How old is Too old to Father Children in Thailand?

[brewsterbudgen]

I'm tempted to post another photo...........but I won't as I don't want to become a middle-aged baby bore.....

Yes, please don't.

You do have a beautiful baby. Like every other baby out there.

"How many kids do you have?" is one of the first questions I get asked by Thais. When I say I don't have any, they look at me as if I have somehow been negligent in my duties.

The next question is usually, "But who will look after you when you get old?"

And here lies a huge difference between Thai and Western values. In Australia, our culture is to grow our assets in our younger years so we can live on a nest-egg when we are older. The welfare system will also prop us up in times of financial and health needs.

Thais, on the other hand, generally are incapable or unprepared to save money, and with no such state assistance, the elderly often rely on family for support. The need for a Thai man to start a family becomes urgent if he is approaching middle age.

I am 52 years old, and I gave up any plan of bringing a baby into this world when I was about 40. I would want to be a father to my child, not a grandfather.

I respect that and everyone should have their own thoughts on their capacity or inclination to be a parent. For me, however, it's completely different. Although at nearly 55 I'd pretty much given up on the thought of having children, I couldn't be more delighted in having a son last month. I'm tempted to post another photo...........but I won't as I don't want to become a middle-aged baby bore.....

And so here's another one that couldn't be more delighted to have a kid.

The topic is not about you but the age of parents, particularly the western Father.

By my rational, you are too old to be the sharp, energetic Father so, if you don't mind me asking, "what sort of physical, mental and financial state are you in?"

Do you have the financial resources to send your kid to a western school equivalent?

Is your health favourable (your mothers and fathers health provide the best yardstick) enough to see your kid well into adulthood?

And last question; what's the go with the mother?

Reason I ask this question is that every doting father includes the mother as in "we are delighted in having our first son last month". That's every father I know, here and abroad.

Why is that a western style school is required for any happiness and sucess in Thailand?

Brewster - Hold back the pics. Congrats and all that on the baby, We all know this is one of those topics that will never be resolved.

Point taken, I realise this is not the place for baby photos. And I won't be goaded by the few negative posters, even though I find them rather sad.

[timtscott]

I am 54 and healthy. I have never had children. I regret it at times. In some ways I think I would be a perfect father. When I retire in a few years I would have all the time in the world to spend with a child and raise them. I would not have had that luxury as a younger working man. At the same time, I'm not sure I would have the energy to raise a child. Perhaps I would catch my second wind and be renewed who knows? I have a decent pension and savings so I think I would be able to care for my child financially. I think though if I decided to be a parent at this age it would be through adoption or as a step father. That is just me. I try not to pass judgement on what paths others may choose.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[brewsterbudgen]

At 55 or above, do you really think you can give that commitment and support, or does it just make you feel more of a man to know the little head still functions.

The former.

[Blackfox]

And so here's another one that couldn't be more delighted to have a kid.

The topic is not about you but the age of parents, particularly the western Father.

By my rational, you are too old to be the sharp, energetic Father so, if you don't mind me asking, "what sort of physical, mental and financial state are you in?"

Do you have the financial resources to send your kid to a western school equivalent?

Is your health favourable (your mothers and fathers health provide the best yardstick) enough to see your kid well into adulthood?

And last question; what's the go with the mother?

Reason I ask this question is that every doting father includes the mother as in "we are delighted in having our first son last month". That's every father I know, here and abroad.

Why is that a western style school is required for any happiness and sucess in Thailand?

Yeah, I wondered about that too.

Thai government school is fine for Thai children, the bonus of them speaking two languages is enough.

But to be fair, haven't finally decided where to educate my 3 year old, thinking of moving to Spain for a while.

(I speak English, Thai, French and Spanish so plenty of choices)

Could go back to the UK, could stay in Thailand. With EU and Thai passports, he has many options and advantages.

So by that rational Jo, even though you speak 4 languages, you think a Thai government school will suffice so your kid can speak 2 languages?

I'd only hope for your kids sake you do educate your child in Spain or the UK.

Do you think you are limiting your child's opportunities by considering just a Thai school?

You'd remember a previous post of mine stating that it's in the best interests of a child to give them the BEST education possible especially for you being in possession of the EU passport.

Go to the education forum to learn how bi-lingual Thai schools compare to top tier international or schooling abroad...they don't. Don't limit your child's potential.

Re your other point; nothing has to be resolved. It's an open forum for people to express what their thoughts are. In this case, "how old is too old to Father a child in Thailand"?

Brewster; note above.

This isn't the place for your baby pics. Cute kid, but they all are as young infants.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Blackfox

[brewsterbudgen]

Brewster; note above.

This isn't the place for your baby pics. Cute kid, but they all are as young infants.

Thanks. And yes, I'm rather regretting using the Forum like Facebook! I guess it's the first time flush of fatherhood! There will be no more.

[Liquorice]

I'd guess a lot of these older men having children with much younger wives are trying to relive their lost youth.

They must have failed in their younger lives to hold down a relationship with their wives and children.

An ego trip and a last ditch effort to make amends for past failings?

You guessed wrong,

I was replacing what my former wife stole from me.

As for failed relationships, managed 30 years with the previous wife, guessing that's longer than you managed.

12 Years. Divorced the wife and raised 4 kids aged 3-11.

Engaged twice, one killed in a car crash, the other died of a brain tumour.

Enough said!

Had a vasectomy at 36.

If you can't raise kids at an age where you can enjoy all the activities with them as a Father, why the hell would you want to start when your old enough to be a Grandfather. Your kids will really look forward to School Sports Days when Mum and Grandfather come to watch. Do you have any idea of the ridicule your children will be subjected to as they grow up. Kids can be really cruel to each other.

I think the object of the OP's post was to look at it from the view of the kid and what he/she might be subjected too.

As a kid from a single parent family I well remember the fights and scraps I went through at school.

Later as a single parent, I also remember dragging kids and their parents into the school to give them a verbal drubbing and I was only in my 30's then!

God only knows what kids will be subjected to when Dad turns out to be an OAP.

[MaeJoMTB]

If you can't raise kids at an age where you can enjoy all the activities with them as a Father, why the hell would you want to start when your old enough to be a Grandfather. Your kids will really look forward to School Sports Days when Mum and Grandfather come to watch. Do you have any idea of the ridicule your children will be subjected to as they grow up. Kids can be really cruel to each other.

Just wondering what activities you think I can't enjoy with my kids (I'm 60)?

This morning hiked 17Km in the mountains, with an altitude gain of 1Km, just under 4 hours for the return trip.

Last week went downhill mountain biking twice, 12Km, then 60Km. Normally I stick to cross country, usually around 40Km/day

As for school ridicule,

in Thailand entirely normal for kids to be brought up by their grandparents, many don't have parents at all.

in the UK, nobody even thinks about other people's parents age. House and car maybe, age no

Everyone is either bullied or a bully, that's how life is. Hair colour, skin colour, etc. the'll find an excuse if you let them.

Edited April 27, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Liquorice]

If you can't raise kids at an age where you can enjoy all the activities with them as a Father, why the hell would you want to start when your old enough to be a Grandfather. Your kids will really look forward to School Sports Days when Mum and Grandfather come to watch. Do you have any idea of the ridicule your children will be subjected to as they grow up. Kids can be really cruel to each other.

Just wondering what activities you think I can't enjoy with my kids (I'm 60)?

This morning hiked 17Km in the mountains, with an altitude gain of 1Km, just under 4 hours for the return trip.

Last week went downhill mountain biking twice, 12Km, then 60Km. Normally I stick to cross country, usually around 40Km/day

As for school ridicule,

in Thailand entirely normal for kids to be brought up by their grandparents, many don't have parents at all.

in the UK, nobody even thinks about other people's parents age. House and car maybe, age no

Everyone is either bullied or a bully, that's how life is. Hair colour, skin colour, etc. the'll find an excuse if you let them.

So this morning you made a 3 year old kid hike 17km in just under 4 hours.

Last week he went downhill mountain biking twice, 12km and then 60km.

But normally he just does the 40km Cross Country mountain biking with you everyday.

Is your real identity Jor-El?

Edited April 27, 2015 by Faz

[MaeJoMTB]

Is your real identity Jor-El?

And is your identity "Darwin award winner 2003"?

[Water Buffalo]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

If you can't raise kids at an age where you can enjoy all the activities with them as a Father, why the hell would you want to start when your old enough to be a Grandfather. Your kids will really look forward to School Sports Days when Mum and Grandfather come to watch. Do you have any idea of the ridicule your children will be subjected to as they grow up. Kids can be really cruel to each other.

Just wondering what activities you think I can't enjoy with my kids (I'm 60)?

This morning hiked 17Km in the mountains, with an altitude gain of 1Km, just under 4 hours for the return trip.

Last week went downhill mountain biking twice, 12Km, then 60Km. Normally I stick to cross country, usually around 40Km/day

As for school ridicule,

in Thailand entirely normal for kids to be brought up by their grandparents, many don't have parents at all.

in the UK, nobody even thinks about other people's parents age. House and car maybe, age no

Everyone is either bullied or a bully, that's how life is. Hair colour, skin colour, etc. the'll find an excuse if you let them.

"in the UK, nobody even thinks about other people's parents age."

They would if the father was 60 and the mother 25, that's for sure!

[Liquorice]

If you can't raise kids at an age where you can enjoy all the activities with them as a Father, why the hell would you want to start when your old enough to be a Grandfather. Your kids will really look forward to School Sports Days when Mum and Grandfather come to watch. Do you have any idea of the ridicule your children will be subjected to as they grow up. Kids can be really cruel to each other.

Just wondering what activities you think I can't enjoy with my kids (I'm 60)?

This morning hiked 17Km in the mountains, with an altitude gain of 1Km, just under 4 hours for the return trip.

Last week went downhill mountain biking twice, 12Km, then 60Km. Normally I stick to cross country, usually around 40Km/day

As for school ridicule,

in Thailand entirely normal for kids to be brought up by their grandparents, many don't have parents at all.

in the UK, nobody even thinks about other people's parents age. House and car maybe, age no

Everyone is either bullied or a bully, that's how life is. Hair colour, skin colour, etc. the'll find an excuse if you let them.

So this morning you made a 3 year old kid hike 17km in just under 4 hours.

Last week he went downhill mountain biking twice, 12km and then 60km.

But normally he just does the 40km Cross Country mountain biking with you everyday.

Is your real identity Jor-El?

Was the question to difficult for you?

Please enlighten the other members just how these shared activities are possible.

Let's turn the clocks forward. Your son is now 13 and you are 70.

Now I can see your son doing a 17km hike at an average speed of 2.6mph to make it in 4 hours.

Now I can see him downhill mountain biking twice a week for 12km then 60km.

Yes, I see him doing the 40km Cross Country Mountain bike ride every other day to.

But...........where are you?

[Ki Po]

Get some children at any age! (your age )
especially if it annoys your younger family - so they cant get your money when you die.
Alone that is worth it.

[Blackfox]

Get some children at any age! (your age )

especially if it annoys your younger family - so they cant get your money when you die.

Alone that is worth it.

Perhaps a mod better close the thread.

Some deep seated anger there KiPo.

[ALFREDO]

-frollywolly-

First - often, the women try to get pregnant, by any means, if they think the man is ok

and will than not leave them light hearted can say - to have always a foot in the door.

Second - If a woman want to get pregnant, the only possibility to prevent that is to "Cut sperm duct".

Many, me included are fearful about that OP.

Third - The age, how high-old is still acceptable? Who will take care the child financially?

I think, hard to say and depends also on your home countries health care system.

My country pays out a Half orphan's pension, for the child if the father dies, married or not married!

My country, pays out a widows pension, if legally married if there is a child together.

No age limit for the parents. (In legal surroundings) No age limit regarding -age difference-

(No child, than special age limits and lenght of marriage, decides if and how long a Pension is paid.)

Edited May 1, 2015 by ALFREDO

[tartempion]

When I was 10 this planet had 3 billion humans, today there are 7 billion of that stupid species, jeez.

Anyway, we now care for a 4 year young(for 3 years) I am not the father and she is not the mother.

The best decision in my old age.

OK, it's 15.40, time to wake her from her nap and go for a swim.

Have a nice day, but please don't make any more kids.

[EyesWideOpen]

Funny thread, and a bit sanctimonious for some posters to be declaring the maximum

age at which to have a child. My daughter is four, and I am 61 . She is the best thing

that ever happened to me, although she was not exactly planned for . For me I am very

active, and am in perfect health. So no problem to do whatever she wants. So at 18,

I will be 75. My father was out doing construction work at 75....... I am in fact considering

having another child......

Edited May 23, 2015 by EyesWideOpen

[MaeJoMTB]

Funny thread, and a bit sanctimonious for some posters to be declaring the maximum

age at which to have a child. My daughter is four, and I am 61 . She is the best thing

that ever happened to me, although she was not exactly planned for . For me I am very

active, and am in perfect health. So no problem to do whatever she wants. So at 18,

I will be 75. My father was out doing construction work at 75....... I am in fact considering

having another child......

Good on yer, I'd like another one too.

[zeichen]

There are benefits being and older parent especially if you aren't burdened with work. Having more time to spend with your family is really good. Also many people that have matured even more or have already had children when they were younger, have a lot of experience and are probably more detached and less likely to make the same mistakes. Being calm, patient and understanding isn't exclusive to mature people but most have refocused their priorities and tend to be less reactive.

Now that being said, I still think that anyone over 60 having children have a higher risk of leaving their children without a father. I had a student once who's mom was in her late 30's early 40's but the dad was 70+, both Thai if that matters, I felt really bad because I thought he was the grandfather. The students would tease him because his mom was hot and his father older and wealthy. He had tough skin though.

I have had many students without fathers too. It is hard when you are pre-teen and loose a parent.

As long as the person is healthy and active and can maintain throughout their child's life there shouldn't be any stigma.

[talktomarty]

My Father was 54 when I was born, not much money but he worked hard.

We have had a loving and very close relationship until he died aged 75.

He was the best Dad in the world, I owe everything to him including a fabulous life that I live now.

Your accusations and speculations are groundless, in fact you sound like a bitter old man yourself, full of hate and ridicule for anyone that doesn't live to your bigoted standards.

Try a little live and let live and stop being so judgemental.

[Cypress Hill]

My Father was 54 when I was born, not much money but he worked hard.

We have had a loving and very close relationship until he died aged 75.

He was the best Dad in the world, I owe everything to him including a fabulous life that I live now.

Your accusations and speculations are groundless, in fact you sound like a bitter old man yourself, full of hate and ridicule for anyone that doesn't live to your bigoted standards.

Try a little live and let live and stop being so judgemental.

Yeah but if your dad had been 34 when you were born instead of 54, you'd have been able to spend a lot more time with him, wouldn't you?

Edited May 25, 2015 by Cypress Hill

[MaeJoMTB]

My Father was 54 when I was born, not much money but he worked hard.

We have had a loving and very close relationship until he died aged 75.

He was the best Dad in the world, I owe everything to him including a fabulous life that I live now.

Your accusations and speculations are groundless, in fact you sound like a bitter old man yourself, full of hate and ridicule for anyone that doesn't live to your bigoted standards.

Try a little live and let live and stop being so judgemental.

Yeah but if your dad had been 34 when you were born instead of 54, you'd have been able to spend a lot more time with him, wouldn't you?

Most British working class men spent no time with their children.

Too busy working, too tired after work.

And to be honest I didn't particularly want to spend time with either of my parents.

Out playing with my mates as soon as I was old enough to ride a bike.

Some of you have some very strange 'Hollywood' inspired ideas of parenting.

Guess it's cos you didn't have children, or didn't have parents.

[talktomarty]

My Father was 54 when I was born, not much money but he worked hard.

We have had a loving and very close relationship until he died aged 75.

He was the best Dad in the world, I owe everything to him including a fabulous life that I live now.

Your accusations and speculations are groundless, in fact you sound like a bitter old man yourself, full of hate and ridicule for anyone that doesn't live to your bigoted standards.

Try a little live and let live and stop being so judgemental.

Yeah but if your dad had been 34 when you were born instead of 54, you'd have been able to spend a lot more time with him, wouldn't you?

But he wasn't 35, he was 54. At 35 he had the third of my 7 brothers and sisters, I am the youngest so how could he??

If I hadn't been born there would not be 4 wonderful human beings on this earth - my children.

Are you actually saying that I should never have been born?

Edited May 25, 2015 by talktomarty

[Cypress Hill]

My Father was 54 when I was born, not much money but he worked hard.

We have had a loving and very close relationship until he died aged 75.

He was the best Dad in the world, I owe everything to him including a fabulous life that I live now.

Your accusations and speculations are groundless, in fact you sound like a bitter old man yourself, full of hate and ridicule for anyone that doesn't live to your bigoted standards.

Try a little live and let live and stop being so judgemental.

Yeah but if your dad had been 34 when you were born instead of 54, you'd have been able to spend a lot more time with him, wouldn't you?

But he wasn't 35, he was 54. At 35 he had the third of my 7 brothers and sisters, I am the youngest so how could he??

If I hadn't been born there would not be 4 wonderful human beings on this earth - my children.

Are you actually saying that I should never have been born?

It was just an observation.

Let's hope you didn't pass on an obvious penchant for melodrama to your offspring, shall we?

Everyone's a wonderful human being to their parents, bud.

I bet Adolf Hitler's folks thought he was lovely too.

Point being, you're kinda biased.