North-eastern Thais Praise Foreign Husbands

[Huckenfell]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

any chance of a date ?

**edited for off-topic abuse**

[hammered]

It is a shame the survey didnt look at some of the less material aspects of the relationships. Although it would be stupid to deny the material side is not important, the non-material side is so often the one that really identifies a good or bad relationship.

[Our Man in Samui!]

Well Iam into browny points.... And the Mother and Father in law are number one!!

My Father in law works for the company I work for and he works his but off, as well as me and my Wife also, so there is a middle ground. I am very fortunate to have great people and I believe there are many good Thai's. As well as stories.... so we all know them....

So take the pat on the back and lets get this place going!Thailand that is!

Dont be stupid, there were many hundreds of others all around me, mostly in the aged 40 to 65 yrs age group, and boy did those women like to be heard! they did'nt seem to be satisfied for more than a few hours despite all the luxuries they had with them. Nearby was a man of about 65 yrs with a Thai wife around 30 , they seemed so happy together............makes me wonder ?

If you don't have anything to contribute to the topic at hand then please refrain from posting such off-topic drivel thank you.

[opalhort]

Just to add one more voice of farangs, who have married into Thai families who are NOT after the farang's money, to the discussion.

Here is our story (written and published in the US in 2000):

http://www.victoria-adventure.org/more_tha...er_suwanna.html

opalhort

[Pink Mist]

OK do I close this thread or keep it on topic

[Our Man in Samui!]

Yes!!!AGAIN!Well Iam into browny points.... And the Mother and Father in law are number one!!

My Father in law works for the company I work for and he works his but off, as well as me and my Wife also, so there is a middle ground. I am very fortunate to have great people and I believe there are many good Thai's. As well as stories.... so we all know them....

So take the pat on the back and lets get this place going!Thailand that is!

Just to add one more voice of farangs, who have married into Thai families who are NOT after the farang's money, to the discussion.

Here is our story (written and published in the US in 2000):

http://www.victoria-adventure.org/more_tha...er_suwanna.html

opalhort

[imjustagirl]

Guys, seriously after being with a TG could you go back to a FG???

We will not start with slagging off farang women in this thread, is that clear?

Well as a 'FG' I think I'll put in my thoughts.

There are 'good' women and 'bad' women, if you marry a bar girl then money is going to have an impact on the relationship substatially (I mean, she is selling herself to you in the first place so money must mean alot to her). Money always features in a realtionship wherever you are and not having any will always cause problems...at least in the UK you have the good old dole to help...here you don't so there is no security. I say hurray for the happy marriages and the whingers-well you probably have been stung and are smarting....you need to just use some common sense in your lady choices if you ask me.

And please don't put down all FG's - I am a reasonably good looking, earning good money, 30 year old and i'm never short of FM offers , some men prefer home grown i guess

(incidentally I wonder what the success rate of TM to FG is......not my cup of tea but thats just personal choice....)

I knew this would get to the BG topic eventually.

justagirl, did you read the topic title, I am not criticising you, it's not about falang women and thai men, it's about issarn females and the farang husbands and the success it brings.

I understand the topic, i'm just wondering if there has been a study of success of TM to FG marriages...is that not a cross cultural marriage!? Given the standing of 'respect' from community where does a thai man stand when his farang wife is earning more than him....man supporting woman = good, woman supporting man = ? good? bad? As men are usually the 'status' head in a family I am just curious....western culture of man should earn more than woman, does it apply in LoS? Or does money talk as has been discussed? if not appropriate i will start another thread.... and as said before thumbs up to our western blokes treating the ladies right

Check out the Ladies in Thailand section regarding this, we have discussed it before and are usually willing to discuss it again, without the inevitable peanut gallery you would find in the General Section

So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest.

so your comment was justgirl

Oops, meant to say thanks sbk, will check out ladies forum

[Thaddeus]

On topic.... my 2 Baht again.

I am very happy in my relationship with my wife out here in Isaan. And I know many farangs living here that will quite happily state the same.

The ones that are happy, in my experience, are the ones that have a comfortable lifestyle..... not a 'lord of the manor' lifestyle.

Similarly, the locals tend to respect the former. Mainly, because they are the type that try to fit in, try to learn a bit of the languages (I am constantly amazed at how much patience the locals have with me when I am trying out a new word)

And it's really nice to see some good press for once, rather than the usual doom and gloom articles.

[sbk]

On topic.... my 2 Baht again.

I am very happy in my relationship with my wife out here in Isaan. And I know many farangs living here that will quite happily state the same.

The ones that are happy, in my experience, are the ones that have a comfortable lifestyle..... not a 'lord of the manor' lifestyle.

Similarly, the locals tend to respect the former. Mainly, because they are the type that try to fit in, try to learn a bit of the languages (I am constantly amazed at how much patience the locals have with me when I am trying out a new word)

And it's really nice to see some good press for once, rather than the usual doom and gloom articles.

Thaddeus, do you live in your wife's village?

Do you feel that the farang who are most accepted are the ones who try the best to fit in? Not, I mean, by trying to be Thai, but by joining in community affairs, learning the language, eating the food?

[Greer]

My family is Thai, I am farang.

The money side is a real issue in any marriage anywhere and at any time - if you deny that, you are either independently wealthy (the money is irrelevant) or one card short of a pack.

I have now been married three times, and although it may seem that money is an inappropriate subject before getting married, it is always part of the equation eventually - my wives have been both Thai and farang.

This study simply brings to the fore something that most expats married to Thais know anyway.

Naturally anyone with common sense will realise that they can be better off if their family includes someone with a substantial income, or even simply a regular income sufficient for daily living.

The fact that people from two cultures can accept each other and the cultural differences is not just financial, although that is strong medicine, it relies on a certain understanding. There needs to be a respectful relationship based on good communication, otherwise all the money and the supposed "stability" it brings will not save you...

[Backpack_thailand]

Do you feel that the farang who are most accepted are the ones who try the best to fit in? Not, I mean, by trying to be Thai, but by joining in community affairs, learning the language, eating the food?

That's the point, get involved, join the community. The men in Thailand will respect you more if you behave like a man, not a silly foreigner who just does as he's told!

[Martin]

'sbk' in post #83 said:

"So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest".

Yes, I do feel as accepted as the article suggests.

But my wife and I have had to work at it.

It took about five years of doing such things as going to wedding receptions properly dressed in long trousers, socks, shoes, and long-sleeved shirt, and sitting with the more sober and respectable, and sticking strictly to 'nam pao'.

Then my wife started getting told: "You are lucky. Your husband is not like other farangs".

I note that the article says that Saphira TraiPhu lived with her husband, Peter Volk, in Germany until he retired.

What has struck me, and what I am trying to start some research on (also at Khon Kaen University) is what may be the effects of the next generation of Western-husband-and-Thai-wife retiring and coming to live in the wife's village.

The next generation of retirees are the 'baby boomers' and quite different in their experiences, and attitudes, from us of the previous Silent Generation.

Some of their Thai wives have been very successful in business etc in the West, and I think they may bring a lot of 'social capital' to the villages.

I see them as 'having the building blocks of power', if they care to use them.

They will be 'better-than-schooled: educated-in-the-University-of-Life',

have deployable capital (especially if they sell their house in the West at present prices, which seem to average 20 million baht),

have disposable income,

know the social (economic, political, and cultural) structure here,

and have a supportive husband (otherwise they wouldn't be coming to the village).

If, in twenty years time, Thailand has a woman Prime Minister, I would not be surprised if she is 'mia farang', with a 'baby boomer farang' husband, and her home village is in Isaan.

Times, they are a'changing.

About three years ago, we had an excellent thread, that ran and ran on here, about cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and farang men.

Somebody started it by enquiring why some farangs married a woman who they had met in a bar (which is also where a lot of Western-Western couples first meet, too!!).

We had to explain to him that there is no Social security here, so 'going fishing' for a farang husband is a very sensible strategy for a Thai-wife-and-mother who has lost her husband (either to the dreaded motor-bike accident, or due to his irresponsibility, or whatever).

And one of the most obvious places where the 'fish' are to be found is in the bars.

But the bars also attract the bargirls who are 'gold digging', as well as the widows and divorcees who are 'husband fishing'.

Unfortunately, this forum came under new management and the thread was killed stone dead and attempts to re-animate it got short shrift from Dr Pat Pong.

That was a pity, since it contained much that would have helped some newbies.

Perhaps this thread will live usefully.

[Thaddeus]

Thaddeus, do you live in your wife's village?

Yes I do, and when you pass our house, all there is is 5km of rubber trees and then Cambodia.

Do you feel that the farang who are most accepted are the ones who try the best to fit in? Not, I mean, by trying to be Thai, but by joining in community affairs, learning the language, eating the food?

Undoubtedly, but isn't that the case everywhere all over the world.... when you show a willingness to join in with the local lifestyle (which ever lifestyle in which ever culture) then you stop being strange and you gain trust and respect.

If you move somewhere, build an Ivory Tower and spend all day and night in it, you could be inside learning the local language.... but you would still be a stranger..... and distrust of strangers is a natural human trait in my experience..... irrespective of race, creed or colour.

[sbk]

'sbk' in post #83 said:

"So, back to the topic at hand which is, if I'm correct, Thai perceptions of Farang men & their Thai wives in the Isaan region. Not Bangkok, not the South, but how Isaan people feel about it. It would be interesting to hear from those men who live in their wives villages in the Isaan region and if they feel as accepted as this article appears to suggest".

Yes, I do feel as accepted as the article suggests.

But my wife and I have had to work at it.

It took about five years of doing such things as going to wedding receptions properly dressed in long trousers, socks, shoes, and long-sleeved shirt, and sitting with the more sober and respectable, and sticking strictly to 'nam pao'.

Then my wife started getting told: "You are lucky. Your husband is not like other farangs".

I note that the article says that Saphira TraiPhu lived with her husband, Peter Volk, in Germany until he retired.

What has struck me, and what I am trying to start some research on (also at Khon Kaen University) is what may be the effects of the next generation of Western-husband-and-Thai-wife retiring and coming to live in the wife's village.

The next generation of retirees are the 'baby boomers' and quite different in their experiences, and attitudes, from us of the previous Silent Generation.

Some of their Thai wives have been very successful in business etc in the West, and I think they may bring a lot of 'social capital' to the villages.

I see them as 'having the building blocks of power', if they care to use them.

They will be 'better-than-schooled: educated-in-the-University-of-Life',

have deployable capital (especially if they sell their house in the West at present prices, which seem to average 20 million baht),

have disposable income,

know the social (economic, political, and cultural) structure here,

and have a supportive husband (otherwise they wouldn't be coming to the village).

If, in twenty years time, Thailand has a woman Prime Minister, I would not be surprised if she is 'mia farang', with a 'baby boomer farang' husband, and her home village is in Isaan.

Times, they are a'changing.

About three years ago, we had an excellent thread, that ran and ran on here, about cross-cultural marriages between Thai women and farang men.

Somebody started it by enquiring why some farangs married a woman who they had met in a bar (which is also where a lot of Western-Western couples first meet, too!!).

We had to explain to him that there is no Social security here, so 'going fishing' for a farang husband is a very sensible strategy for a Thai-wife-and-mother who has lost her husband (either to the dreaded motor-bike accident, or due to his irresponsibility, or whatever).

And one of the most obvious places where the 'fish' are to be found is in the bars.

But the bars also attract the bargirls who are 'gold digging', as well as the widows and divorcees who are 'husband fishing'.

Unfortunately, this forum came under new management and the thread was killed stone dead and attempts to re-animate it got short shrift from Dr Pat Pong.

That was a pity, since it contained much that would have helped some newbies.

Perhaps this thread will live usefully.

Well, I for one, am curious and don't see why this thread can't live on IF we stick to the topic at hand and don't digress into the usual Thai woman bashing, Farang woman bashing, Thai man bashing that some posters feel the need to engage in.

As a long term resident of what has been a very rural area I find Martin's post very interesting. I, too, made this effort and have attended countless weddings, funerals, house openings, and ordinations. I feel that my willingness to dress appropriately at all times and my willingness to take part in the local community has made me more accepted.

I guess I was just curious how man men who live in rural Isaan (or even not so rural) have found their lives, if they have encountered any prejudices or have been accepted. Or, if they feel that the happiest way to live is by doing as Martin and Thaddeus have done or if it is to live in Thaddeus' ivory tower?

[OzMan_Bkk]

Apparently the parents of a thai women are happy with a farang husband as he can take better care of their daughter. Not only that but he can take care of them too, to varying degrees as well as raise their status in the village.

Ok. Please explain to me why this is a BAD thing.

[whitespider]

Isn't part of the problem the simple fact that we ONLY (usually) hear about the bad experiences? This generally gives a distorted view of the overall situation.

I have been married now for 5 years with 2 kids. I met my (isaan) wife working in a hotel in BKK. Classic story - left school age 11 and worked the fields until she met and married an older Thai who later died.

We both have stable businesses but she earns MORE than me - could have left at any time I guess. Fortunately I am not so cynical as to ever really have considered that an option. We live well and SHE supports her family, how can I complain about that?? I would do the same for MY mother if it were necessary.

My point is that I am just one of the thousands of "normal" stories - you know, the ones we NEVER hear about.

[Thaddeus]

I guess I was just curious how man men who live in rural Isaan (or even not so rural) have found their lives, if they have encountered any prejudices or have been accepted. Or, if they feel that the happiest way to live is by doing as Martin and Thaddeus have done or if it is to live in Thaddeus' ivory tower?

I know it wasn't typed that way by SBK, but can I just point out that I don't live in the ivory tower.

But, some farangs around here do.

I can only judge what I see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears, but the way it appears to me, the people of Isaan don't care one jot if you are better off than them, as long as two things happen, they have enough food and drink.... and.... you don't try to be a stranger.

I've even heard it boasted around these parts between different villages "well, our farangs better than yours" .... and you don't have to buy their respect for that to happen, you just have to fit in.

[Schooner]

When will people realize that people are people everywhere. Humans are complicated, unpredictable, and generally unreliable.

I come from a poor family, my father drank and spent his money on himself, beat my mother and me and my siblings. I wanted a better life. I left home and worked, joined the Army for a warm place to sleep. Somewhere along the line I got a GED and then met my first wife who came from a relitively stable family. I increased my status by marrying her and eventually graduated from college. The college I went to was a small unknown school and I was constantly reminded that it was not one of the top schools by my colleges. I achieved a measure of success as a sales engineer entertaining a bunch of stupid, fat men who had very large egos and very small brains. so I can relate to BG's. I fail to see the difference between what I did and what they do and the reasons behind it. Anyone who dosen't think status is an issue in the states has never been to a cocktail party.

Frankly, I really don't care what people think of me. The older I get the less I care about fitting in anywhere. hel_l I don't fit in in my own town why would I care what thai's think of me. I've learned a few words but I realized I just don't have the motivation. This is not because I dislike thai people, I do. I respect them because they are just like me and all the people I've ever known. If I learned the language, what would we talk about? World affairs?

One of my best friends used to tell me "you can marry more money in five minuets than you can make in a lifetime" he was right and he did. he's been happily married for almost twenty years. He calls himself a professional husband. He and his wife have one of the few good relationships I know of because they communicate, have common goals, keep their promises, and they like eachother. Same thing that works everywhere.

I have a TG and I adore her. She makes me laugh, She sings all the time, works hard, and is proud to be both isain and Thai. I am very proud of her she is number two in her college. We had many long conversations about what we want out of life and a relationship before we made any commitment. I replaced the income she was earning working long hours in an electronics factory. I learned a long time ago how to say no to unreasonable requests for money from my own siblings who can't seem to get a grip.

I went to her village and could not understand a word, but I could clearly see the respect that everyone that I met has for her. They don't respect her because she's with a farang, they respect her for the same reasons I do. She has made good choices in life and is managing herself with intregity. The house she grew up in is a typical thai stilt house. Her grandmother was born in it, but Her room looks like a typical girls room in the west. Her family has invested a lot in her.

I have been in Thailand for a year and met many different people good and bad. I feel like I've met them all before.

[LoveDaBlues]

This is so pathetic and silly article...

"the didn't care that she merry foreign and encourage it as they will gain money"

Of course..this is all about anyway the thais will sell them daughter in a second they realize they will get money..its insulting (the foreign as they accept him because the money) and humiliating (for the daughters as they get approved and recognized/respect from the family only if bring money not based on any value but the money. which very similiar to human traficing..another fact that very exsist and very alive in Thailand 2006).

"They built a house and gain respect from the neighbours"

Of course..loose face earn face..again money if it was me I shy even to build a fancy house in a rural/poor village then everybody fell even more down and poor then they flt before..

Nothing to be proud about.

Have more comments about this article but nothing new..

This is only my opinion.

Cheers,

you must know a lot of people in your village to know "everybody" feels down.

but are they in love?

Another opportunity for Thai bashing by the sour grapes croud who couldn't manage there relationships where they came from and obviously haven't learned anything since they came here.

These are the "blame somebody else" folks who refuse to take any personal responsability for there own role in their failures.

"stupid is as stupid does"

Agreed. I know plenty of successful, loving relationships here in Thailand. Some folks just always look for the negative. They reek of negativity when they enter a room; can't stand to be around them.

[samjaidee]

Always comes down to $ ?

I'm far more cynical since I came to live in Asia but my father, who is now 70 and lives in Nongkhai, is married to a woman from Issan, who is 30 years younger than him, but is still one of the BEST people I have ever met in my life. I'm English, but am also Buddhist, and she has taught me more about the right way to live than I could have possibly learnt in the good old UK where I come from. People like you have obviously only experienced only the seedier side of Thailand which does not reflect fairly on a group of people who could teach us Westerner so much about what life is really all about. Enough said, I think

[LoveDaBlues]

When will people realize that people are people everywhere. Humans are complicated, unpredictable, and generally unreliable.

I come from a poor family, my father drank and spent his money on himself, beat my mother and me and my siblings. I wanted a better life. I left home and worked, joined the Army for a warm place to sleep. Somewhere along the line I got a GED and then met my first wife who came from a relitively stable family. I increased my status by marrying her and eventually graduated from college. The college I went to was a small unknown school and I was constantly reminded that it was not one of the top schools by my colleges. I achieved a measure of success as a sales engineer entertaining a bunch of stupid, fat men who had very large egos and very small brains. so I can relate to BG's. I fail to see the difference between what I did and what they do and the reasons behind it. Anyone who dosen't think status is an issue in the states has never been to a cocktail party.

Frankly, I really don't care what people think of me. The older I get the less I care about fitting in anywhere. hel_l I don't fit in in my own town why would I care what thai's think of me. I've learned a few words but I realized I just don't have the motivation. This is not because I dislike thai people, I do. I respect them because they are just like me and all the people I've ever known. If I learned the language, what would we talk about? World affairs?

One of my best friends used to tell me "you can marry more money in five minuets than you can make in a lifetime" he was right and he did. he's been happily married for almost twenty years. He calls himself a professional husband. He and his wife have one of the few good relationships I know of because they communicate, have common goals, keep their promises, and they like eachother. Same thing that works everywhere.

I have a TG and I adore her. She makes me laugh, She sings all the time, works hard, and is proud to be both isain and Thai. I am very proud of her she is number two in her college. We had many long conversations about what we want out of life and a relationship before we made any commitment. I replaced the income she was earning working long hours in an electronics factory. I learned a long time ago how to say no to unreasonable requests for money from my own siblings who can't seem to get a grip.

I went to her village and could not understand a word, but I could clearly see the respect that everyone that I met has for her. They don't respect her because she's with a farang, they respect her for the same reasons I do. She has made good choices in life and is managing herself with intregity. The house she grew up in is a typical thai stilt house. Her grandmother was born in it, but Her room looks like a typical girls room in the west. Her family has invested a lot in her.

I have been in Thailand for a year and met many different people good and bad. I feel like I've met them all before.

Schooner, great post. Sounds like you've overcome a lot. What part of Issan are you in?

[footfall]

Interesting thread.

none had used the Internet as a means to meet their husband due to a lack of computer literacy.

OK - so why not tell us how they did meet ? And in the N-E or elsewhere ?

(I'd also really like to know what the poster spends 20,000 baht/week on at Big C ! They must love you !)

Interesting article here :http://www.sac.or.th/Subdetail/seminar/sum_of_seminar/seminar53_E.html

In some villages of the Northeastern Thailand, 1 out of 3 families reportedly has a member that marries a foreigner.

Edited August 27, 2006 by footfall

[Martin]

'sbk' said, in post #105:

"I guess I was just curious how man men who live in rural Isaan (or even not so rural) have found their lives, if they have encountered any prejudices or have been accepted."

I have never felt any prejudice against me in our village (which is part of the District Township---so our address is Ban Non Sa-at, Tambon Non Sa-at, Amphoe Non Sa-at).

But, just after I came to live here, a retired policeman, who previously was the sergeant(?) who oversaw the 'little policemen' whose beat is the mainstreet and the market, insisted on quite a long conversation with me. At the end, he said "You are OK Number One, and you have wife who is OK Number One. But you make many Thai man very jealous".

I took it as a warning to 'watch my back'.

I took it seriously, as I had caught one or two looks from the saamlor men, who act as taxi drivers.

And so I made sure that I got known by the important people at the Police Station and the Amphoe Offices. When we have any official ceremony, like the gathering to honour the King's Bithday, they invite me to sit with them on the VIP sofas.

It is a fact of life in a hierarchical society that you need to be known to have contacts in powerful positions.

And now that, when a new top officer is sent from Udon, the middle-level ones tell me to come and be introduced to him (as "Our Farang"), I know that I have made the grade.

There is still an occasional time when I feel like an animal in a zoo, though, when my wife is asked "What do you feed him on?".

Even my rudimentary Thai can usually catch that one, so I interject "Mae phet, mae phet. Tom yung kha kai saab, saab karp", meaning "No spices, no spices, but chicken in coconut milk is excellent'. And "Mae khao niow. Farang nong", with gestures.

The idea that sticky rice puts farangs to sleep always gets a laugh.

I have been infuriated by prejudice; but it hasn't been against me, but against my wife.

If we are not going to anything official, my wife dresses in the normal blouse and sarong of the ladies of the village. But some women schoolteachers and nursing officers at the hospital then show real conceit that they are college-brainwashed, and look down on 'peasants'.

However, when we go to something official where my wife isn't known, the same sort of people 'suck up', because my wife's tailored silk suits and her confident command of English make them think that maybe she is a headteacher or professor.

If the topic of where we live comes up, I will usually 'happen' to have a composite picture in my pocket that shows our house and how we have added and added to it very successfully, and 'drop' the casual remark that it is an advantage to me to be married to an architect who can do such designs and then be project manager to ensure the work is done to her specification.

(My wife only ever had one year of formal schooling, but she is Postgraduate-cum-laude from the University of Life.

She hasn't got BS, MS, PhD behind her name, but she can do a better job than some of those who have---where it should be translated as Bull Shiit, More Shiit, Piled higher and Deeper. As it should in some (though not all) cases in the academic world.)

One thing that a farang can do to get well regarded is to take photos on a digital camera and show them on the little screen on the back.

I have taken a lot at our railway station when the express from Bangkok comes through at 7:00 am and the assistant driver leans out and grabs the hoop, with the single-line section token attached, at 40km/h.

I printed a few for the station staff, and now, if the express has to stop in the passing loop for a southbound to come down, the stationmaster will 'have a word' and I get a ride in the cab up to the next station and come back by bus.

Childish, I know, but you can only tell the men from the boys by the size of their toys, and I like to 'drop' it amogst old friends in England that "My train set is metre gauge".

So it has been ten happy years in Bannork, punctuated by working for six months in Bangkok, which was interesting, but not so good.

[fruittbatt]

Thanks to all you amazing men out there who have told your own difficult stories and revealed so proudly your love and respect for your Thai wives or girlfriends - many from Isaan. This thread has given me a new and very positive view of farang men in relationships or marriages with Thai women. I wish you all very long and happy lives. Great to hear about your extended families, too!

[Thaddeus]

One thing that a farang can do to get well regarded is to take photos on a digital camera and show them on the little screen on the back.

Agreed, and also as Martin says, when you can, get them printed out and donate them accordingly. I take pictures at the local sports days and hand them out. I took pictures at the last event at school, a sort of end of term prize giving event, as I was the only farang to turn up.... guess what? ... I was asked to give out the prizes.

Having a little daughter is very handy, I quite frequently take her to school on the motorcy and it's handshakes and high-fives from all the kids in class.

With regards to the higher members of Thai society, I don't know if this is true in all the more rural areas but here they tend to come and see you..... as soon as the local Police Chief found out there was a new farang in town he popped round for a chat.... he spent quite a bit of time outside Thailand and just loves practising his English..... then he gives you his business card, which you stick in your driving licence, for all the obvious reasons (he actually tells you to do it)

A few months back, some of us were invited to join the new Gun Club.... this is by invitation only, temporary visitors will never get asked. So a few of us did, and we were compelled to attend the opening ceremony which was hosted by the 'Big Big Policeman Bangkok' (their description, not mine) .... ended up on Thai TV Channel 3 with that event as the Big Big Policeman asked a couple of us to help push the button that revealed the plaque (is that the right word or is that what you get on your teeth?)

They are just a couple of reasons why I like living in the boonies..... I don't think you get those experiences living in the larger cities.

P.S. after the gun club event, I now have the business cards of the Police Chiefs from Korat, Surin, Buriram etc and a nice little group photo of the Big Big Policeman, which is now sellotaped to my windscreen.... these days I just get waved on by the Traffic Police.

She hasn't got BS, MS, PhD behind her name, but she can do a better job than some of those who have---where it should be translated as Bull Shiit, More Shiit, Piled higher and Deeper

Only quoted that, as I haven't heard it for ages and it made me laugh like a drain

[kapasao]

I feel very fortunate to have married an Udon Thani Prov. girl who is relatively

pick of the litter. College educated, government official (I "bar-fined" her out of

that), and raised by a relative who became a forest saint after he retired.

She has a very sweet disposition, and beyond "enough to get by", wants only

to love and be loved in return. She has no desire for showy, expensive things,

and is very frugal. I always have to make a point of giving her permission to buy

nice things for herself, then further insisting that if she wants it, it is really ok.

The only thing she ever asked for outright was a 300 bhat silver ankle bracelet.

And, as if the above weren't more than enough, she can troubleshoot most

computer problems which come up!

We moved together to the Lamphun area, and live in the countryside. A new

and neutral environment for both of us. This was by mutual agreement, since

her hometown, although not a bad place, simply did not have enough on offer.

The facts that I am buddhist, (mostly) vegetarian, do not drink or smoke, and have

a genuine interest in phra phim (amulets) seem to favorably impress people.

At sixty years of age, I feel that it is rediculous for me to fantasize that I will ever

acquire any real proficiency in thai language, since my brain has become a sieve.

But I'll keep at it.

Chok dee to all, wherever you are.

[skydiver77]

This series of letters has been very interesting right from the start.

Many of the comments at the early stages, were top heavy by the cynical observations of the usual crowd of pot bellied piss artists, running down the 'apsara' qualities of our heavenly thai ladies.

Then things slowly turned around as'real men' farangs came bursting out in support of their partners.

I consider myself to be perhaps more qualified than most here to come out in support.

My first visit to Thailand was in 1969, during a mostly overland trip from the UK to OZ. After three years working in the NT, I returned and eventually met my future wife. A beautiful and gracious girl from Surin.

I regard it a an extreme privilege that I was able to share in her life for over 25 years.

She died of cancer 7 years ago.

This is how our super daughter, now in the UK age 27, thought of her Mum about 3 years ago, in a conversation like this;;

Jane.."Dad, if you want to look for another lady."

Me...."Not looking right now."

Jane.."But if you do, please look for a thai lady."

enuff said!

You never know whats around the corner.

Ive been married 2years to an amazing thai lady, 25 years younger than me, with a great daughter age 11. And back resident in Thailand again.

Chok dee to all the good guys.[and gals]

[sbk]

Its great that so many of you are happy in your relationships but this is more about your relationships with the people in your area, your inlaws, as well as how you have assimilated (or not).

So, although its nice so many are happy with their wives, lets try to get back on topic please?

Also, can I please point out that the original post was taken from a newspaper article and was not from a poster on this forum.

From the OP

Following marriage, the women's financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

The marriages were accepted within the communities and even encouraged by the women's relatives, as they were seen as a way to gain income. Foreign sons-in-law were better able to financially support the family than Thai husbands, the study said.

How many of you feel this is a fair evaluation and how many feel it takes more than just money to become accepted?

[Thaddeus]

Its great that so many of you are happy in your relationships but this is more about your relationships with the people in your area, your inlaws, as well as how you have assimilated (or not).

So, although its nice so many are happy with their wives, lets try to get back on topic please?

Also, can I please point out that the original post was taken from a newspaper article and was not from a poster on this forum.

From the OP

Following marriage, the women's financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

The marriages were accepted within the communities and even encouraged by the women's relatives, as they were seen as a way to gain income. Foreign sons-in-law were better able to financially support the family than Thai husbands, the study said.

How many of you feel this is a fair evaluation and how many feel it takes more than just money to become accepted?

People who move here have money..... that is a usually a gimee.

People with money get accepted into the community...... no.... it takes more than money.... it takes effort.

If all you have is money and no willingness to integrate.... only one thing will happen.... your wife may 'love' you, but the rest of the community really couldn't care if you are here or not.

I love and adore my wife, but I couldn't be confined to knowing just her for the rest of my natural.

[Thaddeus]

Addendum

Following marriage, the women's financial status had improved, with foreign husbands bringing steady income to the family, the study said. The marriages also brought the women more respect from neighbours, enabling them to move up the social ladder in their community.

I like that article, I really do..... but one thing is really important to me. That little piece of journalism is heavily weighted to the opinions of 'the friends and relatives' of the Thai national. It says scant little about what they really think about the partner.

I have no wish to be regarded as the farang with a Thai wife who everybody thinks the wife is great... I would rather be regarded as a couple that are good for the community..... that's why I do what I do.