My first proper date with a Thai girl - What's your thoughts?

[jamiejoel]

ok, in my honest opinion here are some thoughts.

1. You found her on a dating site. So she has probably been on many dates with foreigners just wanting free quick sex once you have the sex, you may lose interest.

2. She can find more dates in Pattaya than in CM, if she is looking for a white BF

3. If she is a student you would have to wonder who is paying for the braces.... Yes it could be family or her savings or a nice ex date.

4. Feeding you... yuk, someone has told her this is romantic.

As for the fat and smoking comment well don't take it personally. Thai people do not consider talking about weight as an issue. Often a stranger will come up to me and say YOU ARE CHUBBY.. after living here 13 years it is not meant to offend. The smoking bit, well I can't comment as I have never been stupid enough to try it.

Hope that helps, but I guess you have a million comments to read

JJ

[F4UCorsair]

What's a Thai woman's definition of a foreign man?

A dildo with a wallet.

I recall a Cambodian bird 'feeding' me once, only one spoonful, at a punlic gathering. There was a lot of cheering, so I asked another foreign guy the significance. He said it was part of the courting process, and 'feeding' a guy signified I was her man. I knew she was keen on me because a work colleague of hers had told me, an almost westerm school girlish thing, but they do have what we would see as an old fashioned courting system, chaperone/s etc., for the first few outings.

Take that info for what it's worth. Others knowledge and/or experience may indicate otherwise.

Edited May 5, 2015 by F4UCorsair

[theonetrueaussie]

Like dating women from any country keep your eyes open, The no sex thing means absolutely nothing. I live in phuket and I know a girl that was dating an older guy who spent tons of money on her, took her to islands and out to fancy restaurants but he wanted to wait a month and she said she did too, but when she left his house she was straight round to mine

She lives in pattaya and speaks english which is warning signs enough, if you want to find a nice girl move to bangkok and find someone that has a really good job but won't be easy, normally anything that comes easy here is not worth it for a long term relationship!!

[diginomad]

Wow - some really good feedback.

Some really solid advice from a number of people and I thank you guys for that.

Worst case scenario is that I have a benchmark to work with when it comes to meeting other girls.

on the plus side, she did make me feel warm and welcome and was quite a cheerful, fun girl to be around, but some of the negatives need to be taken into consideration too.

I do however find it strange that 2 people thought my post was a troll post and 1 guy wants to connect with this girl - lol

Have a great day in Sunny Thailand folks! and thanks again for all the feedback, it is very much appreciated :-)

You know what it sounds like? It sounds - pretty obviously - like the only reason you came to Thailand, was hoping that some woman would like you.

I'm sorry, but that's how it sounds...no mention of anything else in your posts, about an entirely new culture. You have horse-blinders on, to the extreme.

It's not that you'd be the first. But, I can't think of anything a woman (worth meeting) would respect less than that.

Respect yourself more, to begin with. Women in Thailand can spot that desperation in a heartbeat, and you're setting yourself up bad - not just with this woman, but all of them.

Ah, yes I can certainly see how it appears but the discussion was about a girl I met and not about my intentions in Thailand.

I don't think my back story would assist in this, but if you think it would I will oblige - I was married for 7 years, no kids, I called it quits for reasons I don't really want to get into.

Seeing as the UK was never my "home" to begin with I went back to South Africa for a year and found that I no longer "fitted" in.

All my old friends had moved on, my family were too used to not having me around and had their own lives, and the novelty of me being back soon wore off and they were back in their own routines.

I felt like I was invading and would need to lead my life down a different path on my own.

Starting over in South Africa was an option but I figured that if I were to start over why not make it a hell of an adventure and do it in a new country?

Having an online based business and not having a job meant that I could freely choose where to travel to.

I had always wanted to travel to Asia having seen most of the rest of the world, having a few friends and business associates in Bangkok and having always wanted to visit places like Phuket, Phi Phi etc

I could come out here and have fun, relax, learn a new language, adopt a new culture, balance my chi, find peace, get a yak sant, enjoy life and use Bangkok as a base so I can travel the rest of Asia at will.

First few weeks I focussed soley on learning as much Thai as possible, sorting out all the odds and ends that one needs. and discovering Thailand, getting lost, making my way home and trying my hardest to get by so that I could feel some sense of accomplishment that I could make it on my own in a strange land and feel somewhat liberated.

Having joined a dating site initially before arriving gave me an opportunity to make a few friends but I wasn't in a rush to jump into the dating scene, wanted to find my feet first.

Now that I kinda have a grounding and know what I need to survive here, finding someone who I could have as a companion and Thai teacher would be excellent and seeing as I would be meeting new people and women, why not make the most of it and started dating again?

Not desperate, just methodical and cautious.

This particular girl I have been chatting to the longest, and was supposed to go and see her soon after I arrived but put it off as there was no urgency for me - I had no plans for the holiday weekend and she begged me to come through so I did.

[sawadee1947]

..did you ask her how she earns her living? What profession if there is any?

Burmese.....no parents.....35....from CM to Pattaya.....learning English ...for what?

Best way learning English is by pillow...or even some more pillows....?

Be careful! As long you are not living here you can't be sure. Even living here she might have Thai boyfriend somewhere...

But maybe we are wrong and she is honest.... Try and enjoy

[NickJ]

If you like her see her again.....plain and simple. These SEA girls can be blunt and to the point........

[Toscano]

You are right to be cautious !!! I guess Pattaya is a good place to learn English , as there is plenty of opportunity to practice it among the foreigners , like yourself .

You didn't yet get taken to a gold shop to buy BT100,000 or more of gold ! Braces on the teath are a fashion and orthodentist scam ; girls have them even if they don't need them , because all their friends do . You need to play things slowly ; don't rush into falling in love and getting married , don't allow yourself to be pushed .

There are many tragic stories of failed marriages ; Money is the main attraction for Thais girls/women to marry a foreigner , there are a few exceptions , but not many in my opinion .

Thailand has a culture of its own , but none that equates with that of western culture ; most Thais know little beyond the immediate , nothing of world affairs ; there is not likely to be an intellectual bond between a foreigner and a Thai , unless they are a university professor or similar educational level . Thais are pretty women and can be very manipulative ; apart from bar girls or prostitutes for whom sex is a money earner , western women might be better at sex than many Thai women . Your girl doesn't want a man who frequents bars , with a beer belly and who smokes . My Thai wife doesn't like anyone to smoke even in our garden , lest a wiff of smoke enters the house .

[hroman]

I've been dating here for a few years and while I read nothing in your entry that is out of the ordinary when it comes to dating a Thai girl. That said, you still need to proceed with caution. If I read anything that was out of the ordinary it was your dates willingness to help pay for meals and transportation (not a bad sign, just unusual). My advise is take your time, go out a few times and keep on feeling her out for information. Watch for the Thai red flags like (asking for money or the purchase of clothes, sick parents and such). Braces not a red flag, nor learning English as many girls/women here get braces later in life when can be afforded. I will say that unlike what many will tell you, there are plenty of great Thai women available for marriage, dating and just fun. If possible stick with working professionals like doctors, nurses, teachers and such. While they do not really make a lot of money, most still see themselves as professional women and have higher moral standards for dating. Most importantly, TAKE YOUR TIME.

[hroman]

I've been dating here for a few years and while I read nothing in your entry that is out of the ordinary when it comes to dating a Thai girl. That said, you still need to proceed with caution. If I read anything that was out of the ordinary it was your dates willingness to help pay for meals and transportation (not a bad sign, just unusual). My advise is take your time, go out a few times and keep on feeling her out for information. Watch for the Thai red flags like (asking for money or the purchase of clothes, sick parents and such). Braces not a red flag, nor learning English as many girls/women here get braces later in life when can be afforded. I will say that unlike what many will tell you, there are plenty of great Thai women available for marriage, dating and just fun. If possible stick with working professionals like doctors, nurses, teachers and such. While they do not really make a lot of money, most still see themselves as professional women and have higher moral standards for dating. Most importantly, TAKE YOUR TIME.

[rethaier]

I would have made a quick exit as the spoon feeding started...........You ever see a Thai bird "feed" a Thai bloke...?

yes.....

Yes and even pick their nose.

[Tarteso]

3 steps in this life : health, money and love ... forget the snuff .... you're wrong in the first... GOOD LUCK!

[edhart]

I would have made a quick exit as the spoon feeding started...........You ever see a Thai bird "feed" a Thai bloke...?

YES many times

[edhart]

your lucky she did not ask for gold /motor scooter/car /land and house ,in that order ,maybe on the second date

[Mot Dang]

So many alarm bells have gone off I think I have gone deaf. I am going to be cruel to be kind. I believe she has another "sponsor". You have not said that she has a job in Pattaya, so I will presume she is unemployed. An unemployed Thai girl cannot afford either English lessons or braces on her teeth. And why go to Pattaya for them ?

Most "single" girls I know that are having braces on their teeth are in their early to mid 30's. Why, because that is the age that they most start "coming into money". Steady boyfriends that is. I have heard the story about going to Pattaya for English lessons before, another one is to go there to learn hair-dressing, or massage (the no sex type, yeah sure).

And how do you know the ID card is real. Forgeries are rife.

The feeding you exercise is just a prank. My Thai wife of 34 years gives me a taste of something she's eating sometimes, but continually doing this, that's very suspect.

Every country you visit in this world, the traveler has to be street-smart, and every country has a different set of rules to be street-smart, Thailand is no different. To become street smart in Thailand you have to have feet on the pavement (that is how you can tell the fakes on TVF). At the moment you have a dirty great "L" sign on your forehead. It is always visible to the predators. Slow down in this relationship, above all don't commit too much money if she asks. Be quietly suspicious, no harm will come to the relations ship if she is honest.

No sex ........... you gotta be kidding.

[catman20]

play it by ear and see how it goes, just keep an open mind.

[empireboy]

I like eating prawns but I hate peeling them so when my Thai lady of 4 years wants to peel and feed me.... I'm on for it.

We now have a 2 n 1/2 year old together and she hand-feeds her frequently. It's just a part of the Thai "Take Care" culture.

If she wants to clean and cut your nails and ear and nose hair when it grows don't be surprised either... someone should do it, why not your lady?

Of course some people can't deal with all this up-close-n-personal care...

[taiwangirl]

I am probably the last person to be commenting on this, but I will anyway. 5555

The OP seems like he understands the risks and potential issues. As long as he goes into a second date (or third, forth, etc.) with his eyes wide open - understanding the risks and potential rewards, he should be fine.

While I understand some of the personal stories that people have gone through, there are also a lot of good stories that have happened.

[yoboots]

Just the fact that you have had to come to TV and ask a bunch of strangers for their thoughts,

means you already know the answers to all your own questions,

but you simply do not want to listen to your better judgment.

[Tchooptip]

Hi diginomad,

how could anyone gives you a valid answer knowing the girl is 35 years old...

OK but you? Are you 45 years old or 65 for instance...?

Also you lost 10 pounds, congratulation...

but but to day are you 150pounds or 250pounds ...?

In both case not same same (IMHO at least) no offence.

[diginomad]

Just the fact that you have had to come to TV and ask a bunch of strangers for their thoughts,

means you already know the answers to all your own questions,

but you simply do not want to listen to your better judgment.

actually I didn't - not until a lot of the posts made sense, NOW I have better judgement thanks to the people who gave up some time to answer my questions.

[diginomad]

Hi diginomad,

how could anyone gives you a valid answer knowing the girl is 35 years old...

OK but you? Are you 45 years old or 65 for instance...?

Also you lost 10 pounds, congratulation...

but but to day are you 150pounds or 250pounds ...?

In both case not same same (IMHO at least) no offence.

38 years old

I was 203 pounds, now down to 194 (92 kg down to 88kg)

[Thakkar]

May I add, I have NEVER yet met a Thai bird that has rejected a farang on a first date...NEVER....

Perhaps it's the circles you move in. Mrs. T has single and divorced friends in the 25-50 age range whose preferences, in decending order, are as follows:

Thai - clean cut with secure, well-paid careers

Thai - clean cut with decent jobs

Thai - clean cut, unemployed but with decent prospects

Asian - clean cut, well off, speaks Thai

Asian - clean cut, well off, willing to learn Thai

European - clean cut, well off, speaks Thai

European - clean cut, well off, willing to learn Thai

Most are educated and speak at least some English. They would not reject a European outright, but a European wouldn't be their first choice.

Mrs. T picked me, at the time, a ne'er do well with no money who had just started a risky business because she was an idiot, who now often wonders aloud: "what the hell was I thinking?"

T

[diginomad]

If she wants to clean and cut your nails and ear and nose hair when it grows don't be surprised either..

My ex did this and I liked it, but she took far too much sadistic pleasure plucking my nose hairs.

I swear I would hear her cackle as she did it.

[ToddinChonburi]

You are off to a good start, Feeding , no big deal. Holding hands and kissing is good. Her age and staying in Pattaya is cause for cation, what is she doing for work ? Thai women are very open and Honest she just sees you have a few things to work on. LOL Meet a few more and compare. Take notes and share with us.

[kennyro]

I don't know about the rest of Thailand but in Pattaya they have free schooling for Thai females, where they can learn various trades and English.The coures are just as good as any one would pay for.

[how241]

Seems you have your eyes "open", use your instincts........Very important...

Always ask if they have been married and if they have kids..........If they say yes (kids) BUT mum takes care of them............Walk away, cos YOU WILL be taking care of them, I KNOW, and it is my NOW problem.......

This.

This is the pinnacle of my fears.

The girls that I have been shying away from are those that say they have kids and those that come from farming communities (Issan) where I KNOW they want to send my money home to Mom n Pop so that they can take a rest from working the rice paddies at my expense.

On the plus side though, sad as it is, it's a plus for me seeing as this girl's parents have passed away - just means there's no one for her to be sending my money to.

The one weird thing that also rang my bell a bit was that she is 35, learning English, is unemployed yet told me that her sister sends her money for her studies, food and board.

I know I am never going to meet a girl that checks all the boxes.

I think its more a case of

Employed, Easy on the eye, No kids, No family to interfere, Speaks a bit of English - pick 3

Your thinking wrong about 'the no parents to support'...Even if the real ones died, someone raised her and took care of her when she was young and she will feel the need to repay them.

[Buntsa]

I know this is not very nice to say, but if her parents have passed away, she at least don´t have any reason to send money home.

Sorry if someone else already pointed this issue, I did not read all the posts.

[thejcb]

Digipikey, just get on with it, nobody knows and really nobody cares what you are doing. It's all nonsense.

[matman]

As per usual most of the replies to this topic are talking out of their backsides, or their comments indicate they only see Thai females as sex objects, or they have little knowledge of Thai culture.

I first came to Thailand 8 years ago, I was wary of financial predators and so adopted the attitude of if I saw an open hand, they would see mine waving goodbye.

In fact this never happened to me, the first girlfriend I had was a widow, and she had a son from the marriage. She had an excellent job and never asked me for a penny. If we were out anywhere because of Thai culture does not show affection outside or in the street she would only hold hands when we were out, we didn't have sex straight away after meeting, and it was five years since she had had sex (before her husband died). For a Thai person to 'feed' their partner or husband is regarded as something done when you are very close to someone. Our relationship lasted three years and only ended when her father died and she was forced to go home to look after her sick mother, sadly it was not possible for me to be with her.

A year or so later, I met another lady from a dating site, we were 'friends' for many months before our relationship got serious. As before there were no public demonstrations of affection. It was some six months before we started to live together. She had her own job and was not financially dependent on me. She would buy food and cook for me and buy me clothes, not once did she ask me for money. If we eat at our room, she will feed me, and I can see the joy she gets in doing it, I am not allowed to shower on my own, she enjoys showering me, and of course the 'normal' care of cutting my nails, etc. etc.

If we go out to eat I usually have to 'help' her finish her meal, as in between eating herself she will feed me too, I've never seen anyone observe this and think it odd. We have been together for three years now, and we have not had sex for at least a year, as I'm being treated for bladder cancer, but our relationship never the less is loving and has brought me great happiness.

If a girl was in the UK and shagged every guy on their first date you would call her a slag, but from the comments here you expect sex from a Thai lady straight away - talk about double standards.

[joshstiles]

she's a freelancer for sure...

up to you