My Thai wife just had a meltdown

[AnotherOneAmerican]

This does not surprise me at all. When I had a TGF it was story after story after story, no idea as to the veracity of these claims, Thais seem to live in a fantasy world of lies and deceit. Some of the issues my TGF had:

She had a business providing fresh produce to supermarkets like Carrefor with a few truck drivers. They stole her money or goods and there were huge losses associated with this.

She had written a cheque for a large sum of money and it bounced and in Thailand that is tantamount to theft, the police were after her and she even spent a few weeks in jail. I was out of the country at this time.

She was constantly getting sued or being asked of money from past associates.

She was an educated person with a degree in Science and also worked in marketing then she said she went back to school and became a lawyer and did that for a while and seemed to be doing well. Then the floods hit said she got "scared" of the floods and headed to Ubon to sell "Sai Grok Uwa" Thai sausages working 7 days a week from "Lawer to Mae Ka" I said why, this does not make sense.

Her friend hired a car, then her friends relative took it and didn't return it "Get money", now problem.

Her brothers son and his wife want to start a fresh fruit juice stand at the market need 20k will pay you back that was 8 years ago

On valentines day at midnight she had to leave to "See someone at Kao Tom stand with a problem" and didnt return for 3 days sucker here waited for her to return

Get the picture? you are going through nothing new better to be alone and sane. Thailand is not the place for a middle aged foreign man to "Find Love" - Of course there are plenty of other useful things you can do but finding a suitable partner seems to be almost impossible.

I am so glad to be out of it, yes lonely but what sort of life is the above? You gotta be bloody mad to say the above is "A life" - Good luck and listen to logic.

It actually sounds like fun,

bit worried now as I just lent my gf 3kbht to start a som tam stall.

I'll be awake every night worrying about her paying me back.

[Strangebrew]

simple solution buy a safe open an account in her name only and one in your name only then a house account to pay bills with put X amount in hers each month and same in yours each month the house account you both balance and check together each month if she asks for extra tell to get from her account. Just say you understand she needs her own money and leave it at that. But after doing that and money comes up missing and unaccounted for kick her to the curb. In house account only put what is needed in it to cover household bills.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Many Thai women are like that and considered wonderful females to have known their acquaintance ...but .......for some reason a notable percent of them do not remain that way after they get married and the years go by.

I have personally known several men who married Thai women just because they were excited, "enthralled" because their Thai women was such a sweetheart and worthy of being married too.

Several years later and after 1 or 2 children the marriage turned into the "wife from hell"...surprise, surprise...while the guy himself, by way of all and or any standards would be considered to be a great guy and not a lout or sleaze ball in any way...rather a right stand up guy, so to speak....but the wife went all mental and destroyed a perfectly good marriage.

Too many of them are like ticking time bombs...and you never know until you are right there in the thick of things.

Just saying....not criticising

Good post.....to know the....why they go mental....would be interesting.

It's because everything about them was a lie from the start.

They just can't keep the lie going for more than a few years.

[benalibina]

This does not surprise me at all. When I had a TGF it was story after story after story, no idea as to the veracity of these claims, Thais seem to live in a fantasy world of lies and deceit. Some of the issues my TGF had:

She had a business providing fresh produce to supermarkets like Carrefor with a few truck drivers. They stole her money or goods and there were huge losses associated with this.

She had written a cheque for a large sum of money and it bounced and in Thailand that is tantamount to theft, the police were after her and she even spent a few weeks in jail. I was out of the country at this time.

She was constantly getting sued or being asked of money from past associates.

She was an educated person with a degree in Science and also worked in marketing then she said she went back to school and became a lawyer and did that for a while and seemed to be doing well. Then the floods hit said she got "scared" of the floods and headed to Ubon to sell "Sai Grok Uwa" Thai sausages working 7 days a week from "Lawer to Mae Ka" I said why, this does not make sense.

Her friend hired a car, then her friends relative took it and didn't return it "Get money", now problem.

Her brothers son and his wife want to start a fresh fruit juice stand at the market need 20k will pay you back that was 8 years ago

On valentines day at midnight she had to leave to "See someone at Kao Tom stand with a problem" and didnt return for 3 days sucker here waited for her to return

Get the picture? you are going through nothing new better to be alone and sane. Thailand is not the place for a middle aged foreign man to "Find Love" - Of course there are plenty of other useful things you can do but finding a suitable partner seems to be almost impossible.

I am so glad to be out of it, yes lonely but what sort of life is the above? You gotta be bloody mad to say the above is "A life" - Good luck and listen to logic.

It actually sounds like fun,

bit worried now as I just lent my gf 3kbht to start a som tam stall.

I'll be awake every night worrying about her paying me back.

Ohhhh....extended arms or shorter pockets ?

[Jungle Jim]

Guess what ? I don,t drink. No its a note maybe for you?

Mistake (1) Marrying a bar girl girl or massage girl. (2) Marrying a Thai woman that speaks bar English. Guess what likely worked in a bar. (HOOKER) (3) Drinking non-stop alcoholism . How many foreign drunks marry a bar girl ? Likely 99.99999 % Dead brain . Who would marry an alcoholic ? Answer a bar girl. (4) Not learning to speak Thai. Really stupid idea. You plan to spend most of your holidays and or your life here and can,t even count to five. Shows a serious lack of common sense and or your a drunk. Foreigner has a big red flashing light on his head. (TOTAL DRUNK BRAIN DEAD SUCKER) Free car, home, and all the money you want. If your stupid enough to marry a bar girl, drink your life away and not learn Thai you deserve what you get. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS !

All those capital letters......a note to self ?

[jacko45k]

Wow, this makes my incident look trivial.

Mine was petty thieving from my wallet, but then again she does NOT have access to my bank accounts.

Thieving is thieving and a major breaking of trust that should be in a relationship.

Fortunately it sounds like the money is still 'around', and it is more a case of hoarding, rather than something much worse like passing it on to a 3rd party or the worst thing, gambling.

Don't listen to her obvious lies.

It could be a mental problem stemming from insecurity, but it needs to be stopped.

Recover what you can and take over the finances and block her access to the funds excepting an allowance!

Temptation is to end the relationship and this may be inevitable.....but try to address her insecurities, like having a will (watch your back ) and maybe a trust fund. I put mine in a temple for a week, where she could not even use a phone, she came back a changed person and has been good since. You may consider that or a psychiatrist! Good luck.

She has been good since......haha...for now, yes.

Well it has been over a few years now, let us hope. (I still check the wallet though!)

You know what they say, to err is human, to forgive is divine..... it must be right, when people see me they say 'Good God'.....

[craigt3365]

An off topic and rude comment has been removed from view.

FYI. I had this same thing happen to me with my wife, but it was right after we were first married. And she was very young at the time.

She was saving change from shopping trips and when I found it, was about $400. Not a big deal, and apparently was to buy a present for her father. A noble idea.

But what I did about this really changed our relationship...and her behavior....in many ways. I created a joint checking account. It was a huge difference. It was now "her" money that was being spent. I even created a savings account in her name and put in $1,000. She was super happy, as it was "all hers". FYI, 12 years later, it's still there....LOL.

She went from buying whatever brand was at the grocery store, irregardless of cost, to scrutinizing the price and value big time. She quit spending money frivolously. I'd tease her about expenditures and say "no worries, it just less money in your checking account!". She didn't like to hear that.

Not sure how you've got your finances sorted out...but thought I'd share that with you. Best of luck.

[NancyL]

As has been mentioned, women from many cultures salt away money -- have been doing it for generations. Especially if they didn't have their own independent source of income. However, it doesn't mean they were planning to leave the old man. I imagine most of the posters expressing outrage and advising the OP to break up his marriage probably had mothers who did the same thing from the household allowance, grocery money or by selling eggs or butter to the neighbors.

[sipi]

Are there any other indications that things aren't right with the family? Is she distancing herself or your daughter from you? Does she disappear for hours or days on end? Or are things as normal?

From my experience an unhappy Thai wife will simply tell you it is over, and just leave knowing she will get half of everything anyway.

Is there a cure for financial instability? Yes, talk...

From my experience an unhappy Thai wife will murder you and take the lot.

It's an unhappy US wife that will leave and take half or more.

I don't know anyone from the US that have separated, but I know a f few from Thailand. They sure look alive to me.

Sent from my GT-S5300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[sdanielmcev]

I do have to wonder what changed, as the OP hasn't said, for her to start socking away money. And, how was she before. It always takes two. I've seen here many that think money should be 'controlled.'

People hide stuff because they're going to get an averse reaction. So, she probably doesn't trust you. Why doesn't she trust you, I think should be the question.

[pitchag]

Our wives need their own money, whether we like it or not. I give my wife money and she stashes it. I pay for everything but she still needs her own money. I don't blame her. Stashing is different to blowing it.

I agree I give mine an allowance, support her kids and I pay all the bills, the condo is in my name, bank account in my name and car in my name, I have two ex western wives and I am determined not to be screwed over again, When I die she gets it all if we are still together. I am very fond of her and she is the best woman I have ever lived with but after the other two, ( one lasted 13 years+ two kids and the other 32 years and two kids) I am a bit jaded about this feeling called "love" not sure if it really exists apart from how you feel about your kids I would die for mine. As for inheritance they got my mums money and will get their mums money so will be taken care of and agree with me leaving mine to my lady

[NancyL]

As has been mentioned, women from many cultures salt away money -- have been doing it for generations. Especially if they didn't have their own independent source of income. However, it doesn't mean they were planning to leave the old man. I imagine most of the posters expressing outrage and advising the OP to break up his marriage probably had mothers who did the same thing from the household allowance, grocery money or by selling eggs or butter to the neighbors.

There is a difference between keeping money back from your housekeeping, and taking money from your partners bank account.

I am in no way saying what the OPs wife did was right. What I'm doing is trying to provide another perspective; to give some insight as to how/why the OP's wife may be thinking the way she is. And to point out that her actions are in no way unique to the Thai culture -- despite all the bashing of Thai women that is occurring.

[NancyL]

In my involvement with Lanna Care Net, I've observed several situations where western men have died after years of being lovingly cared for by Thai women. Women who were promised -- don't worry, you'll be taken care of, everything is fine.

I've seen several absolute saints discover that their late husbands weren't what they seemed to be at all. One owed huge sums in back taxes in his home country and all his bank accounts there were seized upon his death. Several were still married back in the home country -- they'd lied when they said they were "free to marry" in Thailand. So the "real" wife got the widow's pension. Many die without Final Wills and have adult children in the home country who are going to inherit with the same share as the Thai wife. I've seen Thai widows forced to sell condos that were in the guy's name when his adult children insisted they wanted "their share" of the condo.

Of course, this doesn't happen in the majority of cases. But enough of these guys seemed like really nice people. Maybe just a little lazy or convinced they were going to live forever. Or thought their Thai wife could just keep living in the condo and no one would bother her. I don't know. But, if I know about half a dozen cases like this, I suspect the OP's wife knows about even more. Is it any wonder she is trying to set a little aside for her own retirement?

[David48]

^^ Nancy ... I do believe that it's a two-way street.

But it's a story that isn't often mentioned.

Thanks for recounting your experiences ...

[CharlieH]

Two posts edited.Accusation and response.

[NancyL]

^^ Nancy ... I do believe that it's a two-way street.

But it's a story that isn't often mentioned.

Thanks for recounting your experiences ...

Yes, in no way am I condoning the OP's wife "stealing" from a joint bank account, but it does point to the need for her to have her own independent source of income (i.e. allowance) over which she has total control if she has no other source income. Presumably, she has dedicated her life to caring for the OP, his child and their household. This is work of value and should be compensated.

I know there are those who decry the practice of giving a Thai partner an allowance, equating it to paying a hooker a salary to stay with you, but let's get real. Every person wants to feel that their daily activity has worth, that they're making a contribution. Presumably the OP's wife gave up the opportunity to earn income by agreeing to marry him and stay home to have his child and care for his household.

And I'm speaking as a women who has been in a marriage of nearly 40 years and worked in a career where I have a pension and retirement fund in my own name of about the same size as my husband's. Of course, I trust him and find his financial decisions sound and we pool our income, but it's just good to know that if I had to, I could make my own way in the world. Could the OP's wife?

In situations where a man is too controlling about "his" money and a woman has no way to save money of her own, clever women often find a way to salt away funds even if they plan for the marriage to last. You just never know what's going to happen.

[Liquorice]

Have any of you considered life from a Thai womans point of view?

They are raised in a culture where men are the top dogs, women the underdogs.

The men are traditionally the breadwinners.

The woman's role relegated to taking care of the home and family.

Their future is dependant on a good husband who will provide and stay as a family member.

All too often their experience is to see the men get the 10 year itch.

They abandon the family for the arms of a younger woman.

Leaving them in a state of near poverty with little prospect of finding a new husband.

They worry about the family, their future based on what they were raised to see as normal.

Are we so vain to think younger women marry an older foreigner because he is 'hansum'.

They have learnt that an older man offers more security than a younger man.

Less likely to run off with the younger woman, because they are the younger woman.

That's based on their experiences of life.

They don't have the same support systems we are used to in the west.

They worry about the future in older age.

Will the husband abandon her, how will she survive on a 700 baht a month state pension.

She doesn't understand the western welfare systems that we take for granted.

It's not unusual for Asian women to stash away what they can, when they can.

They worry about old age, poverty, no husband for support, loss of face to scrounge from the family.

They need assurance from a foreigner that our culture is different.

They don't need to stash money away for old age.

You won't run away with a younger woman, they will be taken care of after your gone.

They don't understand the differences in our financial situations, it needs to be explained.

Promises can be false, make a will, show her how she will be taken care of.

We cannot truly understand a Thai women and her actions at times because we were not raised in the culture she was.

The only way the OP can begin to understand her actions is to sit down with an open mind and try to understand.

In my opinion the OP is as guilty as his wife for not understanding the culture he was marrying into.

If your a decent guy with a view to a life long marriage you have to explain certain things to your Thai wife.

Many of you have talked about trust. How the OP can't trust her anymore.

From her point of view she probably stashed the money because she didn't trust him to be around as she becomes older and less desirable.

Don't be so trigger happy to judge someone based on our cultural experiences, look at it from their cultural experiences as well.

[kevin2852]

In all of these cases, it is possible to make very dangerous assumptions and to build on them until the resulting tower bears no relation to reality. I like the Occam's Razor philosophy which holds that the simplest explanation is most likely true. Our wives need cash, sure enough and even though you are only middle aged, there will come a time when you have a lot at stake and perhaps you become sick or die. Don't forget that this is a nightmare which Thai women live with all of their lives, looking after old and /or sick parents husbands and children. My thought is that there is nothing at all wrong with squirrelling money away and, she is quite possibly doing you a favour and may not actually wish you any harm at all, but taking harsh advice and punishing her for years for something that you only expect to happen is both dangerous and unfair. I advise you to put all of the money on the table, and take her hand and tell her that you think it is good that she is thinking of all 3 of you, then, take the money and deposit it into an account at your local bank, Not ATM accessible and which requires both signatures to open. That way, she can see it there safe and then both of you can put whatever you can spare into it on your own. This means that even if one of you dies, the other will gain full access and in the meantime, who cares if she can find free money to put into the account. It is there to care for both and if it eventually amounts to a couple of million Baht, it will provide for security and care for all 3 of you for at least a few years. Then, on the passing of the two in say 30 years, whatever is left becomes a legacy for your daughter

[jpinx]

In all of these cases, it is possible to make very dangerous assumptions and to build on them until the resulting tower bears no relation to reality. I like the Occam's Razor philosophy which holds that the simplest explanation is most likely true. Our wives need cash, sure enough and even though you are only middle aged, there will come a time when you have a lot at stake and perhaps you become sick or die. Don't forget that this is a nightmare which Thai women live with all of their lives, looking after old and /or sick parents husbands and children. My thought is that there is nothing at all wrong with squirrelling money away and, she is quite possibly doing you a favour and may not actually wish you any harm at all, but taking harsh advice and punishing her for years for something that you only expect to happen is both dangerous and unfair. I advise you to put all of the money on the table, and take her hand and tell her that you think it is good that she is thinking of all 3 of you, then, take the money and deposit it into an account at your local bank, Not ATM accessible and which requires both signatures to open. That way, she can see it there safe and then both of you can put whatever you can spare into it on your own. This means that even if one of you dies, the other will gain full access and in the meantime, who cares if she can find free money to put into the account. It is there to care for both and if it eventually amounts to a couple of million Baht, it will provide for security and care for all 3 of you for at least a few years. Then, on the passing of the two in say 30 years, whatever is left becomes a legacy for your daughter

As someone previously posted -- this is no solution. It takes many months to unlock bank accounts when someone dies, even joint accounts.

If you want to give her security - buy her a big safe and tell her it's better than under the mattress, and you'll never look in there.. Meantime pay her the monthly housekeeping into a joint account and expect it to have a zero balance at the end of each month after all the bills are paid. Look after your own money and the source of your income - don't expect her to do that.

[manly100]

Yes this is my hope.

She has calmed down today and seems to understand an error in her method. I told her again that it’s good to save but not in secret and showed her a plan to save money together.

Now I have to say that this will color my thinking in the future and I hold little confidence that we can buy a house together.

Naturally I need this to be a one-off incident and if a pattern of this behavior recurs I’ll have to plan my exit.

It does seem her thinking is indeed one of “money she can hide away from me is her money” While my income and assets are also hers not ours. Not sure if an “us” exists in our relationship, just an “what I get?” and “how much I got” (her view)

Have to agree with some posters that much of this behavior can be attributed to facebook gossiping along the lines of “be careful he will do what all men do and leave you with nothing!” and “therefore get all you can Quick! Quick! Quick!”

Could this be a beneficial learning experience for us both?

In all of these cases, it is possible to make very dangerous assumptions and to build on them until the resulting tower bears no relation to reality. I like the Occam's Razor philosophy which holds that the simplest explanation is most likely true. Our wives need cash, sure enough and even though you are only middle aged, there will come a time when you have a lot at stake and perhaps you become sick or die. Don't forget that this is a nightmare which Thai women live with all of their lives, looking after old and /or sick parents husbands and children. My thought is that there is nothing at all wrong with squirrelling money away and, she is quite possibly doing you a favour and may not actually wish you any harm at all, but taking harsh advice and punishing her for years for something that you only expect to happen is both dangerous and unfair. I advise you to put all of the money on the table, and take her hand and tell her that you think it is good that she is thinking of all 3 of you, then, take the money and deposit it into an account at your local bank, Not ATM accessible and which requires both signatures to open. That way, she can see it there safe and then both of you can put whatever you can spare into it on your own. This means that even if one of you dies, the other will gain full access and in the meantime, who cares if she can find free money to put into the account. It is there to care for both and if it eventually amounts to a couple of million Baht, it will provide for security and care for all 3 of you for at least a few years. Then, on the passing of the two in say 30 years, whatever is left becomes a legacy for your daughter

[Liquorice]

manly100, on 15 Nov 2014 - 11:59, said:

Yes this is my hope.

She has calmed down today and seems to understand an error in her method. I told her again that it’s good to save but not in secret and showed her a plan to save money together.

Now I have to say that this will color my thinking in the future and I hold little confidence that we can buy a house together.

Naturally I need this to be a one-off incident and if a pattern of this behavior recurs I’ll have to plan my exit.

It does seem her thinking is indeed one of “money she can hide away from me is her money” While my income and assets are also hers not ours. Not sure if an “us” exists in our relationship, just an “what I get?” and “how much I got” (her view)

Have to agree with some posters that much of this behavior can be attributed to facebook gossiping along the lines of “be careful he will do what all men do and leave you with nothing!” and “therefore get all you can Quick! Quick! Quick!”

Could this be a beneficial learning experience for us both?

kevin2852, on 15 Nov 2014 - 11:35, said:

In all of these cases, it is possible to make very dangerous assumptions and to build on them until the resulting tower bears no relation to reality. I like the Occam's Razor philosophy which holds that the simplest explanation is most likely true. Our wives need cash, sure enough and even though you are only middle aged, there will come a time when you have a lot at stake and perhaps you become sick or die. Don't forget that this is a nightmare which Thai women live with all of their lives, looking after old and /or sick parents husbands and children. My thought is that there is nothing at all wrong with squirrelling money away and, she is quite possibly doing you a favour and may not actually wish you any harm at all, but taking harsh advice and punishing her for years for something that you only expect to happen is both dangerous and unfair. I advise you to put all of the money on the table, and take her hand and tell her that you think it is good that she is thinking of all 3 of you, then, take the money and deposit it into an account at your local bank, Not ATM accessible and which requires both signatures to open. That way, she can see it there safe and then both of you can put whatever you can spare into it on your own. This means that even if one of you dies, the other will gain full access and in the meantime, who cares if she can find free money to put into the account. It is there to care for both and if it eventually amounts to a couple of million Baht, it will provide for security and care for all 3 of you for at least a few years. Then, on the passing of the two in say 30 years, whatever is left becomes a legacy for your daughter

Yes, read my post #232.

[Liquorice]

The problem with joint bank accounts is that Immigration don't accept them as proof of funds.

Funds for extensions must be in the applicants name only.

If it is your intention to leave your Thai banking assets to your wife, then leave a Will to this effect. Even then she will have to go through Court to get those funds released to her.

[jpinx]

Yes this is my hope.

She has calmed down today and seems to understand an error in her method. I told her again that it’s good to save but not in secret and showed her a plan to save money together.

Now I have to say that this will color my thinking in the future and I hold little confidence that we can buy a house together.

Naturally I need this to be a one-off incident and if a pattern of this behavior recurs I’ll have to plan my exit.

It does seem her thinking is indeed one of “money she can hide away from me is her money” While my income and assets are also hers not ours. Not sure if an “us” exists in our relationship, just an “what I get?” and “how much I got” (her view)

Have to agree with some posters that much of this behavior can be attributed to facebook gossiping along the lines of “be careful he will do what all men do and leave you with nothing!” and “therefore get all you can Quick! Quick! Quick!”

Could this be a beneficial learning experience for us both?

In all of these cases, it is possible to make very dangerous assumptions and to build on them until the resulting tower bears no relation to reality. I like the Occam's Razor philosophy which holds that the simplest explanation is most likely true. Our wives need cash, sure enough and even though you are only middle aged, there will come a time when you have a lot at stake and perhaps you become sick or die. Don't forget that this is a nightmare which Thai women live with all of their lives, looking after old and /or sick parents husbands and children. My thought is that there is nothing at all wrong with squirrelling money away and, she is quite possibly doing you a favour and may not actually wish you any harm at all, but taking harsh advice and punishing her for years for something that you only expect to happen is both dangerous and unfair. I advise you to put all of the money on the table, and take her hand and tell her that you think it is good that she is thinking of all 3 of you, then, take the money and deposit it into an account at your local bank, Not ATM accessible and which requires both signatures to open. That way, she can see it there safe and then both of you can put whatever you can spare into it on your own. This means that even if one of you dies, the other will gain full access and in the meantime, who cares if she can find free money to put into the account. It is there to care for both and if it eventually amounts to a couple of million Baht, it will provide for security and care for all 3 of you for at least a few years. Then, on the passing of the two in say 30 years, whatever is left becomes a legacy for your daughter

It's good to hear that you're being reasonable and trying to understand cultural background to this behaviour. I really hope you can work out how to continue the family intact. Removing the temptations and replacing them with security will help a lot. As I said earlier let her have her own bank account for savings, or if she doesn't like banks - buy her a safe and give her all the keys. Put your contribution to the family housekeeping into a joint account and expect it to be empty after the bills are paid each month, but control your own money and your source of income carefully -- don't expect her to do that - it's unfair to put such temptation in her way.

Good luck to you and your family

[NancyL]

I'm glad to see the OP has calmed down and realized his wife didn't have some sort of mental breakdown, as the title of the thread would indicate. Yes, it's a traumatic discovery, but it seems he's looking at the situation a little more rationally than the "throw the tramp out" brigade.

I would hope the OP has more than just the funds needed for Immigration as the entire estate he plans to leave to his family. If not, then it's not surprising that the wife has been setting aside her own funds.

There's some good suggestions here. A combination of joint savings and individual accounts are needed to get thru a crisis. Hubby and I each have our own accounts in Thailand (in addition to a joint account for daily living expenses) because we know the joint account will be frozen upon death of one party.

The suggestion to buy gold and invest in a safe are good, too. That's widely accepted in Thai culture and would give her a sense of security.

A combination of all these ways of saving make sense. Who knows? Maybe the doomsday people are right. It might not hurt to have some gold around.

All these actions make more sense and give more security than having wads of money in pockets in the wardrobe. What if you have a fire or robbery?

[thequietman]

This has happened to me also, not the hiding money thing but the need or want to start her own business.

With Thai's I find it is all-in when it comes to starting a new business. No market research, no thinking it through and no 'dipping one's foot in the water first' mindset.

The fact she wants to open a business is great. She's not lazy and she is ambitious. Agree to the idea in principle but express the need to start small, slowly, baby steps to ascertain if it is gonna work. If business is good and picks up and is steady, give her a verbal agreement that you will expand the business and build proper premises.

So a little coffee house is about 10,000 baht second hand, couple tables and chairs (cheap), some signage (very cheap) and let her give it a whirl.

If she doesn't want to try the idea then you know its all a load of BS and you can make your decision on your future with clearer info. My wife has tried many ideas and some have failed but some are good earners. Be open minded, maybe she is looking out for both your futures also. Best of luck.

[AYJAYDEE]

This is the all time BEST thread I've ever seen on thai visa. It makes everything so clear about why so many here are thai bashers!! Perfect!! lol!!

[Jungle Jim]

Sadly i think the OP does not get it! I hope you have a few million more to give her. She will be back to her old tricks within a week. Again i ask. Where did you meet her ?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

The problem with joint bank accounts is that Immigration don't accept them as proof of funds.

Funds for extensions must be in the applicants name only.

If it is your intention to leave your Thai banking assets to your wife, then leave a Will to this effect. Even then she will have to go through Court to get those funds released to her.

The problem with joint accounts is, you gotta be stupid to let someone else access money you earned.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

This has happened to me also, not the hiding money thing but the need or want to start her own business.

With Thai's I find it is all-in when it comes to starting a new business. No market research, no thinking it through and no 'dipping one's foot in the water first' mindset.

The fact she wants to open a business is great. She's not lazy and she is ambitious. Agree to the idea in principle but express the need to start small, slowly, baby steps to ascertain if it is gonna work. If business is good and picks up and is steady, give her a verbal agreement that you will expand the business and build proper premises.

So a little coffee house is about 10,000 baht second hand, couple tables and chairs (cheap), some signage (very cheap) and let her give it a whirl.

If she doesn't want to try the idea then you know its all a load of BS and you can make your decision on your future with clearer info. My wife has tried many ideas and some have failed but some are good earners. Be open minded, maybe she is looking out for both your futures also. Best of luck.

Coffee machine alone costs 40k and up.

Good luck getting a coffee shop set up without a coffee machine.

Next problem,

Women who marry foreigners are often lazy, and only last a week or two in a hobby shop.

Mind you, I wouldn't mind having a real coffee machine at home, for a bargain price, PM me when your gf/wife gets tired of her new shop.

[Liquorice]

Jungle Jim, on 15 Nov 2014 - 13:22, said:

Sadly i think the OP does not get it! I hope you have a few million more to give her. She will be back to her old tricks within a week. Again i ask. Where did you meet her ?

No, I think the OP does get it, sadly you don't.

What relevance does where he met her have. It's the person, not the place that matters.

Are you implying if she was a 'bargirl' she has no morals.

Do you think bargirls like to sleep with old farts because they enjoy it!

They do it purely for the money, for financial security when their older.