Job For An Aussie Being Advertised

[samran]

Pay is lousy, but it sounds interesting.

http://www.austembassy.or.th/bkok/V6.html

[bennyboy0102]

Pay is lousy, but it sounds interesting.

http://www.austembassy.or.th/bkok/V6.html

Whats lousy about that pay? Thats easily enough money to be able to live in Thailand!

[Chang_paarp]

I wonder if the "personel officer" realises that the pay rate is about 1/2 the official rate for a similar position. Pity it closed yesterday. Any idea whaen it was posted?

I wonder if the job is with DFAT or as a local contractor?

[Nignoy]

I wonder if the "personel officer" realises that the pay rate is about 1/2 the official rate for a similar position. Pity it closed yesterday. Any idea whaen it was posted?

I wonder if the job is with DFAT or as a local contractor?

but look at the perks of the job!5day weekends !! 100,s of bank holidays,more sickies than you can shake a stick at, and the pension funds, best ever!! Oh I love being australian Nignoy

[udon]

You were a Pommie yesterday

[khall64au]

Salary is how much???

[khall64au]

Pay is lousy, but it sounds interesting.

http://www.austembassy.or.th/bkok/V6.html

Whats lousy about that pay? Thats easily enough money to be able to live in Thailand!

Mate, that is lousy pay! It takes a university degree and many years of work experience to qualify for such a position. Why work for peanuts when elephants earn bananas?

[samran]

If intersted you could always try to see if they accept late applications.

Additionally, there is a Austrade job going. If you are a salesman, then it may be worth while looking at.

[steveromagnino]

If intersted you could always try to see if they accept late applications.

Additionally, there is a Austrade job going. If you are a salesman, then it may be worth while looking at.

While i am confident that the salary paid will end up being well invested in Fosters, VB and XXXX I can't help but feel there cannot be many Australians who can read, therefore shouldn't they advertise in a more suitable medium, perhaps using tatoos on the women at Soi Cowboy?

'We offer job you long time'

Yep, I think that is about the level of Aussie comprehension.

OK lads..bring on the sheep jokes.

[Chang_paarp]

While i am confident that the salary paid will end up being well invested in Fosters, VB and XXXX I can't help but feel there cannot be many Australians who can read, therefore shouldn't they advertise in a more suitable medium, perhaps using tatoos on the women at Soi Cowboy?

'We offer job you long time'

Yep, I think that is about the level of Aussie comprehension.

OK lads..bring on the sheep jokes.

Nah we will just make you drink Fosters and XXXX. Then point you in the direction of the nearest sheep farm for the relaxing night out.

[steveromagnino]

Seriously, would anyone with the experience to do this job actually work for 70k a month?! They could be earning at least double that in the private sector.

Oh, oops... forgot this an Aussie thread?

Oh Mate!? Wold any dum c&nt work 4 thees amount when they coud urn seex figurs somewear else?

70k, tell em ees dreamin.

[Papa_Lazarou]

Thats actually a very good salary by embassy standards in Bkk.

The British embassy was paying something like THB 30,000 for a consular role.

By the way, these posts invariably are offered to 'friends of friends' notwithstanding the public advert, which attracts tons of reponses

[samran]

Thats actually a very good salary by embassy standards in Bkk.

The British embassy was paying something like THB 30,000 for a consular role.

By the way, these posts invariably are offered to 'friends of friends' notwithstanding the public advert, which attracts tons of reponses

Admittely, they usually end up offering these roles to very well qualified partners of Australian diplomats who otherwise sit around for three years twiddling their thumbs.

However, you never know. Plenty of well qualified people about who are itching to do soemthing more than English teaching.

[Papa_Lazarou]

However, you never know. Plenty of well qualified people about who are itching to do soemthing more than English teaching.

I recall an English alkie in Berlitz who applied for a job in the UK embassy as some sort of assistant defence attache, ......qualifications: he'd been in the army ! (cor!)

He was upset when he didn't get an interview.

If embassies had a satang for every english teacher that sent them a resume.................................................(fill in gap)

[steveromagnino]

Admittely, they usually end up offering these roles to very well qualified partners of Australian diplomats who otherwise sit around for three years twiddling their thumbs.

What?!

You are telling me there are kangaroos that can read?!

In my own experience with another antipodean embassy/associated no hoper organisation affiliated with them a years ago, they specifically contacted me through a Thai friend knowing that I had citizenship, then upon discovering I spoke Thai and was in fact 1/2 Thai, the amount in salary dropped by 2/3, based on the fact I was now no longer an expat, and therefore would work for less.

Talk about Pali style, I think in the end they had to fly someone in and pay them lots to do the same job.

Just as well, I probably would have been cr&p at that job anyway; me not like suck up dem hiso embassee peopon.

[samran]

in fine form today stevo.

[Nignoy]

You were a Pommie yesterday

You got a point there mate but why settle for 3 pensions when you can get 4 guess I still get the urge to dust off my flat cap ,dig the ferret and lurcher out of the deep freeze, slurp a pint of warm greenalls, then I think Naaaa and sit down and wait for the urge to go away Nignoy

[steveromagnino]

in fine form today stevo.

Since you started the thread, and I know you have a keen sense of humour, I thought you'd appreciate a few little laughs.

How do you brighten up an Aussie's day?

Get him to take off his sunnies

True story:

God was talking to a few world leaders, and the subject came up, how did the english language develop so there were kingdoms, principalities and so forth.

First up, Queen E asks, 'one looks after one's kingdom, why does one get a kingdom?'

God replied, 'well since you normally have a King, I gave you poms a kingdom. Even though you are a Queen, and I know at least one of your sons may be a Prince, but he could be called a queen too, we still call it a Kingdom'

Queen E replies, 'thank you, one now knows doesn't one.'

Next up, Prince Albert from Monacco asks, ' how come I have a principality then mun? Is it 'cause I iz black?'

God replies, 'you aren't Ali G and you aren't black. You are however a prince and that's why you have a principality.'

Last up, short fat bloke John Howard bellows across the room with red nose from skulling too many bundys and cokes, 'oi mate. that's all well and good by ay wanna know how come all I gets ees a country, how come eet eesn't heavendom 'cause it is a leetle peece of heaven mate?'

God replies, 'first up, can you lay off my booze, I mean, seriously, every time it is your round you do the Aussie haka; you grab your chest, you slap your thighs in the front, then in the back, and say sorry mate, I forgot me wallet again, your shout.'

'The reason why you are a country, is because you, Meesta Howard, are a complete c*nt'

Thank you, I'll be in the lounge all week. Use this joke in the interview and you will probably get an extra 20k a month in beer money.

[Stefan Beck]

Jokes??

John Howard called Peter Costello into his office one day and said,

"Peter -I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the

country voters."

"Good idea PM, how will we go about it?" said Costello.

"Well," said Howard, "we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats,

some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh, and a Blue Cattle

dog.

Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback

country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush." "Right PM," said

Costello.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue heeler, they set

off from Canberra in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and

found atypical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

"G,day mate," said Howard, to the bartender, "two middies of your best

beer."

"Good afternoon Prime Minister," said the bartender, "two middies of our

best coming up".

Howard and Costello stood leaning on the bar drinking their

beerandchatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar

for adrink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a

grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the

Cattledog, lifted it's tail with the whip and looked underneath,shrugged

his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip.He

walked up to the dog, lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his

head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five stockman

came in, lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Howard and Costello could stand it no longer and called the

Barman over.

"Tell me," said Howard, "why did all those old stockmen come inand look

under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

Scroll down

John Howard called Peter Costello into his office one day and said,

"Peter -I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the

country voters."

"Good idea PM, how will we go about it?" said Costello.

"Well," said Howard, "we'll get ourselves one of those Driza Bone coats,

some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh, and a Blue Cattle

dog.

Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback

country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush." "Right PM," said

Costello.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue heeler, they set

off from Canberra in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and

found atypical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.

"G,day mate," said Howard, to the bartender, "two middies of your best

beer."

"Good afternoon Prime Minister," said the bartender, "two middies of our

best coming up".

Howard and Costello stood leaning on the bar drinking their

beerandchatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar

for adrink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a

grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the

Cattledog, lifted it's tail with the whip and looked underneath,shrugged

his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip.He

walked up to the dog, lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his

head and went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five stockman

came in, lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Howard and Costello could stand it no longer and called the

Barman over.

"Tell me," said Howard, "why did all those old stockmen come inand look

under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went and told

them that there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two <deleted>!"

By the way - I am an aussie!

[steveromagnino]

By the way - I am an aussie!

You manaaged to get online and write all of that and you are an Aussie?! Can't believe it!

A good Kiwi fulla is having a quiet drink in a Phuket bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Gidday mate, do you wanna hear an Aussie joke?

The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90 m tall, 160 kg and I played as a forward for the Brisee Broncos."

"The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex-Queensland copper."

"Next to him is a bloke who's 2 m tall, weighs 180 kg and he's a current Queensland reds second rower. Now do you still want to tell that Aussie joke?"

The Kiwi says, "Nah, if you c*nts are all Austrailan, then I am not sure if I can be bothered explaining the joke three times."

[steveromagnino]

Aussie family arrives in Auckland, and the kids are enrolled at school. (strange I know, but I don't know any good jokes about non working Kiwis living in Bondi) (well, not ones where Kiwis look any good in them)

Son's first day in high school at his new school and the father say's

"OK son what happened at school today"

"I topped the class at Math's today".

"Well son thats because your an Aussie, best little battler in the class"

Second day at school and the father say's

"what happened at school today"

"I topped class in English"

"Well son thats because your an Aussie, just like Don Bradman'

Third day at school and the father say's

"What happened at school today"

"We played mini Rugby and after the game we were in the shower's and I noticed that I had a bigger wasser than all the other boys. Is that because I am an Aussie Dad?"

"No son" the father replied "that's because your 27"

[steveromagnino]

Since the rugger is on tomorrow...

Rico Gear goes into the All Black changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but we've just beaten South Africa but let's be honest it's only Australia. They're crap and we can't be bothered".

Rico looks at them and says "Well, the way I've been playing recently,I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Rico goes out to play Australia by himself and the rest of the New Zealand team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the telly on.

A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "New Zealand 5 - Australia 0 (Rico Gear - 10 minutes - un converted Try)".

He is beating Australia all by himself! Anyway, the telly goes off and a Few more pints later the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how Rico got on". They put the telly back on.

"Result from the Stadium: New Zealand 5 (Rico 10 minutes) - Australia 5(Larkham 79 minutes)".

They can't believe it, RIco Gear has single handedly got a draw against Australia!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down." says Rico.

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Australia, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!" says the rest of the team.

"No, No, I have" says Rico, "I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"