difficulties you encounter with your Thai partner

[YeahSiam]

Sorry to say it. Mine is exactly the same - switches off completely. Even basic common sense I try to teach her isn't acted on unless it is reiterated by a Thai (say her mother). Hard being in a relationship when you know you're not given any due consideration.

Same as when posters have stated they ignores them or cuts them off when her friends are talking. You're a farang - what do you expect.

It is incredibly sad situation considering the level of education they get in this country. They've been brainwashed into thinking there are far superior than us. I pity them sometimes. I guess it would be too hard to compute for them the reality of the real world. Ignorance is bliss they say, well i guess that has some weight in Thailand.

I'll be gone as soon as my kids have a good grasp of English, and I can explain things to them properly.

Yep that's right; marry in haste, repent at

leisure goes the saying and nowhere does

it apply as fittingly as among siily old men

who allow a good orgasm to form the bulk

of the rationale for matrimony. I bet all the

warning signs were there but you chose to

ignore them. You are to blame for your

situation, not her. Even with your superior

"education" and supposed grasp on

"reality", you still chose a woman you can't

communicate with and who evidently doesn't

respect you. There are plenty of men here

with wives who don't defer to to Thais to

validate what their husbands say. Your wife

just thinks you're a wallet.

I don't understand how you get to the point of marrying someone when you can't effectively communicate with them.

That's may be true, and I will love if my wife learns to speak a better English... or myself speaking fluent Thai.

Will make a good difference, but after moving to Thailand I found out that Thai women "communicates" very well with body language.....and I am not talking about sex....I am talking about LOVE. It is really a surprise for me....and improving naturally with time. Sabai...sabai.

I was married 3 times before with a same language women...and ...."communication"... was very bad.

Body language? So if you need to have

an important discussion about some

aspect of your life together like relocation,

investment, medical etc, she

communicates with her body????!!!!

You previous 3 marriages didn't work

despite a common language so you

thought you'd try one in which you can't

communicate verbally at all???

[Soutpeel]

Sorry to say it. Mine is exactly the same - switches off completely. Even basic common sense I try to teach her isn't acted on unless it is reiterated by a Thai (say her mother). Hard being in a relationship when you know you're not given any due consideration.

Same as when posters have stated they ignores them or cuts them off when her friends are talking. You're a farang - what do you expect.

It is incredibly sad situation considering the level of education they get in this country. They've been brainwashed into thinking there are far superior than us. I pity them sometimes. I guess it would be too hard to compute for them the reality of the real world. Ignorance is bliss they say, well i guess that has some weight in Thailand.

I'll be gone as soon as my kids have a good grasp of English, and I can explain things to them properly.

Yep that's right; marry in haste, repent at

leisure goes the saying and nowhere does

it apply as fittingly as among siily old men

who allow a good orgasm to form the bulk

of the rationale for matrimony. I bet all the

warning signs were there but you chose to

ignore them. You are to blame for your

situation, not her. Even with your superior

"education" and supposed grasp on

"reality", you still chose a woman you can't

communicate with and who evidently doesn't

respect you. There are plenty of men here

with wives who don't defer to to Thais to

validate what their husbands say. Your wife

just thinks you're a wallet.

I don't understand how you get to the point of marrying someone when you can't effectively communicate with them.

That's may be true, and I will love if my wife learns to speak a better English... or myself speaking fluent Thai.

Will make a good difference, but after moving to Thailand I found out that Thai women "communicates" very well with body language.....and I am not talking about sex....I am talking about LOVE. It is really a surprise for me....and improving naturally with time. Sabai...sabai.

I was married 3 times before with a same language women...and ...."communication"... was very bad.

Body language? So if you need to have

an important discussion about some

aspect of your life together like relocation,

investment, medical etc, she

communicates with her body????!!!!

You previous 3 marriages didn't work

despite a common language so you

thought you'd try one in which you can't

communicate verbally at all???

YS how do you communicate with your blow up doll then ?

[marko kok prong]

It refused sex,so they are not talking at the moment.

[Gordy Gambino]

I don't understand how you get to the point of marrying someone when you can't effectively communicate with them.

Ya never know! The sex might be smoking hot. Transcending language limitations.

I wouldn't marry someone just because the sex was good.

I would. Wouldn't need any other reason.

[wolfmanjack]

My wife is very westernised, she speaks reads and writes english,also works in real estate , we can communicate perfectly ,but when our son was born if she had wanted to take him home so her monk could but a string on his wrist who would i be to stop her ,the same as i dont stop her praying every night for 10 minutes or putting flowers in a vase in front of her favourite monk ,so who are you to stop your wife ,her jailer?

the point wasn't to stop her religious believe...the point was to carry a new born(which just came out of ICU) across the whole country.i do really respect her believes though we found a monk who did the procedure here...and as stated before the language barrier is not the main problem the problem is she doesn't listen properly...

and as another member has stated above all of this are minor issues...this thread is not about complaining(because we are pretty happy) it as about difficulties people encounter in mixed relationships...and how to solve them...

I know exactly what you are saying about not listening to what is said. My ex wife understand english perfectly fine and would act like she was listening to what i said. When i finished she would go off on me claiming i said a bunch of stuff that I did not say. She "heard" what she was thinking instead of what I was actually saying.

[metisdead]

Trolling posts and replies have been removed. Inflammatory posts and stalking posts have been removed.

[johnnycthedog]

Difficulties you encounter with your Thai partner................where to start?

Luckily enough I am now single here in Thailand although I did live with a Thai lady for some five years, and before that I had a six-month relationship with another lady. I have to add to that that I have made a lot of single Thai lady friends, and that's all they are, so I do have some experience.

The difficulties are many-fold: – for example communication is just about a no-no on anything other than a superficial level. If you want to talk about politics then it will end after a couple of sentences either related to the reds or the yellows; the state of the country with regards to anything ranging from GDP to finances, markets etc will draw blank stares; discussions about The Monarchy will get short shrift, after mentioning that so-and-so is liked, and so-and-so is not.

Try to talk about anything that is going on in the world and it will be lost on them......... the state of the US economy, the euro, the GFC and how it could affect Thailand and your income and so on, mean absolutely nothing.

I could go on and on however suffice it to say that any discussion on anything other than the price of vegetables, the local gossip and who is doing what to whom, is totally lost on these people.

Financially, many of them are hopeless and it is all about spend for today, because tomorrow there will be something which will turn up. "Who knows what the future will bring" is a lovely start to a sentence about planning for the future, which basically says they don't bother with it, and that is very true.

If you just want someone who fills up a space in a house and someone to have sex with, then all will be fine PERHAPS, until one of you gets tired with the latter.

So in summary, the difficulties I find are in meaningful conversation, entirely different beliefs and values, the complete lack of understanding how things and the world works, and the fact that they are only really interested in themselves and in doing what they have to do to ensure they come out of the relationship with more than they went in with.

If you are after a superficial relationship, don't like to be alone and think that the hot sex will last for ever, then you are in the right place.

What happens in the western world are the subjects to talk to your western friends about. Talk politics or economics or religion etc - talk to your western friends over a beer. Talk to your Thai gf or wife about the immediate issues that are important for that day. She has no interest in the events of the western society = just as you have no interest in Thai history and politics.

Translated into western society - there are those you can talk to on a range of subjects and those who you cannot discuss matters with.

In my estimation 90% of Thai - falang conversation is just the day to day stuff which a falang and Thai GF can negotiate quite easily!.

[SoiBiker]

I like talking to my wife about a range of subjects - I can't imagine being married to someone you can't hold a decent conversation with.

[marko kok prong]

I like talking to my wife about a range of subjects - I can't imagine being married to someone you can't hold a decent conversation with.

Agree,sad to think some of our misguided posters,only have the whistle of escaping air to talk too.

[marko kok prong]

To the op,you also have to be aware of family members moving in,like my father in law,"the Ghoul" i call him as he resembels closely Klaus Kinski take on Dracula,refuses to even say hallo to me,creeps around ,doing god knows what,sit's too eat,and then berates my wife if no food comes,cannot,cook,or clean his own clothes lays in a hammock for most of the day,a fine example of a Thai man, i am praying every day that a cane truck hits him,hard,fuckin hard.

[micmichd]

Tell everybody (incl. your lady) to keep in their own house and bed, then everbody has privacy. Then you can start over again, and everybody will love you for leaving them alone

[Gordy Gambino]

To the op,you also have to be aware of family members moving in,like my father in law,"the Ghoul" i call him as he resembels closely Klaus Kinski take on Dracula,refuses to even say hallo to me,creeps around ,doing god knows what,sit's too eat,and then berates my wife if no food comes,cannot,cook,or clean his own clothes lays in a hammock for most of the day,a fine example of a Thai man, i am praying every day that a cane truck hits him,hard,fuckin hard.

How much you gimme and I whack him.

[marko kok prong]

To the op,you also have to be aware of family members moving in,like my father in law,"the Ghoul" i call him as he resembels closely Klaus Kinski take on Dracula,refuses to even say hallo to me,creeps around ,doing god knows what,sit's too eat,and then berates my wife if no food comes,cannot,cook,or clean his own clothes lays in a hammock for most of the day,a fine example of a Thai man, i am praying every day that a cane truck hits him,hard,fuckin hard.

How much you gimme and I whack him.

Gordy would i get a discount if i supplied the lime?

[HaleySabai]

There really does not seem, to me, to be any point in being in a relationship where one cannot communicate.

This applies to not only language, but also to common levels of intellect, values, and experiences.

I believe the main reason I have been with my Thai-wife for 15yrs is because she can read,write & speak fluent english,as well as 3 other languages.

Without some level of communication that transcends physical attraction the relationship may be destined to grow in different direction.

Not to say that people don't stay in-relationship and still remain in different worlds...if not different beds.

'Love' is not the only reason people 'hook-up'.

The one thing that bugs me about my wife though, is her tendency towards 'magic-mindedness'..... strange interpretation of cause & effect,ghost-fears, giving-to-get..et However these attributes are not limited to her alone, they are shared properties of her cultural conditioning..aka: Thainess - so, to avoid conflict through confrontation, I just simply ignore it all together knowing well that as a Farang, I will simply never understand it anyways.

Edited March 1, 2015 by HaleySabai

[benalibina]

There really does not seem, to me, to be any point in being in a relationship where one cannot communicate.

This applies to not only language, but also to common levels of intellect, values, and experiences.

I believe the main reason I have been with my Thai-wife for 15yrs is because she can read,write & speak fluent english,as well as 3 other languages.

Without some level of communication that transcends physical attraction the relationship may be destined to grow in different direction.

Not to say that people don't stay in-relationship and still remain in different worlds...if not different beds.

'Love' is not the only reason people 'hook-up'.

The one thing that bugs me about my wife though, is her tendency towards 'magic-mindedness'..... strange interpretation of cause & effect,ghost-fears, giving-to-get..et However these attributes are not limited to her alone, they are shared properties of her cultural conditioning..aka: Thainess - so, to avoid conflict through confrontation, I just simply ignore it all together knowing well that as a Farang, I will simply never understand it anyways.

Good post...thanks for clarifying things for me.

[micmichd]

Guess many Thais can't understand Farangs' superstitious fears about Friday no. 13, black cat crossing road, or red-haired witches.

[Crazy chef 1]

Guess many Thais can't understand Farangs' superstitious fears about Friday no. 13, black cat crossing road, or red-haired witches.

Are many farangs still scared about those things???

[CapeCobra]

Guess many Thais can't understand Farangs' superstitious fears about Friday no. 13, black cat crossing road, or red-haired witches.

Are many farangs still scared about those things???

-------

In many high-rise condominiums and hotels, there is no 13th floor.

-------

Edited March 1, 2015 by CapeCobra

[micmichd]

That's why.

[Crazy chef 1]

Guess many Thais can't understand Farangs' superstitious fears about Friday no. 13, black cat crossing road, or red-haired witches.

Are many farangs still scared about those things???

-------

In many high-rise condominiums and hotels, there is no 13th floor.

-------

Yeah in good ol' US and A...

Does anybody know where the superstitious believe on the 13 is coming from???Just a hint= end of the temple Knights...

[watcharacters]

I found relationships with philipinas more equal and balanced from the start.

Guaranteed, it's all case by case.

[HaleySabai]

Guess many Thais can't understand Farangs' superstitious fears about Friday no. 13, black cat crossing road, or red-haired witches.

Oh,for sure,"magic-mindedness' is hardly an exclusive attribute of Thais. It would seem Mankind itself is hard-wired towards magical-thinking.

Its only been perhaps the last couple hundred or so years that the cruel blade of science has cut away a great deal of magical-mindedness in Western civilization by identifying forms of true causation. However, it is debatable whether this process has made the people of the West more peaceful thus civilized.

[micmichd]

An experiment on causation:

A car makes a sound like a gun. A man falls down. Another man (near the car) runs away. Nothing else.

Now ask 10 bystanders what happened. And you'll have 10 perfect witnesses ready to swear that one man got shot by the other.

The concept of causation has not really changed the cognitive frames in Europe very much.

[Camelot]

Ever since my wife discovered Facebook and adopted a cute, lovable dog, marital life has been sunshine and rainbows. No shortage of conversational topics or reasons to argue. Pets bring harmony to any home. Facebook means she can take out any negativity on her friends, not me. This is a winning combination as far as I'm concerned.

[johnnycthedog]

Difficulties you encounter with your Thai partner................where to start?

Luckily enough I am now single here in Thailand although I did live with a Thai lady for some five years, and before that I had a six-month relationship with another lady. I have to add to that that I have made a lot of single Thai lady friends, and that's all they are, so I do have some experience.

The difficulties are many-fold: – for example communication is just about a no-no on anything other than a superficial level. If you want to talk about politics then it will end after a couple of sentences either related to the reds or the yellows; the state of the country with regards to anything ranging from GDP to finances, markets etc will draw blank stares; discussions about The Monarchy will get short shrift, after mentioning that so-and-so is liked, and so-and-so is not.

Try to talk about anything that is going on in the world and it will be lost on them......... the state of the US economy, the euro, the GFC and how it could affect Thailand and your income and so on, mean absolutely nothing.

I could go on and on however suffice it to say that any discussion on anything other than the price of vegetables, the local gossip and who is doing what to whom, is totally lost on these people.

Financially, many of them are hopeless and it is all about spend for today, because tomorrow there will be something which will turn up. "Who knows what the future will bring" is a lovely start to a sentence about planning for the future, which basically says they don't bother with it, and that is very true.

If you just want someone who fills up a space in a house and someone to have sex with, then all will be fine PERHAPS, until one of you gets tired with the latter.

So in summary, the difficulties I find are in meaningful conversation, entirely different beliefs and values, the complete lack of understanding how things and the world works, and the fact that they are only really interested in themselves and in doing what they have to do to ensure they come out of the relationship with more than they went in with.

If you are after a superficial relationship, don't like to be alone and think that the hot sex will last for ever, then you are in the right place.

You are SO WRONG.

How many ex GF's did you talk to about politics, US economy. the Euro, the GFC. GDP and finances etc etc.

Get real - most girls wherever they hail from are not interested in that talk. All those matters are best discussed with male friends over a few beers. Very few girls are interested or want to talk about those subjects.. Same as you talk to your male friends about sport.

You are SO RIGHT.

Most Thai girls have no idea about saving for the future. Have today = spend today. But hey a lot of western girls are the same = some guy will provide for me.

Hmmmm. Bad memory - I see I posted similar comment some days ago at #127.

Edited March 3, 2015 by johnnycthedog

[xylophone]

Difficulties you encounter with your Thai partner................where to start?

Luckily enough I am now single here in Thailand although I did live with a Thai lady for some five years, and before that I had a six-month relationship with another lady. I have to add to that that I have made a lot of single Thai lady friends, and that's all they are, so I do have some experience.

The difficulties are many-fold: – for example communication is just about a no-no on anything other than a superficial level. If you want to talk about politics then it will end after a couple of sentences either related to the reds or the yellows; the state of the country with regards to anything ranging from GDP to finances, markets etc will draw blank stares; discussions about The Monarchy will get short shrift, after mentioning that so-and-so is liked, and so-and-so is not.

Try to talk about anything that is going on in the world and it will be lost on them......... the state of the US economy, the euro, the GFC and how it could affect Thailand and your income and so on, mean absolutely nothing.

I could go on and on however suffice it to say that any discussion on anything other than the price of vegetables, the local gossip and who is doing what to whom, is totally lost on these people.

Financially, many of them are hopeless and it is all about spend for today, because tomorrow there will be something which will turn up. "Who knows what the future will bring" is a lovely start to a sentence about planning for the future, which basically says they don't bother with it, and that is very true.

If you just want someone who fills up a space in a house and someone to have sex with, then all will be fine PERHAPS, until one of you gets tired with the latter.

So in summary, the difficulties I find are in meaningful conversation, entirely different beliefs and values, the complete lack of understanding how things and the world works, and the fact that they are only really interested in themselves and in doing what they have to do to ensure they come out of the relationship with more than they went in with.

If you are after a superficial relationship, don't like to be alone and think that the hot sex will last for ever, then you are in the right place.

You are SO WRONG.

How many ex GF's did you talk to about politics, US economy. the Euro, the GFC. GDP and finances etc etc.

Get real - most girls wherever they hail from are not interested in that talk. All those matters are best discussed with male friends over a few beers. Very few girls are interested or want to talk about those subjects.. Same as you talk to your male friends about sport.

You are SO RIGHT.

Most Thai girls have no idea about saving for the future. Have today = spend today. But hey a lot of western girls are the same = some guy will provide for me.

Hmmmm. Bad memory - I see I posted similar comment some days ago at #127.

You are entitled to your opinion, after all this is what this forum is all about. However from my perspective I am not "SO WRONG" as regards my post and discussions with ex-GF's.

Just about all of the "longer term" girlfriends I have had in the past have been able to discuss some aspects, if not all, of what I mentioned above, and it makes for an interesting relationship. Perhaps we move in different circles?

I do agree with your comment about being "SO RIGHT", in as much as most Thai girls have no idea about saving for the future, and a "have today= spend the day" mindset seems to be prevalent.

And I repeat my statement: "So in summary, the difficulties I find are in meaningful conversation, entirely different beliefs and values, the complete lack of understanding how things and the world works, and the fact that they are only really interested in themselves and in doing what they have to do to ensure they come out of the relationship with more than they went in with".

[notmyself]

And I repeat my statement: "So in summary, the difficulties I find are in meaningful conversation, entirely different beliefs and values, the complete lack of understanding how things and the world works, and the fact that they are only really interested in themselves and in doing what they have to do to ensure they come out of the relationship with more than they went in with".

Lack of inquisitiveness is the root cause.

[claffey]

My communication with my Mrs is okay,i speak enough basic Thai,and she speaks fairly good english,what drives me nuts though,and there have been other threads on this,is when i am speaking to her,and another family member or friend says something and she totally drops our conversation,and talks to the Thai person,i have told her several times this is rather rude,and in fact i have blown up about it a couple of times,i don't know if this is a Thai trait,i have noticed when a group are together,mostly women,they all tend to talk at once,and contrary to the myth of soft spoken Thai ladies,the voices will get louder and louder,a phenomenem my friend calls 'full chicken farm'.

I'm sure the same happens when the roles are reversed...?

[marko kok prong]

Father in law _ the ghoul,i was watering the plants,there he was,resembling Klaus Kinski's - Nosferatu,again ,i flicked on the outside light,he scuttled away to his small cell like room[outside the main house of course],i glanced at the can of gasoline i had nearby,my hand reached for it,the other hand reaching for my lighter,then my wife walked up,

"tam alai" she asked.

I smiled and told her i wanted to make sure i had enough benzene,to cut the grass poong nee.

[Mr Somtam]

To the op,you also have to be aware of family members moving in,like my father in law,"the Ghoul" i call him as he resembels closely Klaus Kinski take on Dracula,refuses to even say hallo to me,creeps around ,doing god knows what,sit's too eat,and then berates my wife if no food comes,cannot,cook,or clean his own clothes lays in a hammock for most of the day,a fine example of a Thai man, i am praying every day that a cane truck hits him,hard,fuckin hard.

Just tell him: pai leuy ai hiya!