tribalfusion001 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 My Thai wife moved out on Saturday morning to stay with a female Thai friend who she works with. The situation is rather complicated with living arrangements, working and visas. We have been living with my parents since June 2012 when my wife was granted her spouse visa. We renewed the visa last year to FLR and that runs until May 2016. We also decided to have a long holiday in Thailand after securing the visa, a 2 month holiday. My wife wanted to help to re-build her parents house, she saved her money and spent a lot of it on the house. My wife's job was kept open for her, mine was to re-apply when I got back, I did not get back job back, som nam na for taking a long holiday! Anyway work has been patchy since July last year when we returned from our holiday. I cannot get any benefit from the UK because of time out of the UK in 2011/2012 when I was working in Thailand. I have been keeping busy with trying something new, I started a travel blog with the intention of using the website as a portfolio of what I can do. At present the blog is growing, but too early to apply for any jobs in the field of social media marketing or SEO. Recently things have been declining with my wife and I, plus friction with my parents with my wife. Things came to head last Tuesday with my mother and wife arguing, with my wife saying she did not want another visa and wanting to go back to Thailand, my mother told her to go home if she wished. Things got worse as the week progressed, by Friday she decided to move out. I didn't want my wife to leave, but she didn't want to stay in house any longer and our finances not strong enough to rent at present. She did talk about divorce next year, but a year is a long time to wait. I think my wife is feeling homesick and we always have a good time when we are in Thailand, so maybe it will be better to bite the bullet and try out there. The problem is living at my parents, I always have known that it is not ideal. Recently there have more complaints about my wifes cooking and the smell, I don't mind, but it's not my house. After reading about her visa, FLR, she not supposed to move out of the house and live without me, the Home Office needs to be informed. I haven't contacted my wife since she left and there are not many options at present. She will not welcome back at my parents house, too many arguments and shutting herself away recently. I cannot move out unless my finances improve to rent. Really not sure what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robertthebruce Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Sorry to hear about your Situation, cannot give advice, not sure what your next move would be... maybe wait and see if she gets in touch.. all the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellred Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 Tough situation mate. Maybe some time in Thailand together will help patch things up. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post colinneil Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Tough situation .Yes. Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER. You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up. How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!! 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Tough situation .Yes. Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER. You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up. How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!! Very true. Plus some loss of face by my wife. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post HeijoshinCool Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Tough situation .Yes. Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER. You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up. How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!! Very true. Plus some loss of face by my wife. . True? You blame your mother? Geez. That's sad. Your wife wants to be married to a man, not a mama's boy. You sit at home and write a travel blog? Go out and get a job. Get three jobs. Dig ditches. Clean toilets. Work flipping burgers. Whatever. Make money to support your family in your own home. Come on, Tribal. 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Sometimes it about building a new career, not just a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaorop Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 job job job job living with parents mean their rules/conditions job job job job thai wife want money job job job job what else can you do job job job job hang on why has the wife got a job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post HeijoshinCool Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Okay. Build your career, that's good. But get a job while you do it. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post kaorop Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Sometimes it about building a new career, not just a job. not if you want to keep a wife, many here have experienced that be it from Thai or Farang ladies money over matter, if you got no money you dont matter 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Berkshire Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 This thread is a good example of the uselessness of comments like "money isn't everything" or "money can't buy happiness" blah, blah, blah. As the OP's situation illustrates, money pretty darn well does matter. Especially if you don't have much. How old are you, OP? Just wondering if time is running out on you to make something of your life. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post georgemandm Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 This thread is a good example of the uselessness of comments like "money isn't everything" or "money can't buy happiness" blah, blah, blah. As the OP's situation illustrates, money pretty darn well does matter. Especially if you don't have much. How old are you, OP? Just wondering if time is running out on you to make something of your life. You hit it on the head I agree with you 1 mill% not money no honey I have been saying that for years you need money to do what you want in life cheers good reply I love it . 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 This thread is a good example of the uselessness of comments like "money isn't everything" or "money can't buy happiness" blah, blah, blah. As the OP's situation illustrates, money pretty darn well does matter. Especially if you don't have much. How old are you, OP? Just wondering if time is running out on you to make something of your life. You hit it on the head I agree with you 1 mill% not money no honey I have been saying that for years you need money to do what you want in life cheers good reply I love it . I'm 46, so plenty of time left in achieve something. I should have started looking at changing careers in June 2012 when she got her spouse visa. Instead I took a basic office call centre job thinking it was more important to work for the duration of her 2 year visa. She got her 2 year FLR extension in May last year and carried on working as a cook at her job in a bistro restaurant after our holiday. She had a roof over her head, it was not ideal, but I have ideas to what I can achieve and it takes time to build things up. It's a rather sad situation is she thinks "no money, no honey". I waited for 3 months in 2011 and another 4 months in 2012 in Bangkok applying for visas to get her into the UK and at a cost of in excess of £8,000! For the past 5 months whilst looking for work I have been reading and teaching myself new skills. I have done a basic HTML course, reading various experts blogs on digital marketing, social media marketing, SEO, keyword research, building up a following on Twitter, Google+, Facebook and Pinterest. I hosted my blog on 25th October and I have wrote 45 articles on travelling in the UK and Southeast Asia, started with a ranking of 26,000,000 and now it's 298,000. Anyway I've been applying for jobs in Thailand, may have a Skype interview this week with a digital marketing company. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post dragonfly94 Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 Anyone who gets rid of an unhappy argumentative Thai wife should consider themselves lucky.I don't think it's your mum, the wife should respect her and not argue with her, that's the Thai way aint it? Thai women are way over rated and the only reason most of them want to go to the UK is money, either from hubby or from earning. Sounds like for her the streets were not paved with gold like they told her in ks ks magazine, tuff shit. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MaeJoMTB Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 (edited) I'm 46, so plenty of time left in achieve something. I should have started looking at changing careers in June 2012 when she got her spouse visa. Instead I took a basic office call centre job thinking it was more important to work for the duration of her 2 year visa. She got her 2 year FLR extension in May last year and carried on working as a cook at her job in a bistro restaurant after our holiday. Not much demand for staff over 40 in the UK. If you haven't made your pension by age 50 back there, you're stuffed. Sorry for your problems, can't see a way out. She didn't leave because of your mum, she left because you have no money & no prospects. Edited March 10, 2015 by MaeJoMTB 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 I'm 46, so plenty of time left in achieve something. I should have started looking at changing careers in June 2012 when she got her spouse visa. Instead I took a basic office call centre job thinking it was more important to work for the duration of her 2 year visa. She got her 2 year FLR extension in May last year and carried on working as a cook at her job in a bistro restaurant after our holiday. Not much demand for staff over 40 in the UK. If you haven't made your pension by age 50 back there, you're stuffed. Sorry for your problems, can't see a way out. She didn't leave because of your mum, she left because you have no money. Too many immigrants coming in from eastern Europe, job market is tough at the moment with 100's applying for vacancies. That's why I'm changing direction and this is what I'm doing http://thetravellingphase.com/ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonfly94 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Tribal I know you don't I ? last time I saw you was at that cafe near Rama 3 last year. Seems to me you want to live in Thailand and she wanted to stay in the UK as she could earn more there in a day than a week over here. She's a lovely woman tribal and worth keeping hold of, however security is everything where they are concerned. Living with the parents could never have been ideal. if I were you i'd put it to her to get a place together and get a job ASAP. OR return to Thailand together, it's only 4 years until you could get a retirement visa. I'd do a bit of grovelling mate, she IS very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 I met a Richard and Peter in The Clubhouse in May 2014, one was a recruitment consultant and other in finance, both in their 30's. Are you the same Peter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonfly94 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 No i'm an old git my wife is a Thai teacher 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back. I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post nzexpat Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 <script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script> An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back. I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer. All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks! Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes. Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners ! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 <script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script> An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back. I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer. All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks! Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes. Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners ! It's not her home, it's my parents house. She has moved all of her things out of the house and she has not given a forwarding address. She can take me to the cleaners if she wishes, but she will receive nothing as I have nothing som nam na 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRRR Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Its not the end but gees at 40+ you should have had more sense in your living arrangments and job prospects before that long stay in Thailand. Think its pretty clear your Thai babe sees you as a mouse, women everywhere expect there man can provide for then and here you fail badly. Time to get proactive and off your bum start door knocking for a job, a mate of mine did this and always landed one, and while your out head to where your wife works or lives make a date with her and get that face to face contact going you have a lot of work to do to restore her faith in you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 It's too bad that Mom got in the way again, break free from her ( your Mom that is ), or Som nom naa rules apply.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 Its not the end but gees at 40+ you should have had more sense in your living arrangments and job prospects before that long stay in Thailand. Think its pretty clear your Thai babe sees you as a mouse, women everywhere expect there man can provide for then and here you fail badly. Time to get proactive and off your bum start door knocking for a job, a mate of mine did this and always landed one, and while your out head to where your wife works or lives make a date with her and get that face to face contact going you have a lot of work to do to restore her faith in you. When your wife decides to spend a month on the farm to help renovate her parents house and refused to fly on her own. I was only allowed 3 weeks holiday from the job, it didn't leave me with much choice. Anyway time to move on, my needs come first at present. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 It's too bad that Mom got in the way again, break free from her ( your Mom that is ), or Som nom naa rules apply.. and having said that, I wish you the best..a lot of us have good Thai women, but we have still ALL felt the lash, and it always stings.. learn from any errors in this relationship..learn well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 It's too bad that Mom got in the way again, break free from her ( your Mom that is ), or Som nom naa rules apply.. and having said that, I wish you the best..a lot of us have good Thai women, but we have still ALL felt the lash, and it always stings.. learn from any errors in this relationship..learn well. Yes very true. Lessons have been learned and I won't be making a similar mistake again! She had a chance of moving out 18 months ago. We looked at apartments here in this part of the UK, the costs were too high with bills as well. Instead she carried on saving her money and blew £5000 on her parents house and farm, when we got back from the holiday, she had no money left... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post wooloomooloo Posted March 10, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2015 46yo, married and living with your parents longterm? How was that ever going to pan out otherwise? You want to get working on your wife and your life. You've always struck me as about 12yo, if I'm honest. Sorry. I followed you on the other forum and this and you're still daydreaming. FLR? More money, for what? I know, I know. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tribalfusion001 Posted March 10, 2015 Author Share Posted March 10, 2015 46yo, married and living with your parents longterm? How was that ever going to pan out otherwise? You want to get working on your wife and your life. You've always struck me as about 12yo, if I'm honest. Sorry. I followed you on the other forum and this and you're still daydreaming. FLR? More money, for what? I know, I know. Go back to the other forum then, it's crap anyway! She has FLR, runs out May 2016, if she is not with me, no more visas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redandyellow Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 46yo, married and living with your parents longterm? How was that ever going to pan out otherwise? You want to get working on your wife and your life. You've always struck me as about 12yo, if I'm honest. Sorry. I followed you on the other forum and this and you're still daydreaming. FLR? More money, for what? I know, I know. Go back to the other forum then, it's crap anyway! She has FLR, runs out May 2016, if she is not with me, no more visas. Don't worry, at age 46 I'd just finished dating my very last western women, no slight on them..and was dating a bunch of Chinese ladies in Vancouver, until I "discovered" Thailand Funny how that works.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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