Can someone give me advice on falling for a Thai girl?

[slipperylobster]

We all love your story, because most of us had similar ones......and this is no joke...we all had broken hearts in Asia.....

The second time I came backpacking to Asia, some 27/28 years ago I fell deeply in love with a really nice girl in Chiang Mai.....and I also taught, this is the one. The one I am going to stay with for ever......she was not like all the others, she was different.

It happened that I had a multiple country air ticket with Philippine airlines 6 months validity,Thailand, Indonesia , Philippines, Vietnam, and Thailand again,....at this time. True a good friend in a travel agency in Europe I could get a great deal on this flights, I had to pay for the furthest destination (Europe-Indonesia) and got two free stops, every additional stop was only approximatively a 1000 thb extra....

Bummer,....I felll in love on the first stretch of my travel, in Chiang Mai.....so I still had to go to all the other country's..... witch I was a bit reluctant to....but it was such a good deal, so I decided to continued my trip. My girlfriend came with me to Bangkok and we separated with great regret in the airport,......the way she cried made me feel so much in love. My exotic girlfriend,......!

My next country was the Philippines, where I met gorgeous exotic girls again, and so easy to get, but I was so in love with my Exotic Thai girl that I did not have a taste. I had planned to stay one month in every country so I travelled only 14 days in the Philippines in stead. Next stop, Indonesia ? the same I met great looking girls and in Jokjakarta and Bali....and despite it was a Muslim country some were so easy to get, but I did nothing, I had no feeling to cheat on my girlfriend. Instead of one month Indonesia I stayed 14 days. Next stop, Vietnam, you guest it, same same, so much in love with my Thai girl ! that I never wanted to cheat her,.....despite all the gorgeously beautiful girls that were willing to stay with me,.....to make a long story a bit shorter.....I came back to Thailand after cutting short all my trips,....and when I got back to Chiang Mai to see the love of my life !!! she was with another guy !!!.....and she told me she met him on the train that got her back to Chiang Mai just after we left each other in tears in Bangkok....

Its just a story happening to me some 27/28 years ago, needless to say, I learned a great lesson there. I was young and I took it as a lesson, as it had some Influence in my further life. I learned from it in different levels.

The next years I had the same deal with Philippine airlines and I did all this countries again for a few consecutive years every 6 months for some ten years. I had Girlfriends in all those countries, short, and long time ones. Until Philippine international Airlines got bankrupted, not due to my travels, but the man in charge of Philippine Airlines was a playboy and was more on golf courses than taking care of business.....I still fell in love hundreds of times after that but it was one of the best lessons that really counted in my further life...a great character builder...

I married the right woman some 15 /16 years later but I had the experience to know it was the right one.... and I met my Thai wife by accident without looking for it.....

I will not tell you what to do, or not to do, make your own decisions and bare the consequences. such is life welcome to the real world.

I hope you learn something from it,....You are young ! follow your heart, and if it brakes ? fall in love again, and again, and never stop falling in love....life is so great, live it ! take everything as a lesson....good or bad.....learn from your mistakes. and from other people's mistakes. ...

Best regards.

Nice trip...met girls all around. Manage to see anything else interesting?

[MauiSteveBKK]

My Thoughts:

* Like you, she is young. Immature. Possibly confused.

* You do have some "issues" to work through. It may take time.

* Maintain a relationship - but a bit more at "arm's length" and not so attached to her.

* Date 5 other Thai women. You need more "perspective" and experience.

* I believe in this slogan: "More Will Be Revealed". Give it more time.

* Do not rush to LOVE and JUDGEMENT. Withhold some of your love and more of your "Judging".

* Give her some space and time. Make her miss you and "crave" you.

* I do believe young people -- young Thai women -- can change. Absolutely. It takes patience, understanding, education.

* Understanding her background and "priorities" will help you to make decisions. What is important to her may not be important to you.

That's all I got for you.

Best wishes and thanks for posting.

[sir charles IV]

We all love your story, because most of us had similar ones......and this is no joke...we all had broken hearts in Asia.....

The second time I came backpacking to Asia, some 27/28 years ago I fell deeply in love with a really nice girl in Chiang Mai.....and I also taught, this is the one. The one I am going to stay with for ever......she was not like all the others, she was different.

It happened that I had a multiple country air ticket with Philippine airlines 6 months validity,Thailand, Indonesia , Philippines, Vietnam, and Thailand again,....at this time. True a good friend in a travel agency in Europe I could get a great deal on this flights, I had to pay for the furthest destination (Europe-Indonesia) and got two free stops, every additional stop was only approximatively a 1000 thb extra....

Bummer,....I felll in love on the first stretch of my travel, in Chiang Mai.....so I still had to go to all the other country's..... witch I was a bit reluctant to....but it was such a good deal, so I decided to continued my trip. My girlfriend came with me to Bangkok and we separated with great regret in the airport,......the way she cried made me feel so much in love. My exotic girlfriend,......!

My next country was the Philippines, where I met gorgeous exotic girls again, and so easy to get, but I was so in love with my Exotic Thai girl that I did not have a taste. I had planned to stay one month in every country so I travelled only 14 days in the Philippines in stead. Next stop, Indonesia ? the same I met great looking girls and in Jokjakarta and Bali....and despite it was a Muslim country some were so easy to get, but I did nothing, I had no feeling to cheat on my girlfriend. Instead of one month Indonesia I stayed 14 days. Next stop, Vietnam, you guest it, same same, so much in love with my Thai girl ! that I never wanted to cheat her,.....despite all the gorgeously beautiful girls that were willing to stay with me,.....to make a long story a bit shorter.....I came back to Thailand after cutting short all my trips,....and when I got back to Chiang Mai to see the love of my life !!! she was with another guy !!!.....and she told me she met him on the train that got her back to Chiang Mai just after we left each other in tears in Bangkok....

Its just a story happening to me some 27/28 years ago, needless to say, I learned a great lesson there. I was young and I took it as a lesson, as it had some Influence in my further life. I learned from it in different levels.

The next years I had the same deal with Philippine airlines and I did all this countries again for a few consecutive years every 6 months for some ten years. I had Girlfriends in all those countries, short, and long time ones. Until Philippine international Airlines got bankrupted, not due to my travels, but the man in charge of Philippine Airlines was a playboy and was more on golf courses than taking care of business.....I still fell in love hundreds of times after that but it was one of the best lessons that really counted in my further life...a great character builder...

I married the right woman some 15 /16 years later but I had the experience to know it was the right one.... and I met my Thai wife by accident without looking for it.....

I will not tell you what to do, or not to do, make your own decisions and bare the consequences. such is life welcome to the real world.

I hope you learn something from it,....You are young ! follow your heart, and if it brakes ? fall in love again, and again, and never stop falling in love....life is so great, live it ! take everything as a lesson....good or bad.....learn from your mistakes. and from other people's mistakes. ...

Best regards.

fantastic insight. There wouldn't be too many expats who cannot relate to your story. Yes the young man will experience everything u have covered me thinks.

[redandyellow]

You are obsessing over this girl... Download and read a copy of "Thailand Fever" and also "Private Dancer"... Both available in electronic format... You will thank me later...

Truer words were never spoken - promises are made and broken - start reading pronto, you've already seen Act One in person. Loptr hit the nail on the head. I also read those and more after an experience in 2006 that parallels yours..

Most of us have been there at least once, where it hurts to love.. that first Thai woman. It's intense. We get it Bro. Most of us We all evolve after the first big "fall." (no pun intended in terms of balcony railings)

You will get the "right" one in time, perhaps very soon.

Happy, happy hunting

[mikekiteboarder]

This guy does not need empathy, he needs a good dose of reality. His girl is working as a short time prostitute in Korea. That's the only way an un skilled thai girl can work there illegally. Servicing 8 men a day for a month to earn 100 000thb. Having said that I have nothing against thai hookers. I have 2 fantastic kids with one and she is a fantastic mum who for the lasts 6 years seems happy to be out of the business of selling herself. Once a bar girl always a bar girl, so you need to treat them accordingly.

ote name="Morakot" post="9313028" timestamp="1429258320"]

As I said, you just want to hear what you want to hear and will be in denial:

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

People like you are so predictable. You've been given very rational advice and it's you who is not being rational.

Rationality might be overrated.

The OP is trying to make sense of his personal, subjective situation and seems to hope for constructive feedback rather than "rational advice".

People should show some empathy.

[Thaimike370]

Use the brain in your head, not in your trousers.

[Dannyboy666]

This guy does not need empathy, he needs a good dose of reality. His girl is working as a short time prostitute in Korea. That's the only way an un skilled thai girl can work there illegally. Servicing 8 men a day for a month to earn 100 000thb. Having said that I have nothing against thai hookers. I have 2 fantastic kids with one and she is a fantastic mum who for the lasts 6 years seems happy to be out of the business of selling herself. Once a bar girl always a bar girl, so you need to treat them accordingly.

ote name="Morakot" post="9313028" timestamp="1429258320"]

As I said, you just want to hear what you want to hear and will be in denial:

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

People like you are so predictable. You've been given very rational advice and it's you who is not being rational.

Rationality might be overrated.

The OP is trying to make sense of his personal, subjective situation and seems to hope for constructive feedback rather than "rational advice".

People should show some empathy.

. My GF sister just came back from Korea after 7 years she work machine tool company, she left a virgin and she came back a virgin, but she bring money home, she's not cute...just sayin.

[micmichd]

The OP showed some empathy by posting how Farangs would behave in a comparable situations.

Giving a hand job in a massage parlour is *not* the same as giving pussy. Not STD-sensitive, and girls don't lose their virginity just from hand jobs.

May sound strange to Farangs, but female virginity is a high value in traditional Thailand.

[ScottMallon]

It would be nice it at least one person posted a rational response, but i guess that was asking for too much

You're young but...you'll learn...eventually.

1. She's going off to Korea to work as a prostitute. Period. If you're okay with this, continue on.

2. You obviously know very little about Thailand and the ways of its' women. You need to learn a little before you play the game or you're gonna get spanked.

3. If you think with the big head as opposed to the little one, you ought to be able to see that this is not a healthy relationship.

If the relationship is questionable, combined with the above three comments, you are not ready to deal with ANY relationship, much less this one. The answers have been given, the question is WILL YOU LISTEN? Most guys don't because they think their girl is different - or they are. You're definitely not and neither is she.

Edited April 19, 2015 by ScottMallon

[jerojero]

Read read read, learn learn, Then decide. Tons of good download books. Many helpful blogs. Try Stickman. Read Thai Fever!

[ericthai]

OP, Nobody can tell you the right move to make, this is only a decision you can make.

Many guys here want to paint all Thai girls with the same brush which in reality can't be done. No matter if you are talking about Thai, Filipino, US or UK girls none of them are the same.

Yes, most bar girls in Thailand are looking for one thing.... financial security and just hoping to meet an ex-pat that will take care of her and her family and hoping at the same time he will be a nice guy. Then some are just looking for money and don't care about anything and will lie, cheat and steal to get what they want, again doesn't matter if we are talking about Thai or any other girl in the world.

There are many stories about Thai girls taking everything a guy has and leaving him with nothing. I have been living and working in Asia for over 20 years and living in Thailand full time for over 15 years. In all those years I only know one guy that was stupid enough to build a house for a girl and give her all his money. I know a few guys that have spent allot of money on girls both here in Thailand and in the USA. Maybe all the friends I have in Thailand are smarter than the average guy that you hear all the stories about. I do believe this happens but not as much as people claim.

OP it does look bad that she went to korea to work, not much for a Thai girl to do there, I have done many projects in Korea and there are allot of Thai girls working in korea for comfort services, so things don't look good.

Question is... what is she asking of you? Is she asking for you to support her? If not then maybe this is the only way she knows how to make good money,.Did you and her speak about her not working at such shops?

As many posters stated you are young and there are many girls in Thailand and all over Asia that would be very happy to be with a young guy. If you really are in love with her then it;s worth the time to talk to her and try and figure out what she is looking for and what you are looking for. I'm not saying to start giving her money every month but to just take the time and see if things are workable or not and then go from there.

Good Luck to you, I know it's not easy when it come to beautiful girls.

[Morakot]

I actually do understand exactly why she done it. That doesn't make it easy to accept.

Best to apologise to your friend. You don't need to treat her that badly, regardless whether you accept her past or not. Giving her rent for staying in her apartment is a good idea.

Edited April 19, 2015 by Morakot

[CharlieH]

at request of OP.."yes. thanks to everyone who replied. if a moderator can lock it that'd be appreciated as it warrants no further discussion. cheers"