Some you lose, some they win

Sometimes the person you would take the bullet for, is the person behind the trigger.

"Better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

He's as much use as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.

Not a saying but such a witty response-

Peter Cook to Dudley Moore, a one legged Tarzan applicant:

" I have nothing against your right leg, it's a fine speciman..., only neither do you"

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/my-dear-you-are-ugly-but-tomorrow-i-shall-be-sober-and-you-will-still-be-ugly-winston-churchill-tops-poll-of-historys-funniest-insults-8878622.html

I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar wilde

"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing" ....Oscar Wilde

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power" -- Abraham Lincoln

"If all else fails.......read the instructions."

"Yes Honey - I dumb farang"

"You may think you're everybody but you're only a few, because I'm some of them"

Khon nai yak oc, khon norc yak kow.

You're better to fart and stink a little,

Than bust your guts and be a cripple.

Don't worry about walking a mile in my shoes, just try a day thinking in my head.

My favorite

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up'

Kid mak bot hua - Think too much you will get a head ache (Thai obviously)

If you believe you can, or if you believe you can't you're right.

Man can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell in his mind (paraphrasing John Milton)

Spoke with my elderly father today sounding out a problem. Fixed the problem but low marks on empathy. He was never a a big fan of Dr Benjamin Spock and child reared on the Julius Ceasar model of "let them hate as long as they fear". Always saw his job as a father first not a friend and I will be eternally grateful for this.

Two quotes of note from our conversation.

"if you want sympathy in this world it's between shit and syphillis in the dictionary"

And.....next time I have a similar issue I am to " pick up the phone, dial 9, and ask for the padre"

You can see why he missed his calling on the suicide phone hot line.

Love the man...

Re beer.... one is too many.... a thousand isn't enough.

Dont <deleted> around, buy a round!