Do's and don'ts in Thailand - Dating Etiquette

[Nigeone]

in my breaking in days, learn.t the following

treat them mean, and keep them keen policy

it works u know

a top of the morning to all

Can't do this...been brought up hearing this all my life from some of my friends...I guess am just old fashioned..interesting discussion mind...I'm one of the ones burnt by Thai girl...big time....but never was looking particularly in life for Thai wife...but it happened...then it didn't..lol...I love Thailand ..Lamphun particularly ...the ex pat club sounds interesting and might give it a look when I'm there next time...and would certainly be more than happy with friendship/relationship with western woman....after all it's love and friendship and companionship we all want no matter the nationality...

[Jdiddy]

Did dinner last night at a restaurant with a women 4 years older then me, im 31, i dont mind em abit older as long they have taken care of themselves and dress really well.

Favorite part was how the bill was presented to me then when it came back with the change it was given to her lol

[zeichen]

Who are you people talking to the OP had a heart attack and died from all the good advice. 5 pages in, still talking at each other You do realize that the OP hasn't responded in 4 pages right?

[andyr45]

It certainly is time to update.... I am most appreciative of the advice offered. This thread certainly took some twists and turns and it was in the main absorbing reading.

I am pleased to say that in the last two months I have received more care and affection than I received in the last 30 odd years in "my other life"

The ladies I have met have been an absolute pleasure to accompany. I have also had the opportunity to meet a number of their friends,family and children.

It has been a steep learning curve but the basic tenants of good manner, happy disposition and great attitude really work in Chiang Mai. Maybe I have died and gone to heaven, but by goodness what is there not to like about being able to live here?

[Nigeone]

It certainly is time to update.... I am most appreciative of the advice offered. This thread certainly took some twists and turns and it was in the main absorbing reading.

I am pleased to say that in the last two months I have received more care and affection than I received in the last 30 odd years in "my other life"

The ladies I have met have been an absolute pleasure to accompany. I have also had the opportunity to meet a number of their friends,family and children.

It has been a steep learning curve but the basic tenants of good manner, happy disposition and great attitude really work in Chiang Mai. Maybe I have died and gone to heaven, but by goodness what is there not to like about being able to live here?

So how did all this happen....am happy for you by the way....was all this change in your lifestyle from the ex pats meetings or what road did you go down..am genuinely interested as my circumstances are a little similar..hope your happiness continues..good luck

[Trujillo]

"Better go for western woman..."

Why would any man stay in Thailand to try to get a Western woman? There are only a few of them here, they are not going to be interested in a 57-year-old unattractive man, and if a woman is available, she's probably middle aged and shooting Jesus in her veins.

Two things to consider:

One, "etiquette" is just natural good manners here and everywhere, but in Thailand, the woman will lead you to your "bliss," much the way a water buffalo is lead to slaughter. Don't worry, she'll show you the way.

Two, why even bother with a "steady lady"? It sounds like you have lived most of your life with someone else; maybe it's time to be, as the Chinese say, "Single-noble." If you get lonely or need something, you can always rent.

Maybe you should just get your bearings for a year or so and then see if you really want to saddle up with a "permanent" opposite number.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

An interesting but true thing for me after being in Thailand so long is that I actually begin to view men and women's ages differently. If I see an objectively normal relationship of a middle aged guy and a middle aged woman in Thailand it just looks a little strange. Not in a bad way, but unusual. I do know some men who are in relationships with a Western woman, but for them too there is the age gap, with the woman easily 15-20 years younger.

Does anyone else get that? When you see some 50-something and reasonably fit guy with a 50 something Western woman and think... well: "Huh?"

Edited June 28, 2015 by WinnieTheKhwai

[Trujillo]

.... like bringing a six-pack to a kegger....

[Somnambulist]

I tried to get my wife to read Thailand Fever with me but she was offended by halfway through because it's pitched at foreign guy-bar girl couples. Several years later we are still together but that book is long gone. A foreign man can still learn a lot by reading it, though, and selectively working topics into conversation with a gf.

[Beetlejuice]

Do's in Thailand - Dating Etiquette

[andyr45]

Nigeone asked

So how did all this happen....am happy for you by the way....was all this change in your lifestyle from the ex pats meetings or what road did you go down..am genuinely interested as my circumstances are a little similar..hope your happiness continues..good luck

It came down to having to force myself out of my comfort zone. It required some substantial changes to my attitude and approach . I am not there yet but I am on the right path...

Being retiring in an environment such as this can only be described as debilitating. With so many opportunities to have fun and meet interesting and different people, not to seize the opportunities would be fool hardy.

The judgmental / youth-centric nature that abounded in my previous life is all but absent here - making this type of change somewhat easier (I would have thought)

The change was prompted by my doing a simple cost/benefit exercise and finding the benefits to be far greater than the potential down side. I needed to make the changes.

The environment I have been fortunate enough to find myself living in sure has hell was not going to adapt to me. The results for me are more contentment and a greater degree of happiness...

[bangmai]

OK, $0.02 more, or less.

If you want to date a western woman over 40, good luck with that.

If you want to have fun with a Thai woman, understand there are (simplistically speaking) several groups:

1. Educated, upper class Thais you will probably never meet. Most of these over 20-something will be married to upper class Thai men and have children.

2.Middle class (for Thai) women, often with some education, who are divorced , usually with children, and aren't impressed with Thai men. They are interested in financial stability and might or might not want marriage. many will be working women with shops or conventional jobs.

3. Lower class girls and women who are struggling in low paying jobs, or outright involved in sex for money, whose priorities are money, money and money. They might be fundamentally good people, but their circumstances have shaped their lives and priorities.

You can have friends from 2, and potentially a fun and rewarding relationship, but be up front about YOUR priorities and don't expect sex to happen in a hurry if at all. Thai women from proud families with old fashioned values don't as a rule do sex outside of marriage unless they are truly desperate, and you don't want to take advantage of that condition. Do plan to pay for most things, even if the woman has a job or business. All farang are (wrongly) viewed as wealthy by most Thais, so don't take it personally. General dating rule until you get to know someone MUCH better: honest, friendly, generous, considerate, undemanding, complimentary. Thai women are women, and they appreciate being treated this way. Western women of a certain age, depends.

Women (often younger) from from category 3 are generally amenable to just about anything - as a business proposition. Don't expect more than that and you won't be disappointed. They can be genuinely friendly, personable, etc., but not for long for free. And the quid pro quo can be many things: cash, clothes, better education or training, improved living conditions, scooter repair, mother's dental work... This list is endless. No need to bare your soul or bank account, and fewer "rules" apply. Just don't forget these girls are people and many have had few choices in life.

Good luck. :-)

This is a pretty fair assessment, IMO. However, as far as jumping into the sack, I am thinking more like the second date. Being over 50, I think things can be a little more straightforward. They either do, or they don't. If you're willing to pay for 10 dates and not get a short time; you should probably see a physician. I did know a lady in the US, who was actually British, who told me that if there was no sex by the 7th date, she would end it, because it just wasn't fair to either party. Time to move on. She didn't say never on the first or second, but said it should happen by the 7th, or the chemistry just isn't there.

Also, worth mentioning, would be the Thai ladies, who will really do you right, and are great on the wallet, but they simply don't want to be seen with a farang man in public. Most of these would fall into Cat 2, but they might think they are Cat 3, but basically have some kind of respectable job in Thai society, that probably doesn't pay that much. There can even be Cat 1s that are total Cat 1, that don't want to be seen with farang, especially in the smaller towns. That can be a little puzzling at first, but a good Cat 2, who is good in the rack but has to put on a facade for the Thai community, may be one of the better value plays.

[Ace of Pop]

Jeez so many gullible nice guys.

[bangmai]

A few, like the ones opening up businesses for their GFs. I seen two such dress shops fail within 150 meters of my home, in the last six months, and a coffee shop across the street, that seems to be doing about 300 per day in revenue. Back in Virginia, people are paying Korean girls 200 USD for an hour out call. A friend says they meet him at the local Panda Express. I knew the party on Sukhumvit was coming to an end a few years ago, when a Ugandan woman told me 3000 THB.