stickylies Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 to wai or no to wai, that is the question. as a rule of thumd, i rarely wai... i do shake hands with a few "high" guys as they love it to be threated western-style in front of their "lower" thai wai'ing-subordinates. i also tell the people i often "deal with" not to wai at me (if they are adults). i don't assign much value to the "wai" as many thai people will wai someone and once he or she turns his/her back they will gossip/slander. they file it under: being grengjai. I explain my friends it's plain hypocrisy and I (personally) don't do that stuff. They understand and envy me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 in thai society, it was ypu that wqs rude. her status is higher than yours and a polite wai is expected.Lol Yes, very funny indeed. Who has the time to learn the intricacies of silly customs like these? I must wai her as she as a higher position that I have? What are we in the 8th century? It is incumbent upon her to develop the humility to interact with society in a fashion befitting a dignified person. It is not on you to bow to her silliness. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense. I do not care where we live. We do not have to bow down to silliness. If you feel like a wai, perform a wai. But do not do it out of social obligation. That is sheer silliness and pettiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 in thai society, it was ypu that wqs rude. her status is higher than yours and a polite wai is expected.Lol Yes, very funny indeed. Who has the time to learn the intricacies of silly customs like these? I must wai her as she as a higher position that I have? What are we in the 8th century? It is incumbent upon her to develop the humility to interact with society in a fashion befitting a dignified person. It is not on you to bow to her silliness. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense. I do not care where we live. We do not have to bow down to silliness. If you feel like a wai, perform a wai. But do not do it out of social obligation. That is sheer silliness and pettiness. Would you bow/wai to royalty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wangsuda Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Would you bow/wai to royalty? For 99.9999...% of TV posters, I don't think this would be a reality. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermike007 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 in thai society, it was ypu that wqs rude. her status is higher than yours and a polite wai is expected.Lol Yes, very funny indeed. Who has the time to learn the intricacies of silly customs like these? I must wai her as she as a higher position that I have? What are we in the 8th century? It is incumbent upon her to develop the humility to interact with society in a fashion befitting a dignified person. It is not on you to bow to her silliness. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense. I do not care where we live. We do not have to bow down to silliness. If you feel like a wai, perform a wai. But do not do it out of social obligation. That is sheer silliness and pettiness. Would you bow/wai to royalty? Of course. In the case of current royalty it would be out of great affection and respect. In the case of that silly assistant director, not necessarily the case. I have no problem using the wai. I like it. Just do not like the entire status system based on position. It is silly and churlish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 (edited) Yes, very funny indeed. Who has the time to learn the intricacies of silly customs like these? I must wai her as she as a higher position that I have? What are we in the 8th century? It is incumbent upon her to develop the humility to interact with society in a fashion befitting a dignified person. It is not on you to bow to her silliness. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense. I do not care where we live. We do not have to bow down to silliness. If you feel like a wai, perform a wai. But do not do it out of social obligation. That is sheer silliness and pettiness. Would you bow/wai to royalty? Of course. In the case of current royalty it would be out of great affection and respect. In the case of that silly assistant director, not necessarily the case. I have no problem using the wai. I like it. Just do not like the entire status system based on position. It is silly and churlish. Do you work here? So you would wai ALL the royal family, even the ones you don't know about - thereare a very large family ? Would you wai the Prime Minister? Immigration Officer? Village Headman? Edited January 3, 2015 by Neeranam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tham1 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 (edited) Assuming you are non-Thai why would you Wai a Thai? No need to Wai them whatsoever. Edited January 3, 2015 by Tham1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watcharacters Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 …Do you even need to ask? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stickylies Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 and if u wanna do the whole wai'ing thing, learn to wai properly first... hands in front of body when wai'ing to laypeople. not in front of the head (budhha and co). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Assuming you are non-Thai why would you Wai a Thai? No need to Wai them whatsoever. Oh my God, I hope you are joking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I treat others how they treat me, They Smile , I smile, they speak I speak, I have spoken to people and smiled in the past , but after years of being ignored i don't bother now, The land of Smiles not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyumiii Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Saying "Hallo" is considered rude even in Native English Speaking countries of the west. Next time try " Hello". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tham1 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Assuming you are non-Thai why would you Wai a Thai? No need to Wai them whatsoever. Oh my God, I hope you are joking! Why would I be joking? If you are not Thai why would you give a Wai to one of them? There is no need for a Foreigner to Wai a Thai. Would you Wai a monkey if it Wai'd you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willyumiii Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 The statements of the OP and of some of those who have replies make it easy to understand why so many Thais consider foreigners to be rude, arrogant and unwanted. I agree with them and wish their attitude did not reflect on the rest of us. And to Tham1, Yes, if a monkey waied me, I would return his wai with a big smile and a chuckle. It is kind of sad that a monkey can be more courteous than a fellow foreigner! Never stop reminding yourself that you are a better person, maybe someone will believe it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Assuming you are non-Thai why would you Wai a Thai? No need to Wai them whatsoever. Oh my God, I hope you are joking! Why would I be joking? If you are not Thai why would you give a Wai to one of them? There is no need for a Foreigner to Wai a Thai. Would you Wai a monkey if it Wai'd you? Now, I know you are joking/trolling. Nobody could be that racist on a public forum. Can you imagine if Asian expats refused to shake hands with people in your country? People like you just make the Thai/farang divide wider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
45slap Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Cooked, perhaps, the girl didn't wait you because she thought you being a foreigner don't wai. Probably not to be disrespectful or condescending. Students wave to me whereas they don't wave to Thais. Not a big deal. Get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
45slap Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I smile and wai and say hello, but I refrain from asking anyone how are you because I don't want to know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crickets Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 I saw the lady in question today. She walked into my office and i got a dull look. She spoke to someone about the new foreign teacher that had missing teeth and told someone to send him home. I dont blame her as i wouldnt want my kids taught by him. Anyway i struck up a conversation in thai with her and she was really nice and later walked out and turned around and smiled and said take care. I dont wai because i feel stupid doing it. Issue is over and she understands that i do respect her but i just dont wai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
45slap Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 You will get over the feeling strange thing. It's the way people greet one another, etc. get over it. Don't worry, soon you will be on the beach taking it up the backside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datebayo Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I smile and wai and say hello, but I refrain from asking anyone how are you because I don't want to know! Oh yeah I saw you before! wai-ing all the staff at the restaurant upon entering ))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 Going to have fun with her now. Start to wai and then turn it into a head scratch. Maybe check my top button when i walk past her again. Bitch can wai me if she wanta a wai back. Not properly greeting the boss first is impolite in western culture too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhgz Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 "To me this is rude..." Your question implies that you were rude, and you've turned that around to someone was rude to you. Nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomtomtom69 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Aren't assistant directors, or directors at schools always gloomy and without a smile on their faces anyway? Especially the female ones? This doesn't surprise me. Also, as your boss or at least in terms of hierarchy, you are her subordinate, don't expect a warm welcome anytime, especially not in Thailand. That's simply not how superiors treat their employees here. They are god and everyone below them is a peasant. But if we're talking about ordinary people out on the streets or in any setting where you have to come in contact with someone such as at a restaurant, business etc. a simple smile is enough. Service people often wai their customers, but I can't remember the last time I waiied them. Interestingly, only my fiancee wais such people these days (only after they wai her, or us first) but other Thais generally don't. In rare cases like if a teller helped me a lot at a bank or something I might wai that particular person, but in most cases unless the service was exceptional or a special favour was afforded to me that wouldn't ordinarily be performed, I wouldn't wai that person either as they are just doing their job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomtomtom69 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 It bothers me how much some people care about whether they are waied or not. I personally do not, and could not imagine, ever giving half a rat's soggy ass whether I am waied or not. Frankly, (many) Thais are to Westerners like Earthlings are to Martians (or vice versa). It's really not worth wasting a quarter of a brain cell trying to figure out the motives for their actions, and generally (except maybe when playing poker and signing business deals) I'd even say the same for people who are quite similar to you to begin with. Very true. And also non-spoken language is difficult to figure out, particularly across different cultures. Unless someone says something to me, either positive or negative about a particular non-verbal interaction I would say let it go because it's meaningless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkgooner Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I want to hear more about the teacher with the missing teeth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driedmango Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 i lived around hundreds of the most smug selfish self-centred judgmental hippies in Nelson BC for a while, a majority they won't give you the time of day if your not a hippie too.. on thing i learned is you just have to keep not judging people yourself or else you stop meeting the good ones that aren't like that... that being said, sometimes a smile can look creepy.. like a grin or like you find something funny about them, i think it's better to say hello to people that you aren't sure of how insecure they might be, especially women, at least it's clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driedmango Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 The statements of the OP and of some of those who have replies make it easy to understand why so many Thais consider foreigners to be rude, arrogant and unwanted. I agree with them and wish their attitude did not reflect on the rest of us. And to Tham1, Yes, if a monkey waied me, I would return his wai with a big smile and a chuckle. It is kind of sad that a monkey can be more courteous than a fellow foreigner! Never stop reminding yourself that you are a better person, maybe someone will believe it! truth man ! I am surprised any thai likes and farang I figure they must be more than open minded and tolerant to even give us a chance.. There is so many of the biggest low lifes of western countries strutting around thailand with no self respect, loud, arrogant and all that, people making fun or and disrespecting the local culture, man even as a farang i wish could kick them out of thailand back to their miserable privlieged lives of gluttony and ignorance in what ever backwards shit hole they came from, including New York or Sidney .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomtomtom69 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 In Hpa-an, Kayin State, Myanmar, I was waiied by a friendly young man. I get the feeling they really respect foreigners in Myanmar and the warmth and smiles of the people are just heart warming. Having said that, one also sees strange things like men fighting each other in front of the Myawady border crossing and blocking traffic, a guy that threw a rock at our car because our driver had his head lights on while driving from Mu-se towards Maymyo (the incident occurred near Hsipaw) and a guy that started screaming when our guide asked if we could meet him as he happens to be the son of a former rebel leader we know. Well anyway, Myanmar is a whole other animal compared to Thailand. Just saying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stan42 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 -When encountering farangs: I nod my head and say "Hi" with a smile. -When meeting Thai's in an everyday situation: I slowly nod my head and say watdee kapp with a smile. -When meeting Thai's in a classy setting or who are in a senior/higher position: I give them the full Sawasdee: clasping my hands together, bowing and saying "Sawasdee kaap". -When I meet Hisos I raise my chin and ask "What do you want?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Mved to Expat forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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