If Thai woman has a farang hubbie, does she get derided by other Thais?

[CapeCobra]

I think it's very dependent upon the farang.

If the farang is much older than his Thai wife, she'll get stick especially from Thais outside her circle of friends and family. Yeah I know, the guys SAY they don't care but they DO care even if it's only because their wives are affected by it.

If, however, the farang and his wife are of a similar age, the Thais don't seem as bothered

Agreed, 100%. In fact, my first Thai gf told me an old, common Thai belief is if the people in a relationship look the same- similar age, height, style, etc.- then the relationship has a better chance of working out. Personally, Im less likely to roll my eyes or think "bargirl" when I see this type of couple.

Though, I've been told to be very hansum, I would shoot myself if wife or girlfriend would look anything like me.

[KhnomKhnom]

Silly Western men get bent out of shape by fears of losing money in a marriage. First, adapt fully to the definite Thai belief that love equals "taking care of." It goes both ways as your Thai wife hands you a cold face towel and a home cooked meal. and you hand her 3000THB to pay for her next grocery run and a 100B new T shirt for her.

Make YOUR money into OUR money and watch your wife convert and scrimp every stange now that she has a stake in the account.

Seeing her Thai female friend happily cooking in her new T shirt, most other female Thai below HiSo and HiSo middle class aspirants will envy and think your wife is so smart.

Just do not hold her hand in public walks which labels her a pick up girl.

[micmichd]

Are you sure that Thais judge you by the age in your passport?

I would rather judge people by the way they move, and that can make a big difference.

And hopefully many Thais do too.

[super22k]

Whatever happened to womens lib. and equal rights for women worldwide? All Thai women should be told that if they are equal to men they should be equaly responsible for funding their marriage and everything else. Let us get up to date and see a Thai girl paying for her farangs food in a resturant and buying him a house or a car.....or do they only want equality when it is to their advantage?

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Whatever happened to womens lib. and equal rights for women worldwide? All Thai women should be told that if they are equal to men they should be equaly responsible for funding their marriage and everything else. Let us get up to date and see a Thai girl paying for her farangs food in a resturant and buying him a house or a car.....or do they only want equality when it is to their advantage?

To be fair, my gf only earns 100-150bht a day, that's working 12 hours.

(self employed running a somtam stall)

She couldn't really afford to pay for much.

[micmichd]

Whatever happened to womens lib. and equal rights for women worldwide? All Thai women should be told that if they are equal to men they should be equaly responsible for funding their marriage and everything else. Let us get up to date and see a Thai girl paying for her farangs food in a resturant and buying him a house or a car.....or do they only want equality when it is to their advantage?

Please don't blame Thai girls for Farang women's failure in their campaign.

[Gecko123]

Thais like to feel at ease around other people.

Make an effort to help people feel comfortable around you and everything else will fall into place.

Worrying too much about what Thais think about you is counterproductive.

[eldragon]

Whatever happened to womens lib. and equal rights for women worldwide? All Thai women should be told that if they are equal to men they should be equaly responsible for funding their marriage and everything else. Let us get up to date and see a Thai girl paying for her farangs food in a resturant and buying him a house or a car.....or do they only want equality when it is to their advantage?

To be fair, my gf only earns 100-150bht a day, that's working 12 hours.

(self employed running a somtam stall)

She couldn't really afford to pay for much.

That's either really bad somtam or a terrible location. Or she's just low-balling you on her income.

[Ulysses G.]

I think it's very dependent upon the farang.

If the farang is much older than his Thai wife, she'll get stick especially from Thais outside her circle of friends and family. Yeah I know, the guys SAY they don't care but they DO care even if it's only because their wives are affected by it.

If, however, the farang and his wife are of a similar age, the Thais don't seem as bothered

Agreed, 100%. In fact, my first Thai gf told me an old, common Thai belief is if the people in a relationship look the same- similar age, height, style, etc.- then the relationship has a better chance of working out. Personally, Im less likely to roll my eyes or think "bargirl" when I see this type of couple.

Though, I've been told to be very hansum, I would shoot myself if wife or girlfriend would look anything like me.

True dat.

[mitsubishi]

There two side of it ,good and bad

1) Farang husband meaning she lives a comfortable life and beautiful babies.

That's open to debate, especially given some of the pictures floating about.

2) The bad side is people might think she is working in bars even if she not if she walking with a farang.

True

Nowdays many city girls would like to have farang husband because they are more responsible and caring compare with local guys.

Dream on.

As for racist it don't exist here or sometimes ' nick noi'

East is East, West is West never should the twain meet...

[mania]

Sorry I did not read the whole thread but seeing the title I did

have to laugh.

Mainly because 8 years ago when I met my wife I asked her basically the same question

I said honey tell me honestly...when folks see us walking down the street here

do they think your a bar girl because your with me?

She laughed & told me.....No way!! Bar girls do not dress like this 555

We both had a good laugh

[vogie]

Yes. And so do blacks and whites and Asians and Arabs and Americans and Mexicans and Africans and Protestants and catholics and Muslims and buddhists and,.....

English and Welsh?

[smotherb]

Certainly some do; may be even most. Berkshire mentioned the superficial expectations of a society--if they look good together, they appreciate opinion. However, since many farang-Thai relationships involve negotiable virtue; many people assume they are in a business relationship. It happens the other way round too. Have you ever taken your Asian bride to your home country? I have, two different Asian wives. Both received negative opinion at first meeting. However, the Vietnamese was older than I, more worldly, and a professional economist; so she won-over the naysayers quickly. The Filipina was much younger than I, shy, not nearly as worldly or well educated, and she was only a bookkeeper. Not only strangers, but friends and even some family, thought she was a bargirl. She won them over too, but it took its toll. Keep your pride and your head up.

[AYJAYDEE]

Whatever happened to womens lib. and equal rights for women worldwide? All Thai women should be told that if they are equal to men they should be equaly responsible for funding their marriage and everything else. Let us get up to date and see a Thai girl paying for her farangs food in a resturant and buying him a house or a car.....or do they only want equality when it is to their advantage?

then farang men should pay her parents for the land they build a house on

[lcp0761]

No not al Thai's will react the same.

- From a Thai woman's perspective, most are supportive of having a farang as a boy friend/husband. Most will agree a lot of Thai men are lazy, unemployed, abusive, and drunks. The biggest gripe a Thai woman will share about a Thai man is they are known to have multiple girlfriends/wife's (a sign of financial status - being able to afford multiple partners).

- From a Thai man's perspective, I would imagine they would not have a lot of good things to say about the women.

- From the Thai woman's mother/father, if they can extort money/possessions from the farang, they are happy. Otherwise, they probably want to dis-own their daughter.

- I imagine there are few family, relatives or friends that are truly happy for the Thai woman if she is truly happy.

[Gecko123]

Certainly some do; may be even most. Berkshire mentioned the superficial expectations of a society--if they look good together, they appreciate opinion. However, since many farang-Thai relationships involve negotiable virtue; many people assume they are in a business relationship. It happens the other way round too. Have you ever taken your Asian bride to your home country? I have, two different Asian wives. Both received negative opinion at first meeting. However, the Vietnamese was older than I, more worldly, and a professional economist; so she won-over the naysayers quickly. The Filipina was much younger than I, shy, not nearly as worldly or well educated, and she was only a bookkeeper. Not only strangers, but friends and even some family, thought she was a bargirl. She won them over too, but it took its toll. Keep your pride and your head up.

Your honesty is refreshing.

[benalibina]

No not al Thai's will react the same.

- From a Thai woman's perspective, most are supportive of having a farang as a boy friend/husband. Most will agree a lot of Thai men are lazy, unemployed, abusive, and drunks. The biggest gripe a Thai woman will share about a Thai man is they are known to have multiple girlfriends/wife's (a sign of financial status - being able to afford multiple partners).

- From a Thai man's perspective, I would imagine they would not have a lot of good things to say about the women.

- From the Thai woman's mother/father, if they can extort money/possessions from the farang, they are happy. Otherwise, they probably want to dis-own their daughter.

- I imagine there are few family, relatives or friends that are truly happy for the Thai woman if she is truly happy.

For a not independant thai woman, mentally, thus being conditioned by ....family 1st, your post holds some ground...IMHO.

[Moonlover]

Certainly not by my wife's family. she has worked hard for many years after being dumped by her husband and left to provide for the kids on her own. She is now the family matriarch and is highly respected.

The whole village came together to facilitate our traditional wedding and it had nothing to do with embracing a rich farang! We're are actually of modest means ourselves and have to budget carefully.

But, that is only our particular circumstances. As has been mentioned elsewhere, it's a variable situation.

[CapeCobra]

A young Thai lady with an older man may be seen as a bar girl in Thailand or as a mail bride in the West. It depends on who is looking.

In my 25 years as a happy divorcé, all my girl friends in different countries were much younger. Young boys hated her, young girls envied her. Old girls hated me, old boys envied me. A simple formula.

[AYJAYDEE]

A young Thai lady with an older man may be seen as a bar girl in Thailand or as a mail bride in the West. It depends on who is looking.

In my 25 years as a happy divorcé, all my girl friends in different countries were much younger. Young boys hated her, young girls envied her. Old girls hated me, old boys envied me. A simple formula

I find it very interesting that you told us how everyone EXCEPT the girlfriends felt about you. .

[AYJAYDEE]

No not al Thai's will react the same.

- From a Thai woman's perspective, most are supportive of having a farang as a boy friend/husband. Most will agree a lot of Thai men are lazy, unemployed, abusive, and drunks. The biggest gripe a Thai woman will share about a Thai man is they are known to have multiple girlfriends/wife's (a sign of financial status - being able to afford multiple partners).

- From a Thai man's perspective, I would imagine they would not have a lot of good things to say about the women.

- From the Thai woman's mother/father, if they can extort money/possessions from the farang, they are happy. Otherwise, they probably want to dis-own their daughter.

- I imagine there are few family, relatives or friends that are truly happy for the Thai woman if she is truly happy.

1 outta 4 aint bad. hang in there buddy and you may come to learn something about thais.

[micmichd]

A young Thai lady with an older man may be seen as a bar girl in Thailand or as a mail bride in the West. It depends on who is looking.

In my 25 years as a happy divorcé, all my girl friends in different countries were much younger. Young boys hated her, young girls envied her. Old girls hated me, old boys envied me. A simple formula.

The same happened to me in Germany.

Even worse, my so-called "friends" tried *everything* to "save me from ruin" and keep me away from my Thai gf.

Her family and neighbours agreed that we should stay together.

[smileydude]

She will be looked down upon by those who are prejudiced, ignorant and have an inferiority complex to deal with.

She will be looked up to by family and relatives looking to dig gold.

Most important is how she holds herself. Integrity is something you have that no judgement in this world can take away.

[CapeCobra]

A young Thai lady with an older man may be seen as a bar girl in Thailand or as a mail bride in the West. It depends on who is looking.

In my 25 years as a happy divorcé, all my girl friends in different countries were much younger. Young boys hated her, young girls envied her. Old girls hated me, old boys envied me. A simple formula

I find it very interesting that you told us how everyone EXCEPT the girlfriends felt about you. .

They loved me. Of course. Probably. Maybe. I never asked.

[AYJAYDEE]

A young Thai lady with an older man may be seen as a bar girl in Thailand or as a mail bride in the West. It depends on who is looking.

In my 25 years as a happy divorcé, all my girl friends in different countries were much younger. Young boys hated her, young girls envied her. Old girls hated me, old boys envied me. A simple formula

I find it very interesting that you told us how everyone EXCEPT the girlfriends felt about you. .

They loved me. Of course. Probably. Maybe. I never asked.

fear will do that to a guy

[micmichd]

You don't need silly questions if you can let bodies talk.

[Berkshire]

There is a big age gap between my g/f and myself yet I often notice when we are out together Thai ladies of all ages will turn and give her a long look of envy.

This is hysterical. "....long look of envy." Are you sure about that?

[micmichd]

At least he doesn't have an inferiority complex.

[Berkshire]

At least he doesn't have an inferiority complex.

Is there a word for someone who thinks of himself a certain way, yet everyone else thinks of him completely different? Oh yea, "delusional."

[benalibina]

At least he doesn't have an inferiority complex.

Is there a word for someone who thinks of himself a certain way, yet everyone else thinks of him completely different? Oh yea, "delusional."