Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

This topic has been done to death on this forum but basically I've lived here for 6 years with my partner, we now have 2 kids, the eldest has been in K1 in a good international school in Bangkok since last September.

As somebody already said, your job as a parent is to make sure your kids are safe, happy, healthy and well educated. If you think that applies to your children being raised somewhere in Thailand then I would argue against all points because this country is far more dangerous and toxic for kids than my home country.

We are planning to move to the UK in a few months and my eldest will start a UK first school in year 1 in September. To be honest I cannot wait for them to start growing up in the UK, not because of the schooling but because of the social side of it more than anything. I loved growing up in the UK and I want my kids to have the same experience. Every time we go back to the UK and I see my kids doing the same things I used to do and having friends there it makes me really happy. All of the time we are in Thailand just feels like we are wasting time and my kids are not really having a life here, everything feels like a cheap pale imitation of what can be had in the UK.

And for whoever said that the family/social bond here is so strong, then I would also argue against that as I don't see Thai kids being raised with any sort of affection or compassion here and I believe it has a big effect on them when they are adults. My wife's sister and cousin both work in Bangkok and their kids are raised by their mothers back in the village, whenever the real mothers are with their kids they seem like they barely care or spend any time with their children when they can, whenever they leave them again for 6 months they hardly even say goodbye or seem emotional at all. Not once have I seen my wife's parents hug, kiss or generally show any kind of affection to her or her siblings, and the same goes for all the families I got to know when I lived in their Isaan village. Maybe it is just Isaan.

And you can say that you will raise your kids in your own way and mould them to your values and ethics but the fact is all of their friends and peers will not have been raised that way and they will most likely have a bigger impact on their upbringing and lives than you think. If you are not a qualified teacher how exactly are you going to make up for the inadequate Thai educational system here? Do you know how to assess your student and what they need or do you just think that because you went to a Western school that you can remember everything that you were taught and how to teach it to someone else for 14 years? What if you are no longer here for some reason, what would happen to your kids seeing as you have taken it upon yourself to solely make up for all that is missing here.

I think that a lot of people who choose to raise their kids here are only doing it because truthfully they want to stay in Thailand themselves so they are overlooking all of the serious flaws with this country. Have you ever heard anyone in the UK say "I really wish I could take our kids to Thailand so they could get a really good safe upbringing and a great education that will really benefit them in life"?

I'm not trying to troll or be harsh to anyone already posted in this thread, I'm just posting my thoughts after 4 years of serious consideration about whether to raise my kids in Thailand and the UK, in the end the UK was the obviously choice for me for dozens of reasons but I couldn't really think of one compelling reason for them to chance growing up here.

Agree, except it's normal for Thai/Isaan's not to express any affection especially publicly. It's a cultural thing. If your wife kisses and hugs you then it's something learnt by being together and probably because it's more your tradition, if you will forgive me being presumptuous about your relationship :-) Hugging in public especially overtly is frowned upon. If that's considered a repression of emotions then perhaps but they also love in ways other than Western. I've only seen Thai's do that outside of their own country where they don't feel judged.

  • Replies 154
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Good on you, Linzz.

Someone who has actually seen the truth and acted upon it.

"...seen the truth...."

OMG, what rhetoric! cheesy.gif.pagespeed.ce.HaOxm9--ZvISAZ3- alt=cheesy.gif width=32 height=20>

Far be it from me to judge anyone WB, just giving my experience as truthfully as I could from another country considering most posts here are from inside Thailand and asking for information regarding education inside and outside Thailand. I hoped it was a useful contribution, glad someone appreciated it

Posted

This topic has been done to death on this forum but basically I've lived here for 6 years with my partner, we now have 2 kids, the eldest has been in K1 in a good international school in Bangkok since last September.

As somebody already said, your job as a parent is to make sure your kids are safe, happy, healthy and well educated. If you think that applies to your children being raised somewhere in Thailand then I would argue against all points because this country is far more dangerous and toxic for kids than my home country.

We are planning to move to the UK in a few months and my eldest will start a UK first school in year 1 in September. To be honest I cannot wait for them to start growing up in the UK, not because of the schooling but because of the social side of it more than anything. I loved growing up in the UK and I want my kids to have the same experience. Every time we go back to the UK and I see my kids doing the same things I used to do and having friends there it makes me really happy. All of the time we are in Thailand just feels like we are wasting time and my kids are not really having a life here, everything feels like a cheap pale imitation of what can be had in the UK.

And for whoever said that the family/social bond here is so strong, then I would also argue against that as I don't see Thai kids being raised with any sort of affection or compassion here and I believe it has a big effect on them when they are adults. My wife's sister and cousin both work in Bangkok and their kids are raised by their mothers back in the village, whenever the real mothers are with their kids they seem like they barely care or spend any time with their children when they can, whenever they leave them again for 6 months they hardly even say goodbye or seem emotional at all. Not once have I seen my wife's parents hug, kiss or generally show any kind of affection to her or her siblings, and the same goes for all the families I got to know when I lived in their Isaan village. Maybe it is just Isaan.

And you can say that you will raise your kids in your own way and mould them to your values and ethics but the fact is all of their friends and peers will not have been raised that way and they will most likely have a bigger impact on their upbringing and lives than you think. If you are not a qualified teacher how exactly are you going to make up for the inadequate Thai educational system here? Do you know how to assess your student and what they need or do you just think that because you went to a Western school that you can remember everything that you were taught and how to teach it to someone else for 14 years? What if you are no longer here for some reason, what would happen to your kids seeing as you have taken it upon yourself to solely make up for all that is missing here.

I think that a lot of people who choose to raise their kids here are only doing it because truthfully they want to stay in Thailand themselves so they are overlooking all of the serious flaws with this country. Have you ever heard anyone in the UK say "I really wish I could take our kids to Thailand so they could get a really good safe upbringing and a great education that will really benefit them in life"?

I'm not trying to troll or be harsh to anyone already posted in this thread, I'm just posting my thoughts after 4 years of serious consideration about whether to raise my kids in Thailand and the UK, in the end the UK was the obviously choice for me for dozens of reasons but I couldn't really think of one compelling reason for them to chance growing up here.

Agree, except it's normal for Thai/Isaan's not to express any affection especially publicly. It's a cultural thing. If your wife kisses and hugs you then it's something learnt by being together and probably because it's more your tradition, if you will forgive me being presumptuous about your relationship :-) Hugging in public especially overtly is frowned upon. If that's considered a repression of emotions then perhaps but they also love in ways other than Western. I've only seen Thai's do that outside of their own country where they don't feel judged.

Yes and that is exactly my point. What kind of effect does it have on a child's emotional upbringing when their parents don't show any affection to them? I know that my wifes parents love their kids dearly but they show it materialistically by cooking them a nice meal or throwing them a big party or giving them money for support, not once by hugging them or saying I love you no matter what is happening.

My wife was quite robotic with our first born at first and I put that down to because of how I see her parents are with her. She would never talk to him or hug him or nurture him and I had to tell her to do those things to our baby and now she is much closer with our kids than her friends seem with theirs.

If you hadn't seen your baby in 6 months then I would expect an overly emotional reunion and to spend as much time with the baby as you could showering it with love and affection every minute you had together, but what I see from every one here in that situation is barely an acknowledgment of the baby's existence and then just leaving without even saying goodbye to the kid. In fact I show much more affection to my niece and nephews when I see them than their parents do and it's really odd for me. It's this sort of thing that I miss about the UK: it may be normal here but it is not normal for us and I don't think the way things are here are better, my kids are much better socially and emotionally mature than any other Thai kids that we know.

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Good on you, Linzz.

Someone who has actually seen the truth and acted upon it.

"...seen the truth...."

OMG, what rhetoric! cheesy.gif.pagespeed.ce.HaOxm9--ZvISAZ3- alt=cheesy.gif width=32 height=20>

Far be it from me to judge anyone WB, just giving my experience as truthfully as I could from another country considering most posts here are from inside Thailand and asking for information regarding education inside and outside Thailand. I hoped it was a useful contribution, glad someone appreciated it

Yes Linzz, that's why I didn't say anything to you. Your posts seem non-judgmental and not what i would call rhetoric. I was talking to KarenBravo, not you.

Unless you are the same person with 2 usernames and that would be very sad.

Posted

This topic has been done to death on this forum but basically I've lived here for 6 years with my partner, we now have 2 kids, the eldest has been in K1 in a good international school in Bangkok since last September.

As somebody already said, your job as a parent is to make sure your kids are safe, happy, healthy and well educated. If you think that applies to your children being raised somewhere in Thailand then I would argue against all points because this country is far more dangerous and toxic for kids than my home country.

We are planning to move to the UK in a few months and my eldest will start a UK first school in year 1 in September. To be honest I cannot wait for them to start growing up in the UK, not because of the schooling but because of the social side of it more than anything. I loved growing up in the UK and I want my kids to have the same experience. Every time we go back to the UK and I see my kids doing the same things I used to do and having friends there it makes me really happy. All of the time we are in Thailand just feels like we are wasting time and my kids are not really having a life here, everything feels like a cheap pale imitation of what can be had in the UK.

And for whoever said that the family/social bond here is so strong, then I would also argue against that as I don't see Thai kids being raised with any sort of affection or compassion here and I believe it has a big effect on them when they are adults. My wife's sister and cousin both work in Bangkok and their kids are raised by their mothers back in the village, whenever the real mothers are with their kids they seem like they barely care or spend any time with their children when they can, whenever they leave them again for 6 months they hardly even say goodbye or seem emotional at all. Not once have I seen my wife's parents hug, kiss or generally show any kind of affection to her or her siblings, and the same goes for all the families I got to know when I lived in their Isaan village. Maybe it is just Isaan.

And you can say that you will raise your kids in your own way and mould them to your values and ethics but the fact is all of their friends and peers will not have been raised that way and they will most likely have a bigger impact on their upbringing and lives than you think. If you are not a qualified teacher how exactly are you going to make up for the inadequate Thai educational system here? Do you know how to assess your student and what they need or do you just think that because you went to a Western school that you can remember everything that you were taught and how to teach it to someone else for 14 years? What if you are no longer here for some reason, what would happen to your kids seeing as you have taken it upon yourself to solely make up for all that is missing here.

I think that a lot of people who choose to raise their kids here are only doing it because truthfully they want to stay in Thailand themselves so they are overlooking all of the serious flaws with this country. Have you ever heard anyone in the UK say "I really wish I could take our kids to Thailand so they could get a really good safe upbringing and a great education that will really benefit them in life"?

I'm not trying to troll or be harsh to anyone already posted in this thread, I'm just posting my thoughts after 4 years of serious consideration about whether to raise my kids in Thailand and the UK, in the end the UK was the obviously choice for me for dozens of reasons but I couldn't really think of one compelling reason for them to chance growing up here.

Agree, except it's normal for Thai/Isaan's not to express any affection especially publicly. It's a cultural thing. If your wife kisses and hugs you then it's something learnt by being together and probably because it's more your tradition, if you will forgive me being presumptuous about your relationship :-) Hugging in public especially overtly is frowned upon. If that's considered a repression of emotions then perhaps but they also love in ways other than Western. I've only seen Thai's do that outside of their own country where they don't feel judged.

Yes and that is exactly my point. What kind of effect does it have on a child's emotional upbringing when their parents don't show any affection to them? I know that my wifes parents love their kids dearly but they show it materialistically by cooking them a nice meal or throwing them a big party or giving them money for support, not once by hugging them or saying I love you no matter what is happening.

My wife was quite robotic with our first born at first and I put that down to because of how I see her parents are with her. She would never talk to him or hug him or nurture him and I had to tell her to do those things to our baby and now she is much closer with our kids than her friends seem with theirs.

If you hadn't seen your baby in 6 months then I would expect an overly emotional reunion and to spend as much time with the baby as you could showering it with love and affection every minute you had together, but what I see from every one here in that situation is barely an acknowledgment of the baby's existence and then just leaving without even saying goodbye to the kid. In fact I show much more affection to my niece and nephews when I see them than their parents do and it's really odd for me. It's this sort of thing that I miss about the UK: it may be normal here but it is not normal for us and I don't think the way things are here are better, my kids are much better socially and emotionally mature than any other Thai kids that we know.

I totally understand Kunmatt and I agree, but I'm trying to understand it. Maybe this phenomenon is what you get in poorer country areas where necessity often dictates family separation and consequently emotional separation as well. A healthy family is not just about money even if that is what the majority believe.Then again no social security system so the emphasis is always going to be about survival. However you probably will be able to quote parts of the world where circumstances are the same but the equation, traditions and out come is different.

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Good on you, Linzz.

Someone who has actually seen the truth and acted upon it.

"...seen the truth...."

OMG, what rhetoric! cheesy.gif.pagespeed.ce.HaOxm9--ZvISAZ3- alt=cheesy.gif width=32 height=20>

Far be it from me to judge anyone WB, just giving my experience as truthfully as I could from another country considering most posts here are from inside Thailand and asking for information regarding education inside and outside Thailand. I hoped it was a useful contribution, glad someone appreciated it

Yes Linzz, that's why I didn't say anything to you. Your posts seem non-judgmental and not what i would call rhetoric. I was talking to KarenBravo, not you.

Unless you are the same person with 2 usernames and that would be very sad.

Haha! Definitely not!

Posted

To be fair, Karenbravo's views are no doubt based on her own experience of education in Thailand and this is possibly rather limited, or, perhaps more likely, she's buying into a lot of the anti-Thai feeling that is continually posted on ThaiVisa!

Posted

To be fair, Karenbravo's views are no doubt based on her own experience of education in Thailand and this is possibly rather limited, or, perhaps more likely, she's buying into a lot of the anti-Thai feeling that is continually posted on ThaiVisa!

It is true that there is a lot of anti-Thai feeling and cynicism on this site. Perhaps a lot have had bad experiences and disappointments of their own making (or not) and this is a place they can vent which is probably a good thing

Posted (edited)

OK, KarenBravo

I will just try to reply to all your posts here since i can't quote all the different things you have said.

I don't advocate that we shouldn't educate our kids, but that we should do it differently. See post #46 for what that means, in my humble opinion. And there ain't a single country in the world doing that.

Being educated in the west doesn't necessarily offer a better future. It is arrogant to think so. Asian people are doing fine, in case you haven't noticed.

There is more creativity here. More business owners. More entrepreneurs. People in the the west are largely owned by the system. They are told, "You can't start a business, you have to join a business". And they reply, "OK, boss!". Hows that for critical thinking, Karen? Their schooling as turned them into mindless drones.

Frankly, you can see way more clever thinking from Thais, than westerners.

Your whole attitude is arrogant: We keep our children here selfishly. We should never have had kid with a particular woman. We should never have married her. etc etc.

Why don't you just take care of your own family and stop judging others for having children in Thailand and not fleeing back to where we came from for so-called education.

Come down off your high-horse for a second. Did you fail your own child and that's why you have to attack us to make yourself feel better? Otherwise, why do you attack us?

I don't think there is anything wrong with going back west to have your child schooled. I don't judge you. I just don't see it as you do.

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

I'm not talking about "Asian people", I'm talking about Thailand and the Thais. If you can school your kids in South Korea, Singapore, or Japan, countries where education is valued, then great. But, isn't it easier and less expensive to educate them in your own Western country?

More entrepreneurs? Yup....you're right. Lot's of people with noodle-carts etc. etc.

If there are all these entrepreneurs in Asia, where is the Asian versions of Microsoft, Apple etc. World class companies? Oh yes, they all come from South Korea, Japan and Taiwan.

In fact, I can only think of a single world class Thai company and that is the rather low-tech Charoen Pokphand.

Yes, I will judge you, because I know that if I had children I would want the best education that I could possibly get for them. And that ain't in Thailand, unless you go to an international school, and I would act accordingly. Shell out the dough, or, go home to my own country.

Funny how guilty feelings always turn into anger when a stranger points out that they're being selfish at the expense of their children.

I know you don't want to hear it, but, that's just tough. This is a public forum. Learn to use the scroll bar, if you must.

In twenty years when your kids are grown up and you look at them, you will know that I am right.

Edited by KarenBravo
Posted

Wonder how many parents are sacrificing their children's education and future, just because of their selfish desire to live in Thailand at any cost?

You all must know that your children will get a head start in life if educated in a developed country, presumably, your own.

Don't agree with that at all.

There is no need for people's children to study in a 3rd rate Thai school.

As was pointed out by Happy Grumpy, it is cheap and easy for students to study international courses and exams in small groups.

Generally 8 students.

Compared to a full class of kids in a school 'at home'.

I would go on, but you come across as just a troll, aggressively poking people with incorrect information.

What rubbish.

It still doesn't come up to the standard of an education in the West. Without a qualified (as in the Western idea of qualified) teacher, it's just pissing into the wind.

Very poor troll. Do try harder.

Why is your troll so obsessed on other people's children? Sounds like a worrying interest. ph34r.png

Posted

A picture is worth a thousand words; well I count at least a thousand students taking this standardized test wai2.gif

post-192774-0-20731300-1430200202_thumb.

Posted

To be fair, Karenbravo's views are no doubt based on her own experience of education in Thailand and this is possibly rather limited, or, perhaps more likely, she's buying into a lot of the anti-Thai feeling that is continually posted on ThaiVisa!

It is true that there is a lot of anti-Thai feeling and cynicism on this site. Perhaps a lot have had bad experiences and disappointments of their own making (or not) and this is a place they can vent which is probably a good thing

I think Karenbravo's points are quite valid, although they are delivered somewhat directly and harshly. Some may not appreciate what appears to be direct criticism.

IF I could not afford to send my Son to an International School I would seriously consider a move back to the UK. I have friends who've negotiated with their companies for International Schooling fees to be paid (otherwise they'd move back to the UK).

I don't believe a government school in Thailand is as good as a government school in the UK - this is why a good Private School or International School is the best option for those who wish to remain in Thailand.

Of course, not everyone is in the same situation, some can't leave, some have nothing to go home to - a happier life here maybe better for the child even if the education is worse.

I do suspect that some people who could move home may selfishly remain in Thailand at the cost of educational development to their child. These very same people may use some of the more daft excuses to justify their choice (as we've seen on this thread already).

Posted

Perhaps it would be beneficial to the topic / thread if some can post first hand information and experiences vs costs etc.

My Son 16 months Old - Has started attending PlayGroup at Kids Academy Ekammai (accompanied by Mum) - 500 baht per session 9:30am to 11:30am (350 baht with Bambi discount). 2-3 days a week will be ideal.

Additional Options may be:

Pre-Kindergarten (Age 1.5 - 3 yrs) at Kids Academy Ekammai (08:30am to 1pm)

- Admission Fee: 50,000 baht

- 2 days per week: 59,500 baht per term

- 3 days per week: 69,500 baht per term

- 4 days per week: 85,500 baht per term

- 5 days per week: 98,500 baht per term

Kindergarden

- K1 (3-4 yrs) 5 days per week: 112,000 baht per term (08:30am to 2pm)

- K2 (4-5 yrs) 5 days per week: 114,500 baht per term (08:30am to 2pm)

This all seems rather costly for Pre-School - But, I'd like somewhere close by (Nr Ekammai / Rama IV) to cut down the travel time.

If you are sending your child to pre-school and have had a great experience, it would be extremely useful to mention it here.

Thx

Posted

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

I'm not talking about "Asian people", I'm talking about Thailand and the Thais. If you can school your kids in South Korea, Singapore, or Japan, countries where education is valued, then great. But, isn't it easier and less expensive to educate them in your own Western country?

More entrepreneurs? Yup....you're right. Lot's of people with noodle-carts etc. etc.

If there are all these entrepreneurs in Asia, where is the Asian versions of Microsoft, Apple etc. World class companies? Oh yes, they all come from South Korea, Japan and Taiwan.

In fact, I can only think of a single world class Thai company and that is the rather low-tech Charoen Pokphand.

Yes, I will judge you, because I know that if I had children I would want the best education that I could possibly get for them. And that ain't in Thailand, unless you go to an international school, and I would act accordingly. Shell out the dough, or, go home to my own country.

Funny how guilty feelings always turn into anger when a stranger points out that they're being selfish at the expense of their children.

I know you don't want to hear it, but, that's just tough. This is a public forum. Learn to use the scroll bar, if you must.

In twenty years when your kids are grown up and you look at them, you will know that I am right.

It's because most of the time when people make or participate in threads like this it's because all they want to hear are all of the positive bias that supports what they have already made up their mind about what they want to do, and whenever anyone tells them what doesn't fit in with their plan then they get upset and abusive because they know that they are wrong and the significant impact it has on them as a parent.

The amount that people want to gloss over here when it comes to their children's welfare is quite astonishing. When you tell them "Thailand is near the bottom of ALL of the ASEAN countries for educational standards" they say "It's OK, I will simply home school my kid for their entire school life to make up for it", when you tell them "75 people die on the roads in this country every day" they say "It's OK, my kid won't be riding around with his friends on a scooter without any protection without my knowledge", when you mention the instability and yearly deadly riots and coups they accuse you of being anti-Thai, and so on.

All you can do is point out the facts and your experience and if people want to get upset by the truth then that's up to them, it doesn't stop it being true. They have the choice and how their kid's lives turn out is completely determined by the educated decision that they make.

Posted

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

Posted

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

Always golden when grammar Nazis make more grammatical mistakes than the post they are complaining about. :)

Posted (edited)

Agree, except it's normal for Thai/Isaan's not to express any affection especially publicly. It's a cultural thing. If your wife kisses and hugs you then it's something learnt by being together and probably because it's more your tradition, if you will forgive me being presumptuous about your relationship :-) Hugging in public especially overtly is frowned upon. If that's considered a repression of emotions then perhaps but they also love in ways other than Western. I've only seen Thai's do that outside of their own country where they don't feel judged.

Yes and that is exactly my point. What kind of effect does it have on a child's emotional upbringing when their parents don't show any affection to them? I know that my wifes parents love their kids dearly but they show it materialistically by cooking them a nice meal or throwing them a big party or giving them money for support, not once by hugging them or saying I love you no matter what is happening.

My wife was quite robotic with our first born at first and I put that down to because of how I see her parents are with her. She would never talk to him or hug him or nurture him and I had to tell her to do those things to our baby and now she is much closer with our kids than her friends seem with theirs.

I was told that too, when I first came to Thailand.

It's not true. Down to the individual.

My wife, cuddles, holds hands and shows affection in public (and private), always has.

Tells my son 'I love you so much' and kisses him all the time.

Same for my teen daughter, cuddles, tells me she loves me, sits on my lap nearly every day.

In fact, much more than my family in the UK ever did.

The 'lack of affection' you have experienced is not because of Thai culture, but due to the woman you chose to be with.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
Posted (edited)

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

Always golden when grammar Nazis make more grammatical mistakes than the post they are complaining about. smile.png

One is a typing error, one is an educational error.

Missing a letter out of a word, "you *r*', no problem. Using the wrong word, "your replacing you are", big problem.

PS

Sorry to hear your wife shows you no affection, big hug from me in compensation.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
Posted

Agree, except it's normal for Thai/Isaan's not to express any affection especially publicly. It's a cultural thing. If your wife kisses and hugs you then it's something learnt by being together and probably because it's more your tradition, if you will forgive me being presumptuous about your relationship :-) Hugging in public especially overtly is frowned upon. If that's considered a repression of emotions then perhaps but they also love in ways other than Western. I've only seen Thai's do that outside of their own country where they don't feel judged.

Yes and that is exactly my point. What kind of effect does it have on a child's emotional upbringing when their parents don't show any affection to them? I know that my wifes parents love their kids dearly but they show it materialistically by cooking them a nice meal or throwing them a big party or giving them money for support, not once by hugging them or saying I love you no matter what is happening.

My wife was quite robotic with our first born at first and I put that down to because of how I see her parents are with her. She would never talk to him or hug him or nurture him and I had to tell her to do those things to our baby and now she is much closer with our kids than her friends seem with theirs.

I was told that too, when I first came to Thailand.

It's not true. Down to the individual.

My wife, cuddles, holds hands and shows affection in public (and private), always has.

Tells my son 'I love you so much' and kisses him all the time.

Same for my teen daughter, cuddles, tells me she loves me, sits on my lap nearly every day.

In fact, much more than my family in the UK ever did.

The 'lack of affection' you have experienced is not because of Thai culture, but due to the woman you chose to be with.

If you had the read the earlier post you would know I said the lack of affection towards kids is what I saw in every family I knew in the village we lived in for a few years, and I also talked about her sister and cousin in the post you quoted.

Posted (edited)

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

I'm not talking about "Asian people", I'm talking about Thailand and the Thais. If you can school your kids in South Korea, Singapore, or Japan, countries where education is valued, then great. But, isn't it easier and less expensive to educate them in your own Western country?

More entrepreneurs? Yup....you're right. Lot's of people with noodle-carts etc. etc.

If there are all these entrepreneurs in Asia, where is the Asian versions of Microsoft, Apple etc. World class companies? Oh yes, they all come from South Korea, Japan and Taiwan.

In fact, I can only think of a single world class Thai company and that is the rather low-tech Charoen Pokphand.

Yes, I will judge you, because I know that if I had children I would want the best education that I could possibly get for them. And that ain't in Thailand, unless you go to an international school, and I would act accordingly. Shell out the dough, or, go home to my own country.

Funny how guilty feelings always turn into anger when a stranger points out that they're being selfish at the expense of their children.

I know you don't want to hear it, but, that's just tough. This is a public forum. Learn to use the scroll bar, if you must.

In twenty years when your kids are grown up and you look at them, you will know that I am right.

It's because most of the time when people make or participate in threads like this it's because all they want to hear are all of the positive bias that supports what they have already made up their mind about what they want to do, and whenever anyone tells them what doesn't fit in with their plan then they get upset and abusive because they know that they are wrong and the significant impact it has on them as a parent.

The amount that people want to gloss over here when it comes to their children's welfare is quite astonishing. When you tell them "Thailand is near the bottom of ALL of the ASEAN countries for educational standards" they say "It's OK, I will simply home school my kid for their entire school life to make up for it", when you tell them "75 people die on the roads in this country every day" they say "It's OK, my kid won't be riding around with his friends on a scooter without any protection without my knowledge", when you mention the instability and yearly deadly riots and coups they accuse you of being anti-Thai, and so on.

All you can do is point out the facts and your experience and if people want to get upset by the truth then that's up to them, it doesn't stop it being true. They have the choice and how their kid's lives turn out is completely determined by the educated decision that they make.

The trouble is what is "the truth"? Sure Thailand ranks rather low in education (like the USA), but that doesn't mean every student gets a bad education. I work with many Thai university graduates who are studying for a Masters degree, and quite a few of them are products of Thai schools. Sure, they don't always have great critical thinking faculties, but they are bright, eager to learn and many get accepted by western universities for their Masters. Blanket condemnations and antagonistic comments are great fun on Forums but say more about the people making them than the point they are trying to make.

Edited by brewsterbudgen
Posted

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

Always golden when grammar Nazis make more grammatical mistakes than the post they are complaining about. smile.png

One is a typing error, one is an educational error.

Missing a letter out of a word, "you *r*', no problem. Using the wrong word, "your replacing you are", big problem.

PS

Sorry to hear your wife shows you no affection, big hug from me in compensation.

So was your use of countries' a typo or an educational error?

Posted

If you had the read the earlier post you would know I said the lack of affection towards kids is what I saw in every family I knew in the village we lived in for a few years, and I also talked about her sister and cousin in the post you quoted.

Well, I live in a road full of middle class Thais, not some rural backwoods hell hole.

Almost every family has young children, and every evening they can be seen out in the street getting cuddles and hugs from parent, grandparents and assorted family members. Mine too.

Posted (edited)

So was your use of countries' a typo or an educational error?

Educational, British schools are rubbish, but then I'm not claiming any different, and you are.

Thai schools are fit for purpose, training obedience.

British schools, not sure what they're good for these days .......... training Muslim ISIS terrorists?

Edited by MaeJoMTB
Posted

So was your use of countries' a typo or an educational error?

Educational, British schools are rubbish, but then I'm not claiming any different, and you are.

You are missing the point that you started. You do realise that the word "countries'" as you wrote it is completely the wrong term to use, right?

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>


Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

True

She probably hasn't even watched the videos i linked.

The reason why no other county has done it isn't because it isn't much good, it's because we seem incapable of changing our paradigms to that extent.

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

True

She probably hasn't even watched the videos i linked.

The reason why no other county has done it isn't because it isn't much good, it's because we seem incapable of changing our paradigms to that extent.

I suspect KB is an ancient white dude, at least 65, probably 70+.

Posted

OK, KarenBravo

I will just try to reply to all your posts here since i can't quote all the different things you have said.

I don't advocate that we shouldn't educate our kids, but that we should do it differently. See post #46 for what that means, in my humble opinion. And there ain't a single country in the world doing that.

Being educated in the west doesn't necessarily offer a better future. It is arrogant to think so. Asian people are doing fine, in case you haven't noticed.

There is more creativity here. More business owners. More entrepreneurs. People in the the west are largely owned by the system. They are told, "You can't start a business, you have to join a business". And they reply, "OK, boss!". Hows that for critical thinking, Karen? Their schooling as turned them into mindless drones.

Frankly, you can see way more clever thinking from Thais, than westerners.

Your whole attitude is arrogant: We keep our children here selfishly. We should never have had kid with a particular woman. We should never have married her. etc etc.

Why don't you just take care of your own family and stop judging others for having children in Thailand and not fleeing back to where we came from for so-called education.

Come down off your high-horse for a second. Did you fail your own child and that's why you have to attack us to make yourself feel better? Otherwise, why do you attack us?

I don't think there is anything wrong with going back west to have your child schooled. I don't judge you. I just don't see it as you do.

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

I'm not talking about "Asian people", I'm talking about Thailand and the Thais. If you can school your kids in South Korea, Singapore, or Japan, countries where education is valued, then great. But, isn't it easier and less expensive to educate them in your own Western country?

More entrepreneurs? Yup....you're right. Lot's of people with noodle-carts etc. etc.

If there are all these entrepreneurs in Asia, where is the Asian versions of Microsoft, Apple etc. World class companies? Oh yes, they all come from South Korea, Japan and Taiwan.

In fact, I can only think of a single world class Thai company and that is the rather low-tech Charoen Pokphand.

Yes, I will judge you, because I know that if I had children I would want the best education that I could possibly get for them. And that ain't in Thailand, unless you go to an international school, and I would act accordingly. Shell out the dough, or, go home to my own country.

Funny how guilty feelings always turn into anger when a stranger points out that they're being selfish at the expense of their children.

I know you don't want to hear it, but, that's just tough. This is a public forum. Learn to use the scroll bar, if you must.

In twenty years when your kids are grown up and you look at them, you will know that I am right.

What's wrong with noodle-carts? They make decent money, don't you know? I know some making 50K+ with their own small food business. We don't need so many world class companies.

Classic. This just keeps getting better and better. You don't even have children, yet you are telling other members they shouldn't have married this woman and had kids with that woman. You blame them for their kids getting poor education because of their partner selection. And, you wonder why someone gets offended?

Please tell. Why don't you have children?

I don't feel guilty. My daughter has a standard of living and quality of life here, which i couldn't provide in my own country. All the people i know live in rough council estates and struggle on minimum wage. Where did their education get them?

Posted

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Oh dear. Your offended.

Educating your kids differently? And then you say that no other country does it. I wonder why? Maybe because it isn't much good?

Oh dear,

Seems that you countries' education system wasn't quite as good as you imagined!

True

She probably hasn't even watched the videos i linked.

The reason why no other county has done it isn't because it isn't much good, it's because we seem incapable of changing our paradigms to that extent.

I suspect KB is an ancient white dude, at least 65, probably 70+.

I thought it was a woman!, LOL

Posted (edited)

What's wrong with noodle-carts? They make decent money, don't you know? I know some making 50K+ with their own small food business. We don't need so many world class companies.

I'm aiming my son towards a hiking/mountain biking/trekking tourist business of his own in CM.

He needs high school + tour guide certificates, pickup truck, half a dozen MTBs.

Not sure it'll make a lot of money, but it's outdoors, should be fun, and he'll have a lot of sex with young foreign female backpackers.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
Posted

“Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: 'You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society.”
Doris Lessing, The Golden Notebook

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.




×
×
  • Create New...