A Fact of Life.

[Costas2008]

I know this is a delicate matter, although it can be loud and gross sometimes.

But it is a fact of life.

We discussed about laughing

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/769140-to-be-read-only-by-serious-tvf-members/

Crying

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/769436-a-little-tear-in-my-eyes/

And now let’s discuss about farting.

Why do we fart? Why do farts smell? Passing gas may be embarrassing for most of us, but it might make you feel better to know that it's one of the most common bodily functions of all time. Everyone does it, from Halle Berry to the Queen of England. In fact, the word "fart" is one of the oldest words in the English language.

What Is A Fart, Exactly?

Farts are caused by trapped air, which can come from many sources. Some of it is air that we have swallowed while chewing or drinking. Some air is caused by gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts.

A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulphide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulphur, and the sulphur is what makes farts stink.

Farts make a sound when they escape due to the vibrations of the rectum. The loudness may vary depending on how much pressure is behind the gas, as well as the tightness of the sphincter muscles.

Why Do Farts Smell Bad?

The more sulphur-rich your diet is, the more terrible your farts will smell. Some foods contain more sulphur than others, which is why eating things like beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs can cause gas that will peel the paint off the walls!

People Pass Gas About 14 Times Per Day

The average person produces about half a litre of farts every single day, and even though many women won't admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men.

If a person were to fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, they would produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.

Farts Have Been Clocked At A Speed Of 10 Feet Per Second.

Though farts come out with varying velocities, we don't typically smell them for about 10-15 seconds after letting them rip. This is because it takes that long for the odour to reach your nostrils.

Holding Farts In Could Be Bad For Your Health

Doctors disagree on whether or not holding in a fart is bad for your health. Some experts think that farts are a natural part of your digestive system, so holding them in won't harm you. Others think that at best, holding them in can cause gas, bloating, and other uncomfortable symptoms, and at worst, repressing gas can cause haemorrhoids or a distended bowel.

For Some Cultures, Farting Is No Big Deal

While most cultures feel that farts should be suppressed in polite company, there are some cultures that not only don't mind letting them fly in public, but they actually enjoy it. An Indian tribe in South America called the Yanomami fart as a greeting, and in China you can actually get a job as a professional fart-smeller!

In ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius, fearing that holding farts in was bad for the health, passed a law stating that it was acceptable to break wind at banquets.

Farts Are Flammable

As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it's a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous.

In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines has caused explosions during intestinal surgeries!

Termites Produce The Most Farts Of Any Other Animal

It's hard to believe that the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem on the planet. Termites fart more than any other animal, which produces methane gas. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, "Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to be between 2 and 22 Tg per year, making them the second largest natural source of methane emissions. Methane is produced in termites as part of their normal digestive process, and the amount generated varies among different species."

If You Hold Them In, They'll Just Come Out When You Sleep

Even if you clenched your butt and held them in all day, the gas will escape once you relax. What's more relaxing than sleep?

People Even Fart After Death

Here's proof that you can't escape passing wind, even after you're dead! Up to three hours after the body dies, gasses continue to escape from both ends of the digestive tract, resulting in burping or farting noises. This phenomenon is due to muscles contracting and expanding before rigor mortis sets in.

I think, I educated you enough, as I have educated myself also, reading and copying all these facts from the internet.

Amazing what you can find in there.

Now go forth and stink your rooms out, after all its natural behaviour.

[pgrahmm]

Breathless interpretation inspiration?

Always blame the dog......the Kokoni did it.......!

[StreetCowboy]

Normally I would worry this might be in poor taste...

[Crazy chef 1]

you must have time...

what next?what can you do with your right hand???

no offence intended Greek fellow.

[thehelmsman]

Mine smell like roses, What would that indicate???

[mrtoad]

you must have time...

what next?what can you do with your right hand???

no offence intended Greek fellow.

Oh god, that will get him on to milking or masterbating?

[StreetCowboy]

Mine smell like roses, What would that indicate???

Children are like farts. People don't find their own objectionable.

[transam]

Not that I was looking for a statistic but I read that us humans on average fart 40 times a day as a natural occurrence, seeing as I rarely fart during the day I think Mrs.Trans has to deal with a nightly problem... ................

[mrtoad]

Who smelt it dealt it.

[Costas2008]

you must have time...

what next?what can you do with your right hand???

no offence intended Greek fellow.

Aaaaaaall the time in the world, Crazy chef 1,

That's a privilege you get when you retire.

The other privilege is to afford to get a young wife, so you can let your right hand wander around while the left hand gets the Viagra from the bed side table.

I know, I have a hard task to perform.......but copping all right up to now

[Crazy chef 1]

you must have time...

what next?what can you do with your right hand???

no offence intended Greek fellow.

Aaaaaaall the time in the world, Crazy chef 1,

That's a privilege you get when you retire.

The other privilege is to afford to get a young wife, so you can let your right hand wander around while the left hand gets the Viagra from the bed side table.

I know, I have a hard task to perform.......but copping all right up to now

dam'n,i have to admit i am jealous-still another 20 years to go and me thinks i would do the same.just let's hope TV still exists in 20 years....

btw any progress wit your recently acquired smart phone?

[mrtoad]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

[Costas2008]

Mine smell like roses, What would that indicate???

That your sense of smell has gone.

See a doctor ASAP, you never know what can go next.........

[smokie36]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

Whats an "app" and where can I get a good one?

As to farting well.....I prefer the loud long let it rip variety.

Its those quick silent killers you want to run from.....usually present in a lift or any room with inadequate ventilation.

Important business meetings are a good spot as well.....especially on Friday afternoons.

[Costas2008]

you must have time...

what next?what can you do with your right hand???

no offence intended Greek fellow.

Aaaaaaall the time in the world, Crazy chef 1,

That's a privilege you get when you retire.

The other privilege is to afford to get a young wife, so you can let your right hand wander around while the left hand gets the Viagra from the bed side table.

I know, I have a hard task to perform.......but copping all right up to now

dam'n,i have to admit i am jealous-still another 20 years to go and me thinks i would do the same.just let's hope TV still exists in 20 years....

btw any progress wit your recently acquired smart phone?

Ahhhhh, latest update,

Don't know how to put my contacts in the bloody thing.

It Bloody wakes me up in the night when I get an Email

I asked for the map of Thailand and it gave me the map of Germany

Still not used how to answer the bloody thing, don't remember if I have to swipe up or down.

When I take selfies they show me as an ugly man...........but my wife insists I am the most hansum man in the world.

Useless phone............

[Costas2008]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

You leave my, Gayllips, alone.

He is my favourite member, so sensitive, so loving, so misunderstood.

Ahhhhh, why couldn't It be me instead of J?

[mrtoad]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

You leave my, Gayllips, alone.

He is my favourite member, so sensitive, so loving, so misunderstood.

Ahhhhh, why couldn't It be me instead of J?

Drop him a PM, Gayllips seems to live his little "J"

[Costas2008]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

You leave my, Gayllips, alone.

He is my favourite member, so sensitive, so loving, so misunderstood.

Ahhhhh, why couldn't It be me instead of J?

Drop him a PM, Gayllips seems to live his little "J"

Latest update on TVF.

Greek farang kills J out of jealoucy.

Police, lieutenant, major, general Somtsai Papadam was urgently called to investigate the killing of J.

When he rushed at the scene of the crime he found J, hanging from his balls.

Near by, he found Gayllips and the Greek engaged in a tight embracement.

Upon interrogating them, and after a little persuasion and a small amount of hot water thrown on their heads they both signed a confection of killing J.

When asked by the press, they both admitted their eternal love and devotion.

No J, K, or L will ever stand on our way, they said.

The Greek will appear in court next week, while released on bail to enjoy life with his beloved, Gayllips.

[Crazy chef 1]

CC I believe Costas smart phone has A Grinder App, so he's in close contact with Gayllips and his posse

You leave my, Gayllips, alone.

He is my favourite member, so sensitive, so loving, so misunderstood.

Ahhhhh, why couldn't It be me instead of J?

Drop him a PM, Gayllips seems to live his little "J"

Latest update on TVF.

Greek farang kills J out of jealoucy.

Police, lieutenant, major, general Somtsai Papadam was urgently called to investigate the killing of J.

When he rushed at the scene of the crime he found J, hanging from his balls.

Near by, he found Gayllips and the Greek engaged in a tight embracement.

Upon interrogating them, and after a little persuasion and a small amount of hot water thrown on their heads they both signed a confection of killing J.

When asked by the press, they both admitted their eternal love and devotion.

No J, K, or L will ever stand on our way, they said.

The Greek will appear in court next week, while released on bail to enjoy life with his beloved, Gayllips.

buddy- you are a funny dude!

[Costas2008]

This is it.

This is the last time I'm posting a thread..............for half an hour...........

I did all that copying and pasting from the internet and what is the result?

Nobody is interested looking at my thread.

That's done it.......................