Mixed Race Kids

[baitoey]

Hi

How do your kids feel about being mixed race? My daughter says kids where we live make fun of her Thai and she doesn't like people commenting when we are out. It is starting to affect her self-esteem. She says people hate her and she wants to be English not Thai-English. She is 7.

I have always tried to make her feel proud of her identity.

What are your experiences? How do you deal with it?

[GuestHouse]

I've never found my mixed race a problem, something to be proud of I thought.

Teach her about both sides of her background, things to be proud of (no shortage there for half British).

Also teach her about ignorance and how it handicaps the ignorant.

If she's being picked on at school, take it up with the headmaster.

[backflip]

That's right! Teach her that people make inappropriate comments out of ignorance and weakness, not intelligence and strength.

[kat]

hmmm, these are good and tried statements, but little consolation for a kid that feels like an outsider. I'm also mixed-race and adopted, but I look white, so do I not resemble the majority of the people who are my family, both adopted and biological.

Kids can be really mean, and entire societies can be ignorant if you don't fit into a ready-made slot. Sometimes it's not as easy as saying everyone else is ignorant, but more like your daughter is someone who will have to teach, whether she likes it or not. She will find her way, and reach her own conclusions based on her own experiences, believe me. Let's hope that she remains strong enough to maintain her own identity and belief in herself.

And there you go: Tell her everyone has a different challenge in life, and her challange is to be an observer and thinker of two completely different worlds. It's both a privilege and a pain. Tell her those kids may laugh at her now, but because of her unique position, she is able to see three sides - her own, theirs, and the English side. These things will give her a thoughtful, unique perspective, and a strong character if she is able to keep believing in herself and not feel sad when others with less of a perspective make fun of her.

Edited August 21, 2006 by kat

[baitoey]

Thanks for your comments.

[Alreadyinuse]

Not an easy subject. There is a lot going on that is not displayed in public and the true amount of children getting bullied is most likely higher than we can imagine. I am just following the normal way of living around our house, even if I dont see exactly what going on I can sense whats happening. I have even caught my son at times. Its a rough world.

My daughter and son are both in school at the ages 3 and 7 and they attend Darasamut School in Phuket. I might be very lucky but in both cases my children have no problem with the other kids. In regards to my son he is one of the popular guys. When it come to my daughter she is doing real good and is accepted by all.

I think however that the age is of importance and at the age of 3 the problems are minor however they increase at the age of 7, where the ugly comes out. Question is if your daughter have been to the school for a long time and therefore have her friends (trust they exist) there and maybe she even prefer to stay put?

Otherwise have a look around and determine what school would be a good substitute. Hope you find one and that your daughter will be getting a smoother ride in the future.

Edited August 21, 2006 by Alreadyinuse

[lamphun]

Hi

How do your kids feel about being mixed race? My daughter says kids where we live make fun of her Thai and she doesn't like people commenting when we are out. It is starting to affect her self-esteem. She says people hate her and she wants to be English not Thai-English. She is 7.

I have always tried to make her feel proud of her identity.

What are your experiences? How do you deal with it?

You don't say where you're living and I think most people assume you're in Thailand. However from the problems you describe it sounds more like the UK. Cancel that just read the comment about Thai language. This seems a bit unusual you might consider moving schools.

Edited August 21, 2006 by lamphun

[sbk]

Hi

How do your kids feel about being mixed race? My daughter says kids where we live make fun of her Thai and she doesn't like people commenting when we are out. It is starting to affect her self-esteem. She says people hate her and she wants to be English not Thai-English. She is 7.

I have always tried to make her feel proud of her identity.

What are your experiences? How do you deal with it?

You don't say where you're living and I think most people assume you're in Thailand. However from the problems you describe it sounds more like the UK. Cancel that just read the comment about Thai language. This seems a bit unusual you might consider moving schools.

OP is in Thailand. And kids can be cruel, even Thai kids. Just seems to be the nature of the beast. Maybe its some developmental step kids must take.

I read an interesting story about Winona Ryder (not necessarily a luk kreung issue but pertains to childhood bullying) that made me smile. She was picked on in school and even beaten up in the locker room one day by some of the "in" girls at her school. Years later one of these women approached her for an autograph and Winona said, "remember that girl you beat up in the locker room? Well that was me f*** off"

Anyway, I know it doesn't help much, but I did like that story

[lamphun]

Hi

How do your kids feel about being mixed race? My daughter says kids where we live make fun of her Thai and she doesn't like people commenting when we are out. It is starting to affect her self-esteem. She says people hate her and she wants to be English not Thai-English. She is 7.

I have always tried to make her feel proud of her identity.

What are your experiences? How do you deal with it?

You don't say where you're living and I think most people assume you're in Thailand. However from the problems you describe it sounds more like the UK. Cancel that just read the comment about Thai language. This seems a bit unusual you might consider moving schools.

OP is in Thailand. And kids can be cruel, even Thai kids. Just seems to be the nature of the beast. Maybe its some developmental step kids must take.

I read an interesting story about Winona Ryder (not necessarily a luk kreung issue but pertains to childhood bullying) that made me smile. She was picked on in school and even beaten up in the locker room one day by some of the "in" girls at her school. Years later one of these women approached her for an autograph and Winona said, "remember that girl you beat up in the locker room? Well that was me f*** off"

Anyway, I know it doesn't help much, but I did like that story

This may explain the shoplifting.

[Oleg_Rus]

Good subject.

I heard about some sort of racism in International school., my friend had to take his son from another schools - he drove CRV, while other kids came on BMW and Benzes. Expensive toys, cheaper toys, lunch boxes - no kids cannot be cruel per se, but they quickly absorb what they heard home and in the 'hood.

I don't think teachers do anything about it, in fact democracy doesn't go that far here...

[baitoey]

We live in Thailand.

My daughter goes to International school and it is not a problem there. She feels happy in her environment as there are a lot of other kids like her. The kids are aware of different cultures, religions etc. and the teachers don't tolerate racism. (It doesn't mean they can eradicate it though, or be there all the time to hear every comment - kids can be cruel - and a lot of racism comes from family beliefs and upbringing).

She is also fine with the one-up-manship here re: having lots of stuff, big car, house etc. She knows it's not important and doesn't make you a nice person.

But comments about her language and not being Thai upset her. This comes more from kids on the estate where we live. However, she is tough and doesn't let it stop her from doing what she wants.

Again thanks for the comments. It is good for me to get it into perspective too so I can help her deal with it.

[Thaiboxer]

Sorry to hear about your daughter's dilemma. I've always thought that "luuk krueng" kids are very popular here and from what I've seen, the local kids seem to warm up to them. I've taught both elementary and high school and the mixed race kids I encountered seemed to get on just fine...none of this bullying so typical in the West. I think mixed kids have such a great opportunity to get the best of both worlds. Those kids in your neighborhood who give her a hard time may someday regret it. Give your daughter lots of support and she should be just fine.

[leftcross]

my son is being born in november and i assumed it would be easier for him to be accepted in thailand than the UK.

kids will always take the piss out of other kids whether they are lighter, darker, fatter, thinner etc.

i'm going to rig up a punch bag and get him some mitts as soon as he's big enough to he can take care of himself.