age difference...

[dotpoom]

If two people are good for each other, that is the important issue.

[NoshowJones]

The bigger the age difference the more brief the relationship.

Hey I am 76 and she is 25 been together 3 years now. She will hang in there for the long haul. No she has not tried to take me to the cleaners.

She is with you for financial security of some sort, if you think otherwise, then I feel sorry for you.

[Crazy chef 1]

Socially acceptable and morally acceptable are 2 different matters.

Socially acceptable will vary depending on what society and what segment of society you are inquiring about.

Morally acceptable IMO is a personal, individual assessment. For myself, I would see a moral issue only if the partner were too young to be making an informed, mature decision about being in the relationship.

A third factor which you did not mention, but which would be well to consider, is not "acceptability" but advisability. An older person is likely to know what they want and be able to accurately forecast what they will continue to want a decade hence. Much younger people will inevitability grow and change and may well come to no longer want what they previously thought they did. It has been my observaton, not just in Thailand but even back in the farang land, that marriages to much younger partners have a higher rate of break-up and infidelity on the part of the younger spouse. Time passes, the older spouse becomes even older while the younger one is still youthful and they increasingly feel physically turned off; they also start to have aspirations they did not previously have and want different things. Not always of course, but it happens.

Women usually mature faster than men, making (somewhat) older men attractive to young women, since their male peers are relatively immature. But men age faster, making a man of even the same age "old" while his wife is still looking and feeling young. In other words, from a female perspective, the ideal mate is say 5-10 years older than you when you are in your teens and twenties, but at least as much younger than you when you hit middle age

Nothing to do with morality or society, and not really important for short term relationships. but worth thinking about if contemplating a permanent commitment to someone significantly younger....

wise words...

[jdinasia]

Depends what part of the country you live in.

Depends on whether the buffalo farang has built a farang mansion and bought a 'Tuna.

Depends on whether the buffalo farang has to pay his mrs and her family a stipend every month.

Depends on whether the CC buffalo farang lost face and didnt pay at least 5 million baht sin sot for some second hand girl and her 3 kids.

Depends on wheter the farang understands that not really her brother but her gik.

Where in Thailand do you live?

Can you speak Thai and understand what the "pak jat" old yais are saying about you?

it also depends whether you give a flying fàrt or not what other people think

Personally I couldnt give a flying fig.

Depends on whether you actually believe the kid is yours, despite being out the country at the time it was concieved,

Depends on how desperate you are for company that you have to pay for.

Depends on whether you really care what your mrs is up to or who she sees.

Depends on whether you can afford to walk away or not.

Depends on how much of a buffalo you want to make of yourself.

Depends on how much you feel the need to be a hansam man.

Who really gives a shyt, keep on making a fool of yourself, no one cares.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/781851-i-dont-suppose-i-will-be-the-last/

I was 39 when we started dating. He was 24 and looked even younger.

Now I am 50 and he is 36. Officially married in the US this year.

He is Thai. He has his own house. His own car. His own career. In fact, he makes more money here than I do.

I think rgs2001uk may have had a less desirable outcome in the past than many of us.

[NoshowJones]

I'm 54 and my girlfriend of 4 years is 24. I've never had kids so it's an ideal age for her to get pregnant and I'm excited to say we'll be having a child next year! Would never have happened in my home country.

It's financial security again, but you are obviously happy, so good luck to you.

[starky]

IMO in Thailand morality or social acceptability has nothing to do with it. The Pattaya, Phuket brigade wear it like some perverted badge of honour how much younger the current gf/ wife happens to be. Personally I reckon 15-20 would be about right. In Thailand it seems to be more about 20-25 years difference anything beyond that starts getting creepy. If she wasn't alive when you were in your mid 20's it's all about one thing. Also if you had a daughter that was younger than your wife I think that would be weird and old mate who is 76 and she's 25 all I can think is "what's love got to do, got to do with it" not that there's anything wrong with that.....

[starky]

The bigger the age difference the more brief the relationship.

Hey I am 76 and she is 25 been together 3 years now. She will hang in there for the long haul. No she has not tried to take me to the cleaners.

For the long haul...

[NoshowJones]

I am 80 and my Thai "wife" of 10 years is 37. Does that answer your question ?

As long as you know and can accept that she is only with you for financial security, then there's no harm done.

[rayongchelsea]

Depends what part of the country you live in.

Depends on whether the buffalo farang has built a farang mansion and bought a 'Tuna.

Depends on whether the buffalo farang has to pay his mrs and her family a stipend every month.

Depends on whether the CC buffalo farang lost face and didnt pay at least 5 million baht sin sot for some second hand girl and her 3 kids.

Depends on wheter the farang understands that not really her brother but her gik.

Where in Thailand do you live?

Can you speak Thai and understand what the "pak jat" old yais are saying about you?

it also depends whether you give a flying fàrt or not what other people think

Personally I couldnt give a flying fig.

Depends on whether you actually believe the kid is yours, despite being out the country at the time it was concieved,

Depends on how desperate you are for company that you have to pay for.

Depends on whether you really care what your mrs is up to or who she sees.

Depends on whether you can afford to walk away or not.

Depends on how much of a buffalo you want to make of yourself.

Depends on how much you feel the need to be a hansam man.

Who really gives a shyt, keep on making a fool of yourself, no one cares.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/781851-i-dont-suppose-i-will-be-the-last/

I was 39 when we started dating. He was 24 and looked even younger.

Now I am 50 and he is 36. Officially married in the US this year.

He is Thai. He has his own house. His own car. His own career. In fact, he makes more money here than I do.

I think rgs2001uk may have had a less desirable outcome in the past than many of us.

No. Just look around you. You are an exception not the rule. He is stating the obvious..

[maidee]

as long are both consenting adults, than i would say, none of your business

if the 50+ (60,70) year old fart, believes that a 20+ young thing is "in love" with him, good for him

the rest may know it is just a business transaction, that will end when the old fart runs out of money

or when she already have a house, car, fat bank account in her name and she thinks it is time to kick the old bastard out and let her young thai husband / lover in

[nontabury]

my wife is 6 years younger than me and our baby is coming the next few days...

even if i am just 40 i'm already concerned to be too old as father...dunno

It's up to you, some people are old mentally and physically by the time they are in their mid thirties, while other can still be young in their late seventies. Think positively, maybe your child will make you young. Best of luck,enjoy and being a father.

[nontabury]

The bigger the age difference the more brief the relationship.

Well my wife is 24 years younger than me ,and only a few years older than my daughter ,we have a son ,who is 21 and have been together 22 years , my question is ,is my relationship doomed ,do you think she will leave after shuch a" brief" relationship.?

Ever thought about some of the questions like:

What was her financial status prior to the marriage?

Did she and her family gain any financial benefit through your marriage?

What would her life be if she dumped you? Would she have to go back to rile rice fields?

Do you know ANY young Thai woman who prefers 24 y. older farang man over some young Thai stud?

Yes, I know of three, and it's not a matter of them preferring the older Farang man for financial gains.

[Jungle Jim]

Far too many young and old men penniless because they drank vitamin beer day after day. no common sense. they deserve what they get date a bar girl ,make zero effort to learn Thai and drink beer non stop. sorry no sympathy from me

as long are both consenting adults, than i would say, none of your business

if the 50+ (60,70) year old fart, believes that a 20+ young thing is "in love" with him, good for him

the rest may know it is just a business transaction, that will end when the old fart runs out of money

or when she already have a house, car, fat bank account in her name and she thinks it is time to kick the old bastard out and let her young thai husband / lover in

[kennypowers]

If people are happy then great. But the biggest misconception by foreigners is that a huge age difference is any more acceptable here than elsewhere. The large majority of Thais are in relationships/marriages with a partner within 5-7 years of their age, usually more like 1 or 2 years, at a push 5.

Sadly, where the larger age gaps are concerned, it's mostly a case of the girl not being able to get a decent Thai guy around her own age (been married before, poor education, a few kids, no money, lower status family, etc), so the much older, financially stable and willing to share it with the family farang becomes the best option.

Of course there are exceptions. I've met a handful of career women in BKK with foreign boyfriends 10 or so years their senior; woman early 30's, man early 40's. But this is a totally different playing field in that the woman is financially and emotionally independent. She has options, she has her own money, she has no children, she has a stable family background and no wicked mother pushing her to find a farang to fleece.

[kennypowers]

Socially acceptable and morally acceptable are 2 different matters.

Socially acceptable will vary depending on what society and what segment of society you are inquiring about.

Morally acceptable IMO is a personal, individual assessment. For myself, I would see a moral issue only if the partner were too young to be making an informed, mature decision about being in the relationship.

A third factor which you did not mention, but which would be well to consider, is not "acceptability" but advisability. An older person is likely to know what they want and be able to accurately forecast what they will continue to want a decade hence. Much younger people will inevitability grow and change and may well come to no longer want what they previously thought they did. It has been my observaton, not just in Thailand but even back in the farang land, that marriages to much younger partners have a higher rate of break-up and infidelity on the part of the younger spouse. Time passes, the older spouse becomes even older while the younger one is still youthful and they increasingly feel physically turned off; they also start to have aspirations they did not previously have and want different things. Not always of course, but it happens.

Women usually mature faster than men, making (somewhat) older men attractive to young women, since their male peers are relatively immature. But men age faster, making a man of even the same age "old" while his wife is still looking and feeling young. In other words, from a female perspective, the ideal mate is say 5-10 years older than you when you are in your teens and twenties, but at least as much younger than you when you hit middle age

Nothing to do with morality or society, and not really important for short term relationships. but worth thinking about if contemplating a permanent commitment to someone significantly younger....

Few egos on TVF will be willing to accept this truth.

[masuk]

quiet right.

real age and physical or mental age sometimes differ...

but i think from a certain (number) difference it's becoming obvious difficult...thats the purpose of this topic to find out when...

"Quiet" as in 'no noise'. But I think the comment is quite right that age is a number, and it's up to the individuals, if both are of legal age.

[laubau]

What a bitter old fart you are! Just because this happened to you does not mean everyone chooses like you did!! Some guys have good women and relationships regardless of what you think or what occurred during your lost relationship!!! Give your head a shake!

[uptheos]

The bigger the age difference the more brief the relationship.

TBH I'd only want a 21 year old for a brief relationship

[Costas2008]

when i was 20 i was attracted to girls around my age..

when i was 30 i was attracted to girls between 20-35...

now for girls between 30-40...

will see what comes next...

Hey chef, I'm really worried about you.

Don't want to visit you in jail in some years...............

Just keep praying and all bad thoughts will go away....................

[mick01827]

The first time I arrived in bkk I saw a lot of older guys, by which I mean 70+, with quite young women, around the early 20s mark, I thought it was quite disgusting at the time but since I've gotten older(im 43), and realised life is very short my view has completely changed, I take my hat off to the old boys for sharing the company of a young woman, obviously no love involved but if it suits both party's 2 fingers up to the world, your along time dead

[Crazy chef 1]

when i was 20 i was attracted to girls around my age..

when i was 30 i was attracted to girls between 20-35...

now for girls between 30-40...

will see what comes next...

Hey chef, I'm really worried about you.

Don't want to visit you in jail in some years...............

Just keep praying and all bad thoughts will go away....................

no worries don't think i will become a necrophiliac....

[brewsterbudgen]

The bigger the age difference the more brief the relationship.

Hey I am 76 and she is 25 been together 3 years now. She will hang in there for the long haul. No she has not tried to take me to the cleaners.

She is with you for financial security of some sort, if you think otherwise, then I feel sorry for you.

I would have thought that was obvious - and why is he with her? If it suits both parties it should work fine. Good luck to them.

[David48]

What a bitter old fart you are! Just because this happened to you does not mean everyone chooses like you did!! Some guys have good women and relationships regardless of what you think or what occurred during your lost relationship!!! Give your head a shake!

Which bitter old fart are you referring to ...

.

[csabo]

when i got married our age difference was 7 years. now after 35 years of marriage that difference is still 7 years. could it be that there's something wrong with my wife or me?

Don't panic. She is catching up.

If you got married, for example, when your wife was 20 and you were 40 she was half your age.

10 years later at 30 and 50 she would be 3/5 your age.

10 years more at 40 and 60 she would be 2/3 your age.

20 more at 60 and 80 she will be 3/4 your age.

SO..if you live long enough she will eventually be the same age as you! Or so says my math

[Expat1]

Actually it is no ones business but yours and hers. Tell em to take a hike.

Chances are though reality of the difference of the 70 to 20 years spread will eventually tell on her and she will take off at some point. Enjoy until then. In any case, I would not recommend marriage here unless she is somehow from similar culture type and language group ability as yourself regardless of age. Oil and water other wise.

[Jimbolai]

Him being 70 and her 20 and up should be good for both with enough money. Any marriage is based on money. If you have enough money you can marry anyone you like. It is only a problem to other people.

[laubau]

What a bitter old fart you are! Just because this happened to you does not mean everyone chooses like you did!! Some guys have good women and relationships regardless of what you think or what occurred during your lost relationship!!! Give your head a shake!

Which bitter old fart are you referring to ...

.

rgs 201 UK ...but does it really matter? I know there are many but this is for all the "nay sayer" old farts!!

[Jimbolai]

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The first time I arrived in bkk I saw a lot of older guys, by which I mean 70+, with quite young women, around the early 20s mark, I thought it was quite disgusting at the time but since I've gotten older(im 43), and realised life is very short my view has completely changed, I take my hat off to the old boys for sharing the company of a young woman, obviously no love involved but if it suits both party's 2 fingers up to the world, your along time dead

You say obviously no love involved. Could you please explain what love means and do it in 500.000 words or less. Thank you. I will enjoy living well but not sit around waiting for your assignment to be completed.

[stopthegreed]

I live in the Philippine s. I am 61. Have no house. And no car. And not a lot of money. I have been with the same girl for 9 months. When I met her she was 19. Now 20. She seems very happy and wants us to get married. She also looks like a beauty queen. Am I wrong ,? I am happy. Is that wrong ? She is happy. Is that wrong? He father, has no objections. Her family like me, and I dont give them money. So their friendship is not bought. She tells me sge has never been happier. And while it stays that way she doesnt care about the age difference. I am having the time of my life. AM I wrong ?

[David48]

When I met her she was 19. Now 20. ... She also looks like a beauty queen.

Photo please.

Her, not you ...

.