipient disagrees with the amount and complains in a language or accent that cannot understand. many thais are shy of contact ith farang and if a thai is handy, they will deal with them.

Costas:

For what it's worth, I got into a lively discussion with a group of neighbors (5-6 people) about this question of why a waitress would return the change to a Thai spouse when the foreigner paid the bill. I wanted to hear their explanations as well, as I too have experienced this treatment.

The two explanations I received were:

(1) that the waitress probably thought it would be easier to talk to the Thai person if there was a problem, or the waitress lacked self-confidence in their ability to communicate with foreigner.

(2) in the majority of Thai/Thai households(estimates varied from 70 to 80%), the wife manages the money, so many in the group felt it was appropriate to return the money to the wife.

Theories which were ruled out included:

(1) the thai wife was more likely to leave a tip;

(2) the waitress was scared of being accused by the Thai wife of flirting with the foreign husband.

The next time it happens in a restaurant, I am going to ask the waitress myself why she didn't hand the change directly back to me.

because they are afraid of a confrontaion in case the recipient disagrees with the amount and complains in a language or accent that cannot understand. many thais are shy of contact ith farang and if a thai is handy, they will deal with them.

Costas:

For what it's worth, I got into a lively discussion with a group of neighbors (5-6 people) about this question of why a waitress would return the change to a Thai spouse when the foreigner paid the bill. I wanted to hear their explanations as well, as I too have experienced this treatment.

The two explanations I received were:

(1) that the waitress probably thought it would be easier to talk to the Thai person if there was a problem, or the waitress lacked self-confidence in their ability to communicate with foreigner.

(2) in the majority of Thai/Thai households(estimates varied from 70 to 80%), the wife manages the money, so many in the group felt it was appropriate to return the money to the wife.

Theories which were ruled out included:

(1) the thai wife was more likely to leave a tip;

(2) the waitress was scared of being accused by the Thai wife of flirting with the foreign husband.

The next time it happens in a restaurant, I am going to ask the waitress myself why she didn't hand the change directly back to me.

and if #1 was correct, that should be effective!! lol

Costas, for what it's worth, it's exactly the same here in Cambodia.

As an aside, when I lived in TL, I could order food in Thai no problem. Same restaurant a few days later with a Thai partner in tow, I would order the same food from the same waitress and she would look at my partner bemused as she apparently didn't understand me that time?! For a quiet life I resorted to handing the cash to my partner to pay who usually checked the bill rather more diligently than I did. There was no point in me getting stressed about it.

That said, one man's meat.......

That has also happened to me. Freaks me out a bit. But, also when taking a taxi home and my wife tells the driver where to go and he looks at her with a blank expression, I tell her, "Tell him Ban Farang." She does and we go home because everybody remembers me but few people remember my wife (or any other Thai person).

I remember some Thai people

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