What happens legally when I marry the GF ?

[mbbnyc]

So we've been dating long distance for about two years now. I live in Los Angeles/New York she's in BKK. She's for sure giving that look, dropping hints on rings, etc. I do intend to do so as I do fully love her. The plan is for me to finish some things here work wise. I also have a sick and elderly mum in New York. I have to attend to her from time to time.

The current plan is, I spend February & August in Thailand with two smaller additional trips during the year. in 3 years at 50 I get the old retirement visa and live in Thailand full time. I have put away a little bit and won't have a problem meeting the 800k Baht requirement. I'll have a modest pension. Plus other income. Plus, I am an only child when mom & dad are gone what they have will become mine. I won't be Rockefeller but I will be ok. I will get bored eventually and want and need to work. So the visa will change and such. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

She is working class. She works, has her own money. Does not take mine, refuses when I offer (I always send some anyway) It sits in a bank account she tells me it's mine. She has a 7 yr old girl so emergencies happen. That money is always there in case. Plus there is always the occasional "Thai drama"...lol

Now as I said before, I do love her and she is a good egg as we would say back on the east coast. However being married twice before, I know the reality is things don't always work out.

There could be a time when I have decent sized assets that I would like to protect. Not that I think I will need it. But, history has shown me that it is sometimes a good thing to have.

So, My questions are. Are there pre-nups in Thailand ? How are they looked upon ? If I went without and things did not work out. What would she be entitled too ? in California it's half !! and thats sometimes for starters. Would she only be entitled to assets in Thailand or my American assets as well ? There is some property that I would use as a rental while i am gone. Would she be entitled to that ?

Or should I just put a small nest egg in a Swiss bank account and hope for the best ?

Any advice (except for snarky or rudely sarcastic)(well maybe the sarcastic if it's funny) will be appreciated

Thanks in advance

[Aussieroaming]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

[mbbnyc]

So because I am taking steps to protect myself IN CASE it does not work out means I don't love her ??

Things don't always work the way you plan, I have no doubt of my feelings. I am simply trying to understand the laws in Thailand

[georgemandm]

Hi I can't tell you what to do but this what I have done I have a thai gf And have been with her for 6 years I am like you been married 2 times before back home in Australia and have lost 2 home very good homes to my ex wife's and said will never every get married again and I feel great now I am not married I have free dome I can walk away from my thai when I like and she can do the same as me we have the village marriage and that is good for me she has ask me to get it done by paper and I said no I like it like this and she is now ok with it you see thai woman are like woman back home no if it dose not work out she can go you and if you die she will go for it all I like my thai and love her a little not to much because I don't want to get hit again if it dose not work out . So can she go you yes she can and if I were you just stay like you are and be happy you know if it dose not work out you can walk away and I can tell you mate thai woman are like mango trees if you don't like the mango you have go to the mango tree and get a new one all the best .

[mbbnyc]

Thanks, I don't have a problem getting married again and honestly. I don't think I would need this with this girl. But, I have had it not work out twice before. I just want to protect what I have.

That's not to say if I married then divorced this girl I would give her nothing. I just want to know the law so we keep it fair. I would not want to give half my stuff to someone I was married to for only two years. Again IF that happened.

[georgemandm]

Thanks, I don't have a problem getting married again and honestly. I don't think I would need this with this girl. But, I have had it not work out twice before. I just want to protect what I have.

That's not to say if I married then divorced this girl I would give her nothing. I just want to know the law so we keep it fair. I would not want to give half my stuff to someone I was married to for only two years. Again IF that happened.

ok up to you like a thai would say but all thai lady are the best at making you feel great and you think you can trust them and the next thing you have no money and the girl has gone I have seen it here to meany times here before and I feel for the man that come here and test there Thais to much

[thehelmsman]

Gee...you do "fully love her" and then you post this. How about you fully let her read your post and see whether she fully loves you afterwards.

The guys who post like this are generally the ones with little in the way of assets.

[ballbreaker]

Generally speaking what is each persons before marriage remains theirs in case of divorce. Anything acquired during marriage you can fight over in court if divorce.

I suggest you Google .... thailawonline

Checkout the civil code for families and you will find your answer according to Thai law.

Keep in mind marriage can change current situation you have with lady. As BF you may not be asked for financial help to aid family but as husband you might be expected to provide that help.

[BKKdreaming]

I believe California is half of the assets earned AFTER you are married become hers , not the assets you bring into the marriage ,

add to that what her lawyer can convince the Judge she needs for support etc and then child support......if you are in a Californian court

Always good to have a back-up plan but don't let the exit plan spoil it before you start !

[MAZ3]

Before I married here,I had a pre-nup drawn up in the UK. Translated and then Certified at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Then witnessed and stamped by a proper Notary Public,in Thai and English. When we divorced in the UK, she only got the amount agreed etc. She kept the Bungalow etc we built here,no chance of fighting that here.

But I kept my UK house and pension rights,you have to protect yourself.

My ex set me up from the start,land I brought for the bungalow put in her Sisters name and so as the Bungalow was completed and she got her British passport,that was it!.

Good luck just be careful(I've been in a good relationship for 3 years now,but no legal marriage)

[Gecko123]

First comes the engagement ring.

Next comes the wedding ring.

Then comes the suffer-ring.

[TheFishman1]

Talk to a Expert lawyer who can help you keep all your assets there is ways to put things in like Cook Island and only you can get them the regulation there are kinda untouchable even from American who would sue you very well protected you need to see an expert to protect your money just my two cents

[Gonsalviz]

I can only read so far into these things before I get fed up with the opinions. I did not read all for that reason.

But I will tell you that whatever you, as a couple, acquire will be split 50/50. What you had before is yours and what she had before will be hers. Make sure you keep paperwork stright in this matter, in case things don't work out.

[dieter1]

where to start ..?

first: there should be a good reason for marrying ! What is the (very good) reason?

you are planing to live in Thailand soon , for doing this, no need to marry..

in general: There are good reason for her to marry you and nearly zero reasons for you!

in general: In Thailand everything you two will get after marrying will be splitted after divorce.

Important:

Also the rising value of houses(land) etc . will be splitted. (it is not like: what you own befor will be yours!!!!).

If you will pay for a house/land in Thailand, it will be in your wifes name and YOU will have to confirm, that she pays it with her own money! Good luck with getting 50% of the house value after divorce!

I also think, if you inherit something while being married, it will also be splitted after divorce (not shure about that. So please, ask a lawyer!)'

Your assets abroad? In depends a lot on her willing to go to court in your home country (no need for her to go there personaly!) after divorce!) Ofcourse she can do it. No need for her to be a citizen of your home country for doing this!

What happends after divorce: in general it depends on the laws in Your home country AND Thai laws!

in general: it is important where you live the years before divorce!

In general: it is not important, where the assets are(Us,Cook Islands ...)

More important: does she knows about it? Why getting married, when you are planing to cheat allready?

No need to marry at all!

So all in all: complicate affair! Better have a good lawyer (when he will not suggest not to marry, he is not good!)

the decision to marry should be seen as a pure rational thing, it is a private contract between 2 people.

Today, you can live (have sex,quarrels,have dinner, sleep in the same house etc)together without the need of a document stating that you are maried. It is not seen a unmoral today. Most thais speak of their partner as "wife" and "husband",when they do not have this document (many (most ?) are not having this paper (many Thais live together as man and wife without registration of marriage! totally normal!) .

The official version of marriage is called: "Registration of marriage" - You get the idea? Is there a need for you to get your marriage registrated in a official register? If not, I would advice not to do it. You can have a marriage without this (blessing from monks, big party etc.)

yes, you can have prenuptical aggreements in Thailand: They must be fair (!) and not just in favour of one party (!)Also in Thailand, both sides can go to court (after divorce) to let them check this! I cant imagine, that an aggreement would be seen as fair deal, if one side is exclude from the gains within marriage ....

I see , you had a "long distance" relation. No need to rush! Come over and start having a "real" relation with this woman, without marrying at once!. It is not something Unmoral! This is no rigid christian society! (not even a need to live together from the beginning).

Edited October 19, 2014 by dieter1

[eddie61]

in general what happens when you marry is that you get to f..k for free and she gets all your money

[bkk_mike]

As you're planning to live in Thailand, the default in Thai law is:

What you each own before marriage (house etc.) belongs to whoever owned it originally.

What you buy during marriage should be split 50:50, although, as foreigners can't own land in Thailand (as a general rule), that can be problematic if you buy a house here.

(I don't know what happens with inheritances - if it's going to be significant, you should seek a lawyer and may need to get a pre-nup detailing what should happen with it).

There is no such thing as alimony - but there is child support - so if you split and have no kids - there is no paying out for years (what killed Robin Williams).

There is child support

If you go and live in the US, then, of course, US law would apply regarding the divorce...

One thing - you would be able to get a visa to live here as a spouse despite not being 50, and you need to keep less money in the bank. (Presumably because you'll be part of a family support network here).

[bangkapi]

When there is a little drama, there can always be a lot. It can come seemingly out of nowhere. And for your freedom you won't miss your assets.. You will cut off a body part to get the hell out.

You can and should live with her for a trial period to see if marriage is in the cards.

Once you do it, she can and likely will turn on a dime at some point to make your life a living hell.

[xenophon]

you're sterfed

[paddyjoe41]

Most of the posts here are true,my opinion for your upcoming plans are< take heed> of what has been told to you here.I f you do not I can almost certainly say you will have made the biggest mistake of your life,what you have told us here is a repeat story for so many people who like yourself put great faith in what you have been led to believe.These people here are generally very nice people,but, when it comes to making a man the best thing since sliced bread,then, they are really the greatest make believe people on this earth.(99%) of all that is said and done here in Thailand between man and woman is Money motivated only.That said it does not mean that it ends that way,all depends how determind the man is,the real answer to this really is time spent here unattached,like some of the posts suggested,you dont need to marry,only the woman feels that need.So cutting it short,best spend 1 or 2 years here without the monk,just the normal boy girl thing,and i am convinced by that time you will be glad that you asked the questions and read the answers,all of them.I wish you well,so good thinking for the future.

[choochoo]

i smell disaster..................lol.

[gyrosman]

You want to know about pre-Nums, hide money overseas. You said you have some money. let me tell you junior, unless you have the tune of 1.6 million Baht to spend ( When in Love) is something you can't spend here, save your money and date at home and take care of your mother which seems your counting the days for her to leave the planet to join your working girl in Thailand you 2 months a year. if she has money, let her pay her own way to you.

[choochoo]

Long distance...............hahahaha! why dont you get here full time and then see whats up. BKK aint no Kansas baby!

This THAI drama op refers to is no laughing matter........................lol.

Edited October 20, 2014 by choochoo

[mbbnyc]

Ok Thanks for the advice, Thanks for the comments. Those of you who were rude Go &lt;deleted&gt;*k yourselves. (mainly you Gyrosman)

I am all good guys. I have what I need

Thanks

[BadBouy]

You cannot retire for 3 more years. She has a business to run and probably does not want to uproot her daughter and come to the US. What is the hurry? You have been dating long distance for 2 years so it seems you have not actually lived with her for any length of time, you never really know someone until you have been around them on a day to day basis for quite a while. I am not questioning your or her sincerity but I would not be pushed into marriage over someones time limit. Sure give her a ring, and maybe in a year or 2 have a ceremony but do not register it until you have retired to Thailand for a couple years. 2 years is a long term relationship, 2 years long distance is a bit different. I wish you luck in what ever you decide.

[smotherb]

Your property, pensions, and investments are an appreciating asset; while her beguiling charms and lovely exterior are depreciating assets. Since she already has a seven year old, no doubt, they have somewhat depreciated already. The break-even point in your relationship may have passed. It's far too easy to simply live together, until you really get to know her; then, make your decision. Even after a time, you can still do the village nuptials, and leave your marriage decision for long-term consideration.

[Toscano]

You appear to be thinking of a retirement visa ; that is certainly the one to go for , that gives you the freedom to come and go when you like and live wherever you want .

I feel you are jumping the gun thinking of marriage and if you have fears of loosing your all , don't bring it to Thailand , only bt800,000 for your visa and pension money to live on . Only shared assets of a marriage count in a divorce , divided in half ; however apart from personal items you are unlikely to get half , so don't invest in what you cannot refuse . Don't fall for a massive dowry of gold and money as marriage terms . Your gf was presumably married before to the father of the girl , so it is not like taking a young virgin from home .

You haven't really lived in Thailand , don't know what life is really like and don't really know you girlfriend that well .

If you are an educated professional man and your gf is working class , you are never going to have much in common beyond the man and woman companionship and physical relationship .

Thailand has its own culture , that doesn't in anyway relate to western culture , even if you speak Thai or she good English , you will not have much to talk about .

My wife is university educated , headteacher of a school , but she knows little or nothing of the outside world or western culture . We have been together nearly eleven years and do love each other and have a warm relationship , but I do most of the looking after and sometimes feel like a walking ATM . Thailand is exotic to visit and the women so pretty to look at . Bargirls are very sexy because the learn what western men like and earn good money by it . My impression is that Thai women are not very passionate in the western sense . Thais don't kiss or touch each other , they may do that to please a western man to begin with , but may revert to Thai custom as time goes on .

My advice , don't feel pressured into marriage , if you are not yet 50yrs , you shouldn't do anything concrete until you are . Don't rush into marriage , better to stay single , independent and live together . If you are bored or things don't work out , you can just walk away with no problems .

[Liquorice]

OP, Having been married twice before I can understand your concerns.

Like others here, I would advise you don't rush into marriage. Time is on your side, spend at least 2 years living together, to find out the real woman and to learn more about their culture. Most Asian Countries are totally different to the likes of the USA and the UK, in so far as there are no fall back systems if you hit a bad patch.

Most women want security in their life. Most Thai's will get a 700 baht a month pension in their old age, hence why family bonds are so strong here, they have to look out for one another. When you marry, you will become part of taking care of the larger family as well.

If you can't accept the culture or their way of life, then you shouldn't live in an Asian Country.

To protect your own interests, I'd advise you only tell your GF/Wife about any assets on a need to know basis.

Provided you have a sufficient monthly income to take care of them, that should suffice. If their pushy and ask questions, then you should be seeing 'red flags' about the relationship.

Later if your content with your life and your wife, make a 'will' both in your home state and in Thailand detailing what assets go to who.

Just use common sense and go with your instincts, not your heart.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Faz

[Chai67]

Thai family law is much less blood sucking than in the States. A California attorney can easily prove your future ex (no matter what country of residence) is unable to pay for attorney's fees to have you be stuck with all their bills. Treat the pre-nup like you would stateside. If you plan to be a responsible parent, get as much custody or visitation rights you both can agree upon beforehand. Thai women rely on their kids for retirement income and most will fight hard for this legacy if not reject the entire notion.

[HughJass]

its all about the money

[abrahamzvi]

Thanks, I don't have a problem getting married again and honestly. I don't think I would need this with this girl. But, I have had it not work out twice before. I just want to protect what I have.

That's not to say if I married then divorced this girl I would give her nothing. I just want to know the law so we keep it fair. I would not want to give half my stuff to someone I was married to for only two years. Again IF that happened.

ok up to you like a thai would say but all thai lady are the best at making you feel great and you think you can trust them and the next thing you have no money and the girl has gone I have seen it here to meany times here before and I feel for the man that come here and test there Thais to much

You and your friends must have been very unlucky, or excuse me saying this, very stupid. I have been married to a Thai lady for over 25 years and I know few other foreigners here and back home who have been married for a long time and we all think very highly of our wives. Of course, there are Thai ladies, who act like the ones you refer to, but having been married many years ago to a German lady, I can tell you she did take me to town! There are ladies of this nature anywhere. One has to be lucky and, of course keep ones eyes open!