hello and sorry if this has been answered many times, i have searched using the top right searching bar but I cannot get the right answer to fit my situation, so I would be thankful to anyone who can lend a hand?

I am married but my wife has decided after 3 months she is going to move on, we have a baby together and because I was married to her at the time of birth I understand this makes me the legal father and yes I am on the birth certificate.

now that my wife is asking for a divorce and I am seeing that she will make things difficult for me if I dont do everything that she wants, I am starting to see that I should agree and move on with life.

However I am on a non-imm O "supporting thai spouse" which I was asked to show the marriage cert. and her ID in order to get in London.

so............my question is (and thankyou for reading my boring thai story) what option do I have so I can remain in the country and look after my child? I am not old enough to retire and I am not wealthy. I have a british passport. I want to be here to make sure the kid is properly provided for so surely there must be others in my situation and a visa answer for us??

visaconfused.

Edited March 9, 201511 yr by visaconfused

I believe and others will go in more detail that if its your kid and you have custody you can have a similar visa.

no I do not have custody, and thank you for your reply robblok

If you have a multiple entry non-o visa based upon marriage you got in London it will be valid until it expires.

If on divorce you get at least joint custody you can still get multiple entry non-o visas some embassies and consulates

Or you can get a one year extension of stay based upon being the parent of a Thai at immigration.

It is easy to get single entry non-o visas based upon being the parent of a Thai.

You can also get 60 day extensions to visit your child at immigration.

You have parental rights over the child, as you are not divorced yet. When you divore you also make arrangements about the child and you can continue to have joined parental rights with the mother. That is what you should negotiate with the mother about and put in a formal agreement.

You can arrange that you take care of teh child X days a week and based upon that you can continue to get extensions of stay based on taking care of the child. (You would cancel your extension when you get divorced and directly apply for a new one based on the child).

Note that a Thai judge will only give someone sole parental rights if the other parent is incapable or a danger to the child.

Edited March 9, 201511 yr by Mario2008

thankyou ubonjoe and Mario2008 for your replies.

Yes I have a non-imm O multiple entry, for a few months already.

so I do need a legal document about joint-custody to show immigration, and I should do this before signing the divorce papers?

You must properly arrange the dual custody, which should include that you take care of the child on certain days, before you get divorced. Than you get divorced and can show the legal arrangement to immigraiton and get an extension based on that.

thankyou ubonjoe and Mario2008 for your replies.

Yes I have a non-imm O multiple entry, for a few months already.

so I do need a legal document about joint-custody to show immigration, and I should do this before signing the divorce papers?

You can continue to use the non-o visa for entry up to the enter before date on it. It will remain valid even after divorce. You will not need to show immigration anything other than your passport.

You will need to be sure joint custody of your child is part of the divorce agreement.

no I do not have custody, and thank you for your reply robblok

if you were married you have been legally recognized as the father and have a right to share custody.

I don't know if this idea is any good but a friend of mine did it. If it's no good someone just shoot it down please.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation but later he had to return to his home country. He needed a career with retirement income and all set up.

He cut a deal with the ex to pay child support subject to her giving him access to the child on trips to Thailand. This wasn't formal but he had the money as the lever which he could cut off. It's worked well so far. A couple of times he found out that the child didn't get presents and once the ex dragged her feet about seeing the child and every time he cut the money off until the wife straightened up. I believe he's paying 5K baht per month.

I might do that in LOS if I was in that situation, but I wouldn't put it in writing.

thank you hoohaa and Neversure for your replies

I also would like not to have paperwork but I think as I see it from Ubon joe and Mario2008 that I do infact need a joint custody paper to get the visa to stay and see my child. Hopefully this will not be expensive or difficult to get

thai elite, 500k, 5 years?

Have you discussed if she even wants to keep the child yet? The answer may surprise you!

I had a similar situation, and my ex was very accomodating about giving me sole parental power. She didn't want to move back to UK, but understood that it was far far better for our child to be brought up in the UK, what with the education standard and future opportunities being so much better than in Thailand.

School holidays are spent in Thailand, and it works well. But, it is me who has sole 100% parental power over our child.

It frees mum up to do her own thing, and mum and child can keep regular contact over skype and visit during holidays. For you, you have the opportunity to work properly in UK for a good wage, enjoy the usual child benefits and tax credits you're entitled to, and the child has a much better upbringing and education.

Try to get this from her, and you'll all be fairly happy with the outcome, i think.

Have you discussed if she even wants to keep the child yet? The answer may surprise you!

I had a similar situation, and my ex was very accomodating about giving me sole parental power. She didn't want to move back to UK, but understood that it was far far better for our child to be brought up in the UK, what with the education standard and future opportunities being so much better than in Thailand.

School holidays are spent in Thailand, and it works well. But, it is me who has sole 100% parental power over our child.

It frees mum up to do her own thing, and mum and child can keep regular contact over skype and visit during holidays. For you, you have the opportunity to work properly in UK for a good wage, enjoy the usual child benefits and tax credits you're entitled to, and the child has a much better upbringing and education.

Try to get this from her, and you'll all be fairly happy with the outcome, i think.

This is well worth trying. If you can put this together with her consent then the process will be a whole lot less stressful.

The Thailand Elite 5 year visa (granted on the spot for 5 years) for 500kTHB is also a good backup option visa wise.

Your best course of action legally may be as follows:

Obtain a divorce by consent by registration at the local Amphur. You would have to prior agreed custody and your contribution for child support; there is no legal obligation to provide for your ex, but of course there is with your child. IF she agrees to you having full custody that can be so recorded by the official; otherwise shared custody is a must and it will be recorded. All of course subject to what is in the child's best interest. The court option applies if she does not see the light about the huge advantages of a consent order at the Amphur; however you may not qualify for a court ordered divorce, which requires specific somewhat 'dated' grounds.

You would qualify for a non-imm visa being 'to support a thai child'. But immigration requires divorce and a document officially confirming under Thai law that you have custody (either by agreement at Amphur or via the court if she will not do this by consent). Note that while shared custody does qualify for this visa category, some immigration offices take the view that you must have sole custody. That is not correct but you would have to challenge et al. Overseas you should not have difficulties obtaining the visa with a shared custody order.

Nonsense post removed, the OP is actually asking for meaningful advice.