Please and Thank You

[laolover88]

Can someone explain why these two simple polite phrases used all over the world in all languages I speak are anathema in Thailand. Today have my daughter grumpy with me in 7. No need to say please. You paying!!!!!. Why does no Thai person ever say thank you for anything?

[benalibina]

Thank you.

[Tywais]

Two inflammatory posts removed. Keep civil.

As for myself, I hear it regularly at work, actually nearly daily.

[Gsxrnz]

For the same reason that English doesn't have the polite participles Ka and Khrap.

And for the same reasons that the English language doesn't require us to add the polite Mr/Mrs (Kuhn) when addressing our parents, and why we don't have the polite equivalents of Nong/Pi/Luhng/Ba as used by the Thais to show deference and age/relationship respect.

If you want your daughter to show politeness in English, it's YOUR job to teach her the differences in the language and extract the pleases and thank you's where appropriate. She'll soon learn - my five year old did, and she does it with such a charm in both languages that she's hard to deny anything.

She even addresses me as Kuhn Dad when speaking English and Kuhn Por when speaking Thai, so I get a double whammy.

OP, do you even understand the age relationship politeness words used in Thai, and how they're used? Does your daughter make a point of showing deference to you by bobbing her head when she walks past you?

Maybe your wife and you have omitted to ensure she learns not only the two languages, but the fact that you are not Thai does not mean she should ignore the Thai age/relationship mannerisms either.

Never mind the family - do you comprehend the full use of Ka and Khrap and a bob of the head amongst Thai adults? Your post would suggest you're a bit in the dark. Please and thank you have a place in Thai language and culture and are frequently used, but within close relationships it gets a bit murky and many words and mannerisms replace those English words.

Edited March 11, 2015 by Gsxrnz

[marko kok prong]

Op,i must say,i am worried about your blood pressure,you seem to take everything to heart,mate,cool down,don't sweat the small stuff,though i am probably the last person who should give this advice as i tend to too,it's hard ,but just try and stop think about it,before you get upset,i am terrible for it too,so i do understand,but it does not make for a good atmosphere around your home.

[WhamBam]

I do hear them say, please, thank you and sorry in Thai, but not often.

Usually an acknowledgement is simply Kah or Khrap for thank you and that seems to suffice for man Thai people.

[sean in udon]

Have witnessed the same as the op and also feel it shows a lack of manners.

Particularly amongst the females. With strangers, officials and not immediate family, it's always 'ja' or 'ka' at the end of every sentence.

With immediate family, nothing.

And my least favourite issan word 'bore' (no). Imo it carries no courtesy and sounds just plain rude.

Add to this the basic courtesy of saying bye bye at the end of a telephone conversation. Or should I say, the lack of. Although they are learning.

When I don't get a 'bye bye' I phone them back and ask if we got cut off. 'No we didn't get cut off'.

Buy you didn't say 'bye bye'.

I invariably get a bye bye at the end of telephone conversations now.

OP, perhaps we're getting a bit sensitive in our old age.

[Soutpeel]

you should take the offending Thai national, along with your ex-doctor friend to the your nearest police station and in your loudest farang voice lay a complaint with the BiB, all in fluent Thai of course

[Berkshire]

OP, perhaps we're getting a bit sensitive in our old age.

Yes.

[Swiss1960]

Maybe the OP just gets back what he deserves gives...

[Tywais]

Well, it happened to me again today. A student was at the building entry waiting to get in so I unlocked it and let him in. He had the audacity to say thank you to me and in English at that. I must be hanging out in the wrong places.

[Berkshire]

Well, it happened to me again today. A student was at the building entry waiting to get in so I unlocked it and let him in. He had the audacity to say thank you to me and in English at that. I must be hanging out in the wrong places.

Good one, Tywais, and more normal than what the OP is on about. I think people tend to get treated the way they treat others, "what goes around, comes around" sort of thing. It's all very cosmic.

[colinneil]

My father in law thanks me ( i think) he just grunts.

[nidieunimaitre]

In the Buddhist forum I read that monks are not allowed to say thank you, as it would spoil the karma of the person that donates something to them.

Maybe that is how it got into the normal everyday culture.

[transam]

OP, if your throwing cash at your family perhaps the respect thing has gone............

[benalibina]

OP, if your throwing cash at your family perhaps the respect thing has gone............

The opposite could be true as well....ofcourse...

[marko kok prong]

Well what about when they just get up and walk off,it's just the Thai way,to get wound so tight over it i don't understand.

[Suradit69]

For the same reason that English doesn't have the polite participles Ka and Khrap.

And for the same reasons that the English language doesn't require us to add the polite Mr/Mrs (Kuhn) when addressing our parents, and why we don't have the polite equivalents of Nong/Pi/Luhng/Ba as used by the Thais to show deference and age/relationship respect.

If you want your daughter to show politeness in English, it's YOUR job to teach her the differences in the language and extract the pleases and thank you's where appropriate. She'll soon learn - my five year old did, and she does it with such a charm in both languages that she's hard to deny anything.

She even addresses me as Kuhn Dad when speaking English and Kuhn Por when speaking Thai, so I get a double whammy.

OP, do you even understand the age relationship politeness words used in Thai, and how they're used? Does your daughter make a point of showing deference to you by bobbing her head when she walks past you?

Maybe your wife and you have omitted to ensure she learns not only the two languages, but the fact that you are not Thai does not mean she should ignore the Thai age/relationship mannerisms either.

Never mind the family - do you comprehend the full use of Ka and Khrap and a bob of the head amongst Thai adults? Your post would suggest you're a bit in the dark. Please and thank you have a place in Thai language and culture and are frequently used, but within close relationships it gets a bit murky and many words and mannerisms replace those English words.

"For the same reason that English doesn't have the polite participles Ka and Khrap.

Everyone from the cashiers at 7 Eleven to condo security guards to lottery ticket sellers to friends and the children of friends, use the polite sentence enders and say thank you ... in English or Thai ... for everything with me. I'm also greeted with sawadee khrap/ka by store clerks, cashiers, (most) street vendors et al.

I find most Thai people to be very polite and welcoming.

If the O/P's daughter is rude to him she probably has her reasons that have nothing to do with Thai culture.

[Suradit69]

Well what about when they just get up and walk off,it's just the Thai way,to get wound so tight over it i don't understand.

Considering your condescending attitude toward Thais, you're lucky they just want to put some distance between them and you. I expect you've experienced the same thing from people outside Thailand as well.

[Gecko123]

I used to get on my step-daughter's case a lot about the importance of saying "thank you."

I was so determined to get her into the habit of saying thank you, I found myself looking for nice things to do for her which she couldn't help but say 'thank you' for.

I'm happy to report that these days she says 'thank you' without needing to be prompted, but sometimes I wonder who trained who.

Edited March 13, 2015 by Gecko123

[nidieunimaitre]

Well what about when they just get up and walk off,it's just the Thai way,to get wound so tight over it i don't understand.

Considering your condescending attitude toward Thais, you're lucky they just want to put some distance between them and you. I expect you've experienced the same thing from people outside Thailand as well.

so sour

[Stan42]

For the same reason that English doesn't have the polite participles Ka and Khrap.

And for the same reasons that the English language doesn't require us to add the polite Mr/Mrs (Kuhn) when addressing our parents, and why we don't have the polite equivalents of Nong/Pi/Luhng/Ba as used by the Thais to show deference and age/relationship respect.

If you want your daughter to show politeness in English, it's YOUR job to teach her the differences in the language and extract the pleases and thank you's where appropriate. She'll soon learn - my five year old did, and she does it with such a charm in both languages that she's hard to deny anything.

She even addresses me as Kuhn Dad when speaking English and Kuhn Por when speaking Thai, so I get a double whammy.

OP, do you even understand the age relationship politeness words used in Thai, and how they're used? Does your daughter make a point of showing deference to you by bobbing her head when she walks past you?

Maybe your wife and you have omitted to ensure she learns not only the two languages, but the fact that you are not Thai does not mean she should ignore the Thai age/relationship mannerisms either.

Never mind the family - do you comprehend the full use of Ka and Khrap and a bob of the head amongst Thai adults? Your post would suggest you're a bit in the dark. Please and thank you have a place in Thai language and culture and are frequently used, but within close relationships it gets a bit murky and many words and mannerisms replace those English words.

"For the same reason that English doesn't have the polite participles Ka and Khrap.

Everyone from the cashiers at 7 Eleven to condo security guards to lottery ticket sellers to friends and the children of friends, use the polite sentence enders and say thank you ... in English or Thai ... for everything with me. I'm also greeted with sawadee khrap/ka by store clerks, cashiers, (most) street vendors et al.

I find most Thai people to be very polite and welcoming.

If the O/P's daughter is rude to him she probably has her reasons that have nothing to do with Thai culture.

Same here. OP must look extra grumpy.

[marko kok prong]

Well what about when they just get up and walk off,it's just the Thai way,to get wound so tight over it i don't understand.

Considering your condescending attitude toward Thais, you're lucky they just want to put some distance between them and you. I expect you've experienced the same thing from people outside Thailand as well.

so sour

Yes possibly one of the most bitter and condescending posters you will ever come across on this forum,wonder why the 69,is that the way he likes it?,with a pot of mama noodles ready to go.