How old is Too old to Father Children in Thailand?

[bandito]

Hey, frollywolly,first it is none of your business the way people are organising their lives.

Secondly, nobody is going to tell me how to live or making children or not.

That's between me and mij wife and we don't need your consent to do this.

[brewsterbudgen]

Just had my first child and I'll be 55 in a few months. Best thing that's ever happened to me!

Edited April 25, 2015 by brewsterbudgen

[lorbhaim]

Something from boys point of view:

Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue

[Godders]

When you help produce a child life, irrespective of what age you may happen to be, you are passing on the greatest gift of all - life. Don't knock it.

[chicowoodduck]

Just had my first child and I'll be 55 in a few months. Best thing that's ever happened to me!

Say that when you are 80....lol. ?

[MaeJoMTB]

what kind of economics do you follow. do you know that the largest and best growing economy in the world is china. Do you know that china is the most populated country in the world. the second fastest growing is India and the second most populated. Both Canada and Australia are aware that serious impediments to their growth is lack of large populations.

Back to the real issue. No one has any right to comment on other peoples desire or decision to have kids at any age. If you ask what is the right age, well the answer is simple. The biological clock determines that. keep your values to yourself.

On paper maybe, but in reality, no.

Have you ever visited India or China? Try telling the people there that.

I wonder when they will achieve what Luxembourg has.

So many white folk advocating racial suicide.

Yep, let's all stop breeding and let the Indians, Muslims and Chinese take over the world.

[MaeJoMTB]

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

My dad was 50 (and mum 40) when I was born, can't say anyone ever commented on his age to me.

I didn't really think about my friends fathers ages either, didn't really think about their dads at all.

Nor did any of the bullies.

When you're a kid, over 30 is old, no need to think any more about it.

What is going on with all these guys fantasizing about other peoples fathers ages?

It's a non-event!

Edited April 25, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[Gecko123]

The topics of fathering children at advanced ages, couples with extreme age differences between partners, and relationships based largely on the exchange of sexual favors for monetary reward are really sub topics of the larger topic of how sex tourism impacts Thailand on a socioeconomic level.

While I unequivocably agree that everyone is entitled to make their own life choices, it is undeniable that these issues do impact Thai society, as well as how the expat community is perceived both here and abroad.

As such, I believe these issues warrant discussion, and I commend the OP for raising this sensitive and somewhat taboo subject.

[ttthailand]

My parents both lived into their mid 80s, lets say 85 as a good figure. If I had a baby now at 57 and I followed their example my child would be about 28 when I die.

I remember when I was a child my father was always working or busy in one way or another. He didn't have much time to help with homework or just play with us. He would however take us kids fishing when he could.

When he got older and retired he had a lot of free time. I spent 1000% more time with my father during the last 20 years of his life than I did when I was growing up and lived with my parents. During those later years we became more than father and son, we became good friends. I think it would have been great to have him around when I needed him most and that was when I was a young boy growing up. This is the time that we start to shape who we are and someone to be there and guide us would be very helpful.

If I were to have a child now that child would be the center of my life. Most of my time would be spent taking care of and teaching that child . We might only have 28 years together but those years would be well spent. That is unlike the first 28 years with my father which I almost never had time with because he was so busy.

Perhaps it is really best to have children when you are older so you have the time to teach them and guide them. Maybe the way we do it now is all wrong

[ttthailand]

When we are growing up our fathers are normally very busy and have limited time to spend with us. When our fathers and retired most of us are normally busy and have limited time to spend with them. Wouldn't it be great to combine the free retirement time with the growing up time. Here in Thailand we get to do exactly that

[thehelmsman]

And on the note of age-gap which some other members have mentioned.

I think anything up to 10 years is fine, though if the woman is 10 years older there may be some sex drive problems, since men tend to have a higher sex drive by nature.

If the age gap goes over 10 years, then I think 15 years is the absolute maximum, in any case. After that, it starts to seem seriously abnormal and probably dysfunctional, in most cases. There may be a few rare exceptions.

If I were with a woman 20 years younger or more, i would feel a little ashamed in front of my family "back home".

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

An important thing one learns as an adult is not to care to much what others think of you. You seem to be lacking in that department.

[Gecko123]

My parents both lived into their mid 80s, lets say 85 as a good figure. If I had a baby now at 57 and I followed their example my child would be about 28 when I die.

I remember when I was a child my father was always working or busy in one way or another. He didn't have much time to help with homework or just play with us. He would however take us kids fishing when he could.

When he got older and retired he had a lot of free time. I spent 1000% more time with my father during the last 20 years of his life than I did when I was growing up and lived with my parents. During those later years we became more than father and son, we became good friends. I think it would have been great to have him around when I needed him most and that was when I was a young boy growing up. This is the time that we start to shape who we are and someone to be there and guide us would be very helpful.

If I were to have a child now that child would be the center of my life. Most of my time would be spent taking care of and teaching that child . We might only have 28 years together but those years would be well spent. That is unlike the first 28 years with my father which I almost never had time with because he was so busy.

Perhaps it is really best to have children when you are older so you have the time to teach them and guide them. Maybe the way we do it now is all wrong

tthailand:

Can relate very much to what you wrote.

I spent very little time with my father when I was young, but lots when he was in his 60's and 70's. Being an older father usually also brings a more mature perspective, more patience, more financial stability, less work related stress (if retired).

I have been a parent in my 50's and early 60's and am certain I am doing a better job than I would have done in my 20's or 30's.

[thehelmsman]

Just had my first child and I'll be 55 in a few months. Best thing that's ever happened to me!

Say that when you are 80....lol.

Please explain the lol, I missed the joke.

[gazwa]

I'm 54 and have a 2 yo boy and 3 step children 8yo 18 yo and 22 yo Although the baby was not planned, my wife and I were overjoyed to discover the pregnancy. I still work and also have funds for retirement. I love spending time with all of them and have done since we married 6 years ago.

Some people just love being a dad, I'm one of them. I have mates over 60 who have young children and they all love and care for their kids and have already provided for their future.

As for dieing when the kids are young, well, better to have a good dad for a shortime than some "expletive" for life. There are plenty of unworthy fathers out there of all ages.

I suggest you live your life as you see fit and leave others to live theirs and forgo this sanctimonious and judgemental crap.

"As for dieing when the kids are young, well, better to have a good dad for a shortime than some "expletive" for life. There are plenty of unworthy fathers out there of all ages."

This is the narcissistic kind of rhetoric I fail to grasp.

Why is it a comparison of better to have a good dad for a few years against a bad father? Self serving nonsense old bean.

Why not a comparison of the great majority of fathers, who are good fathers, who are with with their children through their childhood and early adulthood?

That is a like for like comparison

I don't know what type of cloistered life you've lived, but in my life, lived in both the 20th and 21st centuries the nuclear family has become the exception rather than the rule. Blended families are considered normal nowadays. If you find yourself in a perfect marriage for life then good for you. Not everyone is so lucky or perfect as you "old bean" so get off your high horse and accept that we are not all from the same mold.

As far as my narcissistic, self serving nonsense is concerned, I have, in my life had more than a few friends battling the insidious damage done by bad fathers. You, clearly have not, in the rarified atmosphere of whatever privileged, pious life you have been so lucky to have enjoyed. This is why you fail to grasp it. You clearly have no idea what is happening in the rest of the world.

P.S. My first wife wished she had had a good dad for a short time instead of the "expletive" she was forced to endue. In the 9 years we were married she clung to my dad as a survivor of a ship wreck would cling to a life preserver. I am still the proud father of our 28 yo son and he and I are, and always have been very close.

Edited April 25, 2015 by gazwa

[brewsterbudgen]

Just had my first child and I'll be 55 in a few months. Best thing that's ever happened to me!

Say that when you are 80....lol.

Please explain the lol, I missed the joke.

Me too.

[Eneukman]

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I'm in part agreement with the OP.

There's a guy who lives near me in Hua Hin is 68 and has a 6 month old daughter.

I'm not saying that if you're older you can't be a great dad, but people should consider how fair it is on the child when the father is so old.

I lost one of my parents when I was ten years old, not because of old age, but nonetheless for any child to lose one of their parents is a truly traumatic experience and having a child in your 60s obviously dramatically increases the risk of your son or daughter growing up without a dad for a large part of their childhood.

There's more to it than simply being able to financially support your child.

it's OK to say you've got money in the bank but fatherhood is much more than that.

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

My dad was 50 (and mum 40) when I was born, can't say anyone ever commented on his age to me.

I didn't really think about my friends fathers ages either, didn't really think about their dads at all.

Nor did any of the bullies.

When you're a kid, over 30 is old, no need to think any more about it.

What is going on with all these guys fantasizing about other peoples fathers ages?

It's a non-event!

My dad was 54 and my mum 41 when I was born. They had both died before my 17th birthday. For as long as I could remember, my dad was in poor health. So all you older guys thinking of having children when you're in your 50's or older, think of what your children will miss out on if you take ill - a cousin died from a heart attack when in his late 40's though he had no children.

Alan

[Blackfox]

I'm 62, have a 3 year old. Very happy with lots of money. Been married 5 years and my wife is now 26. Much support in our family. My child will be taken care of very well. You don't need to be concerned.

You can never know about the feeling, reasons, or love of life until you can walk in the shoes that carry this joy. Hopefully you can learn something by reading these comments and better understand how important it is to open your mind a little bit more.

I bet she's happy, you've got lots of money.

Your child will be taken very good care of......and so will the family hahahaha.

Blackfox - Why do insist on insulting a man and his family? jealousy....maybe - I've found in life when someone tries raining on your parade that jealousy is often the reason.

Perhaps the reason is lack of funds - No lady even a poor Isaan would would want you, you're so poor.

Could be you can't point and shoot - Hmmm.

Helmsman,

In answer to your questions;

No, not jealous.

Financially secure to raise a family.

Can point and shoot.

You are wrong on all counts so I'll give you reasoning.

1st: The education system is shitful in this country. It would mean taking my family back to my home country for a far better education, standard of life, and opportunity.

I see it as a duty having the western passport to provide the BEST opportunity for a child. The best opportunities are abroad, not here.

2nd: My wife is 7 years younger from a very good family here in BKK.

I wouldn't want my child associating with luk krueng children from a lower social standing.

This is very difficult as I don't know many expats with a wife of the same class.

I know what you're thinking, but it's how I feel and each person, as has been previously stated, is entitled to their opinion.

3rd: My wife and I don't need a child to be any happier than we already are.

I'm 45 soon. I love my wife and life just the way it is.

If a child comes along, then it's a huge game changer, but we have discussed and planned accordingly.

My wife and I do a lot of business around town and not once have we been viewed in bad light.

I'm 6ft, slim, strong, full head of hair, handsome and speak the language.

My wife is a former model.

Yep, we get great nods of approval by Thais and regular looks of envy.

Lastly, it sickens me seeing the old geezer with the significantly younger girl and kid in tow.

If you're past it, don't breed.

My feelings; breeding is for those under 50.

Age difference max is 15 years.

There's my answer Helmsman.

[MaeJoMTB]

I wouldn't want my child associating with luk krueng children from a lower social standing.

My wife is a former model.

I'm 6ft, slim, strong, full head of hair, handsome and speak the language.

Yep, we get great nods of approval by Thais and regular looks of envy.

555, you can't make this stuff up!

[brewsterbudgen]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

I'm in part agreement with the OP.

There's a guy who lives near me in Hua Hin is 68 and has a 6 month old daughter.

I'm not saying that if you're older you can't be a great dad, but people should consider how fair it is on the child when the father is so old.

I lost one of my parents when I was ten years old, not because of old age, but nonetheless for any child to lose one of their parents is a truly traumatic experience and having a child in your 60s obviously dramatically increases the risk of your son or daughter growing up without a dad for a large part of their childhood.

There's more to it than simply being able to financially support your child.

it's OK to say you've got money in the bank but fatherhood is much more than that.

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

My dad was 50 (and mum 40) when I was born, can't say anyone ever commented on his age to me.

I didn't really think about my friends fathers ages either, didn't really think about their dads at all.

Nor did any of the bullies.

When you're a kid, over 30 is old, no need to think any more about it.

What is going on with all these guys fantasizing about other peoples fathers ages?

It's a non-event!

My dad was 54 and my mum 41 when I was born. They had both died before my 17th birthday. For as long as I could remember, my dad was in poor health. So all you older guys thinking of having children when you're in your 50's or older, think of what your children will miss out on if you take ill - a cousin died from a heart attack when in his late 40's though he had no children.

Alan

My son would have missed out on a lot more if I hadn't have had him!

[Jonmarleesco]

'The foreigners I interact here, who earn good money, would never consider having a child at 50. Never.' Good for them ... and you, I'm sure. But don't knock what you self-evidently know damn all about.

[Ki Po]

20 minus is way to young to father a child. not settled -no 100% certain income. no life expirience.
30 - 20 settling getting over the first 2 divorces. have to pay for the 2 brads. not afford kids.

40-30 lost house due to above - still fighting to get the 3rd "hole" out of ya life. lucky no kids to pay to either.

50-40 now we are getting somewhere - no western yelling brad - "digging" some nice young thais - lured for ya money - new start.

60-50 shaken off the previous - found a low life who.. ehm lady at 30 - it swings - settling in "Ban Chiang Ding Dong" - found some equal aged m8s -

70-60 getting a kid b4 its to l8 now we are talking - thats life.

Selfish ya buts my life - so buggle off.

[MaeJoMTB]

It's a shame SE Asia lures expats who are mid to lower tier specimens...then they think they have the right to breed, worse as an old geezer.

You need to tell us what "tier" you consider yourself to be in, why you are in that tier, and what defines each tier.

I'm assuming you have a postgraduate degree of some sort, and/or maybe an income that isn't dependent on working ........ a title?

Edited April 25, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[HLover]

69 is the latest age, of course.

[Spaniel]

I wouldn't want my child associating with luk krueng children from a lower social standing.

My wife is a former model.

I'm 6ft, slim, strong, full head of hair, handsome and speak the language.

Yep, we get great nods of approval by Thais and regular looks of envy.

555, you can't make this stuff up!

Blackfox,

Would it be asking too much for you to post a pic of you and your wife? Then we can post our approval too.

[ttthailand]

Age means little. Today it is money that matters much more. If you are a young or old farang who can not afford to live on his own and stays with his in-laws to make ends meet you should not have kids.

The older guy who can provide for his family and has time to spend with his children is in demand. Thais who have grown up poor understand this and thus avoid the young dreamers for husbands. If the young guy has money and is not a player then he may be the pick but without money he has no value.

I would guess that most of the posts saying older guys are wrong and should not have children are from young people.

[MaeJoMTB]

Age means little. Today it is money that matters much more. If you are a young or old farang who can not afford to live on his own and stays with his in-laws to make ends meet you should not have kids.

The older guy who can provide for his family and has time to spend with his children is in demand. Thais who have grown up poor understand this and thus avoid the young dreamers for husbands. If the young guy has money and is not a player then he may be the pick but without money he has no value.

I would guess that most of the posts saying older guys are wrong and should not have children are from young people.

Young poor people.

[Gecko123]

Helmsman,

In answer to your questions;

No, not jealous.

Financially secure to raise a family.

Can point and shoot.

You are wrong on all counts so I'll give you reasoning.

1st: The education system is shitful in this country. It would mean taking my family back to my home country for a far better education, standard of life, and opportunity.

I see it as a duty having the western passport to provide the BEST opportunity for a child. The best opportunities are abroad, not here.

2nd: My wife is 7 years younger from a very good family here in BKK.

I wouldn't want my child associating with luk krueng children from a lower social standing.

This is very difficult as I don't know many expats with a wife of the same class.

I know what you're thinking, but it's how I feel and each person, as has been previously stated, is entitled to their opinion.

3rd: My wife and I don't need a child to be any happier than we already are.

I'm 45 soon. I love my wife and life just the way it is.

If a child comes along, then it's a huge game changer, but we have discussed and planned accordingly.

My wife and I do a lot of business around town and not once have we been viewed in bad light.

I'm 6ft, slim, strong, full head of hair, handsome and speak the language.

My wife is a former model.

Yep, we get great nods of approval by Thais and regular looks of envy.

Lastly, it sickens me seeing the old geezer with the significantly younger girl and kid in tow.

If you're past it, don't breed.

My feelings; breeding is for those under 50.

Age difference max is 15 years.

There's my answer Helmsman.

This post made me realize how rarely I have to deal with arrogant, narcissistic, pretentious, wannabe elitists and classist snobs here in Thailand.

God, I love this country!

[YeahSiam]

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And on the note of age-gap which some other members have mentioned.

I think anything up to 10 years is fine, though if the woman is 10 years older there may be some sex drive problems, since men tend to have a higher sex drive by nature.

If the age gap goes over 10 years, then I think 15 years is the absolute maximum, in any case. After that, it starts to seem seriously abnormal and probably dysfunctional, in most cases. There may be a few rare exceptions.

If I were with a woman 20 years younger or more, i would feel a little ashamed in front of my family "back home".

Since this topic is about fathering children, one important thing to consider: how will your child feel in a family where Dad is so much older than Mum? Could it result in bullying at school or in the neighbourhood? Emotional damage? Feeling like he or she belongs to a weird family?

An important thing one learns as an adult is not to care to much what others think of you. You seem to be lacking in that department.

And you're kidding yourself if you think

that the opinion of others don't impact

upon your life. Those opinions may not

necessarily be voiced but they can and

do colour the way in which people

interact with you. Like it or not, a 60 year

old marrying and breeding with a 21 year

old will raise eyebrows anywhere. Some

of those eyebrows will be attached to

people who will be minded to treat him

and his wife less well than they would

treat others.

The old man might not care but you can

bet your bottom dollar that his 21 year

old wife will be dying of shame inside and

avoiding eye contact with other Thais.

[ttthailand]

Considering that a huge percentage of Thai kids are being raised by their grandmothers makes this topic almost meaningless.

At least in most farang Thai marriages the kids at least see their mothers everyday and has a father. Many Thai kids only see their mothers a few times a year and the fathers almost never.

Edited April 25, 2015 by ttthailand

[YeahSiam]

Age means little. Today it is money that matters much more. If you are a young or old farang who can not afford to live on his own and stays with his in-laws to make ends meet you should not have kids.

The older guy who can provide for his family and has time to spend with his children is in demand. Thais who have grown up poor understand this and thus avoid the young dreamers for husbands. If the young guy has money and is not a player then he may be the pick but without money he has no value.

I would guess that most of the posts saying older guys are wrong and should not have children are from young people.

You mply that younger guys have no

money but that's so much nonsense.

Not every young guy is an English

teacher struggling by on 30k. Bangkok

is literally heaving with young western

guys earning good money and the girls

they date would sooner choose to be

beheaded than marry or breed with a

crusty old man for access to scraps

from a 50,000 baht a month fixed income