Serious And Disturbing Email

[Tippaporn]

An easy way to track emails, is with a program called read notify. This program tells you when the mail was opened how may times, who it was forwarded to and where it is being read and for how long.

I would write to the emailer using read notify and then you will at least see if someone is reading the mails that you send and where they are. I would also suggest tracking the ip address, if you know te address already, then put it into his program and it will tell you where it is

http://www.geobytes.com/IpLocator.htm

I know this may sound a bit sneaky, but it is best to be prepared, and like others have said, just pay a surprise visit. Turn up a week early, on a late flight so you arrive late at night then if something is going on then you will catch them at it.

At the end of the day mate, imho this is a sick windup by some prick that wants to do you harm. I had a similar situation when my wife was still in Thailand and i was in the uk sorting out visa paperwork. I was told my wife was with her ex while i wasnt there. I almost recked our relationship, but luckily i had a friend out there who discreetly checked out what was going on. As it turned out this person was emailing me telling me she was out partying with her ex when my friend knew she was at home with his wife.

I hope it all works out mate, and dont jump in too early with both feet, test the water first, if theres anything i can do, i am just a pm away

Thanks, mate. How soon before you can hop a plane and scope it out for me? I know you'd love a good excuse to come back anyway. Sorry, but with some posters it's hard not to make light. Thanks and cheers, Dale. Of course, if you were to show up at the condo, Dale, I can imagine the kids crying, "Look, muumy, there's a giant monster outside." I'm afraid you'd be the antithesis to 'discreet.'

I'll check out the site, though. Sounds like you've had a near identical situation. I think it will eventually come to resorting to some sort of 3rd eye. I'm still hoping I won't need to resort to it.

Edited August 22, 2006 by Tippaporn

[Clip_My_Wings]

I have been playing with the IP locators and they only give rough guides to location.

Two emails from my brothers in Canada only gave the province and city.

My own IP address is stated as the county i'm in not even the town.

Thanks, Chippie. I guess that doesn't bode well for nailing down anything conclusive. If I could verify that my computer was used then I could certainly narrow down the suspects. Someone else mentioned about installing a keylogger, or perhaps accessing the computer to see what activity conincided with the time the emails were sent. Both of those options are beyond me, though. The last would require not only an acquaintance but one with enough computer saavy, too. I, myself, wouldn't know how to go about checking your computer for particular activity.

checking internet history would show if the website (yahoo was it?) was acessed on the paticular day you rc'd the email.

not sure how long the history goes back on a deault history tracker (my computer at work is one week) but sometimes it could be setup for longer, meaning you could check when you return

[Lacoste]

Maybe wrong but i think the default setting on windows is 20 days.

[Tippaporn]

I have been playing with the IP locators and they only give rough guides to location.

Two emails from my brothers in Canada only gave the province and city.

My own IP address is stated as the county i'm in not even the town.

Thanks, Chippie. I guess that doesn't bode well for nailing down anything conclusive. If I could verify that my computer was used then I could certainly narrow down the suspects. Someone else mentioned about installing a keylogger, or perhaps accessing the computer to see what activity conincided with the time the emails were sent. Both of those options are beyond me, though. The last would require not only an acquaintance but one with enough computer saavy, too. I, myself, wouldn't know how to go about checking your computer for particular activity.

checking internet history would show if the website (yahoo was it?) was acessed on the paticular day you rc'd the email.

not sure how long the history goes back on a deault history tracker (my computer at work is one week) but sometimes it could be setup for longer, meaning you could check when you return

Mine is set to 'zero.'

[Lacoste]

regardless you can still check by going through the list of cookies.

[Clip_My_Wings]

have you tried searching the user in yahoo members

http://members.yahoo.com/interests?

might give you some more information , i.e at least when the account was created. if its just recently may suggest the person has created specifically to send to you.

who knows if the sender has been foolish you may even get a picture

just trioed myself but amn security firewalls at work prvented access .. god there even stopping the soft porn nowadays!!!

[SamuiJens]

How did you meet here?( through the internet?) And as I see on your profil, your e-mail is there(not visable), and threw all your posts, you must of had an e-mail or more? And posting publicly with this story, is not (IMHO) the best way,since she MUST know you use this forum. Lots of things that that don't add up.

Why not have a trusted friend check up on her? Or a friend from this site, since, if Im not mistaken you have friends you've meet here before ?!

Good Luck

Edited August 22, 2006 by SamuiJens

[chippie]

Also you can access yahoo's log on page and insert each keyboard letter one by one, deleting each time and if any other name has been entered it will drop down.

[Patex]

Hello Tippaporn!

Never open an E-mail from an unknown sender, never believe anonymous accusations!

Who are you, that you are going to make weighty decisions only bec someone is pissing in your mailbox???????

Keep cool, Patex

[Tippaporn]

regardless you can still check by going through the list of cookies.

Excellent point, Lacoste. That I can do when I get back. I've never read cookies, so can you suggest how and what information cookies can convey?

[pattayacondo]

Follow the money - why would someone send you this mail, what are their motive?

Sounds most like someone jaloux, possible someone who would like to move in with your wife, trying to get you out of the way.

[jing jing]

Hi Tip,

First of all, sorry to hear about your predicament. We've never met but from reading your posts I get the feeling you're a real good fellow -- definitely not deserving of the sturm und drang going on at the moment.

At times like this it can be difficult to approach things from a purely logical point of view. Nevertheless I am wondering why you have this aversion to the idea of employing a private investigator. I mean, it's one thing to spy on your woman when there has been no reason whatsoever to suspect any wrongdoing, but ferchrissakes, you've just gotten the mother of all wake up calls over here and the next best thing to (or maybe even a better thing than) showing up yourself unannounced or having a close buddy check things out for you is hiring a pro to do the job properly and eliminate all doubt once and for all.

You've indicated that your plans for the future revolve around this individual and you've already made what sounds like a substantial investment, both emotional and financial, in the relationship... in my opinion it's a no-brainer that at this point there's really no better alternative than hiring a private eye and getting the truth ASAP.

When all is said and done, if it turns out to be a hoax but your wife learns you hired a PI to check her out, certainly after she sees the emails she'll understand why you had to do what you did.

Serious stuff, man... I sure hope you get to the bottom of this mystery and she comes up clean. Cheers Tip, and I wish you all the best.

Thanks, jing jing. Since it hasn't been 24 hours since I received the emails and since deciding to post my predicament on TV for advice I've still much to digest before I make any concrete plans on what my next step will be. I will call her first, though I'm not sure what I'll say yet, to see if there's anything unusual that I can ascertain from a phone conversation.

I'll give a little time to allow the sender of the emails to respond to my enquiries. If there's no progress or new developments then I tend to lean towards a PI or some of the offered help I've recieved via PMs. I'm also still waiting to see whether or not an IP trace can yield any results that might help me determine further the identity of the sender.

Once more, my heartfelt gratitude goes out to all you folks who've bothered to reply on this thread and via PMs and expressed your concern and/or offered assistance.

Sounds like a prudent course of action although I doubt there's anything you can learn through a phone conversation without arousing her suspicions, especially since you can't be too subtle in your probing due to her limited English.

If this story is true - and based on the information you've shared so far I wouldn't hazard a guess either way - time may not be on your side. At the very least you could begin to gather some information on prospective PI outfits, posthaste.

[oilysang]

I have been playing with the IP locators and they only give rough guides to location.

Two emails from my brothers in Canada only gave the province and city.

My own IP address is stated as the county i'm in not even the town.

Where can i get the details of ip address ?

[Nawtilus]

What line of work does or did she do. What did she do when or before you met her. What do her friends do also that she mixes with mostly.

What is the longest period in a row that you have spent with her living here in Los.

If you make a flying visit here, you have only one chance to catch her at it as you walk in through the door. A very small window of opportunity.

If you hire a private dick, they can arrange several ways to observe and detect what is going on and it may cost you less than the airfare to come here and miss out yourself.

[Cigarette Burn]

I would hire a PI, there is a very good chance she is messing about with another man, maybe even married.

Then again there is a chance she is faithful and this is a wind up, it appears from the post that most people are saying the person who sent the e-mail is the one doing wrong, If i were you i would prepare myself for the fate that the person who sent you the e-mail is infact trying to help you out.

Good luck.

CB

[Nawtilus]

Also....

'now you car[pic up[ had accident sent to repair at cash repair

now she go to live with husband sometime she carry him live

at you condo'

this little comment, it says she go live with husband sometime......and then she take him to stay at your place.

Does she have a mobile phone, how often do you call her, does she go out a lot at night time, if not how do you know. Do you call her at various times and at night and you cannot contact her ? or is she there every time.

Dont forget a PI will ask around a lot, does your condo have a security guard, he will be asking him, give him a few baht for info or to keep an eye out for info etc.

Also having read many many tg emails, this does sound real, many of the made up tinglish ones you can pick, this one has that genuine feel to it. But then again could be just very good at it. But nobody is asking for anything, they are just telling you shit, at this stage anyway.

Even reply to the email saying that you are upset about all this and that you and her have been having problems and to find out that someone else really cares about you would be nice and maybe we could hook up over breakfast etc etc just joshin.....but maybe not.

[jing jing]

After rereading the emails they really don't ring true based on the other background info you've shared, Tip. The question remains -- who would write them and why? Obviously whoever it is wants you to believe them and act upon them. I'm thinking, from a psychological point of view, it might be advantageous to respond to the effect that you don't believe them, trust your wife completely, and will not do anything at all based on anonymous emails. This may have the effect of prompting them to provide more information as proof of their veracity.

Just a thought...

[Nawtilus]

huh...thats logic lost on a thai.

Offer them money for hard evidence, that will surely get you the proof if it is there.

[SamuiJens]

The best idea is to let him read through all posts, all than could have been said has been. He's a grown man, let him-YOU TIP-take it from here.

[Thaddeus]

huh...thats logic lost on a thai.

Offer them money for hard evidence, that will surely get you the proof if it is there.

That would work on a Nigerian spammer, not too sure if it would work in this instance.

[Tippaporn]

There is one other angle to all of this which has potential validity and might not be off the wall in terms of serving as explanation.

The email specifically mentions a Thai policeman. If it's a windup then why make the fictitious lover out to be a cop? Possibly to scare me off? That would be highly doubtable as I've invested too much to simply take a hike and never return.

So here's something that I hadn't mentioned. We have a 19 year old girl, whom I'll call Aw, staying with us since '02. My wife had met her just previous to meeting me and Aw, then 14 or 15, used to take care of my wife's then 1-2 year old son. My wife then befriended this Aw's mother, also Isaan, and to this day they remain fairly close friends.

Back in '04 Aw's brother, whom I'll call Oad, joined the Royal Thai Police Academy at the time they were heavily recruiting to beef up security in Southern Thailand. He graduated in July of that year and after the ceremony, which we attended, my wife and I along with the family and a few of Oad's police friends went out for dinner before retreating to our condo for a party.

Now, Oad was killed in the line of duty in March of '05. My wife accompanied her friend and Oad's mother to Southern Thailand to reclaim the body and fly with it to Oad's home village. I went up for the funeral myself.

Since that time we had been visited by several policeman friends; I believe twice while I was still in Thailand last summer. Now why they came round I can't recall. It certainly wasn't to visit me. Neither my wife or myself had close relations with them, at least not to the degree of calling each other regularly.

Given this, and the fact that the email mentioned specifically a Thai policeman, then it's quite conceivable that the emails are true on two of three counts; yes, the car was in a wreck of sorts, yes, there is a Thai policeman that has been coming around often - and with whom she has now struck up a relationship - and no, my wife is not into money and that is simply an interpretation of motive on the part of the observer.

Could it be that one of the policeman that had come to visit has taken a liking to my wife and has been making the rounds with her. And she, perhaps due to my absence, and while not necessarily seeking out another relationship, has found herself to be attracted to him likewise? It's not unusual for people to fall in love two people at the same time, while never intending to seek out that triangle in the first place.

This would make perfect sense, be highly plausible, and explain the emails as someone close to me disguising themselves so as not to alert attention to themselves. After all, Aw still lives in the condo. She loves me like a father. And I believe she would be very much upset with my wife were she to involve herself with another man while I'm still in the picture.

I think my heart just sank at this prospect. I would most definitely need the services of a 3rd eye to sort this possibility out.

[tourleadersi]

I'm inclined to agree Tip. It appears that you might be beginning to tear yourself apart over all the different possibilities. Getting a PI involved might well serve to put your mind at ease. Perhaps the police man was calling around regarding the car? If he new the deceased brother then he may feel an obligation to look in on your wife once in a while whilst you are away. You made the effort to attend the funeral, perhaps this guy is making the effort to make sure your wife is ok with no funny business going on? The fact is that it is just as plausable as anything else, so maybe get someone to check it out and spare yourself the anguish.

[Tippaporn]

I'm inclined to agree Tip. It appears that you might be beginning to tear yourself apart over all the different possibilities. Getting a PI involved might well serve to put your mind at ease. Perhaps the police man was calling around regarding the car? If he new the deceased brother then he may feel an obligation to look in on your wife once in a while whilst you are away. You made the effort to attend the funeral, perhaps this guy is making the effort to make sure your wife is ok with no funny business going on? The fact is that it is just as plausable as anything else, so maybe get someone to check it out and spare yourself the anguish.

Yes, I've been quite a mess the past 24 hours. I should give myself a break and trust in Providence that all will work out for the best in the long run. Thanks for that.

[chippie]

Why not phone Aw then?

[Tippaporn]

Why not phone Aw then?

Yes, but what to say? What specific questions could I ask that might draw out information from her? For some reason my brain can't seem to go there. Could use some help with that one. Including what I might ask of my wife.

[chippie]

Why not phone Aw then?

Yes, but what to say? What specific questions could I ask that might draw out information from her? For some reason my brain can't seem to go there. Could use some help with that one. Including what I might ask of my wife.

Simply ask if she has sent you an email, no need for any elaboration. Maybe just say you've recieved an email from the pc in your condo and you need to know who sent it.

[Lacoste]

Simply ask if she has sent you an email, no need for any elaboration. Maybe just say you've recieved an email from the pc in your condo and you need to know who sent it.

Well he does not know for sure the e-mail was sent from the computer at his condo, there is also the small matter of protecting the girl.

[Insight]

Hey Tip, here's my take....

It's clear that sender (a), responsible for both :

(my name)

(my wife's name) she have husband [he is police man] she use you money with him

pelase keep your money for you son & family they to lie you don't love they love

you money

and

now you car[pic up[ had accident sent to repair at cash repair

now she go to live with husband sometime she carry him live

at you condo

And sender (b ), responsible for :

Your email is very upsetting to me. If I may ask, who are you and how do you know this?

.. are either clearly from two different people or the same person playing one great big hoax.

Look at the typo in the first email; the open square bracket is right next to the 'P'. Somebody making such a mistake like that and not correcting it must find computers pretty intimidating.

The second email by the suspected real “Steven Narome” shows a much better command of English – thus identifying two different people. I doubt your average computer-illiterate Thai would guess a name like Steven Narome, never mind the entire Yahoo email address. The two people either know each other, or both they are the same people.

I’m guessing both replies came back in a space of 24 hours, meaning this Steven Narome is pretty active online.

Yahoo web mail (which I’m guessing sender (a) was using) automatically saves all sent messages by default. Is it possible sender (b ) could confirm the original email is in his “Sent” folder?

If he does confirm this, it means he didn’t send the original email. There’s a very good chance he could hazard a guess which person did however.

If he doesn’t, for whatever reason, I’d suggest that person is playing a prank.

/Edit: Removing these smileys

Edited August 22, 2006 by Insight

[the scouser]

Insight,

I think you'll find 'twas Tip who sent the second e-mail, replying to "Steven".

Scouse.

[Charma]

Hi Tip

I'm sorry for the really difficult situation you find yourself in. Whatever the advice you get here and despite all the analysis of the possible scenarios, there is only one way I feel you will get resolution on this. That is to use a P.I. and to do this sooner rather than later. If you do not do this, you are going to spend a long time churning over these doubts in your mind.

Any contact you have with your wife or Aw is going to compromise the outcome of any investigation. If these allegations are true, any compromise will ensure that the relationship is then well hidden and probably put on ice for a period.

There is still a strong chance that this is a malicious email intent on getting at you or your wife. You NEED to confirm that for the sake of your relationship. As others have said, you have every moral justification for doing this, not least your wife's own safety if this is motivated by jealousy.

The sooner you do this, the quicker you will be able to deal with the tremendous emotions that must be spinning in your head at the moment.

You sound like a strong character and your posts here have shown you in a positive light to many. Hang in there buddy. I truly wish you the very best of luck.