Gents,

I need your help, assistance and some forum love in what is potentially a very alarming situation.

I'm sure the situation that I am to find myself in is one that many of my fellow Thaivisa bredren will have experienced for themselves.

As of next Wednesday, the inlaws will be vacating upcountry Thailand (probably en-masse) and are headed to Pinkpanther Towers in Hua Hin.

I was hoping that torrential rain and flooding would keep them away but as the sun is now blazing once more, it looks like I'm down to my very last line of defence, which means it's just me, the dog and a frying pan.

Think of it as a kind of Farang/Thai version of the movie Zulu. I'm Michael Caine and the the inlaws are the natives, about to hurtle down Phetchkasem road, crammed in every possible nook and cranny of a Toyota pickup, inbetween gallons of nam blah, ant eggs and bamboo.

The dog looks worried. She's not sure we're gonna make it. But then she would be worried, she remembers the last time the inlaws came, 14 of them turned up. They have a bigger entourage than Beyonce Knowles. We only lived in a 2 bed house at the time. My living room resembled a war zone after about 20 minutes.

It's not that they're bad people and I don't mind them visiting. In fact, I much prefer them visiting me than me visiting them as I have posted about before. But I know that it wont just be mum and dad, it will be every other Tom, Dick and Harry they can pick up on the way.

I'll come home from work next Wednesday and my house will resemble some kind of drop in centre, you just watch. About 6 months ago we moved to a larger, two storey house in Hua Hin so we've got even more room to accomodate them and they know this, you bet they know this.

You're probably reading this and think I sound like a truly awful human being and it's not that I don't like my wifes family but we're just so different. I like my privacy and the comforts of my own home, a mans home is his castle etc, and I just don't feel comfortable when people I barley know come in and camp out in my living room. Surely some of you chaps must understand that?

I wouldn't dream of taking my side of the family to the inlaws home and taking over their house, not in a million years.

And before any of you comment...yes, I realise that you don't have these kinds of problems when you marry a Thai/Chinese high-so girl but unfortunately, I'm in the 0.1% of Thaivisa members who isn't with a high-so bird and married a girl from upcountry.

And before you ask.....no, she wasn't a bar girl...she isn't nearly attractive enough for that.

Brothers, how have you coped with similar situations? Is it about laying down ground rules from the get go? Or do I just sit back and admit defeat early doors?

Edited October 9, 201411 yr by pinkpanther99

Sorry to be of no help but when my inlaws come to town they bring goodies from home and help me drink through every real ale and craft beer available in the Kingdom....and some they bring with them. I'm really sad they can't come for Christmas this year

The joys of bringing your wife with you from your home country

Anyway, chin up old chap. That's the spirit, what!

Move, go on holiday, or run; preferably all three!

Keep the fridge empty of food & hide the bottles of booze.....buy at the local market daily and let them go out and find what they want......don't offer to take them out to eat.....they could be content to lay around the beach all day.....

Keep smiling and helpful - friendly.....don't play host - they'll help themselves - that's the Thai way....a "host" as we are use to would make them feel uncomfortable - just be part of the family.....try and make sure they have a good time - but not too good - some might not want leave....

They understand you about as much as you do them....let them visit the wife....family ties are strong.....she'll do the sharing.....

If anyone is questionable hide what you don't want to lose.....better talk to your wife now about what is OK and what isn't rather than in the middle of a "situation".....

Smile.....you are strange to them......even though they are in "your" house....it becomes "their" environment while they are there....

Edited October 9, 201411 yr by pgrahmm

This may be a testing time and like a first date the impression you leave will be lasting..

If you are too Generous with your cash it may be expected for the rest of eternity!

Don't worry too much though - In my experience I found the in-laws (and extended family) to be very respectful and not want for anything..

OP, do as I do, hide under your bed.

Eventually they will go...............

When I saw the title I thought this had to be another Costas thread - relieved that it isnt. Deal with your outlaws the same way everyone else does - alcohol. I got through countless Xmases in said fashion.

Maybe you discover that you have an urgent business meeting in, for example Hongkong......Unfortunately just when they wanted to visit you?

Hang these up all round your property....

If you live IN her village you have to develop immunity to people dropping by all day. Be thankful they will leave eventually.

Dig a trench, call in the armed forces by sending an SOS to the Thai Visa Liberation Army. Hold tight until we arrive with back up´s! .

Seriously word No is NO N-O many Thais do not understand that word be firm!

Myself, said no all the time, especially when it comes to money! and relatives staying. Had an offer of a brother and friend. Aye right! we were staying in mere room while between houses!

At the mo..yep I am 6 months staying at the in laws paying nothing more than bills and food for the parents in exchange for help with the baby.

Give em an inch they will take a mile, give them the hand the will take the whole arm!

Fake visa problems or what ever and..head off somewhere nice!

Reports are coming in that they have left already and are on thier way!

edit: They are already looking at the MK menu!

Edited October 9, 201411 yr by Satcommlee

Count yourself lucky - at least you got a weeks notice.

Normally i find out the day before but only if i spot the tell tale sign of my wife cleaning the bathroom herself.

Reports are coming in that they have left already and are on thier way!

overloaded_pick_up.jpg

edit: They are already looking at the MK menu!

Told you they were on their way. This is what it will be like!

Keep the fridge empty of food & hide the bottles of booze.....buy at the local market daily and let them go out and find what they want......don't offer to take them out to eat.....they could be content to lay around the beach all day.....

Keep smiling and helpful - friendly.....don't play host - they'll help themselves - that's the Thai way....a "host" as we are use to would make them feel uncomfortable - just be part of the family.....try and make sure they have a good time - but not too good - some might not want leave....

They understand you about as much as you do them....let them visit the wife....family ties are strong.....she'll do the sharing.....

If anyone is questionable hide what you don't want to lose.....better talk to your wife now about what is OK and what isn't rather than in the middle of a "situation".....

Smile.....you are strange to them......even though they are in "your" house....it becomes "their" environment while they are there....

Sound advice here, much appreciated.

Dig a trench, call in the armed forces by sending an SOS to the Thai Visa Liberation Army. Hold tight until we arrive with back up´s! .

Seriously word No is NO N-O many Thais do not understand that word be firm!

Myself, said no all the time, especially when it comes to money! and relatives staying. Had an offer of a brother and friend. Aye right! we were staying in mere room while between houses!

At the mo..yep I am 6 months staying at the in laws paying nothing more than bills and food for the parents in exchange for help with the baby.

Give em an inch they will take a mile, give them the hand the will take the whole arm!

Fake visa problems or what ever and..head off somewhere nice!

A smart solution might be to fake interest in a other female of the family....Than automatically the wife will block all family meetings

Better to live near family, never an invasion only mutual sharing.

Used my car yesterday, first time in weeks (back problem) and the seat had been moved. Asked wife, brother had borrowed it with her, to get my 90 day stamp.

I use his car too sometimes and father in law uses mine,wife's younger sister's or her older brother's.

Like it!

don't be such a puss. TIT you only wants to parts that suit you.

Count yourself lucky - at least you got a weeks notice.

Normally i find out the day before but only if i spot the tell tale sign of my wife cleaning the bathroom herself.

You need to train the wife better mate!

Dig a trench, call in the armed forces by sending an SOS to the Thai Visa Liberation Army. Hold tight until we arrive with back up´s! .

Seriously word No is NO N-O many Thais do not understand that word be firm!

Myself, said no all the time, especially when it comes to money! and relatives staying. Had an offer of a brother and friend. Aye right! we were staying in mere room while between houses!

At the mo..yep I am 6 months staying at the in laws paying nothing more than bills and food for the parents in exchange for help with the baby.

Give em an inch they will take a mile, give them the hand the will take the whole arm!

Fake visa problems or what ever and..head off somewhere nice!

A smart solution might be to fake interest in a other female of the family....Than automatically the wife will block all family meetings

Genius!

Count yourself lucky - at least you got a weeks notice.

Normally i find out the day before but only if i spot the tell tale sign of my wife cleaning the bathroom herself.

You need to train the wife better mate!

Tried that - suggested she didn't use a dirty rag to clean kitchen worktop so now she just uses her sweeping brush after doing the floor.

Edited October 9, 201411 yr by Orac

Hang these up all round your property....

ebola.jpg

But let translate them, otherwise they make no sense.

You could send 20000 bath along with a 52" LED TV, and a Karaoke set upcountry to prevent them from coming, but that will buy you only time.

I worship my wife's family, especially her Mum and Dad. Ok. it has taken me over a decade of misunderstandings to get to this point. But it has been worth every minute.

Move, go on holiday, or run; preferably all three!

You said it, you needed to have laid down the ground rules at the onset. However, no need to move, just get a hotel room. Come home from time to time to pay your respects, then go back to the hotel until they leave.

"Gotta walk the dog, honey...to Cambodia."

Edited October 9, 201411 yr by klauskunkel

I worship my wife's family, especially her Mum and Dad. Ok. it has taken me over a decade of misunderstandings to get to this point. But it has been worth every minute.

The decade of misunderstandings or worshipping ?

PP, I suggest you contact Soutpeel and ask him if you can lease Zuma for the weekend, that should scare them off quite nicely. If all else fails, then you could hangout with Silomplaya in Cambodia for the week

give me thine address in Hua Hin, for me to go see the arrival of the family "enlarged"

next time, rents a small studio instead of your storey house.

A prayer to Buddha.

I worship my wife's family, especially her Mum and Dad. Ok. it has taken me over a decade of misunderstandings to get to this point. But it has been worth every minute.

The decade of misunderstandings or worshipping ?

5 years of misunderstanding, followed by 5 years of worship. Suddenly the "switch" happened. Hard to explain.