Dating And Nationality

[Ijustwannateach]

I have been informed that American-style dating is, culturally speaking, not widespread. A Scandinavian friend informs me that when he was young, you either had a boyfriend/girlfriend, or you engaged in meaningless slutty sleeping around, but there wasn't any of this ritualised "dating but not yet boyfriends" stage that we have in America.

To explain in more detail for those who don't know, in the States we have a stage of being single in which one is free to go out with more than one person in the same time period in a kind of search for the best kind of partner. There is no obligation to become someone's boyfriend, even if sex becomes involved, if you are "only dating."

I have had to explain this style of dating- with varying degrees of success- to Thais whom I intended to "date." Many of them have confirmed that Thai relationships do not seem to have an analogue to this stage of forming relationships.

If you are not Thai, what is the meaning of "dating" in your country? If you are Thai, what do you understand that "dating" means? What do you think of the meaning of "dating" in America or in other countries that may be described here?

And finally, what do you think about the disagreements that may arise in relationships over the meaning of "dating" between Thais and foreigners?

"Steven"

[boybrat]

the "dating" period is aka the "trial" period, i guess. and i clearly dun mind the "trial" period. its fuss free, my options are open and i can see who i want during that period before i settle with the one i want.

i shattered this guy i was seeing once when he referred to me as his "boyfriend". still feel guilty about it but hey...

i turned to him and said "since when was i your boyfriend? babe" i mean come on, we had only known each other for like one month! jeesus! he is a sweet guy and all that but not for me. had the bluest eyes...o well. tough. he jumped to conclusions i guess...

[PeaceBlondie]

A million years ago, when I dated girls in America, we not only had dates, we had 'going steady,' which meant you were very serious and weren't dating anybody else. You were even expected to exchange cheap jewelery, like a pin, to show that you were 'taken.'

And then, to the point of absurdity in that time and place, we even had the adverb, "going steadily." That meant you weren't quite pinned yet, but you were off the market, so to speak, not available for dating others. What absurdity.

For gay men, I think it has to do with pregnancy, and the lack thereof.

My friend dukkha doesn't like the American term "dating," to which I always respond Joan's words to Bob: okay, you who are so good with words - give me another name for it. Cavorting?

[Espada]

hmm...dating with gay guy? i don' know. i only do once and that's it. i don't really how to describe "dating" of Thais. there are varieties.

[TopChinese]

Nor can I describe it in terms of Singaporeans either. There really isn't a "standard" to speak. If anything, I suspect dating is considered "old fashioned" in our community.

Its the same old story. Boy meets boy. Boy ######s boy. Boy wants boy for himself. Other boy wants to "keep things open" and not "lock himself in a commitment". Conservative boy compromises by agreeing to open relationship, having 3somes, orgies. Slut boy meets another boy and dumps conservative boy. Conservative boy turns into bitter queen who hates the gay world or takes revenge by becoming another slut boy. And so on and so forth.

*sigh*

[boybrat]

Nor can I describe it in terms of Singaporeans either. There really isn't a "standard" to speak. If anything, I suspect dating is considered "old fashioned" in our community.

Its the same old story. Boy meets boy. Boy ######s boy. Boy wants boy for himself. Other boy wants to "keep things open" and not "lock himself in a commitment". Conservative boy compromises by agreeing to open relationship, having 3somes, orgies. Slut boy meets another boy and dumps conservative boy. Conservative boy turns into bitter queen who hates the gay world or takes revenge by becoming another slut boy. And so on and so forth.

*sigh*

*SCREEEAAAMMMMMMMMMMM*

or in some cases, boys meets boy, boy ######s boy, boy meets another boy, boy ######s the OTHER boy, boy meets ANOTHER boy, boy ######s the new other boy, etc.....

all i can say is , divorce does wonders! a boy's slut phase is the phase when he looks the best, the pecs get bigger, the abs get more defined, the hair get spikier, the jeans get lower-slung and the tanktops get tighter! a divorce can turn a conservative frumpy bespectacled boy into a disco bunny like THAT *snaps fingers*..they look good...and then they get attached AGAIN.

[popshirt]

First move when I'm single: BACK TO THE GYM !