Anybody who never had kids regret it ? I'm still on time but is having kids in Thailand a good idea?

[Lammbock]

Before you thinking of having Kids in Thailand think first if you can afford it.

If you want them to have a good education and not the crap they learn here.

[stickylies]

No kids, no burden, no regrets (sofar).
No urge whatsoever to be responsible for others.
Wanna go where I want when I want without having to think about "family".

[villagefarang]

Never wanted.

Never had.

No regrets.

[WitawatWatawit]

Funny thread, the question was if you NEVER had kids do you regret it (no) but almost all the replies are from old blokes who HAVE had them.

The question is completely illogical . It is impossible to regret what

you have never done. The far more logical thread title would in fact

have been do you regret having kids. Then from the responses,

men who have never had kids could make a valid decision as to

the validity of doing it. As to the anti kid posters, as one poster

noted, you must think your parents are really stupid...

Maybe not so illogical. The guys not on kid row are probably making a "valid decision" (huh) as you call it right now as they read this thread. Purpose achieved.

FTR, I'm on kid row. Zero regret.

[villagefarang]

Aren’t most people’s regrets about things they never got around to doing as apposed to things they did? You know, the whole missed opportunity thing. You shouldn’t need to have kids first before making a decision. At that point it is already too late.

I am very happy with my choices and have no regrets. If I had followed the herd I would have had a very different and I think less interesting life.

[pigeonjake]

What is sad to see over here is the 60 plus brigade who for some reason seem to think they have proved something by knocking up some 25 year old. Many of them living on minimal income/pension status and have to ride around on a 2nd hand 50cc, can't call it a bike, thing because they can't afford a decent car.

No thought given to how the kid is going to get a good education etc, no thought given to medical expenses in their short future.

I've never had any kids and never really thought about it. Was always too busy doing something else.

so whats your age limit to stop having kids???

That age would be different for many people, would also depend on financial and other circumstances, if you're fifty and loaded then it wouldn't be a problem.

The only fly in the ointment would be the danger of fathering a child with Downes syndrome, becomes more likely as you age.

My own thoughts are that by 45 you should not be thinking about having kids, just when you are thinking about retiral you would end up with university bills,etc etc.

Only my thoughts,what about you Jake ?

i love kids,

call me selfish or what ever, i allways wanted a big family,

i was adopted at 13 months old, wasnt very good upbringing,

i just wanted a big family to show the love that i never got, and thats what i do,

we arnt having anymore,

im 54 and little janet is 2y 5months,

im more then ok for money so that wont be a problem for schooling ect, ive got plans for a business for them that will be starting in the next couple of years so i can run with it first to get it off the ground and running, then the kids can take over,,lol

at the end of the day its each to there own,

i do agree in some ways that some should have them if there not in a very stable relationship,you have to think of the children what would happen if you wasnt there,

[bill1369]

Put me in the "shoulda worn a condom group".

[thehelmsman]

At 57 baby girl is 3 yrs. old. No surprise only a blessing. I'm thinking movie star perhaps.........

[nickmanchester2]

If I actually wanted one, it would have been in my home country rather than Thailand as it would be a bit unfair on my mum and dad to not be able to see it when they wanted - But I really don't want one, and never had also I have had a vasectomy a few years ago at 38- thats a pretty big no from me.

yeah yeah... i'm going to be missing out on soooo much boo hoo... at least i'll never have to share my house with a half thai man in 18 years - that could be a bit rough if he turns out to be a d**k

I met a guy in a bar last week with a half thai baby and he was not happy about it and didn't want anymore, also have a mate who says he has f***ed up his life by having one out here with his meth smoking gf (only found the pipe after baby was born)

no thanks.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Well, it's just money really. But not a lot. Kids are just something that happens. No need to even open this topic about them. If you don't feel like having some then by all means don't. Nobody really cares.

Kids can be kind of funny though. Can brighten the mood when you're at home, or you'd be stuck with the Mrs' mood all the time. And it gives her something to do, too.

I don't really see any negatives, other than that it costs a bit of money.

Edited February 2, 2015 by WinnieTheKhwai

[RickyJB]

i do have regrets , but as many other people , ive lived a life to the full, that has had no time for kids...when i moved to Thailand , i started to chill out a bit and decided maybe time to settle down , start a family... a couple of years ago i did start seeing a girl in Phuket, and she did have a child, but after many arguements and many bad things said to each other , and a greedy demand for some crazy amount of money, she disappeared with the child...ive seen him one time in the 1 year and 2 months since he was born...the kid is mine, but it feels like i dont have any kids...

The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place.

Don't you want to fight for your 'son' or 'daughter'??? You met your child's Mom in Phuket and she wanted loads of money! Didn't you think it would be irresponsible to have a child with this sort of woman??? The only way you can put this right is to find your 'son' or 'daughter' and ensure that they are being looked after. My guess is that she's sent them to stay with 'Yai' and she's back 'working' the Phuket. Your child will be raised a Thai but will be a second class citizen due to their foreign parentage. That's why you need to check that they are been raised in a safe environment...It's time to be brave and live up to your responsibilities...The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place.

"The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place." what an absolute stupid comment to make...why on earth would calling my son the kid mean i should not have children... As for the rest of the story, dont make assumptions when you have absolutely no idea the full story....or what kind of person i am..

Ive been to lawyers, tried to get information from police, even went underground to have someone find her or get information about her where abouts.( with absolutely no help) ..i also heard she had gone back to an old Thai boyfriend , who is apparently a bit of a gangster... when i eventually had a breakthrough and demanded to see my kid , i was then sent death threats by members of her family, was told i would have my head cut off, people would be waiting at the airport for me, be looking for me..... She had changed her address, phone number, stopped work, cancelled everything from facebook to skype, Line the lot...I was warned about her before we met, but i didnt take heed, and yes, the pregnancy was a mistake but i was happy enough as i didnt have any children... After a few months of the baby being born, i did manage to get a number, and talked to her, we were even quite civil to each other and we met and i saw him for the first time, what an amazing feeling, and at a short time we struck up a good bond, even me and the ex were talking better and things were looking up..Then out of the blue, no connection, my calls , messages were being ignored, and then i got hit with, " If you not pay me ********* baht then you never see your son again... what she asked for was an absolute ridiculous amount , im not skint, but this shocked me.... when i refused, all contact was broken again....in the last 4 months nothing... had 1 text from a number that is now out of service, saying , that her boyfriend says, YOU FARANG WANT SEE BABY CAN PAY...we eventually agreed on what i would pay every month, she gave me bank details , then another message saying ALSO PAY ******** (QUITE A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND BAHT) to have the right s to see him or you never see him again... .. I had to go away for a few months because of work, and in that time , i had a message from a fake named account saying , you come collect your son now, bring money , you keep, never want to see you again...... I explained where i was, then that was it... no idea where she is now ...

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Whatever.

Assuming you are not a THAI. Their future doesnt look that great.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

i do have regrets , but as many other people , ive lived a life to the full, that has had no time for kids...when i moved to Thailand , i started to chill out a bit and decided maybe time to settle down , start a family... a couple of years ago i did start seeing a girl in Phuket, and she did have a child, but after many arguements and many bad things said to each other , and a greedy demand for some crazy amount of money, she disappeared with the child...ive seen him one time in the 1 year and 2 months since he was born...the kid is mine, but it feels like i dont have any kids...

The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place.

Don't you want to fight for your 'son' or 'daughter'??? You met your child's Mom in Phuket and she wanted loads of money! Didn't you think it would be irresponsible to have a child with this sort of woman??? The only way you can put this right is to find your 'son' or 'daughter' and ensure that they are being looked after. My guess is that she's sent them to stay with 'Yai' and she's back 'working' the Phuket. Your child will be raised a Thai but will be a second class citizen due to their foreign parentage. That's why you need to check that they are been raised in a safe environment...It's time to be brave and live up to your responsibilities...The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place.

"The fact that you refer to your child as 'the kid' highlights why some people should not have children in the first place." what an absolute stupid comment to make...why on earth would calling my son the kid mean i should not have children... As for the rest of the story, dont make assumptions when you have absolutely no idea the full story....or what kind of person i am..

Ive been to lawyers, tried to get information from police, even went underground to have someone find her or get information about her where abouts.( with absolutely no help) ..i also heard she had gone back to an old Thai boyfriend , who is apparently a bit of a gangster... when i eventually had a breakthrough and demanded to see my kid , i was then sent death threats by members of her family, was told i would have my head cut off, people would be waiting at the airport for me, be looking for me..... She had changed her address, phone number, stopped work, cancelled everything from facebook to skype, Line the lot...I was warned about her before we met, but i didnt take heed, and yes, the pregnancy was a mistake but i was happy enough as i didnt have any children... After a few months of the baby being born, i did manage to get a number, and talked to her, we were even quite civil to each other and we met and i saw him for the first time, what an amazing feeling, and at a short time we struck up a good bond, even me and the ex were talking better and things were looking up..Then out of the blue, no connection, my calls , messages were being ignored, and then i got hit with, " If you not pay me ********* baht then you never see your son again... what she asked for was an absolute ridiculous amount , im not skint, but this shocked me.... when i refused, all contact was broken again....in the last 4 months nothing... had 1 text from a number that is now out of service, saying , that her boyfriend says, YOU FARANG WANT SEE BABY CAN PAY...we eventually agreed on what i would pay every month, she gave me bank details , then another message saying ALSO PAY ******** (QUITE A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND BAHT) to have the right s to see him or you never see him again... .. I had to go away for a few months because of work, and in that time , i had a message from a fake named account saying , you come collect your son now, bring money , you keep, never want to see you again...... I explained where i was, then that was it... no idea where she is now ...

What the bee-je.s-us is this? Comedy..lol. If its real .....oh well!

[Rajhulmaheesh]

What is sad to see over here is the 60 plus brigade who for some reason seem to think they have proved something by knocking up some 25 year old. Many of them living on minimal income/pension status and have to ride around on a 2nd hand 50cc, can't call it a bike, thing because they can't afford a decent car.

No thought given to how the kid is going to get a good education etc, no thought given to medical expenses in their short future.

I've never had any kids and never really thought about it. Was always too busy doing something else.

A 60 old geezeer bhave baby with 25 yr old. Ill telll what is going to happen if they have a girl. Girl gonna follow in mommy's footsteps. And the cycle lives on! and on! and on!

PS. Good 25 year old girls dont marry old grunt 60+. You can take that to the bank.

Edited February 2, 2015 by Rajhulmaheesh

[spidermike007]

Having children is a noble thing to do with ones life, if you are really feeling it. Otherwise, be your own man, and just say no. It is perfectly cool to not go that route. Having kids is a life of convention, and it is expected of everybody. Nothing wrong with it. But, in my case not having kids was the single smartest decision I have made in this lifetime. The world does not need our kids. The population is exploding, and not having kids is actually a graceful act, for the planet. So, no regrets here.

[Rajhulmaheesh]

Actually a lot of countrys arent reproducing enough. Its the screwed up countries that are exploding in babies though. The smarter one gets the less kids they tend to have.

[Nayet]

Its wonderful to see some people ending their gene pool for the betterment of human kind.

Yeah, though we would be better off if it were the stupid/poor/uneducated who chose not to procreate.

[balo]

Adopt a thai family if you really want kids. Anyone over 50 shouldn't really try to become a dad.

[Nayet]

I am turning 42 soon and have very little desire to become a parent. Regretting not having had children at a certain age doesn't necessarily mean it would have been a good idea at the time. Procreating out of fear of regret when one doesn't even know one will ever feel regret seems like a horrible idea.

[overherebc]

I could have gone either way and I fully expected to marry and have kids. But the military and my contract jobs and some horrible financial times put the kibosh on that. There is a good chance that had I had kids, I would have done things differently, but I really don't see how I could have made the money I have made and helped the people I have helped if I had settled down. the idea of the same house, in the same place, with my hobby space and garage for my project car sounds nice. Playing catch with the kids, taking them to the pool etc. All stuff I grew up with. But I don't think I regret it. I don't mind kids. I have several nephews and nieces and godchildren too. 57 now so no plans to start any family even though I could. I don't see enough plusses in knocking myself and I will admit to being a bit selfish and wanting to avoid the turmoil, heartbreak, struggles of a divorce, custody battles, god forbid severely handicapped or congenital illness children, etc. I don't have the energy or resources to pour into that

I know one guy out here who at 58 got married and within 6 months was so proud his wife, 35, was pregnant. It turned out to be a complete heartbreak for both as the child was born with all sorts of health problems, heart defects and circulation defects. So sad when the child died at around six months. The marraige broke up and they both became very different and sad people after that.

[krisb]

Whatever.

Assuming you are not a THAI. Their future doesnt look that great.

But who really knows?

Anything's possible.

[advancebooking]

Whilst I happy for those who have children and have and still enjoy the experience, I would like to redress the balance. I have never regretted not having children. In fact I am happy being an uncle and God father etc. Having my own, has never been a priority. I believe some people should not be parents and feel sorry for those that should and can't have children. The world is overly populated, so having children should be a very careful decision, as I firmly believe that having children, you should give 100% towards their development for the rest of their lives.

So the answer is no regrets at all.

no regrets from 'laughing gravy' because he has no idea what he's missing out on. ha ha

[Nayet]

Whilst I happy for those who have children and have and still enjoy the experience, I would like to redress the balance. I have never regretted not having children. In fact I am happy being an uncle and God father etc. Having my own, has never been a priority. I believe some people should not be parents and feel sorry for those that should and can't have children. The world is overly populated, so having children should be a very careful decision, as I firmly believe that having children, you should give 100% towards their development for the rest of their lives.

So the answer is no regrets at all.

no regrets from 'laughing gravy' because he has no idea what he's missing out on. ha ha

Right, because everyone loves to be a parent. Just ask all those absent fathers (there's got to be a few million in Thailand) who apparently are very excited about their parenthood.

[pigeonjake]

What is sad to see over here is the 60 plus brigade who for some reason seem to think they have proved something by knocking up some 25 year old. Many of them living on minimal income/pension status and have to ride around on a 2nd hand 50cc, can't call it a bike, thing because they can't afford a decent car.

No thought given to how the kid is going to get a good education etc, no thought given to medical expenses in their short future.

I've never had any kids and never really thought about it. Was always too busy doing something else.

A 60 old geezeer bhave baby with 25 yr old. Ill telll what is going to happen if they have a girl. Girl gonna follow in mommy's footsteps. And the cycle lives on! and on! and on!

PS. Good 25 year old girls dont marry old grunt 60+. You can take that to the bank.

words of another thai expert,,,,,,,

[SiSePuede419]

"Arent most peoples regrets about things they never got around to doing as apposed to things they did?"

According to one survey of terminally I'll patients at a hospice iñ the UK, the number one regret was not spending more time with their families, instead of working so much.

Of course, according to the family guys I know, the reason they are working so much is to support their families, 555.

Most of the lazy bums I know have no families, but they're so deluded and clueless, it's hard to believe they would be self-aware enough to have "regrets"....

[SiSePuede419]

Adopt a thai family if you really want kids. Anyone over 50 shouldn't really try to become a dad.

Half of all people have IQ's lower than average. Many of those people have kids in their 20's. Having kids when you're young doesn't make the parents smarter.

Older parents only increase the risk of certain genetic birth defects. From 1 in 300 to 1 in 60. That's not a certainty. Remember, those 1 in 300 happen to young parents.

Grow up.

[sean in udon]

Its wonderful to see some people ending their gene pool for the betterment of human kind.

Spoken by a guy that glorifies Satan... Well done...

I've been to a night club in Pattaya called lucifer. Several times.

They didn't glorify lucifer, although I was drunk, so maybe they did.

Perhaps this lucifer is affiliated with the club. Seems perfectly innocent to me.

Back on topic, happy for my genes to end with me. Not sure it's for the betterment of human kind, but I am sure there's a few people out there that would agree it is.

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Not having kids is not fully participating in the full life experience

having kids in Thailand to me would be a grave mistake

all the single girls with kids had no idea what they were doing when they were full of hormones and believing in love

how many of them don't even see their children leaving them with grandparents to go work somewhere else just to survive to pay for the kids clothes and to go to school does anyone really think that makes any sense

[Langsuan Man]

I regret it NOT, when I see the way the grown up children of my friends basically ignore their parents

All the money I would have spend on feeding, clothing, educating ungrateful children now goes to my retirement fund and I can use that money to pay for my future care

This thread reminds me of the famous Harry Chapin song:

"Cat's In The Cradle"

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then

[fey]

I lived the wild single life until I was 56. Never planned on having a child, and since

I clearly did not know what life would be like with a child, never had a burning

desire to have one. But one thing led to another, and I now have a 4 year old

half Thai daughter here. Which has been hands down the most interesting

experience of my life. Some days after a screaming meltdown because I did

not wait for her to open the door first, I questioned my sanity in having a child.

Other days , when she jumps in my arms, gives me a big hug, and tells me she

loves me, is one of the best moments of life. There is humor as well. When the

sun was peeking behind some clouds, she gets a serious look on her face

and asks me why the sun is broken....

So if you have never had a child, easy to sort of look down on those with children

as some sort of losers who no longer enjoy the good single life. But you will meet

very few if any parents with grown children, who would say they regretted having a

child. For older fathers, I call it the last great experiment in life... :-)

keep them safe from your friends