Dowry For Divorced Thai Lady

[Sakeopete]

I put 100 000 Baht on the tray for my wife's family to save/gain face. They returned the money to me afterwards without a second thought and they have never asked me for a satang. If you marry any woman not just Thai get to know the family first "The mango doesn't fall far from the tree".

Though it is tradition to pay sinsot it is also to be returned to the newly weds only greedy parents would opt to keep it (Warning Signs!!!!)

[jdinasia]

I've read many of these threads, but to my knowledge, no-one has addressed the situation where the lady has not been legally married before, has not previously recieved any sin sod or gone through any marriage ceremony, traditional or legal, but nevertheless had a common law 'husband'who she co-habited with and maybe had a child or children from that relationship.

In these circumstances, with or without offspring, would it be in order for the new farang, being the first 'legal' husband to pay a dowry?

Experts please?

Kids rule out sinsot.

As far as sinsot for a divorced woman ... nope! But if you end up with the house etc ... there's a ton of security for your new wife in the long run!

Good advice

Thanks ... It IS worth mentioning that there IS more than one culture present in Thailand and SinSot as it has been discussed here ir more aimed at Thai Buddhists ... not the TH/CH etc etc

Edited August 8, 2006 by jdinasia

[chippie]

you can read this:- http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Weekly/weekly239.htm

should give you a good idea.

[jdinasia]

chippie .... that article on stickman is just WRONG from almost the very beginning!

Traditionally in Thai families the husband moves in with the wife's family. Th/Ch Families do it the other way around. I know some folks considerck to actually have a grasp of reality ... but I aint one of them.

[Pink Mist]

"Would a Thai pay a dowry in such circumstances? Not a chance..."

No, but we are different, and have lots of different rules and expectations in many Thais' eyes.

I knew an old guy(57) who was madly in love with a divorced woman many years his younger(38) -

the family(or at least the woman said that) demanded 300,000 baht. The silly old codger paid it thinking he would lose her if he didn't pay. Guess what happened? The customary house was built, her old man got a new Toyota Hilux and he was basically told where to go, after 14 months.

What made it worse, she had 2 sons - one daughter, well might be worth a go.

ALL the relationships I've known where some farang has taken on a son have ended in tears.

Never pay a dowry to a divorced Thai woman, they are just taking the pi*s.

57 aint old

[phibunmike]

Maybe you can toss up 30k as a nice gesture.

Up here in Isaan the general idea is to demand 300,000 for divorcee's with children.

Only farangs have ever paid these figures, most of the time the money went to pay off family related debt or showing off accessories.

Go carefully!

Yup, in Isaan still common to pay. I happily paid. As others have said, up to you...

If a farang pays same as Thai, I think there might be some loss of face, but again, that doesn't have to influence you.

[phibunmike]

Thais pay the fee.

Tuk tuk drivers, dishwashers, everybody pays it. It's local custom.

When in Rome, no?

If you get married in Thailand, PAY THE FEE, unless you want to be known as a cheap ###### among her family and friends.

100,000 is respectable.

If she's been previously married, then perhaps you could arrange to get part of it returned after the big show.

It's an insignificant amount of money relative to the situation which you are about to embark, No?

Well said skipper

[Donz]

I dont usually agree with skipper but his post is the best on here so far

[britmaveric]

Thais pay the fee.

Tuk tuk drivers, dishwashers, everybody pays it. It's local custom.

When in Rome, no?

If you get married in Thailand, PAY THE FEE, unless you want to be known as a cheap ###### among her family and friends.

100,000 is respectable.

If she's been previously married, then perhaps you could arrange to get part of it returned after the big show.

It's an insignificant amount of money relative to the situation which you are about to embark, No?

Some do some dont - known Thai(s) and Farang(s) alike that paid not a single baht. Guess what no one considered them cheap and amazingly enough the families never asked for any. Their daughters happiness was paramount.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

"Would a Thai pay a dowry in such circumstances? Not a chance..."

No, but we are different, and have lots of different rules and expectations in many Thais' eyes.

I knew an old guy(57) who was madly in love with a divorced woman many years his younger(38) -

the family(or at least the woman said that) demanded 300,000 baht. The silly old codger paid it thinking he would lose her if he didn't pay. Guess what happened? The customary house was built, her old man got a new Toyota Hilux and he was basically told where to go, after 14 months.

What made it worse, she had 2 sons - one daughter, well might be worth a go.

ALL the relationships I've known where some farang has taken on a son have ended in tears.

Never pay a dowry to a divorced Thai woman, they are just taking the pi*s.

57 aint old

George could possibly confirm that LOL

[a2396]

"Would a Thai pay a dowry in such circumstances? Not a chance..."

No, but we are different, and have lots of different rules and expectations in many Thais' eyes.

I knew an old guy(57) who was madly in love with a divorced woman many years his younger(38) -

the family(or at least the woman said that) demanded 300,000 baht. The silly old codger paid it thinking he would lose her if he didn't pay. Guess what happened? The customary house was built, her old man got a new Toyota Hilux and he was basically told where to go, after 14 months.

What made it worse, she had 2 sons - one daughter, well might be worth a go.

ALL the relationships I've known where some farang has taken on a son have ended in tears.

Never pay a dowry to a divorced Thai woman, they are just taking the pi*s.

You are not quite understanding the cultural norms in Thailand.........

In the North....divorced or not..kids or not..they expect to start a new life.....with me so far??

With that new life is a new husband...who respects her and her family....

Soooooooo..we pay the Sin Sod....that (previously arranged) is returned after the wedding.......keep up ok?

Everybody is happy..the farang has not "bought" his wife, the family have much "face" because all have seen that their lovely daughter is worth something (still)

Easy.... I am so bored that there are so many posts about this.......

You can't be serious. This is cultural garbage and extorsion. If you like to throw away your money & get no respect from them in the process-up to you.

[LoveDaBlues]

Maybe you can toss up 30k as a nice gesture.

Up here in Isaan the general idea is to demand 300,000 for divorcee's with children.

Only farangs have ever paid these figures, most of the time the money went to pay off family related debt or showing off accessories.

Go carefully!

I'm in Issan for 1 year. I can only relate 3 cases I personally know about. First case - TG divorced with 1 child; no sin sot.....2nd case - TG divorced with 1 child; no sin sot.....3rd case - (me) TG divorced without child; no sin sot paid and subject never broached by Thai family; if any family needed money it's them, very poor but asked that I only take care of their daughter. I HAVE helped them financially.....because I wanted to......not because it was demanded......BIG DIFFERENCE.

added - just talked to the TW. I had forgotten about a wedding she and I attended about 6 months ago. Sin sot of 100,000 baht (gold also but I forget the amount) Virgin bride.

Also, the TW had a really good friend (virgin) married; the sin sot was 200,000 baht + gold.

I think 300,000 for a divorced lady with children is stretching things; IMHO. Can't imagine anyone actually paying this; even farang.

[bannork]

It was only a few months ago this thread elicited many replies, I can only repeat, in our village and neighbouring ones I know of at least 3 women who received dowries from Thai husbands the second time round. 2 of the 3 had no children which may have influenced the decision but they received about 40,000 baht each, 2 are farming women and one works in a factory.